Disclaimers: All FF8 characters are respectfully copyrighted to their rightful owners, Squaresoft. No copyright infringement intended for the usage of their characters in this work of fiction. No profit is being made by this fan fiction; please do not redistribute unless otherwise stated so by me personally.
Warning: The story will eventually depict homosexual relationship(s). I don't write my characters as horny rabbits about to jump the sack, love at first sighters, or Shakespear-spouting lovers, but if you have a problem with being a mature and respectful reader about NON-heterosexual relationships, I suggest you STOP READING now. And really, don't be an idiot and flame me after I've warned you. It'll irritate me if you do, but I won't be losing any sleep over you. Possibly just some brain cells at your lack of comprehension.

Part One:

He casually lit the end of the cigarette, the red embers glowing softly beneath the flickering lamp post, and the scent of liver damaging nicotine filling the night air.

Breathing in slowly from one slender end, the exhaled smoke billowed gently upwards and away in a gist of gray smoke.

He watched the little puffs of white idly, his mind lingering none too long on one thought before moving to the next. Memories flitting by in an uneventful sequence; when had his days become so monotonous and routine?

Another drag, another puff, and his gaze still unwavering from the starless sky.

Star light, star bright,
First star I see tonight,

A memory flashed behind the cool blue eyes that kept on searching the empty sky.

Chin-length blonde hair, stuck up and out every which way, framed a pale, slender face as the sharp chin perched on drawn-up knees. Large blue eyes, so wide and filled with life, gazed up at the night sky, unwavering. Each sight, sound and smell was embraced with wonder and joy.

Just him, a beat-up stuffed Tonberry that had seen far better days, and the wide, vast sky and the world around him.

The stars were particularly bright that night.

A small spark flamed against the black velvet, and he held his breath is it became a luminous streak.

A shooting star!

And he squeezed his eyelids shut, and fervently made a wish--a home, a family, friends, love, warmth.

I wish I may,
I wish I might,

The memory faded away, tucking itself into a small corner in his mind and he let the warmth of it slip away, sliding from between his slack fingers.

He let the cigarette butt fall to the ground, crushing it beneath a thickly soled heel.

There were no stars for him tonight to wish upon; the whimsical fantasies spun by his once upon a time innocent mind were all long gone. Those days were far, far away from his empty sight.

It couldn't have been too long ago that he had just been 17, bouncing on the balls of his feet with excess energy, tightly clenched fists pumping the air in nervous excitement.

But now... now he stood woodenly, his stance wary and withdrawn.

His eyes dull and blank

He no longer yearned for excitement, for adventures, for life-risking assignments to fill the days that were now endless and tiring.

Have the wish,

A cool breeze sank into the thick jacket he wore, and he could feel the goosebumps rise all along his arms. He told himself that it was the cold night air that made him tremble so. He did not want to seek further, deeper, where the gaping hole in his chest lay.

"Zell?"

His mind told him to believe that the smooth, drawling voice was part of his halting train of thought, but it called his name again, getting clearer and closer, outside of his mind.

Controlling the slight trembling that made him want to wrap his arms around himself, he turned to acknowledge the sniper.

Violet eyes were peering at him from underneath the ever-present tasseled hat. His mouth was dry and his tongue felt thick as he forcefully put on a plastic-feeling grin.

He knew it failed when the eyes grew dark visibly.

"Yo Irv, what brings ya out here? Ain't it kinda late out?" He kept his voice light and friendly, but adding silently with his eyes to not push as to why he himself was out so late.

"Just out for a stroll 'cause I couldn't go to sleep. What about you? What are you doin' out here so late?" The dark eyes were defiant, telling him that yes, Irvine would push as to why.

Zell sought for the anger he should have felt, but only found weariness instead.

It was late, that's why I feel so tired, that's all it is. That's all.

Zell let his shoulders rise and fall in a limp shrug, his eyelids feeling heavy. He allowed himself to close his eyes, tilting his face towards the sky, and let a pregnant silence settle briefly between them before answering softly. "Couldn't sleep either. Feel tired but don't wanna sleep."

Because the nightmares will be waiting.

The wind was picking up again, and he could feel his body begin to tremble once more.

He suddenly felt a warm hand gently settle on his shoulder.

Feeling surprise at the unexpected touch, he let his eyelids rise and turning to the side slightly, have a questioning look at the other man.

And found Irvine's face mimicking his previous one, eyes closed and face tilting towards the empty sky. Irvine's expression almost dreamy, in a sad way. Zell didn't try to put meaning behind the seeming sadness, not wanting to read something more into what probably wasn't anything.

The silence was regining once more, but neither were overly compelled to break it. They stood there, side to side, without voicing the unspoken words and silent questions that hung between them.

Irvine didn't withdraw his hand.

Zell didn't shrug it off.

I wish tonight.