Title: Faultless Volume One
Authors: Velvet. Berry and Thumper
Rating: R
Pairing: Everyone under the sun.
Disclaimer: We don't own any of them but are currently bidding. Berry will do anything to get Sirius and will do anything when she gets him.
The Other Disclaimer: This was written as a one-word per person story. When very high on chocolate.
The Other Other Disclaimer: Every time we receive a flame we're going to have a barbecue so… send us one, go one you know you want to.
Crossover: Slightly Harry Potter/ Pirates of the Caribbean, mostly Harry Potter.
Snape and Remus where strolling leisurely around Snape's bedroom, kissing. Suddenly Jack Sparrow jumped out of his cupboard singing tunelessly about various porpoises making cakes from kittens. Alarmed, Remus produced several claws wrapped up in leather and clawed Jack who fainted girlishly. Snape meanwhile squirmed pleasurably in jest or horror, no one knew.
Out of Remus' suitcase appeared handcuffs and whips, property stolen from Dumbledore when he excitedly left Sirius (heterosexual) for Snape – Remus was unaware. Suddenly Snape recoiled wincing as though Remus had bitten his nose, or his arm, or elsewhere. For Remus had bitten a small foot hidden under Snape's robes.
Meanwhile Dumbledore found Remus under Snape's duvet and Jack awoke screaming "Rum!"
Dumbledore shouted "Kumbayah!" he threw apples through the time-portal which opened into three swirly-things leading to Hogwarts and Dumbledore's bedroom.
Jack poked Snape into the closet crying "Avast foul cheater!"
Snape screamed "Bollocks!" and disapperated to Arabia leaving Remus crying, Dumbledore stunned Jack comatose with his hair wrapped around Remus' fingers. Remus sobbed over Snape's robes and the split ends of Dumbledore's beard. Snape joined the French foreign legion dying his hair green and purple.
The End