Tourniquet

Rating: "R" - for mature themes & possible strong language.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the featured characters - they are the property of the WWE. The song "Tourniquet" from which the fic takes its name is owned by the band Evanescence and the lyrics may appear throughout. Reposted after a long hiatus.

Distribution: Just ask.

Summary: Two people gradually realise they have a lot more in common than they think but can they save each other … from themselves?

1.

A lone figure curled on a couch which had seen better days, in an anonymous hotel in an impersonal city – this was what she had been reduced to. She thought she would never change, had in fact promised herself that she wouldn't. But she had, and she sure hadn't done it by halves either. Oh, yeah, when she looked in the mirror, she could look past the physical changes; but when she looked deeper, to the things that really mattered, she could no longer recognise the person she had become.

The changes had crept up on her from behind, without her really noticing; yet it seemed like yesterday when everything had been so different. It's funny how that happens, how a person can slowly transform, yet it still seems to have happened all of a sudden. Funny how the mind works; how you see what you want to see and blank out all the rest – maybe if she hadn't had such blinkered vision, it wouldn't have come to this. She wouldn't be alone. Alone, and hating herself like this. And yet, it was not like hating herself, but rather some stranger who had taken her over - invaded her body … corrupted her mind … corroded her very soul. Yes, that was it – maybe it was not herself she should be angry with at all. Maybe it wasn't her fault …

But it was and she knew it.

*****

Here she was, in old, worn jeans and a baggy sweatshirt, hugging a cushion to her chest and staring at the television. Watching images of herself; images of what seemed like another era, a different life. She had been so happy, so contented, then and with good reason. She finally had it all – a family who would have done anything to protect her, friends who cared about her, a boyfriend who loved her.

But that was then – what did she have now?

A boyfriend? That was well and truly over – he had cheated on her, had said she drove him to it. And she supposed that could be true. Truth was ... she had just never really loved him. Not as anything more than a friend. Hurting him had never been her intention though; she had just been … caught up in the hype, drawn by the idea of having someone of her own. Well, she wouldn't have to worry any more; there was little chance of that now.

Friends? That she knew had been all her own fault – she had driven them away. The changes had already begun and they had been concerned about her. But she had known best, turned down their well-meaning advice and told them to stop interfering. So they had. She had never regretted anything so much in her life …

But that wasn't quite true. There was one thing she had done which stood out like a beacon, out-shining all other mistakes – she had betrayed her family. It was probably the one thing no one would expect someone like her to do; surely she wouldn't even be capable of it. But she had done it just the same, after everything they had done for her. No matter how much her other actions pained her, the look of hurt and sorrow on their faces would haunt her for the rest of her life. It was that look which had told her there could be no going back – she couldn't expect them to forgive her.

Not when she couldn't forgive herself.

Watching the screen, she couldn't help but flinch when she saw one of the many times she had been saved by the bravery of a member of her family. Seeing how selflessly they pushed her aside and took blow after blow for her made the tears which had been threatening finally spill over and she finally gave way to them. Sobbing into her cushion, her voice broke as she cried out into the darkening room.

"Oh, Bob, Crash … I'm so sorry … So truly sorry …"

*****