Returning to Simplicity: A Self Insertion Story
Introduction: The Entry to the Naruto World
By: Cornel Kennedy
Yesterday I had the fortune of meeting a famous Kunoichi from Hidden Leaf Village. I don't know how I had got here except that last thing I remember doing was eatting a bunch of mushrooms that I found in the backwoods of my property. The female ninja had a blue diamond tatoo in the middle of her forehead and two long slim brands of blonde hair that flowed down her green jacket. Of course, Tsunade did not agree that was what I had found in her. She had instantly called me up for staring at her prominent cleavage that she leaned on over her desk that was covered with paperwork. I was shocked but I did not lie. I had told her, "From what I can see of you over your desk, more than half of it is breats."
Throwing her head back, she had laughed loudly and slammed her fist into the desk that caused the room to shake and various scrolls to fall to the ground from their shelves. I had asked her why I was here. As I remember it, she had told me that her village was short on ninjas, and though they customarily discouraged authors from entering their world as a self insertation, she would give me a free pass considering my circumstances. She had commented on my ability to write strategies to overcome the opposition. I could only respond that I had also written the part of the opposition to act the way they did in order from them to lose. She had shook her head in disbelief and told me that this was true, but every fanfiction I had wrote had kept the characters as true as they were to the exception of the fanfiction I kept under my pillow about her. This had stirred her to tighten her face in anger and pick up a long stick from her desk with to hit me over the head. I had rubbed my throbbing head and stopped when what I had thought was danduff fell onto my shoulders. Her reaction to covering her mouth with a sleeve made me uneasy and I stared down from her face and took in some more of her cleavage.
"I apology," she had said, "but because of the mushrooms you have eatten, when you came into this world you had inherited the power of the spores. What you see on your shoulders are toxic spores that can cause anyone who inhales them to endure a psychodelic trip. It is what we could consider a blood line technique."
"What am I doing here?" I had asked her. The stick she had held whipped under my grainy unshaven chin and steadied my head to her face. She smiled as yielding as wax and rested her head on the back of her limp hand.
"You had already asked that." She had told me. "The effects of your newly acquired technique must have some harmful effect on you as well as others. You should be honoured, Cornel; you are the first person ever to be inserted into another world and have a drawback to your ability. But, you were just kidding yourself with that fanfiction under your pillow."
She threw me a dark navy blue hand that had spun around on the top of my head and twisted down until it was on backwards. I had felt my forehead and a piece of metal was there were the cap adjustment should have been. I pulled my eyes back to hers, and she had an arm held out bloating about her accomplishment. "Wow! How did you know my cap size?"
"Cap size? Didn't you see that throw?" She had yelled. Her manners had calmed down quickly and she continued on. "Anyways, this hat will not only give you protection from your own technique, but also honour you as a temporary hidden leaf genin. Report back to me after you get your picture ID."
That is the best I could recollect at this moment as I sit on the the stool ready to get my picture taken. In the useless struggle to look my best, I had removed by hat to fix my hair. A swarm of green particles surround me and the whole world tilts and turns so that the camera man cannot get a shot of me. In this fast twister, I catch a glimpse of two men in blue long sleeve sweaters and dark green vests who lounge by my side. From what I can recall, the spikey gray haired man with all but one eye hidden is Kakashi, and the one with a bandana covering his brown dry hair was Genma. They grap me at the shoulders and involve me with the spinning of the universe so it appears like nothing is spinning at all. A flash of light emits and I am handed a card.
I awake from my stupor hallucination as Kakashi slaps me on my back. "Thanks for the trip."
Kakashi and Genma stumble off and I look at my ID. My eyes are focused on a gloved hand on my shoulder. The collar of my plad blue shirt is turned up and I'm slanted to one side. I put it in my pocket and head for a gap in the railing around the porch. I find the stairs and head down to the ground. It is a crowded alley with densely compact stores giving off a mixture of fine to strong aromas. The street is filled with rubbish. My stomach gruggles and I head to the nearest store. I push the tapestry over my head, as if it would cause my head harm, and enter the dark cavernous room. I had not decided on where to sit or what to eat when a waitress smoking a cigarette crosses my path and put a bowl of chick peas and an unknown meat paste. I see a small bug struggling to get out. "Ah, there is a bug in the bowl."
"What," she sharply said brandishing a long wooden spoon in her hand, "do you want at as a side order."
I pull the bug out of the bowl and it shurries away from me. The taste of the meal is bland and bitter. A large man with a beard enters and inserts his own puff of smoke into the environment. The waitress uncaringly serves the bowl on the table the closest to her without regard to where Asume may what to sit. He has a cheery smile on his face and I feel the present of someone who is going to talk to me. I desire to sit in silence.
"The new outsider, am I right?" He asks and leans his head back on his folded arms against the wall very close to a piece of dislodged wood only holding on by the ripped wallpaper. "We're going to need the help to fix this village."
"I feel my presense here will be less than adequate to help." I admit. His eyes slowly look over me.
"Yeah," he agrees, "never thought an outsider to be so useless."
It is evening, and I wait outside the 5th hokage's office. People have been rushing in and out of the door. Some of them I know and others I see as expendables. Any time now, it will be my turn to see the Hokage, and recieve my first mission. Having been surrounded by ninjas as young as 6 years old and stronger than me, I feel weak and out of place. Maybe it would be best if I hadn't been inserted in the first place. Whatever. I raise my hat to them. cough, cough.
The End
If you read this, you have gone too far. Read and review, please.
Introduction: The Entry to the Naruto World
By: Cornel Kennedy
Yesterday I had the fortune of meeting a famous Kunoichi from Hidden Leaf Village. I don't know how I had got here except that last thing I remember doing was eatting a bunch of mushrooms that I found in the backwoods of my property. The female ninja had a blue diamond tatoo in the middle of her forehead and two long slim brands of blonde hair that flowed down her green jacket. Of course, Tsunade did not agree that was what I had found in her. She had instantly called me up for staring at her prominent cleavage that she leaned on over her desk that was covered with paperwork. I was shocked but I did not lie. I had told her, "From what I can see of you over your desk, more than half of it is breats."
Throwing her head back, she had laughed loudly and slammed her fist into the desk that caused the room to shake and various scrolls to fall to the ground from their shelves. I had asked her why I was here. As I remember it, she had told me that her village was short on ninjas, and though they customarily discouraged authors from entering their world as a self insertation, she would give me a free pass considering my circumstances. She had commented on my ability to write strategies to overcome the opposition. I could only respond that I had also written the part of the opposition to act the way they did in order from them to lose. She had shook her head in disbelief and told me that this was true, but every fanfiction I had wrote had kept the characters as true as they were to the exception of the fanfiction I kept under my pillow about her. This had stirred her to tighten her face in anger and pick up a long stick from her desk with to hit me over the head. I had rubbed my throbbing head and stopped when what I had thought was danduff fell onto my shoulders. Her reaction to covering her mouth with a sleeve made me uneasy and I stared down from her face and took in some more of her cleavage.
"I apology," she had said, "but because of the mushrooms you have eatten, when you came into this world you had inherited the power of the spores. What you see on your shoulders are toxic spores that can cause anyone who inhales them to endure a psychodelic trip. It is what we could consider a blood line technique."
"What am I doing here?" I had asked her. The stick she had held whipped under my grainy unshaven chin and steadied my head to her face. She smiled as yielding as wax and rested her head on the back of her limp hand.
"You had already asked that." She had told me. "The effects of your newly acquired technique must have some harmful effect on you as well as others. You should be honoured, Cornel; you are the first person ever to be inserted into another world and have a drawback to your ability. But, you were just kidding yourself with that fanfiction under your pillow."
She threw me a dark navy blue hand that had spun around on the top of my head and twisted down until it was on backwards. I had felt my forehead and a piece of metal was there were the cap adjustment should have been. I pulled my eyes back to hers, and she had an arm held out bloating about her accomplishment. "Wow! How did you know my cap size?"
"Cap size? Didn't you see that throw?" She had yelled. Her manners had calmed down quickly and she continued on. "Anyways, this hat will not only give you protection from your own technique, but also honour you as a temporary hidden leaf genin. Report back to me after you get your picture ID."
That is the best I could recollect at this moment as I sit on the the stool ready to get my picture taken. In the useless struggle to look my best, I had removed by hat to fix my hair. A swarm of green particles surround me and the whole world tilts and turns so that the camera man cannot get a shot of me. In this fast twister, I catch a glimpse of two men in blue long sleeve sweaters and dark green vests who lounge by my side. From what I can recall, the spikey gray haired man with all but one eye hidden is Kakashi, and the one with a bandana covering his brown dry hair was Genma. They grap me at the shoulders and involve me with the spinning of the universe so it appears like nothing is spinning at all. A flash of light emits and I am handed a card.
I awake from my stupor hallucination as Kakashi slaps me on my back. "Thanks for the trip."
Kakashi and Genma stumble off and I look at my ID. My eyes are focused on a gloved hand on my shoulder. The collar of my plad blue shirt is turned up and I'm slanted to one side. I put it in my pocket and head for a gap in the railing around the porch. I find the stairs and head down to the ground. It is a crowded alley with densely compact stores giving off a mixture of fine to strong aromas. The street is filled with rubbish. My stomach gruggles and I head to the nearest store. I push the tapestry over my head, as if it would cause my head harm, and enter the dark cavernous room. I had not decided on where to sit or what to eat when a waitress smoking a cigarette crosses my path and put a bowl of chick peas and an unknown meat paste. I see a small bug struggling to get out. "Ah, there is a bug in the bowl."
"What," she sharply said brandishing a long wooden spoon in her hand, "do you want at as a side order."
I pull the bug out of the bowl and it shurries away from me. The taste of the meal is bland and bitter. A large man with a beard enters and inserts his own puff of smoke into the environment. The waitress uncaringly serves the bowl on the table the closest to her without regard to where Asume may what to sit. He has a cheery smile on his face and I feel the present of someone who is going to talk to me. I desire to sit in silence.
"The new outsider, am I right?" He asks and leans his head back on his folded arms against the wall very close to a piece of dislodged wood only holding on by the ripped wallpaper. "We're going to need the help to fix this village."
"I feel my presense here will be less than adequate to help." I admit. His eyes slowly look over me.
"Yeah," he agrees, "never thought an outsider to be so useless."
It is evening, and I wait outside the 5th hokage's office. People have been rushing in and out of the door. Some of them I know and others I see as expendables. Any time now, it will be my turn to see the Hokage, and recieve my first mission. Having been surrounded by ninjas as young as 6 years old and stronger than me, I feel weak and out of place. Maybe it would be best if I hadn't been inserted in the first place. Whatever. I raise my hat to them. cough, cough.
The End
If you read this, you have gone too far. Read and review, please.