****Hey, sorry it took such a while to update, but school has been murder lately. I'm actually gonna take the advice of a reviewer and make Hermione have a bit of a backbone. Be prepared for a take-no-crap Hermione. ***
Why I Hate You
I hate the way you make me feel
Hermione woke up from her rather fitful sleep. She was still feeling very sore about the whole issue with Malfoy, and mentally screamed at herself for being such a dunderhead. Now that she thought about the whole situation rationally, she realized how foolish she had been. From now on, she wasn't going to take any more crap from Malfoy. Fact of the matter was that she was becoming sort of a pushover, and she hated it. After all, wasn't she Hermione Granger? The one who dared to slap Malfoy in his face-twice?
She told herself then and there that she did not like Malfoy. Her strange feelings were probably the result of some freaky chemical imbalance or something. She sighed and decided to take a long, hot shower so she could feel refreshed for class. Oh, no. First thing this morning was double Potions. And they still had to work together for some dreaded potion. She sighed deeply and trudged to the bathroom, thankful that no one was awake yet.
Draco was feeling very confused. Making Hermione Granger look like a fool in front of everyone would have been a bright spot in his day. Now, as he stood in front of his mirror, he couldn't help but wonder, "why don't I feel happy?" After all, he hated mudbloods as he hated anything else unpleasant. Seeing her cry gave him a strong urge to make it better. He felt like he should be the one to console her. Yet, as she looked at him with those accusing eyes, all he did was laugh.
The whole scene of what happened that day played in his mind over and over again. Now, every word he said to her echoed in his brain a thousand times louder. He felt something he had never felt before. Looking in her tearful eyes, he felt a very odd emotion. Guilt, in every sense of the word was upon in him in such a real way that he couldn't bear to stand it.
Although he was supposed to hate mudblood Granger, for some odd reason he was hating her less and less, and feeling sorrier for himself more and more. She was right. There was no point in denying it. She had read him like an open book and he loathed it. He felt as if his superb plan of concealing his emotions was completely thwarted by her in a minute. He felt…vulnerable. Merlin, that was something he would never get accustomed to.
He needed some serious separation time from Granger, but things never did seem to work out for him when he really wanted them too. At least lately. First period was double potions. He had a feeling that since Granger was so sensitive lately, she would probably just cry when she saw him. Girls, he thought. They become so emotional.
Potions Class
Professor Snape didn't say a word. He simply walked into the class and sat at his desk. The class assumed that this was the signal to begin separating into their groups so they moved. Hermione took a deep breath. She chanted a mental mantra in her head. "I won't let him get to me." There he was, sitting as if there was nothing wrong with the world. Before Malfoy said a word, Hermione spoke. "Malfoy, I would like to apologize to you firsthand. I was foolish enough to think that you had some other personality. But I see now that you don't. I agree with you 100 percent. You are nothing less than an arrogant, mean, prideful, person. And I am sorry with all of my heart for daring to think otherwise."
With that, she proceeded to get started with the potions assignment for the day. Inwardly, she smiled. She wasn't going to be the sissy anymore. Elation filled her when she noticed that Draco still hadn't said a word, he looked rather shocked. Draco cleared his throat. "First off, Granger, apology accepted. What you see is what you get. I am everything you stated and much more. Malfoys are always much more. I am powerful, dangerous, and…and…"
"And what? Cowardly? Foolish? Weak?" "Granger, don't you dare..." Hermione snorted. "Don't I what? Honestly, Malfoy, you talk as if these things aren't true. The whole lot of you is cowardly for bowing down to Lord Voldemort. You in particular are foolish if you think that I'm going to believe your crap about being powerful. And you're took weak to be who you want to be…" Hermione bit her lip, but it was too late. Her whole point of this was to prove to Malfoy that she had abandoned her whole idea about him being truly a good person on the inside.
Draco gave up. He couldn't hold out forever. "Granger, I am sick and tired of you reading me as if I am a book that you can just pluck off of a shelf. You make me feel as if everything I have ever done needs to be questioned." "Malfoy, why don't you just let go of everything? Just pretend you don't know anything about family honor and be yourself because…" Draco cleared his throat. "Because what? Because I feel as if I'm not myself anymore every time you talk to me? It's not exactly a pleasant feeling, Granger. Yet…"
Professor Snape announced to the class, "You have 30 minutes left. By this time your potion should be in third stage." "Damn, Malfoy, we'll continue this, ah, discussion at a later time. I have no intention of failing this lesson, so let's do this, alright?" Malfoy nodded his head in agreement. He was a bit shocked. It had been a while since he had seen this side of Hermione. This Hermione made him feel- weird. He was unsure of himself every time she spoke. 40 minutes later, Draco and Hermione were in the library, in a very awkward silence. Hermione's insecurities kept running through her head. Hadn't it only been yesterday that she was publicly humiliated? What was she doing here anyway? She opened her mouth to tell Malfoy that this was all just a huge mistake.
Malfoy, however, spoke first. "Granger, listen. I just want you to know that even though we may not exactly be the best of friends… I have always sort of respected you. I mean, I don't like you or anything, but I still think you're sort of smart. So, let's just act as if the whole thing yesterday didn't happen, alright?" Hermione's first inclination was to launch into a whole speech about how much she sort of respected him when she stopped herself. This was the same Malfoy who made her feel as if she was worth nothing. The same person who had made her cry. No. She wasn't going to give in that easily.
"Normally, I would have accepted that statement and pretended as if everything was fine now. But, honestly, I don't buy it, Malfoy. Don't think telling me that I'm smart will help this situation. You have no idea how much you have hurt me over these years. And even if you did, I don't think you care. Because you don't care about anyone except yourself." "Granger, come on, it's not that serious." That was it. Hermione was on her last nerve and he spent it.
"How dare you tell me that this is not all that serious? Do you have any idea as to how much you have made me feel as if I should be dead? As if I really didn't deserve to be here? Half the reason why I am the number one student here is just to prove myself to everyone, you especially, that people like me can be just as good as purebloods." Hermione added quietly, "Your opinion meant more to me than I really let on." She put her head down. She was fighting not to cry, but it was really a losing battle. Too many emotions had been bottled up for too long.
Draco gaped at Hermione. He had really had that much of an affect on what she did? "Granger, I-I guess I'm sorry. I mean, you know how it is. Mudbloods are just as good as purebloods. I only teased you for fun. If you want me to stop, I will. I mean, you're not all that important to me."
Hermione's head snapped up. Her face was red with anger. "You guess you're sorry. You only teased me for fun. How typical. If I want you to stop, you will? Malfoy, who are we kidding here? You know as well as I do that you are not that powerful. I wonder what dear Draco will say when his friends pass by me and shout those horrid remarks. I'd bet a galleon that Draco would join right with them. Look in the mirror. You're just like the rest of the losers out there, trying to keep your friends."
With that, she got up and began to walk away. She stopped abruptly and turned around. "Just so you know, there was once a time when I thought that everyone had a bit of good in them. You proved me wrong."
***What do you think?? I kinda sorta like this chapter. Tell me what you think. Pleeeaaase!! BTW, I feel kinda sad since J.K. Rowling said that Draco and Hermione would never be together. *Sniff, sniff*