THE BURROW!
(Here we see the flying ford truck land next to a huge misshapen barn)
Harry: *swept over by nausea* "Is that-?"
Ron: Yup. This is our house!
Harry: My god! You guys are so POOR! I mean, look at your house, it's just so POOR!!
(Harry starts running in the opposite direction only to be brutally beaten by one of the Weasley's garden gnomes and drug back)
Fred: Come now Harry, let us go inside and indulge ourselves upon the crafted goods made by thy evil cryptic womb!
George: Yeah let's swipe some grub mom made before she sees we've been gone
(The four boys walk inside)
Ron: It's not much but-
(Harry takes a whiff of the poverty stricken home and then vomits in a sink)
Bookies: "Wait. when was.?"
Harry: "No.*cough* . I *hiccup* think its Brilliant!"
Mrs. Weasley: Hello! I want to feed you yes I will feed after I give my sons some verbal abuse and threats
Gina: "Mumsey have you seen my cat?
Mrs. Weasley: "Yes dear it's on you jumpa"
(Gina Sees Harry, slaps him then runs back upstairs)
Bookies: Huh?!
Harry: What the hell was that?!
Ron: Gina, shes been talking mad crap about you all summer. pretty funny really.
(Harry shoots Ron a dirty look mouthing something under his breath)
(Mr. Weasley appears at the door and immediately starts complaining about his job and miserable home life)
Mr. Weasley: "Hello *to Harry* who the hell are you?"
Harry: "Name's Potter sir. HARRY Potter" *points to disfigurement on forehead*
Mr. Weasley: "Good lord! Are you? Is that EYE makeup you're wearing??"
"ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"
Mrs. Weasley: Oh that will be the mail!
(Suddenly there is a loud crash and a large dirty pig is seen lying limp outside the front door)
Harry: Er. You have a cow?
Ron: *ignoring Harry* "Oh no! I am surprised! Everything is expensive AGAIN this year and we are still poor! How are we EVER going to be able to afford all this?!"
(The rest of the Wesley's look at Fred and as if they all shared a secret Fred sadly nodded and put on a wig)
Harry: "Do not worry for I am rich"
Rest of group: "Hooray!"
Mrs. Weasley: "Well there's only place we can get this stuff! -DIAGON ALLEY!!"
All the Weasleys: "YEAH! Poo Power!!!"
(Out back of the Burrow)
Harry: What's that smell?!
Ron: *cheerfully* "THAT Harry is the poo power!"
(They all group around a large hole in the ground filled with an unknown sewage)
Columbus: "What the-What happened to the fire place and the floo powder?!"
XMUDX: Bwa ha ha ha!
Harry: "Hey! This looks like a septic-"
Mrs. Weasley: "All right Harry in you go!"
Ron: "But Mumsey Harry's never traveled by poo power before!"
Mrs. Weasley: *very tense* "Oh fine sure okay. hmm I wonder- WHAT WILL WE DO?! OH! Hey RON how about YOU. go FIRST?!"
Ron: "Awwe fine okay."
(The rest of the Weasley's help Ron step into a huge trash bag which is then sealed over his entire body and covered in a slick layer of Vaseline)
Ron: *muffled* "DIAGON ALLEY!!"
(Ron is then flung into the filthy pool of waste and is quickly sucked down out of their sight)
Mrs. Weasley: "All right Harry your turn, common now.don't be a pussy"
Columbus: "PG rating!"
(Harry is stuffed into two bags- one covering his body and another over his huge and gaping scarred head)
Mrs. Weasley: "All right don't $%&# this up Harry. say the words right"
Harry: "DiAgONElLY!"
::SpLOoSh!!::
(Harry is sucked down the nastiness by force and is propelled straight up and out of some form of piping)
::SpLOoSh!!::
Audience: "Is that a-?"
Harry: "What?! A toilet!? *Disgusted* I flew out of a TOILET?!"
(A toilet proudly stares back at him. Harry then feeling curious, touches all over the toilet until it suddenly attacks him)
Harry: *screaming* AAAAA! Toilet! You just grabbed my hand!! AAAA! You will not let go!! I must fight you!
(Audience members begin to leave)
(Harry fishes his wand out of the bowl of the toilet)
Harry: Extillioilet Ricosauve!
::PooF!:: (The toilet disappears and Harry Dances a little jig)
Hagro: "'ARRY!! Wha' ya Doin' in 'ere?"
(Hagro is standing close covering his nose with a bed sheet)
Harry: "Whoa where the hell did you come from??"
Hagro: "Bin 'ere the whole time!"
Harry: "So you saw then! You saw me defeat the toilet!"
Hagro: *looking worried* "No, ahh 'Arry I been watchin the whole time and you bin just sitting on the floor rollin' in tha' there feces"
Harry: "Oh."
DIAGON ALLEY
Mrs. Weasley: Hey! Let's get everything signed by Gaylord Lockhart! For I love him!
Gaylord: And I love Harry! Come now Harry and take pictures with me!
Malfoy: GrRrRr! I hates him!
Mr. Malfoy: GrRrRr! I hates him too! And you! And you! Especially YOU!
(He randomly points to all the people standing around Harry)
Mr. Weasley: What are you doing? Why haven't you taken the books from my daughter Gina yet?
Mr. Malfoy: "I did. Here have them back plus one of mine little girrrrl"
Mr. Weasley: oh okay.
(Here we see the flying ford truck land next to a huge misshapen barn)
Harry: *swept over by nausea* "Is that-?"
Ron: Yup. This is our house!
Harry: My god! You guys are so POOR! I mean, look at your house, it's just so POOR!!
(Harry starts running in the opposite direction only to be brutally beaten by one of the Weasley's garden gnomes and drug back)
Fred: Come now Harry, let us go inside and indulge ourselves upon the crafted goods made by thy evil cryptic womb!
George: Yeah let's swipe some grub mom made before she sees we've been gone
(The four boys walk inside)
Ron: It's not much but-
(Harry takes a whiff of the poverty stricken home and then vomits in a sink)
Bookies: "Wait. when was.?"
Harry: "No.*cough* . I *hiccup* think its Brilliant!"
Mrs. Weasley: Hello! I want to feed you yes I will feed after I give my sons some verbal abuse and threats
Gina: "Mumsey have you seen my cat?
Mrs. Weasley: "Yes dear it's on you jumpa"
(Gina Sees Harry, slaps him then runs back upstairs)
Bookies: Huh?!
Harry: What the hell was that?!
Ron: Gina, shes been talking mad crap about you all summer. pretty funny really.
(Harry shoots Ron a dirty look mouthing something under his breath)
(Mr. Weasley appears at the door and immediately starts complaining about his job and miserable home life)
Mr. Weasley: "Hello *to Harry* who the hell are you?"
Harry: "Name's Potter sir. HARRY Potter" *points to disfigurement on forehead*
Mr. Weasley: "Good lord! Are you? Is that EYE makeup you're wearing??"
"ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"
Mrs. Weasley: Oh that will be the mail!
(Suddenly there is a loud crash and a large dirty pig is seen lying limp outside the front door)
Harry: Er. You have a cow?
Ron: *ignoring Harry* "Oh no! I am surprised! Everything is expensive AGAIN this year and we are still poor! How are we EVER going to be able to afford all this?!"
(The rest of the Wesley's look at Fred and as if they all shared a secret Fred sadly nodded and put on a wig)
Harry: "Do not worry for I am rich"
Rest of group: "Hooray!"
Mrs. Weasley: "Well there's only place we can get this stuff! -DIAGON ALLEY!!"
All the Weasleys: "YEAH! Poo Power!!!"
(Out back of the Burrow)
Harry: What's that smell?!
Ron: *cheerfully* "THAT Harry is the poo power!"
(They all group around a large hole in the ground filled with an unknown sewage)
Columbus: "What the-What happened to the fire place and the floo powder?!"
XMUDX: Bwa ha ha ha!
Harry: "Hey! This looks like a septic-"
Mrs. Weasley: "All right Harry in you go!"
Ron: "But Mumsey Harry's never traveled by poo power before!"
Mrs. Weasley: *very tense* "Oh fine sure okay. hmm I wonder- WHAT WILL WE DO?! OH! Hey RON how about YOU. go FIRST?!"
Ron: "Awwe fine okay."
(The rest of the Weasley's help Ron step into a huge trash bag which is then sealed over his entire body and covered in a slick layer of Vaseline)
Ron: *muffled* "DIAGON ALLEY!!"
(Ron is then flung into the filthy pool of waste and is quickly sucked down out of their sight)
Mrs. Weasley: "All right Harry your turn, common now.don't be a pussy"
Columbus: "PG rating!"
(Harry is stuffed into two bags- one covering his body and another over his huge and gaping scarred head)
Mrs. Weasley: "All right don't $%&# this up Harry. say the words right"
Harry: "DiAgONElLY!"
::SpLOoSh!!::
(Harry is sucked down the nastiness by force and is propelled straight up and out of some form of piping)
::SpLOoSh!!::
Audience: "Is that a-?"
Harry: "What?! A toilet!? *Disgusted* I flew out of a TOILET?!"
(A toilet proudly stares back at him. Harry then feeling curious, touches all over the toilet until it suddenly attacks him)
Harry: *screaming* AAAAA! Toilet! You just grabbed my hand!! AAAA! You will not let go!! I must fight you!
(Audience members begin to leave)
(Harry fishes his wand out of the bowl of the toilet)
Harry: Extillioilet Ricosauve!
::PooF!:: (The toilet disappears and Harry Dances a little jig)
Hagro: "'ARRY!! Wha' ya Doin' in 'ere?"
(Hagro is standing close covering his nose with a bed sheet)
Harry: "Whoa where the hell did you come from??"
Hagro: "Bin 'ere the whole time!"
Harry: "So you saw then! You saw me defeat the toilet!"
Hagro: *looking worried* "No, ahh 'Arry I been watchin the whole time and you bin just sitting on the floor rollin' in tha' there feces"
Harry: "Oh."
DIAGON ALLEY
Mrs. Weasley: Hey! Let's get everything signed by Gaylord Lockhart! For I love him!
Gaylord: And I love Harry! Come now Harry and take pictures with me!
Malfoy: GrRrRr! I hates him!
Mr. Malfoy: GrRrRr! I hates him too! And you! And you! Especially YOU!
(He randomly points to all the people standing around Harry)
Mr. Weasley: What are you doing? Why haven't you taken the books from my daughter Gina yet?
Mr. Malfoy: "I did. Here have them back plus one of mine little girrrrl"
Mr. Weasley: oh okay.