(Author's Note: This is a Star Trek thing and at the time of this writing I haven't been able to watch the show so I'm just writing from what I've heard and making up a bunch of this crap up. Also this has some small things from an inside joke, so if you don't understand some of it, don't feel bad. If you are offended by cursing, please get your ass out of here. I don't need a lecture. =P Here are some notes about the characters:

Captain Janeway-A lady who doesn't give a shit who you are, she wants coffee and you better not deny her of it..o.O;;
Chrissy-My friend who inspired me to write such an insane FanFic. Thought I should include her in the story. By the way, she's in with all the inside jokes.
I-That would be me. =P
SpongeBob-He's an annoying bastard whom I can't get enough of destroying. =)

Now, for reading my insane FanFic! )

It was a beautiful day in space. It was very...black...and filled with shiny stars. It really wasn't any different from all the other days...as all the other days are black. Actually, now that you think about it yesterday that one star exploded creating a black hole and its gravitational force nearly pulled us in the thingy and so space looked a little different, warpy, and all cool looking and so...uh...I'm babbling again. Hehe, do excuse that. MOVING ON...

Chrissy and I were in the Janeway-Obssessed-Ship-Of-Sillyness-That- Has-Posters-And-Pictures-Of-Janeway-Everywhere-Along-With-Janewayites-Ooh!- Don't-Forget-The-Coffee!, (Or the JOSOSTHPAPOJEAWJODFTC for short!) the latest ship of its kind. We were doing our job, assignment, slave work, or whatever you choose to call it. Our duty was a difficult one. It required lots of skills and years of practice. Not anyone could do it you know! It was very frustrating, but yet fun. (We love our job!) And we did our best at it...we worked extra hours and woke up early to do our job, because we love it that much. (And we want to be Devoted Janewayites of the Month!) Our duty was to...it was to.......it was to...to perform the complex, perplexing, and meticulous task of pressing flashing shiny buttons that blink. Yes, you know very well how difficult and important that job is. sigh If only Chrissy and I could do more for the ship...we would be so happy. While performing our task with much difficulty, we were deep in concentration...first I pressed the some buttons about gassing everyone in their sleeping quarters, a button that flushed all the toilets at once, and played with this switch. Surprisingly, everything I switched it a certain direction, all the energy was shut off. I was just about to hit this self destruct button when Janeway's voice over the intercom said, "Excuse my dear obsessed fans, it turns out that something terrible has happened...something absolutely horrific!!! I'm afraid that...that...that...OUR COFFEE SUPPLY IS LOW!!! QUICK! We must veer to the nearest Starbucks and stock up! And I want MOCHA FRAPPACINO! Not that damn cheap Folgers's that come in a stupid can. We DO have advanced coffee preservation methods since I threatened the government to reveal the great technology in which our coffee tastes fresher longer and lasts longer! So we should take advantage of our damn crap! I SHALL REMAIN PISSY UNTIL I GET MY MOCHA FRAPPACINO!!!"

As her followers, we redirected the ship and veered towards Starbucks, everyone was quivering in fear of the queen. Chrissy and I were hugging our Janeway Plushie set...we have every single one, and there are only two of each in the whole time stream! So we had very rare collectables. Although no one believes us because they think we are hallucinating. Well, screw those fuckers. We have them all and they are just jealous bitches. We have the classic Janeway Plushie, Janeway Plushie holding a coffee cup, Janeway Plushie with a compression phaser rifle at hand, and Janeway Plushie holding a bag of Tostitos. So we sat there hugging them all singing softly,

Rock a bye Janeway
The phaser is at arm
If we piss her off
She'll do us much harm
When her patience breaks
The world is history
We all go bye-bye
Except Janeway and coffee

After 10 LONG seconds, we reached Starbucks. We THOUGHT it was an ordinary 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,00 0,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 orders of Mocha Frappacino for Janeway, and 10 for us each. (Ten a day to be more specific.) Any left over from our daily ration is taken up by Captain Janeway and who knows what is done to it. =P Now back to Starbucks. When we arrived there and entered the holy company of coffee, as usual everyone gasped trembled before us for 15 seconds and ran away. (The trembling pleases Janeway, so everyone does it now...it's a tradition I guess.) HOWEVER, a group of people didn't follow the "I fear Janeway so much I'm going to gasp, tremble for 15 seconds, and run away from Janeway" tradition. It turns out that this foolish group was our arch rivals...they are...they are...they ARE: SPONGEBOB AND HIS GANG OF FANS!!! everyone in the universe gasps in horror and there is silence for 10 seconds...not even the crickets are chirping...then returns to their normal life.

Yeah, I know! It's soo terrifying right? I mean, it's SPONGEBOB! The annoying yellow sponge that has a freakishly high pitched voice! Janeway hates them more than having no coffee, being said no to, and called ma'am without coffee all combined! ( This means she REALLY hates them!) She growled at the annoying yellow sponge and said, "So what is a yellow toilet cleaner with holes doing in a holy coffee palace such as Starbucks?"

"Just getting some coffee. You got a problem?"

"I have many problems. Although there is one that can be solved, and I plan for it to be solved as soon as possible."

"And what that might be?"

"Are you seriously that dumb? Oh my..."

"You have a problem with ME Janeway? Is that what you're saying?!"

"Why of course you dumb ass. Who else do you think I was talking about?"

"You will pay for that, men, get out your weapons!" SpongeBob's supporter's takes out their ultimate weapon...it is feared throughout the kids' entertainment industry...the ultimate weapons that they possess are metal spoons!

Janeway chuckles and says, "That's the best you got? That may be the most feared weapon throughout the kids' entertainment industry, but seem to have overlooked "kid" You're in the big leagues now, and spoons are merely utensils to eat Leola Root Soup with. Troops, take out your weapons...and hand me mine. everyone takes out top notch phaser rifles and hands Janeway the JRTNMAWIHYSGB phaser rifle. (The long name is: Janeway's Rifle That Never Misses And When It Hits You Say Good Bye rifle) This rifle is perhaps the most lethal, modern, and scary rifle when Janeway has it in her arms. Now with her favorite weapons she smiles sweetly yet triumphantly and sneers, "Too bad they never delivered your coffee. I guess I'll take it. Thanks for paying."

And that's the end of SpongeBob. So now Janeway totally owns everyone and everything with her glare and she has no rebellions. If she does we don't give a shit about them and just know they are dead within 20 seconds. Soo...it's a happy ending! (By the way, Chrissy and I are her personal assistants. NO WE ARE NOT HALLUCINATING! Don't listen to those other jealous fuckers! DON'T!! YOU HEAR ME?! DON'T!!) The end...of the entire damn world.