Fanfic Title: An act of bravery
Summary of chapter: It's CJ's first day back at work and the press have quite a few questions to ask her about her relationship with Simon.
Disclaimer: All the characters from The West Wing and the story where this fanfic starts from belong to Aaron Sorkin, John Wells and NBC.
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CJ got to work early the next morning. She had hardly got any sleep the night before and she'd given up trying at 5am. As she entered the White House at 6.30am everything was quiet, the only people who were there were security staff and cleaners. CJ made her way to her office and threw her bag and coat onto her sofa. She sat behind the desk and wondered how she'd get through the day. Her eyes felt so heavy and soar from crying the night before and having no sleep, yet she'd done her best with make up to disguise the bags under her eyes. She placed her head in her hands and closed her eyes, trying to reduce the pain.
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"CJ!"
CJ quickly jumped up. She stared around her office in confusion and then saw Carol standing at her side.
"Sorry CJ, but Leo wants to talk to you in his office."
"What? What time is it?" CJ looked at her watch. "Wait that can't be right. 8am. But I only got here a few minutes ago." CJ sat sharing at the wall. It felt like she'd only been sitting at her desk for a couple of minutes but in reality it had been an hour and a half.
"CJ you were asleep when I arrive at 7."
"Why didn't you wake me?" CJ said angrily.
"You looked peaceful and I didn't want to disturb you." Carol thought she was doing the right thing. It wasn't like CJ to fall asleep at her desk but after what she'd been through Carol really felt that she could do with the sleep.
CJ stood up angrily and said "Next time wake me!" As she left the room Carol stood frozen to the spot with worry. It wasn't like CJ to shout at her for something like this.
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Leo was answering emails when Margaret came into his office to say CJ was here to see her.
"Send her on."
As CJ walked in Leo gestured to her to sit on his sofa and he sat down on the chair next to the sofa.
"CJ I called you in, well, to prepare you for today."
"What do you mean?" CJ wasn't totally sure what Leo was getting at. Did he still think she was incapable of doing her job and in need of help?
"Yesterday Sam got a lot of questions about Simon's death. The press know he was your agent and wanted to know what happened." Leo paused and picked up the newspaper on the coffee table next to him. Passing the newspaper to CJ he said "I don't know if you've had a chance to read the papers today but Simon's story is in all of them."
CJ grabbed the newspaper and stared at it for a while. She had no idea the press would be this interested in what had happened. Yes an agent being killed was serious but in the past they usually weren't covered in a lot of detail, only if it happened in a high profile event.
Leo realised CJ was in shock. "If you want I can ask Sam to do the briefings today."
"No its fine, I'll do them" CJ responded without taking her eyes away from the paper.
"No one will think any worse of you by not doing the briefing."
"I can do it Leo."
"Ok then. Here is a transcript of the briefings Sam did yesterday. It might help you know what the press has been told and what they haven't." CJ put the newspaper down and received the transcript from Leo.
"Ok." As she stood up and left his office CJ wondered where she should have asked for Sam to do the briefing. She was worried about the questions that might be asked and how the press would perceive her. She needed to prepare herself; it was going to be tough.
As CJ left, Leo wondered if he'd done the right thing. Was she really ready to deal with the press? She'd told him she was ok, but what worried Leo was what she hadn't told him. CJ could be very reserved when she wanted to be and Leo knew that she had to let her feelings out and talk about it if she was ever going to deal with what had happened.
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CJ sat at her desk reading the transcript of the press briefings from the previous day. Somehow as she read about the incident she felt so cold. Her skin was pale and sweaty. She found it hard to take in the words describing what had happened. Tears began to fall down her face. She'd never realised how brave he was. He'd walked into an armed robbery and done his duty, yet he was the one who'd got punished for it. She knew he wouldn't have been scared, he'd dealt with worse situations than a robbery before. Yet CJ couldn't help but think about the pain he must have gone through and how he must have felt when those bullets hit him. She could hardly carry on reading as tears streamed down her face. She felt so pathetic, she was the one still alive and she bet he hadn't cried. She wished she was as brave as him. But she needed to be brave to get through this. She had possibly the worse press briefing she'd ever have to give next and she didn't know if she could get through it.
She grabbed a tissue from her pocket and began to wipe the tears away. He had to get ready mentally and physically. It wasn't going to be easy but if she put it off today then it would still be there tomorrow and the same questions would be waiting for her.
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It was a couple of minutes before 10am and the senior White House staffers were sat by their televisions waiting for the press briefing. Sam was in Toby's office with Josh and Leo was working at his desk with the television on in front of him.
"Are we sure she can do this?" Josh said uneasily. "She didn't look too good this morning and the press can sense when something's wrong."
"Give her a chance Josh," Sam sensed he hadn't persuaded everyone that CJ was ok.
Toby just sat there. As far as he was concerned putting CJ before the press so soon was a big mistake.
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As CJ walked into the briefing room cameras flashed and the noise of the White House press core quietened down. She was used to this but it didn't help her nerves. She made her way to the podium and put her paper's down. She felt everyone staring at her, a lot more than usual and she gripped the podium tighter than usual to steady herself.
"Ok I have a few announcements first and then you'll have a chance to ask questions." CJ spoke calmly and hearing the steadiness of her voice out loud gave her confidence.
"CJ before you start can I ask ..."
Before the reporter could finish CJ interrupted. "There isn't much to report so let me getting that out of the way first and you'll have the chance to ask the questions you're all eager to ask." The press and even CJ were surprised at how calm she sounded. As she read out the announcements she had, she started to feel more confident. She wasn't as nervous and managed to let go of the podium.
"Ok now for questions. Katy." The press could sense the confidence in her voice.
"Yesterday it was reported that Special Agent Simon Donovan had been killed. He was your agent until a couple of hours before his death. Do you have a comment on what happened?"
This was the questions CJ was dreading yet she knew it was coming so had prepared for it.
"Yes, Special Agent Donovan was assigned to me. He was a talented agent and he will be greatly missed. My heart goes out to his family and friends at this difficult time for them." CJ kept her cool. She tried not to show too much emotion, speaking of him like she didn't know him well but well enough to know he was a good guy. "Bill."
Sorry CJ but..." Katy interrupted. "I have a follow up question." CJ stared at her for a while and then said "Ok."
"CJ, how do you feel personally about Special Agent Donovan's death, having known him?"
CJ felt her heart sink into her chest. No one knew how much she was hurting right now about his death but she couldn't show her emotion, especially not to the White House press core. "I knew Special Agent Donovan for about a month. I was shocked about his death, he was a fine agent, and I feel for his family and friends right now." As she finished the sentence she looked down at her podium. She needed a second to compose herself before she continued.
"Yes Bill." CJ said lifting her head up and pointing at the reporter.
"When were you told about Special Agent Donovan's death and how did you react to the news?" CJ's heart sank furtherer into her chest as she relived Ron telling her what had happened.
"Ronald Butterfield told me what happened." CJ didn't want to think about her reaction. She had reacted badly yet she didn't want the press to know this. "Mike."
"Sorry CJ but you didn't answer the second part of my question. How did you react to the news?"
CJ really didn't want to answer the question and things were starting to get to her now. "I was shocked and upset about the news as anyone would be. Mike"
The press could sense CJ's frustration at the questioning, but even though they admired her they weren't going to stop asking.
"Was your reaction to the news that your agent had been killed the reason you haven't been doing your duties until now?" Mike's question really angered CJ. How dare they ask her such intrusive questions?
"Special Agent Donovan was no longer my agent when he died."
"But was the fact that you were upset about his death the reason Sam Seaborn briefed us yesterday?" CJ could feel the eyes of everyone in the room on her. Of course that was the reason, yet could she admit it? Dare she admit? She looked down at the podium at her notes to give her chance to decide on an answer.
"No, that was not the reason." She had lied, well technically not. The reason she hadn't briefed them was she wasn't allowed to. "Anne."
"I have a source that says that you and Special Agent Donvan were having a relationship, is this true?" The entire press core looked at Anne and then to CJ. CJ stood in shock. What source was this? Who would say that? Ok they had liked each other but had never had the chance to even develop a relationship.
"No, that is not true. Special Agent Donovan was my agent and I was his protectee, that was it." CJ could feel the blood in her body boiling. Yes the press had the right to ask questions but these questions? How could they think just personal questions could have any benefit to the public.
Anne continued. "Are you sure? My source is pretty sure there was something going on between you two."
These words hit CJ hard. "I am sure. Maybe you should question the reliability of your source." CJ's voice was no longer calm and she could tell everyone had noticed.
"Ok that's it for now, see you at the afternoon briefing." CJ quickly exited the briefing room. The press left behind started to talk amongst themselves. Was there any truth to what Anne had said?
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"Well I think she handled herself extremely well." Sam said to Toby and Josh as they walked CJ exit the briefing room on the television.
"What do you think all that was about with Anne saying there was something going on between them? Do you think it was true?" Josh asked. He seemed as confused as the press in the briefing room.
"No. There couldn't have been. They didn't get on, she hated him being around her." Sam replied, looking as confused as Josh.
"She hated the protection. But for the past week it seemed they were getting on very well."
"Well yes, but I thought that was because she was getting used to her protection, not that they were seeing each other. Come on this is CJ. She hasn't had a relationship in years. She's totally professional and so was he."
Toby hadn't spoken since the press briefing had finished. "Toby what do you think" Sam asked.
"I don't know." He thought he knew CJ well. He knew that CJ was professional, yet part of him wasn't sure if there was some small strand of truth in what Anne had said. He knew how upset CJ was when he found her in Time Square and wondered if she had some feelings for Simon. He was worried for her. CJ had questioned the reliability of Anne's source and as a result challenged Anne to provide evidence of their relationship. He knew Anne would rise to the challenge, any reporter would and he feared that she may well find evidence.
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It had been a few hours since CJ's morning briefing, yet the time had flown by. She had spent the last few hours catching up on reading yet she'd hardly been able to concentrate. What had happened at the briefing kept going round in her head. She was angry at the questions asked yet worse of all was what Anne had said. Part of her was worried that there was evidence of her and Simon. The only evidence she could think of was someone may have caught them sharing a kiss outside the theatre the night of the shooting as there was a lot of press around. CJ knew that this was after he was no longer her agent yet she knew that's not how the press would see it. Yet she knew there was nothing she could do now. She had to prepare for her afternoon briefing.
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Toby waited at Margaret desk for her to return from Leo's office.
"He can see you know" Margaret said as she held open the door to Leo's office.
Toby made his way in and Margaret closed the door behind him.
"Is that the report I asked for?" Leo asked as he gestured to the file held in Toby's hand. Toby had forgotten he was even holding it. He had a lot on his mind right now.
"Thanks." Leo said as Toby passed him the file. "CJ did ok in the briefing. She started to let it get away from her at the end but all in all she handled it very well."
"Yes" was all Toby could respond with.
"I suppose you heard Anne's remarks?" Toby nodded. "I can't believe she said that. Like CJ would do something like that."
Toby was a little shocked Leo had rejected Anne's comments so easily without even questioning them. Yet Toby didn't want to show Leo his concerns. He wasn't entirely sure if he did actually believe Anne, even slightly. He didn't want Leo to sense that he didn't entirely trust CJ so he left Leo's office promptly.
As Toby made his way back to his office he wondered if he should speak to CJ. He was worried about her yet he didn't want her to realise that he didn't completely trust her right now. He decided not to say anything and see what happened in the afternoon briefing.
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It was 15minutes before the afternoon briefing and CJ was starting to feel very nervous. She hadn't spoken to the press since the morning briefing and had no idea what they would ask. She decided to switch her computer on and check her emails to take her mind off things for a minute. As she glanced down her inbox she noticed a very familiar email address, she had an email from Danny. With a smiled she opened and read the email.
"Hi CJ, I heard about what happened to your agent and I'm deeply sorry. I know it will have hit you hard. I saw your press briefing and I just wanted to say how well you handled yourself. It can't have been easy for you and I bet you're hating most reporters right now, but don't let them get to you. They're trying to make you the story and don't give them the satisfaction. From what I've heard no one thinks there is any truth in Anne's allegations anyway. I have no need to tell you how many reporters disrespect her for the many allegations she's made against the White House in her career, none of which have been proved correct. Anyway I have to go now, I have a game of cricket to play. I never realised how much people in Bermuda liked the game! I'll write again soon. Take care of yourself CJ, Love, Danny"
It wasn't until she'd finished reading the email that she realised a tear had dripped down her face to the bottom of her chin. From what Danny had said no one within the press believed what Anne had said, to CJ's relief. His email had given her confidence. She looked at her watch and realised it was time to get everything together to take with her to the briefing room. As she switched her computer and gathered her notes together she checked in the mirror to make sure no one would be able to tell she'd been crying and then made her way out of her office.
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CJ entered the briefing room with more confidence than in the morning. Danny's email had given her hope that maybe the press would stop asking questions about Simon's death.
"I have a few announcements to make and then I'll take a couple of questions" CJ said as she stood behind the podium. She read through the announcements in the same manner as she had done in the morning, and slowly she grew in confidence.
"Ok time for questions, Katy."
"I have spoken to someone at the Federal Bank who said there is feeling there that the interest rate is too high and are causing considerable problems for the economy. Is the President worried about the rate of interest and if so what does he plan to do?"
CJ was shocked by Katy's question. She thought she'd receive more questions about what had happened to Simon for the entire briefing. Yet no, within a few hours everything had changed.
"Yes the President is aware of the feelings of some economic analysers that the interest rate is too high and it will be on the agenda at the meeting the president has with his economic advisors next weeks."
The briefing carried on in the same manner. There were no more questions about Simon's death. There was only follow up questions to her announcements and that was it. As she grew in confidence she looked round the press room to see if Anne was there but she wasn't. Part of CJ wanted her there to see if she had found any evidence about her allegations yet the other part of her was just glad that things seemed to be getting back to normal.
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When CJ got back to her office Ron was inside. As she walked in she started to worry about what he was there for. She wondered if he came to tell her that they'd arrested the wrong person and in fact there was still someone trying to kill her. But then it struck her, had he seen the morning press briefing? Anne had made a serious allegation that one of his agents had had a relationship with his protectee and she knew it was against the rules.
CJ entered and managed to say "Hi Ron."
He could sense that she was worried and decided to get straight to the point. "CJ I just came to tell you that Simon's funeral has been arranged for Friday at 1pm. Well I thought you'd like to know." These words hit CJ hard. It had never crossed her mind that he may be there to tell her the funeral arrangements.
"Ok thanks." She turned away from him to try and find her emotions by putting something in her coat pocket.
Ron didn't know how to bring this up but felt he had to. "CJ I saw the briefing this morning and well I just wanted to say we had to investigate the allegation the reporter made."
CJ turned round quickly to face Ron. "What?" CJ couldn't believe what she's heard. "What she said is not true Ron."
"I believe you CJ, its just we have to investigate any allegation made against one of our agents and well her newspaper has asked for a statement from us."
CJ looked away and said "Ok then."
"CJ I'm sorry but I have to ask you this. Did you and Special Agent Simon Donovan have a personal relationship whilst he was your agent?"
His words hit CJ hard but she knew they hadn't done anything wrong. "No we didn't."
"Ok then, I won't waste anymore of your time." As he started to leave her office Ron turned round and said "I hope to see you at the funeral. You did well today by the way." He smiled and left.
CJ made her way to her desk and sat on her chair. Maybe Anne's allegations weren't over. She sat there for a while thinking. It had been a long hard day and her lack of sleep was finally catching up with her. She had hardly spoken to any of the senior White House staff all day and wondered what they were thinking. Did they believe the allegations?
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There was a knock at CJ's door.
"Come in." She shouted. As she looked up from the papers she was reading she was surprised to see Sam walking in.
"Hi CJ. I just thought I'd come round and see how you're doing. I haven't spoken to you all day and well I wanted to say how well you handled yourself today." Sam smiled at CJ.
"Thanks Sam." CJ replied putting the papers she was reading down on her desk.
"Everyone thinks you did well today."
"OK." CJ wasn't sure how to reply. Had they expected her to mess up?
"Anyway I'll leave you to it." Sam promptly left as he got the impression she wanted to be left on her own.
She knew Sam had come round to compliment her but as far as she was concerned he hadn't. She was insulted that they thought she wouldn't be able to handle the press. As she thought over the days events, part of her just wondered if she was overreacting to what Sam had said. She knew he just meant well but it didn't stop her thinking that some people still thought she shouldn't be working.
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It was about 9pm before CJ left the White House. Sam was the only one out of the senior White House staff that had come to see her after the press briefings. This played on her mind a bit. Part of her wondered if they were avoiding her or if they just thought she wanted to be on her own.
"CJ" shouted a familiar voice.
As she turned round she was shocked to see Toby running behind her, trying to catch up with her.
"Hi Toby." She waited for him to catch up to her and then said "Is everything ok?"
"Yes I just thought I'd walk with you for a bit." Part of CJ wasn't sure if she believed him. They didn't live near each other and he'd never walked home with her before.
"Sorry I haven't been round to see you today. I've been in meetings all day, but Sam said he'd called round."
"Yes he did." CJ replied. She wasn't totally sure if the true reason for Toby not coming round was due to meetings or that he couldn't face her.
"The press gave you a tough time this morning."
"Yes but I handled it, to the surprise of many I presume." CJ wasn't sure why she said it. She didn't really want to make an issue out of the fact she felt no one trusted her. Yet from what she'd heard it seemed that it was Toby who was the one trying to sideline her.
Toby was shocked by CJ's comments. "No one wanted you to do badly today CJ."
"But that's what you were all thinking would happen."
"No it's not. Why would you think such a thing?"
"The lack of trust you all showed me yesterday, the fact you all seem surprised that I didn't leave the briefing room in tears this morning, would you like me to go on?"
"You've got it all wrong. We were just looking out for you." Toby sensed CJ was angry and in particularly with him.
"But you don't need to. I'm fine."
"As you keep saying, but CJ are you really fine?"
CJ didn't answer. She wasn't sure why as she'd got used to saying the words "I'm fine" for the last couple of days.
"CJ I'm worried about you. Everyone thinks you're coping with Simon's death well but I don't think you're coping at all."
All CJ could do was stand there staring at Toby. He was right yet she couldn't admit it.
"Simon's death has hit you hard and I think there's more to it than everyone thinks."
"What do you mean by that Toby? Don't tell me you believe Anne?" CJ was angry. How could Toby believe a reporter over her?
"Hey I never said that" Toby replied, grabbing CJ's hand, trying to show her he was her friend. "I meant maybe you had developed a stronger relationship with Simon than any of us had realised."
CJ didn't answer yet pulled her hand away from his. He was right but it went a lot further than just friendship. Both CJ and Simon had wanted more than friendship yet hadn't been given the chance.
"Anyway I have to go this way" Toby said as he pointed in the opposite direction to where CJ was heading. "CJ please come and talk to me if you need to. I'm always here and talking may help."
"I will. Anyway I better get going. Bye." She turned away from Toby and carried on walking down the street.
Toby stood for a while staring at her. He was now convinced that there had been more than friendship between CJ and Simon. As he walked home all he could think about was what if Anne found evidence for her allegations? CJ meant a lot to him and he had to look out for her, as he wasn't sure if she was capable of looking out for herself right now.
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When CJ entered her apartment she sat down on her sofa. She thought through the events of the day. She'd been sat there sixteen hours earlier, dreading going to work, but she'd got through it. The prospect of work tomorrow didn't seem as bad. Yet Anne's allegations swirled around her head. She knew there was no truth in them. They had never been given chance to see each other. Yet she knew how the press could twist things. She feared for what Anne may say in her report the next day. Yet what Toby had said on the way home had also troubled her. She got the impression he didn't believe that there was nothing going on between her and Simon. CJ's eyes started to close and her tiredness had finally caught up with her. She got ready for bed and got straight off to sleep for the first time in three nights.
Summary of chapter: It's CJ's first day back at work and the press have quite a few questions to ask her about her relationship with Simon.
Disclaimer: All the characters from The West Wing and the story where this fanfic starts from belong to Aaron Sorkin, John Wells and NBC.
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CJ got to work early the next morning. She had hardly got any sleep the night before and she'd given up trying at 5am. As she entered the White House at 6.30am everything was quiet, the only people who were there were security staff and cleaners. CJ made her way to her office and threw her bag and coat onto her sofa. She sat behind the desk and wondered how she'd get through the day. Her eyes felt so heavy and soar from crying the night before and having no sleep, yet she'd done her best with make up to disguise the bags under her eyes. She placed her head in her hands and closed her eyes, trying to reduce the pain.
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"CJ!"
CJ quickly jumped up. She stared around her office in confusion and then saw Carol standing at her side.
"Sorry CJ, but Leo wants to talk to you in his office."
"What? What time is it?" CJ looked at her watch. "Wait that can't be right. 8am. But I only got here a few minutes ago." CJ sat sharing at the wall. It felt like she'd only been sitting at her desk for a couple of minutes but in reality it had been an hour and a half.
"CJ you were asleep when I arrive at 7."
"Why didn't you wake me?" CJ said angrily.
"You looked peaceful and I didn't want to disturb you." Carol thought she was doing the right thing. It wasn't like CJ to fall asleep at her desk but after what she'd been through Carol really felt that she could do with the sleep.
CJ stood up angrily and said "Next time wake me!" As she left the room Carol stood frozen to the spot with worry. It wasn't like CJ to shout at her for something like this.
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Leo was answering emails when Margaret came into his office to say CJ was here to see her.
"Send her on."
As CJ walked in Leo gestured to her to sit on his sofa and he sat down on the chair next to the sofa.
"CJ I called you in, well, to prepare you for today."
"What do you mean?" CJ wasn't totally sure what Leo was getting at. Did he still think she was incapable of doing her job and in need of help?
"Yesterday Sam got a lot of questions about Simon's death. The press know he was your agent and wanted to know what happened." Leo paused and picked up the newspaper on the coffee table next to him. Passing the newspaper to CJ he said "I don't know if you've had a chance to read the papers today but Simon's story is in all of them."
CJ grabbed the newspaper and stared at it for a while. She had no idea the press would be this interested in what had happened. Yes an agent being killed was serious but in the past they usually weren't covered in a lot of detail, only if it happened in a high profile event.
Leo realised CJ was in shock. "If you want I can ask Sam to do the briefings today."
"No its fine, I'll do them" CJ responded without taking her eyes away from the paper.
"No one will think any worse of you by not doing the briefing."
"I can do it Leo."
"Ok then. Here is a transcript of the briefings Sam did yesterday. It might help you know what the press has been told and what they haven't." CJ put the newspaper down and received the transcript from Leo.
"Ok." As she stood up and left his office CJ wondered where she should have asked for Sam to do the briefing. She was worried about the questions that might be asked and how the press would perceive her. She needed to prepare herself; it was going to be tough.
As CJ left, Leo wondered if he'd done the right thing. Was she really ready to deal with the press? She'd told him she was ok, but what worried Leo was what she hadn't told him. CJ could be very reserved when she wanted to be and Leo knew that she had to let her feelings out and talk about it if she was ever going to deal with what had happened.
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CJ sat at her desk reading the transcript of the press briefings from the previous day. Somehow as she read about the incident she felt so cold. Her skin was pale and sweaty. She found it hard to take in the words describing what had happened. Tears began to fall down her face. She'd never realised how brave he was. He'd walked into an armed robbery and done his duty, yet he was the one who'd got punished for it. She knew he wouldn't have been scared, he'd dealt with worse situations than a robbery before. Yet CJ couldn't help but think about the pain he must have gone through and how he must have felt when those bullets hit him. She could hardly carry on reading as tears streamed down her face. She felt so pathetic, she was the one still alive and she bet he hadn't cried. She wished she was as brave as him. But she needed to be brave to get through this. She had possibly the worse press briefing she'd ever have to give next and she didn't know if she could get through it.
She grabbed a tissue from her pocket and began to wipe the tears away. He had to get ready mentally and physically. It wasn't going to be easy but if she put it off today then it would still be there tomorrow and the same questions would be waiting for her.
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It was a couple of minutes before 10am and the senior White House staffers were sat by their televisions waiting for the press briefing. Sam was in Toby's office with Josh and Leo was working at his desk with the television on in front of him.
"Are we sure she can do this?" Josh said uneasily. "She didn't look too good this morning and the press can sense when something's wrong."
"Give her a chance Josh," Sam sensed he hadn't persuaded everyone that CJ was ok.
Toby just sat there. As far as he was concerned putting CJ before the press so soon was a big mistake.
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As CJ walked into the briefing room cameras flashed and the noise of the White House press core quietened down. She was used to this but it didn't help her nerves. She made her way to the podium and put her paper's down. She felt everyone staring at her, a lot more than usual and she gripped the podium tighter than usual to steady herself.
"Ok I have a few announcements first and then you'll have a chance to ask questions." CJ spoke calmly and hearing the steadiness of her voice out loud gave her confidence.
"CJ before you start can I ask ..."
Before the reporter could finish CJ interrupted. "There isn't much to report so let me getting that out of the way first and you'll have the chance to ask the questions you're all eager to ask." The press and even CJ were surprised at how calm she sounded. As she read out the announcements she had, she started to feel more confident. She wasn't as nervous and managed to let go of the podium.
"Ok now for questions. Katy." The press could sense the confidence in her voice.
"Yesterday it was reported that Special Agent Simon Donovan had been killed. He was your agent until a couple of hours before his death. Do you have a comment on what happened?"
This was the questions CJ was dreading yet she knew it was coming so had prepared for it.
"Yes, Special Agent Donovan was assigned to me. He was a talented agent and he will be greatly missed. My heart goes out to his family and friends at this difficult time for them." CJ kept her cool. She tried not to show too much emotion, speaking of him like she didn't know him well but well enough to know he was a good guy. "Bill."
Sorry CJ but..." Katy interrupted. "I have a follow up question." CJ stared at her for a while and then said "Ok."
"CJ, how do you feel personally about Special Agent Donovan's death, having known him?"
CJ felt her heart sink into her chest. No one knew how much she was hurting right now about his death but she couldn't show her emotion, especially not to the White House press core. "I knew Special Agent Donovan for about a month. I was shocked about his death, he was a fine agent, and I feel for his family and friends right now." As she finished the sentence she looked down at her podium. She needed a second to compose herself before she continued.
"Yes Bill." CJ said lifting her head up and pointing at the reporter.
"When were you told about Special Agent Donovan's death and how did you react to the news?" CJ's heart sank furtherer into her chest as she relived Ron telling her what had happened.
"Ronald Butterfield told me what happened." CJ didn't want to think about her reaction. She had reacted badly yet she didn't want the press to know this. "Mike."
"Sorry CJ but you didn't answer the second part of my question. How did you react to the news?"
CJ really didn't want to answer the question and things were starting to get to her now. "I was shocked and upset about the news as anyone would be. Mike"
The press could sense CJ's frustration at the questioning, but even though they admired her they weren't going to stop asking.
"Was your reaction to the news that your agent had been killed the reason you haven't been doing your duties until now?" Mike's question really angered CJ. How dare they ask her such intrusive questions?
"Special Agent Donovan was no longer my agent when he died."
"But was the fact that you were upset about his death the reason Sam Seaborn briefed us yesterday?" CJ could feel the eyes of everyone in the room on her. Of course that was the reason, yet could she admit it? Dare she admit? She looked down at the podium at her notes to give her chance to decide on an answer.
"No, that was not the reason." She had lied, well technically not. The reason she hadn't briefed them was she wasn't allowed to. "Anne."
"I have a source that says that you and Special Agent Donvan were having a relationship, is this true?" The entire press core looked at Anne and then to CJ. CJ stood in shock. What source was this? Who would say that? Ok they had liked each other but had never had the chance to even develop a relationship.
"No, that is not true. Special Agent Donovan was my agent and I was his protectee, that was it." CJ could feel the blood in her body boiling. Yes the press had the right to ask questions but these questions? How could they think just personal questions could have any benefit to the public.
Anne continued. "Are you sure? My source is pretty sure there was something going on between you two."
These words hit CJ hard. "I am sure. Maybe you should question the reliability of your source." CJ's voice was no longer calm and she could tell everyone had noticed.
"Ok that's it for now, see you at the afternoon briefing." CJ quickly exited the briefing room. The press left behind started to talk amongst themselves. Was there any truth to what Anne had said?
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"Well I think she handled herself extremely well." Sam said to Toby and Josh as they walked CJ exit the briefing room on the television.
"What do you think all that was about with Anne saying there was something going on between them? Do you think it was true?" Josh asked. He seemed as confused as the press in the briefing room.
"No. There couldn't have been. They didn't get on, she hated him being around her." Sam replied, looking as confused as Josh.
"She hated the protection. But for the past week it seemed they were getting on very well."
"Well yes, but I thought that was because she was getting used to her protection, not that they were seeing each other. Come on this is CJ. She hasn't had a relationship in years. She's totally professional and so was he."
Toby hadn't spoken since the press briefing had finished. "Toby what do you think" Sam asked.
"I don't know." He thought he knew CJ well. He knew that CJ was professional, yet part of him wasn't sure if there was some small strand of truth in what Anne had said. He knew how upset CJ was when he found her in Time Square and wondered if she had some feelings for Simon. He was worried for her. CJ had questioned the reliability of Anne's source and as a result challenged Anne to provide evidence of their relationship. He knew Anne would rise to the challenge, any reporter would and he feared that she may well find evidence.
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It had been a few hours since CJ's morning briefing, yet the time had flown by. She had spent the last few hours catching up on reading yet she'd hardly been able to concentrate. What had happened at the briefing kept going round in her head. She was angry at the questions asked yet worse of all was what Anne had said. Part of her was worried that there was evidence of her and Simon. The only evidence she could think of was someone may have caught them sharing a kiss outside the theatre the night of the shooting as there was a lot of press around. CJ knew that this was after he was no longer her agent yet she knew that's not how the press would see it. Yet she knew there was nothing she could do now. She had to prepare for her afternoon briefing.
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Toby waited at Margaret desk for her to return from Leo's office.
"He can see you know" Margaret said as she held open the door to Leo's office.
Toby made his way in and Margaret closed the door behind him.
"Is that the report I asked for?" Leo asked as he gestured to the file held in Toby's hand. Toby had forgotten he was even holding it. He had a lot on his mind right now.
"Thanks." Leo said as Toby passed him the file. "CJ did ok in the briefing. She started to let it get away from her at the end but all in all she handled it very well."
"Yes" was all Toby could respond with.
"I suppose you heard Anne's remarks?" Toby nodded. "I can't believe she said that. Like CJ would do something like that."
Toby was a little shocked Leo had rejected Anne's comments so easily without even questioning them. Yet Toby didn't want to show Leo his concerns. He wasn't entirely sure if he did actually believe Anne, even slightly. He didn't want Leo to sense that he didn't entirely trust CJ so he left Leo's office promptly.
As Toby made his way back to his office he wondered if he should speak to CJ. He was worried about her yet he didn't want her to realise that he didn't completely trust her right now. He decided not to say anything and see what happened in the afternoon briefing.
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It was 15minutes before the afternoon briefing and CJ was starting to feel very nervous. She hadn't spoken to the press since the morning briefing and had no idea what they would ask. She decided to switch her computer on and check her emails to take her mind off things for a minute. As she glanced down her inbox she noticed a very familiar email address, she had an email from Danny. With a smiled she opened and read the email.
"Hi CJ, I heard about what happened to your agent and I'm deeply sorry. I know it will have hit you hard. I saw your press briefing and I just wanted to say how well you handled yourself. It can't have been easy for you and I bet you're hating most reporters right now, but don't let them get to you. They're trying to make you the story and don't give them the satisfaction. From what I've heard no one thinks there is any truth in Anne's allegations anyway. I have no need to tell you how many reporters disrespect her for the many allegations she's made against the White House in her career, none of which have been proved correct. Anyway I have to go now, I have a game of cricket to play. I never realised how much people in Bermuda liked the game! I'll write again soon. Take care of yourself CJ, Love, Danny"
It wasn't until she'd finished reading the email that she realised a tear had dripped down her face to the bottom of her chin. From what Danny had said no one within the press believed what Anne had said, to CJ's relief. His email had given her confidence. She looked at her watch and realised it was time to get everything together to take with her to the briefing room. As she switched her computer and gathered her notes together she checked in the mirror to make sure no one would be able to tell she'd been crying and then made her way out of her office.
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CJ entered the briefing room with more confidence than in the morning. Danny's email had given her hope that maybe the press would stop asking questions about Simon's death.
"I have a few announcements to make and then I'll take a couple of questions" CJ said as she stood behind the podium. She read through the announcements in the same manner as she had done in the morning, and slowly she grew in confidence.
"Ok time for questions, Katy."
"I have spoken to someone at the Federal Bank who said there is feeling there that the interest rate is too high and are causing considerable problems for the economy. Is the President worried about the rate of interest and if so what does he plan to do?"
CJ was shocked by Katy's question. She thought she'd receive more questions about what had happened to Simon for the entire briefing. Yet no, within a few hours everything had changed.
"Yes the President is aware of the feelings of some economic analysers that the interest rate is too high and it will be on the agenda at the meeting the president has with his economic advisors next weeks."
The briefing carried on in the same manner. There were no more questions about Simon's death. There was only follow up questions to her announcements and that was it. As she grew in confidence she looked round the press room to see if Anne was there but she wasn't. Part of CJ wanted her there to see if she had found any evidence about her allegations yet the other part of her was just glad that things seemed to be getting back to normal.
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When CJ got back to her office Ron was inside. As she walked in she started to worry about what he was there for. She wondered if he came to tell her that they'd arrested the wrong person and in fact there was still someone trying to kill her. But then it struck her, had he seen the morning press briefing? Anne had made a serious allegation that one of his agents had had a relationship with his protectee and she knew it was against the rules.
CJ entered and managed to say "Hi Ron."
He could sense that she was worried and decided to get straight to the point. "CJ I just came to tell you that Simon's funeral has been arranged for Friday at 1pm. Well I thought you'd like to know." These words hit CJ hard. It had never crossed her mind that he may be there to tell her the funeral arrangements.
"Ok thanks." She turned away from him to try and find her emotions by putting something in her coat pocket.
Ron didn't know how to bring this up but felt he had to. "CJ I saw the briefing this morning and well I just wanted to say we had to investigate the allegation the reporter made."
CJ turned round quickly to face Ron. "What?" CJ couldn't believe what she's heard. "What she said is not true Ron."
"I believe you CJ, its just we have to investigate any allegation made against one of our agents and well her newspaper has asked for a statement from us."
CJ looked away and said "Ok then."
"CJ I'm sorry but I have to ask you this. Did you and Special Agent Simon Donovan have a personal relationship whilst he was your agent?"
His words hit CJ hard but she knew they hadn't done anything wrong. "No we didn't."
"Ok then, I won't waste anymore of your time." As he started to leave her office Ron turned round and said "I hope to see you at the funeral. You did well today by the way." He smiled and left.
CJ made her way to her desk and sat on her chair. Maybe Anne's allegations weren't over. She sat there for a while thinking. It had been a long hard day and her lack of sleep was finally catching up with her. She had hardly spoken to any of the senior White House staff all day and wondered what they were thinking. Did they believe the allegations?
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There was a knock at CJ's door.
"Come in." She shouted. As she looked up from the papers she was reading she was surprised to see Sam walking in.
"Hi CJ. I just thought I'd come round and see how you're doing. I haven't spoken to you all day and well I wanted to say how well you handled yourself today." Sam smiled at CJ.
"Thanks Sam." CJ replied putting the papers she was reading down on her desk.
"Everyone thinks you did well today."
"OK." CJ wasn't sure how to reply. Had they expected her to mess up?
"Anyway I'll leave you to it." Sam promptly left as he got the impression she wanted to be left on her own.
She knew Sam had come round to compliment her but as far as she was concerned he hadn't. She was insulted that they thought she wouldn't be able to handle the press. As she thought over the days events, part of her just wondered if she was overreacting to what Sam had said. She knew he just meant well but it didn't stop her thinking that some people still thought she shouldn't be working.
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It was about 9pm before CJ left the White House. Sam was the only one out of the senior White House staff that had come to see her after the press briefings. This played on her mind a bit. Part of her wondered if they were avoiding her or if they just thought she wanted to be on her own.
"CJ" shouted a familiar voice.
As she turned round she was shocked to see Toby running behind her, trying to catch up with her.
"Hi Toby." She waited for him to catch up to her and then said "Is everything ok?"
"Yes I just thought I'd walk with you for a bit." Part of CJ wasn't sure if she believed him. They didn't live near each other and he'd never walked home with her before.
"Sorry I haven't been round to see you today. I've been in meetings all day, but Sam said he'd called round."
"Yes he did." CJ replied. She wasn't totally sure if the true reason for Toby not coming round was due to meetings or that he couldn't face her.
"The press gave you a tough time this morning."
"Yes but I handled it, to the surprise of many I presume." CJ wasn't sure why she said it. She didn't really want to make an issue out of the fact she felt no one trusted her. Yet from what she'd heard it seemed that it was Toby who was the one trying to sideline her.
Toby was shocked by CJ's comments. "No one wanted you to do badly today CJ."
"But that's what you were all thinking would happen."
"No it's not. Why would you think such a thing?"
"The lack of trust you all showed me yesterday, the fact you all seem surprised that I didn't leave the briefing room in tears this morning, would you like me to go on?"
"You've got it all wrong. We were just looking out for you." Toby sensed CJ was angry and in particularly with him.
"But you don't need to. I'm fine."
"As you keep saying, but CJ are you really fine?"
CJ didn't answer. She wasn't sure why as she'd got used to saying the words "I'm fine" for the last couple of days.
"CJ I'm worried about you. Everyone thinks you're coping with Simon's death well but I don't think you're coping at all."
All CJ could do was stand there staring at Toby. He was right yet she couldn't admit it.
"Simon's death has hit you hard and I think there's more to it than everyone thinks."
"What do you mean by that Toby? Don't tell me you believe Anne?" CJ was angry. How could Toby believe a reporter over her?
"Hey I never said that" Toby replied, grabbing CJ's hand, trying to show her he was her friend. "I meant maybe you had developed a stronger relationship with Simon than any of us had realised."
CJ didn't answer yet pulled her hand away from his. He was right but it went a lot further than just friendship. Both CJ and Simon had wanted more than friendship yet hadn't been given the chance.
"Anyway I have to go this way" Toby said as he pointed in the opposite direction to where CJ was heading. "CJ please come and talk to me if you need to. I'm always here and talking may help."
"I will. Anyway I better get going. Bye." She turned away from Toby and carried on walking down the street.
Toby stood for a while staring at her. He was now convinced that there had been more than friendship between CJ and Simon. As he walked home all he could think about was what if Anne found evidence for her allegations? CJ meant a lot to him and he had to look out for her, as he wasn't sure if she was capable of looking out for herself right now.
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When CJ entered her apartment she sat down on her sofa. She thought through the events of the day. She'd been sat there sixteen hours earlier, dreading going to work, but she'd got through it. The prospect of work tomorrow didn't seem as bad. Yet Anne's allegations swirled around her head. She knew there was no truth in them. They had never been given chance to see each other. Yet she knew how the press could twist things. She feared for what Anne may say in her report the next day. Yet what Toby had said on the way home had also troubled her. She got the impression he didn't believe that there was nothing going on between her and Simon. CJ's eyes started to close and her tiredness had finally caught up with her. She got ready for bed and got straight off to sleep for the first time in three nights.