Author: Fabs G.
Rating: PG
Summary: When someone threatens to steal the Marauder's title of pranksters extraordinaire, what will they do to see that they keep it?
Disclaimer: JKR owns everything, and she's doing a wonderful job with them. I just borrowed them for a small while.
Pairing: None, but there's extremely vague hints of SBRL
Author's note 1: Not happy with the formatting. I promise, I'll play with html the next opportunity. For now, sorry about it.
Author's note 2: Another long chapter. When I said I'd bring longer chapters, I wasn't kidding, uh? By the way, this chapter was SO much fun to write! Enjoy! (Only one chapter left)
CHAPTER 6
The next morning was tragic for the Marauders. As soon as the first of the four (Peter) stepped into the Great Hall he run back to call the others. There was a note.
S, J, R & P
I was in that room. The fact that you couldn't see me does not mean I was absent.
Knowing the lot of you, right now you're thinking that I couldn't work out the where and when, so let me prove it to you.
S, you said I wasn't coming and called me a spoiled git. R, you had the nerve to call me a chicken. J, you agreed. P, you, as usual, stayed silent.
Also, I have taken two small tokens of yours. Find it and you find me.
The EnemyYou could almost see the bastard snickering and sticking his tongue out.
As soon as the Marauders read this, they sped back to the dormitory, nearly killing Frank on his way out of it.
"What's going on, guys?" he asked as they raced up the stairs.
"The bastard stole us!" bellowed James.
Frank, out of curiosity, followed them up, and was met with the sight of having the four boys threw every single one of their belongings up in the air as they rummaged their trunks.
After a good deal of flinging around, Sirius emitted a sound that was similar to an angry dog growling. "My keychain!" he bellowed
"What keychain?" asked Remus, head buried in his belongings.
"The one I nicked off my uncle's, the one he then gave to me" he said, jumping over the scattered stuff and sitting over Frank's trunk, besides him.
"The pirate one, with the jolly roger?" asked James, still rummaging his stuff
"Yes" growled Sirius, and Frank slid sideways on the trunk with fear at being so near him.
James trying to sound comforting "You'll get it back, mate, don't worI'LL KILL HIM!"
Sirius managed to smile at his friend, and Frank outright laughed. "What'd he nicked off you?"
"My grandfather's golden city key" he said through clenched teeth. "The one he was given as an honorary citizen" he was fuming.
Remus and Peter closed their trunks and sat on them, one of them relieved to know nothing had been stolen from him.
"So the bloke's got a key and a keychain?" asked Frank, who had been filled on the note by Peter. Everyone nodded . "Whatever did you take them to the duel for?"
James and Sirius opened their mouths to answer when something dawned on them.
They hadn't touched the keychain and key for months- they hadn't taken them to the duel. Which could only mean…
"He's a Gryffindor" growled Sirius.
All heads suddenly turned to Frank, who opened his eyes extremely wide "Me, The Enemy? With my underground notes in charms? I don't think so, I'd have been caught in day." he quickly defended himself.
Deflated mostly because they knew Frank's notes in charms had been catastrophic as of late, the Marauders resigned themselves to breakfast, hoping to discover The Enemy during the course of the day.
They were still musing and growling about it at lunch, James and Sirius poking their food from the rage at their lost belongings and glaring at the note in the ceiling every now and then, Peter and Remus wisely letting them sit together to grumble on their anger with each other.
"Just think about it" said Sirius, through still clenched teeth "The bastard is in our table now. Eating with us."
"Laughing at us" provided James, which enraged Sirius even further.
Sirius stabbed a potato with his fork, twisted it around mashing it into an unrecognizable pulp. Remus looked at him sacrificing his potato –probably imagining it was The Enemy- and decided it was high time that The Enemy pulled his last pranks, the one that would reveal his identity.
He quivered with excitement and found it very hard to hide his grin.
"Alright" said James, dropping all pretense of eating and letting the silverware clank loudly on the plate. Remus shivered for only a second. "What's next?" he asked.
"The quills?" asked Peter, wondering about the next prank. Remus breathed.
"No, I want something bigger" said Sirius.
"The desks then" said Remus, paying attention to the book besides his plate and not to his friend.
"You're volunteering?" smirked Sirius.
Remus's head shot up "What? No! No… I was just saying"
Sirius smiled good-naturedly- the first in all morning "Ease down, Rem, I was just joking"
Remus breathed a sigh of relief, letting James and Sirius plot the when and how of the next prank.
But that night, when all four Marauders went to the first classroom to charm the teacher's desk and chair (into hovering on the ceiling and staying there until midnight), the Marauders found that their charms did not work.
"Why isn't it working?" said Sirius, practically poking McGonagall's desk with his wand when the time-activated charm did not stay.
"Maybe it's protected against spells" suggested Peter
"Wait" said James, and pushed Sirius out of the way. He pointed his wand at the desk "Revelus incantatem!" he said.
The desk rattled a bit, glowed green and then went back to normal. Sirius stuttered. The spell was designed to reveal what type of charms or spells an object had- red meant a curse or hex, violent a protection spell, green a simple charm.
"He-he… not a protection charm…" Sirius said, not able to produce a coherent sentence.
Peter looked curiously at Remus "Protection charm would have made it glow purplish. This one was green- it means a simple charm is in work- and because Sirius's charm did not work, it means that the same charm that Sirius was trying is the one on the desk. Any other charm would have worked fine" Said Remus, to Peter's right.
"Although the results would have been a bit garbled…He's already been here" said James, no one knowing if he had said it awed or mad.
"Let's try the other desks. It might have just been McGonagall's" said Sirius, rushing out the classroom and not even bothering to use James's cloak.
But when they got to the other classrooms, no matter the subject, they found the same unnerving results. The desks had already been charmed. All of them.
"Alright, let's not panic people. Let's go hex the brooms" said James.
"But James… it's nearly one in the morning!" whined Peter
"I'd rather have dignity than a good night's sleep. Come on!" he said, pulling the cloak over all four of them.
But when they arrived to the first –and the next, and the next- of the brooms cupboards, they found that the brooms had already been hexed.
As had the bathrooms.
As had the Slytherin's table at the Great Hall.
Before James could suggest another prank of their list, the list had all been checked by The Enemy, and Sirius called a late night meeting for the Marauders at the Gryffindor common room.
It was past 2.30 when they got to the common room, exhausted, and let themselves fall on the couches.
"I don't understand this! It's like he knows our steps!" said James, hands up in the air, reveling on the loneliness of the common room. Sirius slumped besides him, leaving Remus and Peter the couch right in front of them.
"I was really looking forwards to the charmed broomsticks" said Sirius pitifully
"And the teacher's desks" shot back James
"And the transfigured and charmed quills" piped in Peter.
"How can he get ahead if we haven't sh-" Sirius caught himself in mid-sentence and stared at Remus, James and Peter. He was going to end the sentence by saying 'if we haven't showed the list to anyone else but us' when the obvious dawned on him.
His friends looked at him, but he answered to no stimuli. Sirius first looked at James, pointing a finger and thinking hard. An expression crossed his face and then he looked at Peter. He pointed a finger at him too, and also looked like he was thinking hard. He shook his head and then looked at Remus (who was battling fiercely not to grin)
He pointed his finger at him. He thought… and he grinned. He thought some more, and some more…
"YOU BASTARD!" he bellowed at Remus, his mouth opened so wide a phoenix would have fit in nicely.
He sit up straight and kept looking and thinking. Remus's expression did not change, but Peter's and James did.
"Hey!" said Peter, inching slowly towards Remus- he hated when his friends insulted each other.
James sit up straight too, looking at Sirius disbelieving "Sirius, what on earth? That was uncalled for!"
"Oh it was very called for, I assure you." He said to James, yet still looking at Remus. "Did you enjoy it? Had fun?"
It was hard to discern all the emotions in Sirius's face, so Remus went for honesty. He grinned a very wide (and very mischievous-looking) grin. "Quite a lot, actually. It's been terribly fun" James and Peter looked at Remus now, very confused. He decided to finally reveal himself. "Specially hexing Peeves" his grin grew wider, although that didn't look physically possible.
"What?" asked Peter.
"You have got to be joking!" said James.
"It was you? You're The Enemy?" said Peter, mouth hanging open like a fish in a fish store. He slumped on the sofa, disbelieving.
"Who else would get ahead of us in our pranks? Who else would have dared stole something from our trunks? Who else has skyrocketing marks in charms?" said Sirius
Remus's grin was becoming contagious. "What can I say, I can be stealthy when I want to… though hopefully, I'll be able to remain a friend…" Remus crossed his legs over the sofa Indian style, and took two things out of the pockets of his jeans: James's golden key and Sirius's pirate keychain. "It turns out that I wasn't over at the library earlier today but placing time-activated charms on several items around Hogwarts"
Sirius got up "Oh I am going to strangle you!" he said, yet everyone could see the beginnings of a smile at the corners of his mouth.
In a swift movement, Remus stood up on sofa, got hold of its back, swung his legs over Peter's head and was soon standing behind it, still facing Sirius.
Sirius stopped dead in his pace. "How the fuck did you do that?" he said amazed.
Remus merely pointed at himself "Werewolf deftness" he said, and for once grinned with such self esteem it was contagious.
Sirius, nonetheless, continued his attempts at werewolf hunt "I don't care. Come here!" he said, running around the sofa and nearly killing himself with a hidden coffee table "You've any idea the two weeks you've made me tolerate?!"
"I know- I laughed myself silly every morning!" said Remus, deftly jumping over a desk that was next to a wall, towering over Sirius.
Sirius made a grab for one of Remus's ankles, but as it was one of the biggest desks, failed. He climbed on top of it, quite athletic but not so much as Remus.
James and Peter got up from the sofa and went to the desk Remus and Sirius were standing on. Both of the boys had their eyes opened very widely.
Sirius and Remus were now doing some kind of odd dance, where Sirius tried to grab Remus but Remus kept ducking him. Finally, to avoid a very nasty fall, Remus let himself be caught by the dark haired boy, pinning his uppers arms against the wall.
James and Peter moved nearer to the desk, unconsciously guarding a possible fall. They were still staring at the still smiling Remus. "You did the best we had on our list- single-handedly!" said James in awe.
Sirius seemed to have reached the point that had been bugging him since he realized who The Enemy was. "You. Hexed. Peeves." He said slowly, as if there was some trick to it. "Not to mention the teacher's desks and the bathrooms during the day! " He broke into the widest grin "I knew there was a reason why I liked you"
Remus frowned, but the smile never left his face. If anything, it became bigger.
"As a fellow marauder and a friend, of course" added Sirius quite quickly, letting Remus go.
James muttered a 'Riiight…', Peter frowned, and Remus smiled gleefully in a way that was clear it had nothing to do with his pranks.
For the first time in his life, Sirius Black blushed beetroot red. It was quite the odd, unfamiliar feeling. He jumped off the desk and shoved his hands in his jean pockets. His face was still a mixture of embarrassment and delightful glee.
Remus sank down and sat at the edge of the desk, legs dangling happily off the edge. "I've got a question"
"We have a million" said James deadpanned.
Remus smirked "Those can wait" he said "My questions is, what will The Marauders do now that they know who The Enemy is?"
Sirius, James and Peter looked at each other- evidently, the rush of adrenaline had not let them think about this.
Sirius and James looked at each other, the same thought in their heads. "Blame Snape?" they said with grins that could have easily suited a five-year-old that had just gotten a new toy for Christmas.
Remus shook his head, wounded "I'm not going to let the git get the credit of all I did, detention be damned!"
Sirius smiled proudly at Remus and was about to say 'that's my boy' when he thought better of it and stayed silent.
"Well, if we say we know who The Enemy is, McGonagall would probably make us spill the name out" said Peter matter-of-factly. Everyone nodded.
"Well, then" said James, leaning on the desk besides Remus "How about an anonymous cooperation between the Marauders and The Enemy?"
"Am I to understand that I no longer belong to the Marauders?" asked Remus, knowing they wouldn't do that, but at the same time fearing they would.
"Heavens, yes you do" said Sirius, and passed an arm over Remus's shoulders. "…but just for this small while, you won't." he said, and smiled a mischievous smile his friend knew all to well.
Remus looked at Sirius' dangerously close face and frowned "What are you planning?"
Sirius merely smiled- but the smile would have easily scared first and second years…
To Be Concluded… Don't miss the last prank!