III. Debutante

The Elias School for Girls is intensely boring. It was intensely boring on her first day, and it, two years later, continues to be intensely boring. This is possibly because, by their very nature, all-girls boarding schools don't have any boys at them, and, possibly also by their very nature, have really stuffy teachers who make random bed checks, just in case anyone was having any illicit fun.

Which is not to say she doesn't appreciate it. Three years ago, she was in a public school where half the kids couldn't write their own name. Then Mom met Jack at the hospital, back when he was still a quadriplegic and suddenly Stephanie was moving all her boxes into a museum next door to Bruce Wayne's. She's not going to argue with that.

Elias is still mind-numbingly dull sometimes.

For one, it doesn't have the thrill of trying to track her freaky step-brother when he sneaks out of the house at night, which is one of her favorite summer pastimes.

However, it does have evening phone calls to said freakish step-brother, which do have their own vague charm.

Cissie's engrossed in her math homework, her headphones leaking some sort of bizarre techno that Steph wouldn't listen to in a billion years. She reaches for the phone.

"...Hello?" Tim sounds groggy on the other end, and she always forgets that Brentwood's a couple time zones ahead.

"Heya, favorite brother," she says, voice so falsely perky even she wants to punch herself.

Tim just snorts non-commitally, and answers, "Only. Also, step. So to what do I owe the pleasure?"

Which would be more of a sarcastic remark if Stephanie didn't know he secretly loved her calls. "Just calling to let you know mom and Jack's anniversary is in a few days, and that you need to send them a card."

"Mm-hm," Tim says, and Steph has the vague feeling that he's going to actually get out of bed to make a note of this. Tim's like that.

"So how's your roommate? Still giving you the happy gay sex?" She asks.

"We don't actually carry any gay sex here. I'm afraid you'll have to special order that," Tim replies, and it's so offhanded Steph wonders if he practices this stuff.

"Then those boys boarding schools have been terribly misrepresented."

"Honestly, Steph. This is me not minding the false advertising."

Steph lies back on her bed, stretching her left arm up to press fingertips against the headboard. She smiles. "Okay, okay. So your roommate's not hot. Chemistry professor?"

"I'm taking physics," Tim answers automatically. Steph waits. "Also, not sleeping with my professors. Or my roommate. Or, for that matter, anyone."

"Shame."

There's another pause before Tim says, "I'm going to take that as a compliment." He acts like he's so traumatized by their conversations, but his responses are so glib, Steph's fairly sure she's not saying anything he hadn't thought of by himself. The corner of her mouth twitches and she bites her lower lip for a moment to keep from giggling. She hears the soft sound of Tim typing on the other end of the line. "So. Anniversary. You going for a funny or a serious card?"

Steph lets up on the pressure on her lower lip and lets the giggle out because Tim's like sixteen going on fifty over there. "You were actually born forty-five, weren't you?"

"Nope, thirty."

"Good to know. Also, funny. Also, not your physics teacher? Well is he at least hot?"

Tim laughs. "I'm pretty sure he's a bit too rotund to fall under the classification of 'hot.'"

"English professor?"

"So I hear."

"You're no fun at all."

Tim just makes a detached sound and asks, "So what about you? Hot physics teacher?" And Steph can hear the challenge in his tone. It makes her want to laugh again.

"Chemistry, and the embalmed look doesn't do it for me."

"Ew."

"Now my roommate on the other hand..." Steph trails off, and can practically see the teenaged boy on the other end of the line perking up.

"Your roommate." Okay, so maybe he wasn't perking. Or interested at all.

Sometimes Steph hates Tim. "You're totally missing the lesbians over here."

"That might be a large part of the reason I'm going to a boy's school."

"Dad afraid you're going to assault the lesbians?"

"That may have not made any sense."

"'Fraid not. But yes. Lesbians."

"You seem awfully interested in my, might I remind you, non-existent, sex life for a lesbian." Seriously. Hatred. Tim doesn't make things easy for her.

"I'm just trying to be helpful, Tim."

"Right."

Stephanie grins and glances over at Cissie, who's humming along with her headphones and kicking her toes to the beat. "I should probably... Oh, hey, baby." She giggles low in her throat, and arches back, gasping into the phone.

"Um," Tim says.

"I told you you were," Steph forces her breath to hitch and lets a moan develop low in her throat. "missing the lesbians."

"... I think I'm hanging up now."

When she hears the click on the other end, Steph chuckles before hanging up the phone. Cissie glances over at her, and Steph wonders exactly how much attention she was paying to her conversation. Ah well, makes things interesting. Cissie pushes back her headphones. "Step-brother?" she asks.

"Yeah."

"You should tell him I say 'hi' next time you call."

Steph catches herself grinning at Cissie. "Oh, I will." She thinks for a moment that she sees a replying smile on Cissie's mouth as she goes back to her homework.