"Casting Coup"
Two days after the airing of the first "new" episode, Lorne called the next group meeting. He, Wesley, Gunn, Fred, Connor, Paige, Lindsey, Kathy, and Gwen all showed up on time. Spike and Angel arrived a few minutes late, but the fact that they had come at all following their walkout was encouraging.
As usual, Lorne took the lead. The others looked on as he set up a TV and VCR at the front of the room, then turned to face them. "I have bad news and good news. The bad news is, our ratings for the first new episode were low. Don't panic, though. A lot of viewers didn't know we were coming back on and they didn't tune in. Next time we'll reel them in and get those numbers way up."
"And the good news?" Wesley prodded.
"Great news, I should have said. Buffy's coming back for our last two episodes! She'll appear briefly at the end of episode five and more extensively in the final one. To help set up her return, Spike starts thinking about his last moments with her back in Sunnydale, during the 'Buffy' finale. Here's how it happened." Lorne picked up the remote control, flicked on the TV, and pressed "play." The tape began.
"Hey! That's me right before my death!" Spike exclaimed, staring at the onscreen images.
"Shhh!" Angel hissed.
Everyone intently watched. The scene being shown featured Spike and Buffy with the Hellmouth falling apart around them. Spike was wearing the amulet as waves of light radiated out from it.
Buffy grabbed Spike and passionately kissed him. "I love you. I will always love you."
"And I'll always love you too, but you have to go now!" Spike cried. "Live! Live for both of us!"
The music swelled dramatically as Buffy and Spike stared into each other's faces one final time. Tears glistened in Buffy's eyes before she turned and ran to safety, leaving Spike to burn alone.
The scene ended.
"What the hell was that?" Spike yelled. "That's not how it played out!"
"We tweaked the scene a little," Lorne explained. "We had to. You'll understand why when you review the original version." He pressed "play" again and the tape resumed.
As before, Spike was wearing the amulet while light radiated from it. Buffy, holding his hand, looked at him and said softly, "I love you."
"No, you don't," Spike disagreed. "But thanks for saying it."
The tape stopped.
"See?" said Lorne. "Talk about flat and uninspiring. We had to fix things. Make it more dramatic as we gear up to showcase the epic love triangle of Angel, Buffy, and Spike. If Buffy doesn't really love Spike, we have no story. Hence, the very minor dramatic license we took."
"The fans are gonna be pissed," Spike warned. "They know what happened in the original version of that scene."
Lorne shrugged. "Sure, they'll be pissed. Sure, they'll threaten to quit watching. But they won't do it. A little controversy will be good for the ratings. I guarantee it. By the way, who wants to see the next script?"
No one replied.
"Aw, come on," Lorne coaxed. "Anyone?"
Wesley spoke up. "We haven't even finished shooting the previous one yet. I think we were all looking forward to a bit of downtime in between."
"You'll get a month of downtime after we wrap up episode five," Lorne promised. "We're taking a vacation and then coming back all rested up and eager for the big finish. But to be able to do that, we need to get over this last hump." He flipped open his briefcase to reveal a pile of scripts, somewhat thinner than usual. "Who's first?" He grabbed the top script and offered it to Spike, who was nearest to him.
Spike didn't extend his hand. "No purring scenes in this one?"
"No purring," Lorne assured him.
Spike accepted the script. Once he had done so, the others all followed suit.
"What's with the episode title? 'Inner Children'?" Lindsey read.
"Bent on revenge against Angel and shaken after hearing a revelation from Lindsey, Kathy attempts to use dangerous magic and accidentally transforms most of the cast into their five-year-old selves," Lorne related. "Because who doesn't love seeing hordes of screaming, prank-pulling little kids running around like maniacs while the adults around them lose their heads?"
"Parents want to watch that on TV?" Fred said dubiously.
"Trust me--everyone wants to watch it," Lorne replied. "The important thing is that the misbehaving kids aren't their own and they can hit the mute button whenever they feel like it."
"This episode sounds an awful lot like that 'Spin the Bottle' one from last season," Gunn pointed out. "You know, the one where we were transformed into our 17-year-old selves."
"You're right," Angel agreed. "Have we actually been reduced to ripping ourselves off?"
"I prefer to say we're drawing inspiration from the greatness of our past," Lorne clarified.
Angel nodded. "What I thought--it's a ripoff."
"So the entire episode consists of us as a bunch of bratty children causing trouble?" Fred asked.
"Oh, no," Lorne protested. "Only about the middle two-thirds of it. The rest is classic drama. Gunn's custody struggle, Buffy's return, Paige's confrontation with Spike, Wesley and Fred's big talk, and other good stuff."
Spike darted a suspicious look at Paige. "Why is she confronting me? Why is she even on the show?"
"Oh, that's right," Lorne recalled. "You didn't read all of the fourth script and you don't know her secret yet. Spike, meet your mortal great-great-great-great niece, Paige. And while we're at it, Connor, meet your new girlfriend."
"Huh?" Connor looked up from where he and Kathy were playing Hangman on the back of his script.
Spike opened his mouth and closed it several times before giving up his quest for appropriate words.
Lorne bulled on. "Also, there's no picking music at random for this episode. We're going with Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, and Christina Aguilera. And by the way, the official Angel/Spike theme song is going to be 'Breathe.' What can I say? I like it."
The undeniable fact that no one else did seemed to have no impact upon him at all.
TBC