Chapter II – The Justice Heroes? What's that?
Gourry's POV.
It felt like a dream, because I was the dream, the dream of the author, I felt like I was alone………I wish someone, anyone was beside me so that they could treat me for lunch… I'm soooooooooooooooo hungry…
After talking nonsense to himself, Gourry finally woke up and saw that he was not in his Zanarkand anymore. He was on top of some sort of underwater ruin, in the middle of nowhere.
Gourry: Anybody here? *silence* Lina? *silence* OII, DRA-MATA!!!!!
Suddenly, Gourry heard something.
Gourry: Hmmm, it sounded like the words Lina used to say be..fore….cas…ting..the…..uh oh…
Lina: DRAGU SLAVE!!!!!!
And everything went dark, again.. When he woke up, again, he realized that now he was in one of the underwater ruins.
Tidus: What happened to that big ugly fish thingy?
Me: What? You mean Geosgaeno? Apparently, it died after being blasted by the Dragu Slave………What are you doing here Tidus?
Tidus: Uh, bye!
Gourry's POV
I felt like I was finally out of the empty non-frying pan that was currently cooking nothing and into the empty freezer. I don't even understand what I was saying but I know one thing. I'm sooooooooooooooo hungry..
Gourry: Brrr, so cold. *saw some twigs* hmmm, all I need is fire.
????: Fireball!
Out of the blue, some unknown idiotic cast just helped Gourry by lighting up the twigs.
Gourry: Ooh, fire! Thanks Lina!
Somewhere, a red haired girl suddenly blushed by the unexpected thanks.
Lina: *flustered* You don't have to write that, you know!
Me :Oh I can do whatever I want!
With the comfort of the warm fire, Gourry unconsciously doze off but was waken up later by his growling stomach.
Gourry: Be quiet. *sigh* If worse comes to worse, I can always find some monsters and eat them…
All: Yuck!
As if his prayers have been answered, a fiend suddenly ambushed him so queue the battle song.
All: Ten-ten-ten-ten-tententen~
Me: I don't understand….
Gourry: Woah, food!!!!!
And the two beings started to wrestle with each other until the one of the ruin's wall suddenly exploded revealing a blonde- uh, I mean a raven haired girl with her loyal subjects. But, they were too late because Gourry had already eaten the fiend.
All: Again yuck!!!
Amelia: Stand aside petty human for the heroes of justice have-uh, Gourry-san, what are you doing…..?
Gourry: Nibbling.
Loyal subject 1: *points at Gourry* This foul being must be one of those evil doers!
Gourry: Ha?
Loyal subjects 2: Let us crucify him, for it is the justice way.
Gourry: Eh?
Amelia: No. What if this homosapien is one of us? We can't risk crucify one of our ally.
Gourry was stunned as he had no idea what those people were babbling about and if that's not any worse, he was kicked again by the groin by Amelia.
Gourry: No…..not……again……*goes unconscious*
Amelia: Oh, L-sama, I have sinned.
So after our hero was dragged back to Amelia's ship, we found our hero sprawling on the deck.
Gourry: *groan* Oh…what the hell happened?
As he was just about to make his escape he saw Amelia and a weird looking guy walking towards him.
Black Fox: *in spell casting pose* Uweet, ewet, huyoh, wowzah.
Gourry: Hei, aren't you that Black Fox dude in the Slayers Medieval Mayhem manga? H-ha? What the hell are you saying?
Black Fox: Hmm, are the justice's words too foreign to his eardrum?
And thus the weird man made those funny sounds again.
Black Fox: *still in spell casting pose* Keweet, Hooliyah, Ole.
Gourry: Oi, just speak in plain English will you!
Random subject: Blackened heart man!! *kicked Gourry*
Gourry: H-Hei!!
Amelia: He said that if you don't want to strip dancing for them for the rest of your life, you have to work.
Gourry: Y-You understand me?
Amelia: Everyone understands the English language but they're tiny brains won't let them use it.
Gourry: Are they're brains made of yogurt as well?
Amelia: Uh, no. They're made of porn atoms and molecules.
All: ???
Zel: Amelia, don't tell me you're OOC also!
Amelia: *sniff* Zelgadis-san…..I-I have no choice….This is so injustice…..
Zel: Much better.
Gourry: So, I have to do some stupid chores so that I won't be 'abuse' by these freaks?
Amelia: Uh-uh.
Gourry: Okay, but I thought that all of your subjects were into the justice stuff? What happened to their righteous personalities?
Amelia: 'It' died long ago after they were forced into this fic.
Gourry: *changing subject* So what's this 'work' that I have to do?
Amelia: You have to practice your justice speech with me ^^
And so Amelia dragged Gourry to the highest part of the ship to practice their speech.
Amelia: Oh, I never did actually introduce myself. I'm Amelia a Justice Hero.
Gourry: The name's Gourry. I'm the star player of the Zanarkand Abes!
Amelia: *shocked* Did you hit your head or something?
Gourry: Well, you did kick my groin…
Amelia: Oh, sorry about that. It's just that we don't trust any people who is not one of the Justice Hero. We are hated everywhere in Spira.
Gourry: Really? That's too bad. But, why? And what's a Justice Hero?
Amelia: The Justice Heroes are the people that spread the way of the justice to all of Spirians. But, the people of Spira hated us for our creations.
Gourry: Uh, creations?
Amelia: Our speechina.
Gourry: Uh, speechina?
Amelia: You know, those machine that spread justice speeches?
Gourry: Sorry, not a clue….
Amelia: …umm, may ask you something? Did you encounter a giant blob before?
Gourry: You mean Sin? Yeah, that freak destroyed my Zanarkand!!
Amelia: Aah, you must have been poisoned by Sin's gas. It is the sickening gas that Sin produce to brainwash people. You must have sniffed it before. Because the city of Zanarkand has been destroyed 1000 years ago.
Gourry: Are you saying that I've been brainwashed!? That's just crazy, I saw Zanarkand being destroyed by Sin!! 1000 years ago!? You're MAD!! CRAZY!!!
Amelia: It's okay coz I am mad and the gas'll make your head all confusing like, but don't worry coz I'll take you to Luca and find a witchdoctor to cure you. And in the mean time, don't tell people that you're from Zanarkand because it is a sacred place to our Mother of All Creation, L-sama. People'll get mad if you did. Enough of this pointless conversation, let us practice our speech now! …….Wow, that was a lot of lines….
Gourry: *mumbles* I think making a speech is even more pointless……….
Behind scene-
Lina: Here Zel. *hands him an mp3 player* Let us not listen to their heart wrenching speech, shall we?
Zel: Thanks, I owe you one. *puts headphone*
Xellos: And I'll just go away now….very far away…..
And both of them listened to their mp3 players in maximum volume.
Amelia: Follow me, Gourry-san! Life is wonderful! By the power of Barney's justice, Sinny shall not prevail for the big blob always loses to the fist of Justice which is the source of all which is good and Sinny is not good so he is the opposite of good which is bad and badness is Sinny!!! For the power of the purple dinosaur shall defeat you!!
Gourry: Uh, could you repeat that. I got lost somewhere between the source of all good and badness is Sinny…
Unfortunately, Amelia didn't have the time to repeat her confusing speech as the big blob came crashing their boat.
Sin: Didn't I told you NOT to call me SINNY!!!!! AAAAAARRGGHH! Feel my wrath!
It was an unpleasant sight as the justice heroes were mutilated by the big slimy gunk. And somehow, Gourry managed to escape but then, he got drown.
Time passed and Gourry's lifeless form can be seen floating in the ocean near the village of Besaid.
Me: *points to the unconscious body* Okay, who wants to give Gourry CPR? Lina?
Lina: *blushed* W-What!? W-W-Why s-should I?
Nahga: I'll do it then.
All: YOU!?
Lina: Oh no, you DON'T!!
Gourry was dying fast but the stupid casts kept on bickering. Lina was arguing with Nahga something about Gourry being her property while the others didn't want to ruin their first kiss by CPRing Gourry.
Me: Why don't you do it Zel. You've been kissed by a guy before so what's the different?
Zel: It's not like I want him to kiss me and beside I thought he was Amelia!! ………uh-oh…*blush*
Amelia: *blush* Zelgadis-san….
Lina: Hehehe.. Zelly, you old sly dog….
Zel: F-forget I said that!!!!
Me: Hmph, excuses! Fine I'll do it then!
Lina: Hehehe….huh? NO!
Me: Zel, please contain Lina.
Zel: *still blushing* Uh, sure.. *grabs Lina*
And so I went closer to Gourry's floating body. Every now and then I could hear Lina threatening Zel to let her go or else. But, I didn't care, did I ^^
Me: Let me show you the professional way! Here I come, Gourry-sama ^^
Lina: *gasp* NONONONNONONONONONONONONONONONOOOO!!!!
-To Be Continue-
Me: Yosh! Another chapter finish!
Lina: NONONONONONONONOOOO!!!
Me: Uh, you can stop yelling 'NO' no, Lina……
Lina: I can't believe this!!!! You can't kiss Gourry!!! You have no right!!!!
Me: And I guess you do?
Lina: *blush* N-No! But I AM that jellyfish's owner so I know what's right for him!!!
Me: Oh, and your lips on his is right for him?
Lina: *blushing harder* W-What!!!!
Zel: That's enough you two!!!! Ahem, thanks for reading and please review……
Amelia: Why does Yumekage-sama loves to tease Lina-san……
Xellos: Sore wa himitsu desu! Finally, I got the chance to speak!!
Gourry: ………………………………………………….