Disclaimer: I don't own anything…….yet. -evil laughter-

Title: Misery Medley

Pairing: Seto Kaiba/Joey Wheeler…which I still maintain is the best couple ever. Oh um and this accidentally turned into a Duke/Tristan. Do not ask about that one, since I don't really like that couple. It just sort of…happened.

Summary: Joey wrote a letter to Kaiba that explains how he really feels. When he finally gets the courage to give it to him, what will be the ending results? Yaoi and shounen-ai, Kaiba/Joey.

Warnings: Same warnings apply. Also, I'm wondering if I should change the rating, for language and…implications. Heh.

Author's Notes: Look how quickly I'm updating! I keep writing chapters at like, 12 AM. So yeah…that's why their so um…yeah. People reviewed. And my gosh, each one was so sweet! You all were really great, thank you! I got great encouragement from everyone. People even gave suggestions.

Kai-Kai-san: Like…to stop this ridiculous story?

Keep it up, Kai-Kai, and we'll just see if you get anymore puppy kisses.

Kai-Kai-san: Shutting up now!

Heh…if you guys that Kaiba was a jerk in the last chapter, just wait until you see him in this one! But 'ya know, I'd like to point something out. In the manga, there is this scene of Kaiba chained to a desk, and Gozaburo was standing over him with a horse whip. Wouldn't you be just a tad bit jaded after that, too? Oh and P.S. the last song was 'Doubt Full' off of Catalyst. This song is 'Over the Head, Below the Knees'. Enjoy.

---

Chapter Two: Transparent

You must not have a heart

Have nothing in your chest

To let it go for so long

And let this go so far

That it goes over your head

You got the letter. You must have. I left it right there on the friggin pillow, 'ya know. You couldn't have not seen it. I mean, it was right there. And you must have read it. We got into a whole smack down about it. So, I know you found it, and I know you read it; what I don't know, is you even give a shit.

If you do, you haven't said anything to me about it. I thought it was going to be really awkward; seeing you at school, around town, even at Duels and stuff like that. I thought it was going to break my heart every time I met your eyes and saw the hurt and pain that was there. I thought that…well it doesn't matter what I thought, since I was obviously wrong.

It was Friday night when I left, and I worried the whole weekend about what was going to happen on Monday. I spent all of Saturday by the phone. The first half of the day I was waiting for you to call me, then I realized that I was being a complete moron because you are Seto Kaiba, and even if the letter did piss you off or hurt your 'feelings' -I air quote that, because I'm not sure if you have any actual feelings or not- or whatever it made you feel -if it made you feel it all- that you weren't going to just call me up and talk about it. So, I spent the other half of the day trying to decide whether or not I should call you. I would pick up the phone, get to about the fourth or fifth digit in your number, get nervous and put the phone back down, wait five minutes, then go through it again. I couldn't even get to sleep that night; which was kind of ironic, seeing as how almost twenty-four hours before, I was lieing to you about having that exact problem. I've never really had insomnia -I think that's what it's called anyway- before, and it really sucks.

I don't how many infomercials I watched, but I think they put subliminal messages in those things or something. I was craving a rotisserie chicken all night, and finally snuck out of my apartment to go and get one at around 1 am. But, other then the fact that I was brainwashed and am now spending some of my extra cash on that stainless steel kitchen knife set -hey, you never know, I might use it. Or give it to Bakura, you know, for him to share with his Yami. I get the impression that guy might like some knives- I didn't do much but brood. Which is also kind of weird, 'cause I've never actually brooded before. I've seen you do it plenty of times, so I think I got it down okay.

Anyway, when Sunday morning rolled around, I was just a nervous wreck. I guess it was pretty obvious too; even my dad commented on it, and he still had a hangover. I was sitting in the middle of the living room floor, slurping up the milk from my bowl of Frosted Flakes -I may be nervous, but I can still eat- when the door swung open and my dad stumbled into the room. I scrunched up my nose, because his presence immediately made the place smell like alcohol. Not that it smelled much better before he was there. He slammed the door shut, cursed said door for being so damn noisy, then made his way into the living room and flopped down onto the couch. After around, I dunno, five minutes passed, I guess he finally realized I was sitting there. He looked up at me and asked, "What the hell are you moping about?"

You could fool anyone with your pensive smile

And you could live in your lie for only a while

I shrugged my shoulders, muttered, "Nuttin," and then got out of that place as fast as my legs could carry me. I didn't know where I was going; I hoped that I didn't see you anywhere though. Somehow I found myself at the downtown karaoke bar; you know the one.

You used to drive all the way out there to pick me up sometimes on Friday or Saturday nights. It was sweet when you did that. You'd always come in and sit in the back and watch my sing for awhile. I caught you more then once, but I'd never admit that, because I loved the way you would smile and do nothing but sit there and watch me. You'd leave sometime when I wasn't looking, only to come back a little while later and drag me out. You said you never wanted anyone to know about our relationship, but you sure did make a little show of getting me out of that place. Were you jealous or something? I mean yeah, a few people had hit on me before -I have a good singing voice I've been told, and apparently I'm cute- but it was nothing I could never handle on my own. Maybe you didn't think that I could take care of myself, or maybe you were just making it known that I was off limits. You weren't overly obvious or anything, but you made sure that anyone watching me knew that I wasn't to be messed around with.

I'll admit it; the first time you came in there, wrapped your hand around my wrist and invited -more like demanded, actually- me over to your place, I was excited. Flattered, even, that you were treating me like that. After a while I came to my senses and realized that the only reason you were acting like that was because I was just another thing to be owned by the great and all powerful Seto Kaiba. I saw it early, too; the thing was, I really didn't care.

And I can only take so much (from not so far away)

And I admit this could be love (love can always wait)

But it goes over your head

After spilling my troubles out in song, I finally left the bar and decided to go to the game shop. It might have been a bad idea; Yugi knew nothing of our err…what did I decide to call it again? Oh, yeah, our thingy. Well Yugi knew nothing about our thingy, no one did -I don't think they did, anyway- but he is my best friend, and judging by how nervous and upset I was, I thought he might be able to figure out that something was up.

I didn't make it to the game shop. I didn't even make it half-way there. I would have…Gods I wish I would have. Because then I would have seen you with…her. I was on my merry little way over to Yug's when I passed that fancy French restaurant…uh…who's name I can't really pronounce. And I guess fate decided that She hadn't been enough of a bitch lately, because I just happened to look towards that restaurant. Into that exact window; at that exact booth; at the exact moment you kissed her.

I stopped breathing for a whole two and a half minutes. I know it was two and a half minutes, because I caught sight of myself in the mirror, and I was turning blue; don't ask me how I know, because it's not really an interesting story -let's just say it involves Tristan, a bath tub, and rubber duckies. When I resumed breathing, around a million questions began flying through my mind.

Who the hell is that? Why are you kissing a girl? Last time I checked, didn't you like guys? Who the hell is that? It only took you one day and a half to get over me? Did I really mean so little to you? Had I just been some joke; an experiment to see which sex you liked better? Was I so awful that -God forbid, I could never forgive myself is this happened- that I turned you straight? Why does she get kisses in public; is it because of her gender, or the fact that she's acceptable to be seen with in front of other people? Which again brought me back to who the hell is that?!

What does she have?

Can you let go?

Can you tell me what I am aching to know?

What does she have?

Can you let go?

Can you tell me what I am aching to know?

I stood there and just watched you for a while. When you pulled away, she was giving you a bright smile. And you…you smiled back. It wasn't the smile that you gave me -not your beautiful, heart wrenching hurt smile- but one that seemed…happy. My mind screamed no. I was not seeing this. You were not at some fancy restaurant with some woman; you were not kissing this woman; you were not smiling at her. A few more seconds passed, and I was struck with reality; yes, you were.

I ran faster then I think I've run in my entire life. I wasn't really paying attention to where I ran; I just went. I kept replaying the scene in my mind. You…kissing someone else…looking happy. Why did you look like that? You looked…weird. You'd never, ever, ever given me that type of look. I stopped somewhere in the middle of street. I let my back hit some type of brick and I slid down the wall, burying my head into my hands. Had I really made you that miserable? If I had, then why did you keep me around so long? It was obvious by the way I had just seen you acting that it wouldn't have hurt you terribly to kick me out on my ass. So why didn't you?

To say I was confused was an understatement. You're a complete contradiction -bet you didn't know I knew that word; you know, I'm smarter then you give me credit for. You tell me no one can know about our thingy, but you get really possessive when you think other people are making passes at me. You act like you're the most uncaring bastard in the world -which you very well could be- but you let yourself slip and be the nice, caring person that I know deep down you could always be if you wanted to. And when I finally get the courage to leave you, not only do you get over me without even batting an eyelash, but you do it with a girl.

Did I like…turn you off men or something? Or is it just that you cared for me so much you couldn't bear the pain of being in a thingy with another guy. Oh yeah, I'm just sure it was the last one.

"Joey?" someone asked. I really thought it was you. I thought you had found me and were coming to apologize, sweep me off my feet and take me back home where you would uh…further make it up to me. But I realized that it wasn't you. I looked up, blinking when all I saw was black hair and semi-concerned emerald eyes.

"Duke?" I asked, somewhat stunned. What was he doing here? I blinked a couple of times, just to make sure that it was him. Once I confirmed it I groaned. I just…didn't want to see him of all people right then.

"Nice to see you too," he mumbled. He said something else -I wasn't paying attention- but then stopped, mid-sentence I think. "Joey…are you crying?"

You could ruin any mood just by saying what's on your mind

And you could only tame his body never tame his mind

It wasn't until he asked the question that I felt something warm falling down my cheek. I lifted up my hand and wiped a tear away; inside I was cursing myself. I was crying over you, 'ya jerk. And what were you doing? Makin' out with some blond bimbo. "Course not," I answered, rubbing my eye. "I just got some dirt in my eye, dats all."

He didn't look convinced. Instead of saying anything, he just sighed and slid down the wall next to me. We sat in silence for the next few moments before he finally asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Why would I wanna talk about dirt? It's not much of an interesting subject. At least dats dis man's opinion."

He sighed and shook his head. "Why are you crying?"

I was angry then, because you know what, it wasn't any of his business. I told him as much, and glared at him. "Why do you care?" As an after thought I added, "And I wasn't cryin."

"I was just asking. I heard that's why friends do," he told me, sounding a bit angry. I regretted yelling at him; it wasn't his fault you were such a prick. "Never mind. Why would you want to talk to me anyway?"

"Duke…it's not dat…it's just I dun really feel like…"

"I said forget it," he told me softly and stood up. He looked back down at me, and I could still see the genuine concern in his eyes -being with Tristan has actually been good for him, he's been a lot easier to hang around ever since they got together- and shrugged his shoulders. "When you feel like talking, my doors open, okay?"

I nodded, and just like that he was gone. And you were gone. And suddenly I found myself very, very alone. I brooded some more the rest of that day, because it seemed like the proper thing to do. The morning came, and I'd never been so glad to see a Monday morning. I knew that I was going to have to see you, but if I brooded anymore, I swear I was going to end up in some type of mental institution.

I walked into homeroom, and there you were. Sitting in the back of the classroom, typing something on your laptop. I stopped right in the doorway, and I couldn't help but stare. You looked like you always did; cold, uncaring, emotionless, like there was nothing that could pull you away from that computer screen. It hit me then; that letter, my time with you, the kisses, touches, embraces, everything, hadn't meant a damn thing to you, had they?

And I can only so much (from not so far away)

And I admit this could be love (love can always wait)

But it goes over your head

It meant…a lot more then not a damn thing to me. In fact, it meant a whole more. It hurt seeing you like that; almost as much as it had to see you kissing that girl. I wanted to go and ask you who she was, where you met her, why the hell were you kissing her, but I just stood there. I thought -stupidly, yeah, I admit, but it was only me theory for a second!- maybe you didn't even realize that was a girl. I mean hey, you may be a Kaiba, but even your oblivious to some things. Like the fact that it kills Mokuba whenever you work later than usual, the fact that I'm like…in love with you…or something, the fact that we all really do care about you; if you could miss stuff that obvious, then you could have missed the fact that the guy you were kissing had breasts, right?

Or maybe you went both ways. More confusing questions to ask myself. You had all the answers, like you always do but I couldn't ask you -something I think you had planned, because you always have to be the one who's in complete control, jerk. If I did ask, I'd have to admit it was a mistake for leaving you, and I'm not even sure if it was.

I'm not saying it was a good idea, I'm just not sure if it was a bad one. They say if you love something, you should it let it go or something like that. And I love you…or something like love. Oh damn, I better love you. This hurts too much for it not to be love. Seeing you with that girl did something to me. It felt like…a lot of bad things I can't put into words. I mean, I was crying. I hadn't done that since I found out Serenity had to get that operation for her eyes. And I love Serenity; more than anything on the face of the planet, which is why it's all right if I cry for her. But for you? The only thing that could make crying for you -or because of you- even somewhat bearable in my mind would have to be because I love you. Not as much as Serenity of course, because there's still a part of me that hates you. But it would make sense. I cried, because I love you. I hurt, because I love you.

What does she have?

Can you let go?

Can you tell me what I am aching to know?

What does she have?

Can you let go?

Can you tell me what I am aching to know?

I think things would be easier if I still completely hated you, but I know that it's never going to be like that again. I could never only hate you again; I mean sure I can hate you, you make it pretty easy to do that, but I don't think I can hate you without feeling other…things for you. Which sucks, because this is just complicated. And painful. And…

I sound pathetic, don't I? That's what you would tell me anyway. That I was acting just like a pitiful little dog. You never did get tired with the dog thing. I would have thought for a genius you would have been able to come up with a lot more, but you kept up the dog thing. And okay…sometimes it wasn't that bad. You know you really are a bastard; a good kissing, nice smelling, warm, cuddly, somewhat kinky -remember the dog collar?- bastard, but a bastard nonetheless. I really should hate you for it.

The whole week went by way to slow. Each moment seemed to be dragged out, just to spite me. I saw you with that girl a few more times. Rachel Smith; blond hair, brown eyes, head of the cheerleading squad, and surprisingly, a Duelist. She's pretty too. Not the smartest person I've ever seen, but who am I to talk eh? I saw you talking to her -on Wednesday I think- outside in the parking lot. She has an attitude, and it was fun watching you guys argue. I just leaned against the wall and watched you both; it was really rather amusing. In fact, it reminded me of our old arguments -but I tried not to think about that. Soon the argument got heated, and I swore she was going to slap you. Silently I was rooting for her to give you a black eye and give you a good kick in the old Kaiba family jewels -you deserve it- but it didn't happen. Unfortunate, cause it would have been great to see someone actually do that to you, besides me.

You grabbed her, pulled her against you, and kissed her. I blanched when I saw it, but I didn't look away. Her hands went around your neck, pulling you closer -bitch- to deepen the kiss. That was my move. I used to do that. I watched her fingers run through your hair, and you pulled her even closer. Again, my move! This girl was kissing you almost exactly like me. Did that mean I kissed like a girl? …Eww, I hope not.

Then, something really unexpected. Your eyes shot open, and met mine. I could feel heat flooding to my face. I'd just been caught watching you make out with your girlfriend, like some type of old pervert, or peeping Joey. I couldn't bring myself to look away, and I prayed that you did. But you didn't. You kept eye contact with me, never looking away. You wrapped your arms even tighter around her, pulling her even closer -if that was even possible- and continued kissing. You pulled away from her slightly, and -still not ever removing your gaze from mine- began kissing her neck softly. I felt another tear, and for what seemed like the millionth time in the last few days, I ran away.

If I'm reaching you your not letting it show

Used up your space and there's no room to grow

Too deep, can't breath and you can't find the end

It's right in front of you

But it goes over your head

More running -I swear, I should join the track team or something- and I found myself heading towards the karaoke bar again. You laughed at me the first time I told you this -insensitive jerk- but when I find myself really upset…I do karaoke.

What would you rather have me do? Inhale some drug, slice through my own skin, pop a pill, force it all down inside and never think about it again like you do? Well, I know you would never do drugs; your just too smart for that. I hope you wouldn't hurt yourself, though hoping has never done much good for me. Don't think I never saw those scars on your arm. I did. I never said anything, since I never saw any new ones after we started our uh thingy. And I know you could afford pills, but the only ones I've ever seen you take are one for migraines.

So yeah, I sing. It's silly…stupid even. But it helps me. I like to sing, so there. I went there Wednesday and sung my heart out. I felt a lot better afterwards, like I knew I would.

When I'm standing on the stage, I feel…free. I know I know, I'm a silly little puppy, just shut up okay? When I'm there, the spot light on me, and I'm letting every word pour out of me, I'm not just Joey, third-rate Duelist; Joey the mutt; Joey the sidekick to the King of Games. I can let my emotions flow freely, and not worry about what anyone else to say because hey, everyone just thinks I'm singing a song. I can get everything out; my pain, anger, frustration, everything, and it only takes around four minutes. Yeah, karaoke is a good way to work off all my troubles.

What does she have?

Can you let go?

Can you tell me what I am aching to know?

What does she have?

Can you let go?

Can you tell me what I am aching to know?

You had to mess that up too, didn't you? Oh I really hated you then. When I was standing up on stage, mic in hand, eyes wandering over the audience before the music started, and there you were. My heart leapt, because again I thought that you were here to apologize; the whole knight in shining armor of mind was getting old. Because you brought her with you.

Bastard, bastard, bastard! How the hell could you do that to me? I knew instantly what you were doing, what was going on here. You were using me the entire time, weren't you? And now you were flaunting it in front of my face. Showing me just how little I meant to you. You had to know how much it hurt me to see you and her there, sitting in a table, your arm around her shoulders loosely -which seemed weird, because loose wasn't something you did. At least not with me. You held me tightly, really close, like you were afraid I was going to bolt at any moment…of course you held me like that though. Didn't want me to ruin your fun by leaving, did you?

I thought I was going to cry again, but I forced myself to sing. I pushed out every word, and it almost hurt to sing them, but I did anyway. I didn't want you to see how much you affected me, even though you probably already knew you did. Was it amusing, to see me up there, almost choking on each syllable as I tired desperately not to look over at you.

I hope I love you, Kaiba, because it wouldn't be fair for this to hurt so much if I don't love you; it wouldn't be fair if you could make me cry like if I don't love you.

You must not have a heart

Have nothing in your chest

---

Well…that had more angst than I thought it would. I was really going to aim for this to be a humor story, but it didn't actually turn out like that. -shrugs- Oh well. In case your confused, Joey was talking about the events that happened the Saturday right after he left the letter (don't worry, yes, you'll all find out what the letter said in time) up to Wednesday night when he was in the karaoke bar and he sees Kaiba and Rachel come in.

Kai-Kai-san: How come I'm so mean in this chapter? And why do I have a girlfriend? -glares- When do I get my puppy back?!

I need you to be mean for the plot. And you have a girlfriend because when I was listening to the song it kept saying she in the chorus, and gave me the idea. And hey, did you notice all of her similarities to Joey?

Joe-Joe-kun: What similarities?

Kai-Kai-san: And he said I was oblivious.

And you'll get your puppy back soon, promise. This story is going to be really short. I think it's going to have two or three more chapters. There are two songs I know I definitely wanna use, and one that I'm still iffy about. And hey, this chapter was like, over 4,000 words, so please review, cause it's nice and I worked pretty darned hard. Ja ne!