Fanfic Title: An act of bravery
Summary of chapter: People are worried about CJ and the more they try, the further away CJ seems to go. But will she finally admit she needs help in order to help someone else?
Disclaimer: All the characters from The West Wing and the story where this fanfic starts from belong to Aaron Sorkin, John Wells and NBC.
I'm so sorry it took me so long to update. I'm pretty busy at the moment and won't be able to update as regularly for a while. Take care :)
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CJ awoke the next morning with a blinding headache. She made her way to the kitchen to find some painkillers. She put the cold water tap on and went to switch the TV on. As we filled a glass with water and took two painkillers she watched the morning news. At first she didn't really concentrate on what the reporters were talking about, but then she saw a picture of herself dressed in black. She noticed it was of her at the funeral yesterday. In the picture she was stood talking to Mrs Donovan. She turned the volume up to hear the report.
"St Michaels Church was packed with family and friends of Special Agent Simon Donovan, including White House press secretary Claude Jean Cregg. Special Agent Donovan was assigned to protect Miss Cregg until just before his death, after she received death threats. He is described as having been an exceptional agent and will be sadly missed by family and friends."
CJ switched the tv off. She could no longer watch it. Seeing his face on the screen made her so upset. She hadn't even realised that there had been any press at the funeral. She then wondered what other pictures the press had of her. Would anyone have pictures of her with Toby after the funeral when she was crying? She sat for a while thinking. She had her head in her hands and her headache was pounding. She finally got up and made her way to the bathroom to get ready.
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As CJ made her way into the West Wing passed security she looked at her watch. She realised she was a lot later than usual and had a senior staff meeting in a couple of minutes.
She quickly made her way into her office and put her belongings down.
"CJ, I've been looking for you. Margaret phoned half an hour ago to say senior staffers meeting has been brought forward." Said Carol as she made her way into CJ's office.
"What?! Why didn't anyone try to phone me and tell me?!"
"I tried but your mobile was off, I paged you a few times and there was no answer on your home phone."
CJ realised she hadn't bothered to turn her mobile or pager on this morning and she'd taken longer than usual to walk into work. "Ok I better get going." CJ quickly picked up a pad and pen and made her way to Leo's office.
CJ knocked on Leo's door.
"Come in." Leo shouted.
CJ opened the door and walked in. She saw Josh and Sam stood up in front of Leo, who was sat at his desk
"Sorry Leo I'm late."
"That's ok. Toby said you might not be in today, so we started without you."
"Ok." CJ was shocked that Toby had said she might not be in. How dare he? She didn't need him making excuses for her. Yesterday she was upset, understandably. But she was fine today. Then it suddenly dawned on her Toby wasn't there. "Where's Toby?"
"He had a meeting this morning, a last minute thing" Josh replied.
CJ wasn't sure if Josh was telling the whole truth. He looked a bit agitated about answering the question and so did Sam for that matter. But CJ brushed her concern away, if it was important they would have told her, they usually did. In a way she was relieved Toby wasn't there, she was kind of embarrassed by how she had reacted yesterday in front of him and didn't want to have to answer questions about her feelings for Simon right now.
"Anyway we are about done here" Leo said. "Sam could you fill CJ in for me?"
"Yes sure." Sam smiled at CJ.
"Ok then." Sam, Josh and CJ made there way out of Leo's office.
Josh was met by Donna. "Hey Josh. Mr Ross phoned for you while you were in with Leo, he said to ring him back when you're free."
Josh let out a sigh. "I was meant to phone him back yesterday. Donna could you get him back on the phone now."
"Yes sure."
"I'll see you both later" Josh said to Sam and CJ, and then followed Donna back to his office.
CJ continued to follow Sam to his office. When they entered, they both sat down.
"So anyway CJ how are you? Toby said you were a bit upset yesterday."
"I'm fine." CJ was shocked by what Sam said, what exactly had Toby being saying about her? "I don't know what Toby told you, but I was ok yesterday, just a bit tired."
"He just said you were a little upset, which is understandable CJ, Simon's death has hit everyone hard." Sam was worried CJ was thinking that everyone had been talking about her behind her back.
"And you think Simon's death has hit me harder than anyone else?" She felt like Sam was implying that she wasn't dealing with his death well.
"No not at all CJ, I'm just worried about you, that's all."
"Well I don't need you to worried about me Sam, I'm fine." CJ was angry. What had Toby told him about yesterday?
Sam could sense how angry CJ was. This wasn't like her, she usual kept her cool. Her behaviour just fuelled Sam's worry yet he didn't feel it was the right time to take his questioning any further, well not until Toby got back.
Sam apologised and CJ calmed down. He then filled her in on the meeting. CJ hardly spoke, she just wanted to know what she needed to know and then get back to her office. As Sam finished, she thanked him and promptly left. Sam sat there for a while thinking about CJ's behaviour. She wasn't herself and he was so concerned about her, but he wasn't sure what to do.
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CJ made her way into the briefing room. It was full at usual.
"Hi Guys. I only have a few announcements so I'll get through them all and take a couple of questions afterwards."
CJ went through all the announcements and then took a couple of questions. It took a while for CJ to realise Anne was in the room with her hand up. CJ wondered if to allow her to ask her question, but she realised she'd have to answer her sooner or later.
"Yes, Anne." As CJ pointed to Anne, she looked down at the notes on her podium and then looked her in the eyes.
"Yesterday you were pictured at the funeral of Special Agent Donovan. Why were you there?"
"I went to pay my respects. Michael."
"Sorry but I have a follow up question. Witnesses yesterday say they saw you crying during the funeral, was this due to your feeling for Special Agent Donovan which you have denied up to now?
"No I wasn't crying, your witnesses must be mistaken. Michael."
"Wait, I haven't finished. CJ, why did you go to the funeral if you didn't have feelings for him?"
"I went to the funeral to pay respect to an agent that I was lucky enough to know. Anne it may be hard for you to believe but Mr Donovan was my agent and I was his protectee, that was it. Michael."
Michael hesitated before asking his question, he half expected Anne to ask another follow up question, but she didn't. Anne stayed quiet.
During the rest of the press briefing Anne's questions played on her mind. She'd lied to Anne. Of course she had been crying but she couldn't admit it to the press of all people.
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The afternoon briefing went a lot better than the morning's. CJ saw Anne's hand up and pointed to her out of curiosity. Yet to CJ's amazement Anne asked a question with regards to the US Budget rather than Simon. CJ didn't answer for a few seconds out of shock. Was this the end of Anne's allegations?
As CJ walked out of the briefing room at the end, Anne caught up with her.
"CJ can I have a word with you?"
"Sure, come to my office."
When they were inside, CJ closed the door and walked over to Anne.
"What can I do for you?"
"My editor has spoken to me and told me to apologise for my actions over the last week. I'm sorry for the allegations I made against you and any pain they may have caused you, you won't hear of them again."
CJ wasn't sure if Anne really meant her apology. She was sure it was really her editor who had told her to apologise, but why? Her editor didn't normally have any issues with printing her ridiculous stories in the past, why should now be any different?
"Well thanks for your apology." Anne nodded and left promptly.
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There was a knock at CJ's door.
"Hi Josh, what's up?"
Josh didn't look his cheerful self as he walk in. "I wondered if I could have a chat with you?"
"This seems serious! Sure, have a seat." CJ pointed to her sofa and Josh sat down.
"I haven't had a chance to speak to you since you got back and see how you are doing?"
"I'm fine Josh, why does everyone keeps asking me this questions?!" CJ thought that by now people would have stopped asking her if she was ok. She didn't seem to understand why people were so concerned about her.
"Because people are worried about you CJ. You haven't been acting your usual self for the past week."
"Well sorry for not being as cheerful as you" CJ said sarcastically.
"You're not handling Simon's death well, everyone can see it."
"I'm handling it fine. What would you know about it anyway."
"A hell of a lot more than you think." Josh paused for a second. "When I was shot I didn't deal with what had happened well. I thought I could handle it myself, but I couldn't CJ. It hurt so much inside, I didn't know what was happening to me. I needed help CJ, I didn't want to admitted but I needed someone to help me through it."
CJ didn't rely. She was thinking over what Josh had said. She remembered what Josh was like the Christmas before last. He was on edge all the time, lashing out at people, and he'd even shouted at the President. She could remember how worried she was about Josh at the time and it made her realise how people must be feeling about her right now. She had only been looking at it from her point of view. She had to admit that she hadn't been herself and given what had happened she couldn't blame her colleagues for being worried about her.
"Josh, I – I don't know what to say."
Josh looked down at his hands. "CJ at the time people asked if I was ok and I replied as you do, 'I'm fine', but I knew I wasn't." CJ turned away from him and looked out of the window. Josh got up and stood behind her. "At the time I thought that talking wouldn't help, how could it change what had happened? But after Leo forced me to talk to someone I realise everyone had been right and talking was the answer." Josh put his hand on CJ's shoulder. "It's clear to me that you need help and I think you realise it to."
"Josh I'm fine." CJ still couldn't look at him.
"No CJ you're not and you know you're not. I think deep down you realise that you need help. Come on CJ you can't keep it bottled up forever."
CJ turned round to face Josh. He hadn't realised that she had been crying. "Oh CJ come here." He put his arms around her to give her a friendly hug. He held her for a couple of seconds and then CJ moved away from him.
"Thanks Josh." CJ smiled at him and dried the tear from her eyes.
Josh pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to CJ. "This is the number of the chancellor I saw last year. CJ try him, he's good."
CJ didn't answer as she accepted the piece of paper. She looked at it for a bit and then looked back at Josh.
"CJ give him a try. I know it's hard at the beginning, admitting you need help, but once you've done that, it gets easier, trust me."
CJ looked at the piece of paper again and then said "Ok."
Josh smiled at her. "I should go, Donna is probably looking for me. CJ if you need to talk to a friend or need anything, I'm always here for you."
"Thanks." As CJ smiled back at Josh, he left.
She sat down at her desk and stared for a moment at the phone number and name on the piece of paper. Did she really need to call him? She was feeling a lot better and with Anne dropping her allegations, she thought things could finally get back to normal. But the pain was still there and she wondered if it would ever go. She didn't want to forget Simon but she wanted the pain to go away. She thought about what Josh had said and realised she needed to talk to someone. As she reached for the phone it began to ring.
"Hello, CJ Cregg."
"Oh hello, it's Mrs Donovan here. I wondered if I could talk to you?" As soon as the lady spoke CJ recognised the voice from Simon's funeral.
"Yes of course."
"At Simon's funeral you asked me whether there was anything that I needed help with, and well, Oh I'm sorry, you are probably very busy at the moment."
"No it's ok, what is it you need from me?" CJ said sincerely.
"It's Simon's brother Anthony, I'm worried about him. He's not dealing Simon's death well and he won't talk to me. The rest of the family are still too upset and think he just needs time, but Miss Cregg I think it's more than that."
"I met him once, Simon brought him to the White House. He seemed a good kid."
"He is, but since Simon's death he's been so distance and never around. I got a phone call from the police last night to say they had picked him up for vandalism. They let him off due to the circumstances but I'm worried it will get worse. Miss Cregg I wondered if you'd talk to him."
"Mrs Donovan, I'm not sure if I'm the best person to talk to him. I hardly know him."
"There is no one else. I tried his teachers but he doesn't trust them and I don't think he'd talk to them anyway. When Anthony came home after meeting you, I couldn't shut him up. He kept talking about the White House and you, I think he looked up to you Miss Cregg. Please, just try and have a talk with him."
CJ thought over what Mrs Donovan had said. She sounded so worried about him and CJ knew how much Anthony meant to Simon. CJ knew that Simon would want her to at least have a try. "Ok Mrs Donovan, ask him to come and see me tomorrow at 4pm."
"Oh thank you Miss Cregg."
"That's ok. Take care now."
CJ put the phone down and put her head into her hands. In a way she was flattered that Mrs Donovan had asked her, yet she was worried about Anthony's reaction. CJ knew Anthony didn't want Simon to go to New York and that the reason he went was because of her. CJ was worried Anthony would blame her.
CJ started to look for a report on her desk she needed to read for a meeting. She then spotted the piece of paper on her desk Josh had given her. She stared at it again for a while and then reached the phone, if she was to try and help Anthony she had to let people help her too.
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As CJ left the West Wing to go home she saw Toby entering.
"Are you just coming back from you meeting now?" CJ still hadn't been told who Toby had been meeting but she couldn't understand why he was only returning now.
"No, it was this morning but I had a few other places I had to go after." Toby seemed to be a bit secretive. It wasn't like him not to elaborate on where he had been.
"Anyway I'm off home now, see you tomorrow." CJ turned to walk away from him but heard Toby shouting after her.
"CJ wait a minute. I haven't had chance to talk to since I left you at your apartment yesterday. How are you?"
Not this question again! "I'm fine and don't worry Sam and Josh have made up for you!" CJ stared around for a minute and then turned back to him. "Toby forget about what happened yesterday, I was upset and said some things, that well, you should just forget, ok."
"No CJ, I can't just forget it. You admitted you had feelings for Simon and even if you can't realise it yourself, his death has affected you badly. You need help."
"Toby I don't need you to interfere in my life. I'm fine."
CJ turned and walked away from Toby. She was so angry. She wished so much she hadn't broken down in front of him. She wondered whether she should have told him she'd made an appointment with a councillor to get him to leave her alone. But then she thought, why did she have to tell him everything? This was nothing to do with him and she didn't need his help.
Summary of chapter: People are worried about CJ and the more they try, the further away CJ seems to go. But will she finally admit she needs help in order to help someone else?
Disclaimer: All the characters from The West Wing and the story where this fanfic starts from belong to Aaron Sorkin, John Wells and NBC.
I'm so sorry it took me so long to update. I'm pretty busy at the moment and won't be able to update as regularly for a while. Take care :)
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CJ awoke the next morning with a blinding headache. She made her way to the kitchen to find some painkillers. She put the cold water tap on and went to switch the TV on. As we filled a glass with water and took two painkillers she watched the morning news. At first she didn't really concentrate on what the reporters were talking about, but then she saw a picture of herself dressed in black. She noticed it was of her at the funeral yesterday. In the picture she was stood talking to Mrs Donovan. She turned the volume up to hear the report.
"St Michaels Church was packed with family and friends of Special Agent Simon Donovan, including White House press secretary Claude Jean Cregg. Special Agent Donovan was assigned to protect Miss Cregg until just before his death, after she received death threats. He is described as having been an exceptional agent and will be sadly missed by family and friends."
CJ switched the tv off. She could no longer watch it. Seeing his face on the screen made her so upset. She hadn't even realised that there had been any press at the funeral. She then wondered what other pictures the press had of her. Would anyone have pictures of her with Toby after the funeral when she was crying? She sat for a while thinking. She had her head in her hands and her headache was pounding. She finally got up and made her way to the bathroom to get ready.
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As CJ made her way into the West Wing passed security she looked at her watch. She realised she was a lot later than usual and had a senior staff meeting in a couple of minutes.
She quickly made her way into her office and put her belongings down.
"CJ, I've been looking for you. Margaret phoned half an hour ago to say senior staffers meeting has been brought forward." Said Carol as she made her way into CJ's office.
"What?! Why didn't anyone try to phone me and tell me?!"
"I tried but your mobile was off, I paged you a few times and there was no answer on your home phone."
CJ realised she hadn't bothered to turn her mobile or pager on this morning and she'd taken longer than usual to walk into work. "Ok I better get going." CJ quickly picked up a pad and pen and made her way to Leo's office.
CJ knocked on Leo's door.
"Come in." Leo shouted.
CJ opened the door and walked in. She saw Josh and Sam stood up in front of Leo, who was sat at his desk
"Sorry Leo I'm late."
"That's ok. Toby said you might not be in today, so we started without you."
"Ok." CJ was shocked that Toby had said she might not be in. How dare he? She didn't need him making excuses for her. Yesterday she was upset, understandably. But she was fine today. Then it suddenly dawned on her Toby wasn't there. "Where's Toby?"
"He had a meeting this morning, a last minute thing" Josh replied.
CJ wasn't sure if Josh was telling the whole truth. He looked a bit agitated about answering the question and so did Sam for that matter. But CJ brushed her concern away, if it was important they would have told her, they usually did. In a way she was relieved Toby wasn't there, she was kind of embarrassed by how she had reacted yesterday in front of him and didn't want to have to answer questions about her feelings for Simon right now.
"Anyway we are about done here" Leo said. "Sam could you fill CJ in for me?"
"Yes sure." Sam smiled at CJ.
"Ok then." Sam, Josh and CJ made there way out of Leo's office.
Josh was met by Donna. "Hey Josh. Mr Ross phoned for you while you were in with Leo, he said to ring him back when you're free."
Josh let out a sigh. "I was meant to phone him back yesterday. Donna could you get him back on the phone now."
"Yes sure."
"I'll see you both later" Josh said to Sam and CJ, and then followed Donna back to his office.
CJ continued to follow Sam to his office. When they entered, they both sat down.
"So anyway CJ how are you? Toby said you were a bit upset yesterday."
"I'm fine." CJ was shocked by what Sam said, what exactly had Toby being saying about her? "I don't know what Toby told you, but I was ok yesterday, just a bit tired."
"He just said you were a little upset, which is understandable CJ, Simon's death has hit everyone hard." Sam was worried CJ was thinking that everyone had been talking about her behind her back.
"And you think Simon's death has hit me harder than anyone else?" She felt like Sam was implying that she wasn't dealing with his death well.
"No not at all CJ, I'm just worried about you, that's all."
"Well I don't need you to worried about me Sam, I'm fine." CJ was angry. What had Toby told him about yesterday?
Sam could sense how angry CJ was. This wasn't like her, she usual kept her cool. Her behaviour just fuelled Sam's worry yet he didn't feel it was the right time to take his questioning any further, well not until Toby got back.
Sam apologised and CJ calmed down. He then filled her in on the meeting. CJ hardly spoke, she just wanted to know what she needed to know and then get back to her office. As Sam finished, she thanked him and promptly left. Sam sat there for a while thinking about CJ's behaviour. She wasn't herself and he was so concerned about her, but he wasn't sure what to do.
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CJ made her way into the briefing room. It was full at usual.
"Hi Guys. I only have a few announcements so I'll get through them all and take a couple of questions afterwards."
CJ went through all the announcements and then took a couple of questions. It took a while for CJ to realise Anne was in the room with her hand up. CJ wondered if to allow her to ask her question, but she realised she'd have to answer her sooner or later.
"Yes, Anne." As CJ pointed to Anne, she looked down at the notes on her podium and then looked her in the eyes.
"Yesterday you were pictured at the funeral of Special Agent Donovan. Why were you there?"
"I went to pay my respects. Michael."
"Sorry but I have a follow up question. Witnesses yesterday say they saw you crying during the funeral, was this due to your feeling for Special Agent Donovan which you have denied up to now?
"No I wasn't crying, your witnesses must be mistaken. Michael."
"Wait, I haven't finished. CJ, why did you go to the funeral if you didn't have feelings for him?"
"I went to the funeral to pay respect to an agent that I was lucky enough to know. Anne it may be hard for you to believe but Mr Donovan was my agent and I was his protectee, that was it. Michael."
Michael hesitated before asking his question, he half expected Anne to ask another follow up question, but she didn't. Anne stayed quiet.
During the rest of the press briefing Anne's questions played on her mind. She'd lied to Anne. Of course she had been crying but she couldn't admit it to the press of all people.
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The afternoon briefing went a lot better than the morning's. CJ saw Anne's hand up and pointed to her out of curiosity. Yet to CJ's amazement Anne asked a question with regards to the US Budget rather than Simon. CJ didn't answer for a few seconds out of shock. Was this the end of Anne's allegations?
As CJ walked out of the briefing room at the end, Anne caught up with her.
"CJ can I have a word with you?"
"Sure, come to my office."
When they were inside, CJ closed the door and walked over to Anne.
"What can I do for you?"
"My editor has spoken to me and told me to apologise for my actions over the last week. I'm sorry for the allegations I made against you and any pain they may have caused you, you won't hear of them again."
CJ wasn't sure if Anne really meant her apology. She was sure it was really her editor who had told her to apologise, but why? Her editor didn't normally have any issues with printing her ridiculous stories in the past, why should now be any different?
"Well thanks for your apology." Anne nodded and left promptly.
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There was a knock at CJ's door.
"Hi Josh, what's up?"
Josh didn't look his cheerful self as he walk in. "I wondered if I could have a chat with you?"
"This seems serious! Sure, have a seat." CJ pointed to her sofa and Josh sat down.
"I haven't had a chance to speak to you since you got back and see how you are doing?"
"I'm fine Josh, why does everyone keeps asking me this questions?!" CJ thought that by now people would have stopped asking her if she was ok. She didn't seem to understand why people were so concerned about her.
"Because people are worried about you CJ. You haven't been acting your usual self for the past week."
"Well sorry for not being as cheerful as you" CJ said sarcastically.
"You're not handling Simon's death well, everyone can see it."
"I'm handling it fine. What would you know about it anyway."
"A hell of a lot more than you think." Josh paused for a second. "When I was shot I didn't deal with what had happened well. I thought I could handle it myself, but I couldn't CJ. It hurt so much inside, I didn't know what was happening to me. I needed help CJ, I didn't want to admitted but I needed someone to help me through it."
CJ didn't rely. She was thinking over what Josh had said. She remembered what Josh was like the Christmas before last. He was on edge all the time, lashing out at people, and he'd even shouted at the President. She could remember how worried she was about Josh at the time and it made her realise how people must be feeling about her right now. She had only been looking at it from her point of view. She had to admit that she hadn't been herself and given what had happened she couldn't blame her colleagues for being worried about her.
"Josh, I – I don't know what to say."
Josh looked down at his hands. "CJ at the time people asked if I was ok and I replied as you do, 'I'm fine', but I knew I wasn't." CJ turned away from him and looked out of the window. Josh got up and stood behind her. "At the time I thought that talking wouldn't help, how could it change what had happened? But after Leo forced me to talk to someone I realise everyone had been right and talking was the answer." Josh put his hand on CJ's shoulder. "It's clear to me that you need help and I think you realise it to."
"Josh I'm fine." CJ still couldn't look at him.
"No CJ you're not and you know you're not. I think deep down you realise that you need help. Come on CJ you can't keep it bottled up forever."
CJ turned round to face Josh. He hadn't realised that she had been crying. "Oh CJ come here." He put his arms around her to give her a friendly hug. He held her for a couple of seconds and then CJ moved away from him.
"Thanks Josh." CJ smiled at him and dried the tear from her eyes.
Josh pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to CJ. "This is the number of the chancellor I saw last year. CJ try him, he's good."
CJ didn't answer as she accepted the piece of paper. She looked at it for a bit and then looked back at Josh.
"CJ give him a try. I know it's hard at the beginning, admitting you need help, but once you've done that, it gets easier, trust me."
CJ looked at the piece of paper again and then said "Ok."
Josh smiled at her. "I should go, Donna is probably looking for me. CJ if you need to talk to a friend or need anything, I'm always here for you."
"Thanks." As CJ smiled back at Josh, he left.
She sat down at her desk and stared for a moment at the phone number and name on the piece of paper. Did she really need to call him? She was feeling a lot better and with Anne dropping her allegations, she thought things could finally get back to normal. But the pain was still there and she wondered if it would ever go. She didn't want to forget Simon but she wanted the pain to go away. She thought about what Josh had said and realised she needed to talk to someone. As she reached for the phone it began to ring.
"Hello, CJ Cregg."
"Oh hello, it's Mrs Donovan here. I wondered if I could talk to you?" As soon as the lady spoke CJ recognised the voice from Simon's funeral.
"Yes of course."
"At Simon's funeral you asked me whether there was anything that I needed help with, and well, Oh I'm sorry, you are probably very busy at the moment."
"No it's ok, what is it you need from me?" CJ said sincerely.
"It's Simon's brother Anthony, I'm worried about him. He's not dealing Simon's death well and he won't talk to me. The rest of the family are still too upset and think he just needs time, but Miss Cregg I think it's more than that."
"I met him once, Simon brought him to the White House. He seemed a good kid."
"He is, but since Simon's death he's been so distance and never around. I got a phone call from the police last night to say they had picked him up for vandalism. They let him off due to the circumstances but I'm worried it will get worse. Miss Cregg I wondered if you'd talk to him."
"Mrs Donovan, I'm not sure if I'm the best person to talk to him. I hardly know him."
"There is no one else. I tried his teachers but he doesn't trust them and I don't think he'd talk to them anyway. When Anthony came home after meeting you, I couldn't shut him up. He kept talking about the White House and you, I think he looked up to you Miss Cregg. Please, just try and have a talk with him."
CJ thought over what Mrs Donovan had said. She sounded so worried about him and CJ knew how much Anthony meant to Simon. CJ knew that Simon would want her to at least have a try. "Ok Mrs Donovan, ask him to come and see me tomorrow at 4pm."
"Oh thank you Miss Cregg."
"That's ok. Take care now."
CJ put the phone down and put her head into her hands. In a way she was flattered that Mrs Donovan had asked her, yet she was worried about Anthony's reaction. CJ knew Anthony didn't want Simon to go to New York and that the reason he went was because of her. CJ was worried Anthony would blame her.
CJ started to look for a report on her desk she needed to read for a meeting. She then spotted the piece of paper on her desk Josh had given her. She stared at it again for a while and then reached the phone, if she was to try and help Anthony she had to let people help her too.
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As CJ left the West Wing to go home she saw Toby entering.
"Are you just coming back from you meeting now?" CJ still hadn't been told who Toby had been meeting but she couldn't understand why he was only returning now.
"No, it was this morning but I had a few other places I had to go after." Toby seemed to be a bit secretive. It wasn't like him not to elaborate on where he had been.
"Anyway I'm off home now, see you tomorrow." CJ turned to walk away from him but heard Toby shouting after her.
"CJ wait a minute. I haven't had chance to talk to since I left you at your apartment yesterday. How are you?"
Not this question again! "I'm fine and don't worry Sam and Josh have made up for you!" CJ stared around for a minute and then turned back to him. "Toby forget about what happened yesterday, I was upset and said some things, that well, you should just forget, ok."
"No CJ, I can't just forget it. You admitted you had feelings for Simon and even if you can't realise it yourself, his death has affected you badly. You need help."
"Toby I don't need you to interfere in my life. I'm fine."
CJ turned and walked away from Toby. She was so angry. She wished so much she hadn't broken down in front of him. She wondered whether she should have told him she'd made an appointment with a councillor to get him to leave her alone. But then she thought, why did she have to tell him everything? This was nothing to do with him and she didn't need his help.