Author: Fabs G.
Rating: PG
Summary: When someone threatens to steal the Marauder's title of pranksters extraordinaire, what will they do to see that they keep it?
Disclaimer: JKR owns everything, and she's doing a wonderful job with them. I just borrowed them for a small while.
Pairing: None, but there's extremely vague hints of SBRL
Author's note: Finally, something long! Here's the promised longer chapter, and the next one will be even better!
CHAPTER 5
A serious of increasingly furious pranks followed. Sirius' s vengeance, helped by a reluctant Remus, had almost the whole school singing for an entire day- common phrases, sentences and questions were sang in front of everyone- (some songs were downright sacrificed depending on the singing abilities of the person). Even Dumbledore, when he told McGonagall to pass him the salt at breakfast, sang the phrase for the entire school better than the most impressive muggle tenor would have, product many suspected of the benevolence of the Marauders.
Dumbledore laughed all day, McGonagall looked mortified in each of her classes and Luros looked murderous.
The Enemy voiced his opinion of the Singing Day by making everyone a mute for the day, and no teacher was able to lift the spell until the day was over. While throats thanked The Enemy for the rest, it soon became annoying to try and communicate something and either write it in the air for everyone to know or resort to primitive gesturing.
After two solid weeks of daily pranks which had the teachers in increasing bad moods, a new note appeared in the Great Hall ceiling.
The previous night, after a day where The Enemy had charmed everyone in the school to have wind blowing from under them as if in a free fall, the Marauders had a late night meeting in the common room, considering just how long this was going to take.
"Not that I'm not having fun," said James, after a sneeze –half the school had a cold by now- but this isn't going to be fun during the exams."
"James, if you are suggesting what I think you're suggesting, I cease to be your friend" said Sirius very… seriously.
James threw a cushion a him "Of course I'm not giving up!"
"Oh, and we all had hope" came a feminine voice from the far side of the room. Lily Evans was making her way from the bathroom to the girls' dormitory, a comb taming her thick hair down with magic and another combing her hair by Lily's own hand. James's face lit up and Sirius, Remus and Peter, seeing this, snickered themselves silly. "While I'm glad that you don't particularly target our house, this is getting annoying" James opened her mouth to reply but she was faster "Don't even try it Potter" she said, pointing the comb at her and making her way up the stairs. "Try not to destroy the school in the morning" she said as a way of good night.
"Lily's right" said Remus before anyone could say anything "Some of the students are getting tired."
"Yeah, you just tell me how to end this and still keep our pride, dignity and reputation and then we'll talk" sighed Sirius
"A duel" came Peter's small voice from besides Remus. "A duel could settle it… right? Because if he backs and says no, he'll be a coward"
"Peter, you are positively brilliant!" beamed Sirius.
James was practically glowing "Of course! He'll have to take us one by one, of course. If he defeats one of us, he fights with the next"
"Right, we don't want him telling we play dirty, the rot" growled Sirius, deepening Remus's suspects of Sirius's canine animagi form.
"How will you do that?" came Remus, ever the voice of reason.
"A note in the Great Hall" said Sirius, with the tone he would answer the most obvious of questions.
"Yes, I'm quite aware of that, thank you, what I mean is how will you set the place and time?"
A strangled silence followed as four brains battled with their knowledge to try to establish a way to tell The Enemy the time and place without having the whole faculty there to expel them.
"A riddle" came suddenly Sirius's voice.
"Right, and if half the student body solves it, we'll have an audience to rival the Quidditch matches"
"We're the brightest students in Gryffindor." Said Sirius smugly, puffing his chest "And if The Enemy has managed to perform such things, then he must be a darn good one too" he said, almost spitting the twisted compliment he managed to give The Enemy "We don't need magic, we need muggle logic"
"You're not muggle Sirius. Neither am I" said James.
"No, but we have a muggle-born" he pointed at Peter and next to Remus "and a wizard who thinks like a muggle here"
"Hey" complained Remus, mostly because that commentary was usually meant to be disdainful in Hogwarts.
Sirius winced only slightly and looked at him "I mean, you have logic. You're smart"
Remus couldn't help but smile secretly. "Thank you, then."
"So, it's settled- we'll tell him where we'll duel with a riddle" finished James
Sirius rubbed his hands eagerly "Gentlemen… start polishing your wa-" he stopped in mid-word so violently he left skid marks in the air, but it was no use- the other three were already sprawled along the couches, guffawing loudly.
As said before, the next morning, Hogwarts awoke to a new note on the ceiling.
The Enemy,
For the sake of Hogwarts itself, it's time this is settled-
the dignified way, not yours.
Meet us tomorrow for an old way of settling wrongs
where the honorable stay temporarily and the gits end
up there for the rest of time.
The time?
Next followed a four-inches long mathematical equation that, when solved, would give The Enemy the time he was supposed to be at the duel site.
Wishing you a violent end,
S, J, R & P
PS: Anyone who solves this would do well to keep out- we're only looking out for
you, don't say we didn't warn you.
Peter and Remus came up with the torture-length equation for the time of the duel, saying up until three a-m. calculating numbers. James and Sirius alternated between hovered above them wide eyed and dozing on the couch. Peter had been taught math for the first years of his life before coming to Hogwarts and Remus had Muggle Studies classes, a part of which was devoted to math.
When the students entered the Great Hall, there was a collective sigh at not knowing where the obvious duel was going to be, though someone worked out it was the Trophy Room and passed it on to the rest.
Most, though, stared wide eyed at the equation, which glared from the ceiling nastily, and it was that day's only topic of conversation- for once in history, Hogwarts students were trying to solve a mathematical equation! It was true that all wizard-born and most muggle-born found mathematics dreadfully boring, but if solving it meant witnessing the duel, then they were able to make the sacrifice.
Up in the teachers table, McGonagall was trying to convince Dumbledore to end this once and for all, but Dumbledore was too busy being proud of his students- the desperation of not being found by Filch or other students had them resorting to muggle methods and one of the most difficult muggle things to solve at that.
"Look at that!" beamed James "Even Dumbledore finds us brilliant! See the glimmer in the eyes?" he practically squeaked.
"Not so loud" moaned Remus as he flopped in his seat besides Sirius, holding his head.
Sirius winced in sympathy "Headache?"
"I have hippogriffs pounding the inside of my head" said Remus, pressing his temples with his thumbs. He pushed his plate of food away from him, too pained to eat.
"Makes two of us" said Peter, and sank in the seat besides James "I hadn't used that much math in years. Come to think of it, I never used that much- not even when I had to pass it at school!"
"James, take care of Pete, will you?" said Sirius winking. James understood perfectly and only nodded. "Come here, you" said Sirius to Remus, and swung one leg over the bench, straddling it.
He motioned for Remus to do the same, took out his wand and pointed it at Remus' forehead.
"Wait you, oh impetuous one- what in Merlin's name are you going to do to me?" frowned Remus.
"Heal you. Now stay still. Close your eyes" he ordered, and Remus did as told.
Sirius pointed his wand at Remus's forehead, muttered something and Remus felt as if he had suddenly been wrapped in a warm cocoon, better than being snuggled in a hot bed with your honey in wint- well, almost better.
"Open your eyes" said Sirius.
Remus did, and he was amazed to find out his splitting headache was gone. "Wow, that felt good… What did you just do?"
James spoke next "Old family healing spell- taught Sirius once in Quidditch practice when he had a nasty fall and broke his two legs. Can't use it more than two or three times ever in a person or it'll backfire severely, that's why it's not popular. I often use it only once."
"When did you break your two legs?" frowned Remus, staring at Sirius. He looked down at Sirius's legs as if he hoped to find them terribly mangled and twisted.
"It was last year. It was-" he lowered his voice "during a full moon"
Remus nodded briefly, frown still in place "And you didn't think of telling me?"
Sirius smiled his typical Marauder smile, one that spoke of total innocence- whether he was or not "I forgot!"
"You forgot you broke your two legs?" asked Remus, incredulous.
Sirius's smile disappeared "James healed me a minute after it, the poor guy was going to have a stroke at the sight of me, what's all this about?"
Remus relaxed visibly, the frown disappeared "Sorry, it's just –" he swung his leg over the bench back to his breakfast and cast a brief glance to James and Peter, who were suspiciously quiet "We catch the minor cold and the other three already spent the entire day with the other in the infirmary room, it didn't seem right"
"Well I'm obviously fine" smiled Sirius lopsidedly.
A waft of red hair and green eyes run past "You're going to stay here much longer? We have potions!" said Lily
The marauders wolfed down their breakfast and set off after her, James trying to disregard the previous exchange between Sirius and Remus.
The rest of the day was spent half in classes and half practicing for the following day's duel. They knew that skipping classes would give the teachers part of the solid proof they needed to send the lot of them into detention (which as yet they hadn't managed, seeing as they needed solid proof and lacked that). They skipped lunch and dived into an empty classroom to practice with each other. The homework that was due the next day was done with the speed of lighting and James and Sirius helped Peter so he wouldn't hold them back.
The afternoon before the duel, as soon as the last class was over, they rushed to the Gryffindor tower, changed into muggle clothing and slipped their school robes over it and rushed back to the common room to practice, Remus and Peter albeit a little reluctant at wondering the school halls at 12.35 am.
Midnight tolled in the common room and the amount of students still lingering in the common room, most in pajamas, was impressive. Though some were yawning violently, they all wanted to see the Marauders depart.
James swiftly pocketed his invisibility cloak in his robes and motioned for his three friends to join him by the door.
Everyone was silent, even the prefects, who had secretly agreed not to provide detention or take points if no student was injured.
James and Sirius exchanged the most mischievous look they could muster.
"We shall return triumphant!" began James, his hands up in the air like a desperate politician. Sirius stood by him, proudly "Tonight the identity of Gryffindor's Enemy shall be revealed and, as soon as he is vanquished, peace shall return!"
There was loud clapping, and someone shouted "Go already!", which earned him a glare from all four.
Finally, they turned and left the common room. As soon as they were out, they slipped under James's cloak, so that no one would follow them.
They arrive to the Trophy room early enough, with fifteen minutes to spare. James and Sirius started dueling with each other, while Remus and Peter, the latter of which was a bundle of nerves, chose to rest by the 20th Century awards trophy case.
Soon enough, the fifteen minutes turned into half an hour, and the thirty minutes into forty-five.
"Sodding git's not coming" sentenced Sirius, after they had waited and hour and James had resorted to reading the inscriptions from all trophies in the room, which were not few.
Remus, who had been pacing up and down waiting for The Enemy and smirking from time to time, plopped down on the floor besides him. "He chickened out" agreed Remus.
James, thoroughly deflated at not having a fight to release all his pent up energy, agreed "Yeah, let's go"
"Shouldn't we leave a note or something? If he comes he'll think we didn't show up" pointed Peter.
"The equation did good to you, eh?" said Sirius to Peter
"Yeah, got my brain working and all" he beamed.
James directed his wand to the ceiling and scribbled the words 'The Enemy has been newly dubbed The Coward. You lose.' and left, the four of them still feeling like they had just been denied a good fight.
Well, three of them anyway.
To Be Continued…..