BEAST BOY: I thought I died.
You did.
BEAST BOY: So then how can I be here?
Magic. Ooh.
[Disclaimer: I own neither Teen Titans nor the song "View From Heaven" by Yellowcard. I know some of you have been clamoring for an Evanescence songfic chapter, but I like this song better. Don't hurt me! Ow! Who threw that?!? Oh. It's you. Stupid College Scholarship winner. Prepare for a beating, clown...]
-----
I'm just so tired
Won't you sing me to sleep
And fly through my dreams
So I can hitch a ride with you tonight
----
Raven left Harry's and walked down the street in the fading light. She was heading towards the park without realizing it. The rain had slowed to a fine mist in the gray twilight.
She stood on the edge of the cliff that ended the far side of the park, leaning on the guard rail. She looked out over the ocean and breathed in deeply. A tear rolled off her cheek and splashed on the rocks far below.
-------
And get away from this place
Have a new name and face
I just ain't the same without you in my life
----
The wind blew across the bay and ruffled Raven's cloak. She looked down from the top of the cliff and wondered what exactly would happen if she jumped. Would she die for sure? Or was there a chance she would survive?
People had survived falling off buildings before. People survived hanging themselves. Drowning themselves. Shooting themselves. Electrocuting themselves. One guy even survived shooting himself in the head, jumping off a cliff, suffocating himself, and drowning himself all at once.
--------
Late-night drives
All alone in my car
I can't help but start
Singing lines from all our favorite songs
-------
She stepped back from the edge a bit and started to fly back to the Tower. She looked down at the water as she flew and thought what it must be like to drown. The water filling your lungs and sinking to the bottom...closing your eyes for the last time.
Raven landed on the roof and took one look at the bay before going inside. The Tower was dark, and she sighed heavily as she entered the kitchen and started rummaging around for nothing in particular. She wasn't hungry, but the others would talk if she didn't eat.
Let them talk. She didn't care anymore. She didn't care about anything anymore. Herself, her friends, the city...anything. She would care, if Beast Boy was still alive. Not really thinking, she began to roll her sleeve back and rummage for a knife.
--------
And melodies in the air
Singing life just ain't fair
Sometimes I still just can't believe you're gone
-------
"Raven, what are you—" Robin stopped when he saw her with her hand in the knife drawer. "...doing. You weren't going to cut yourself again, were you?" Good evening, Captain Obvious.
"What gave you that idea, Boy Wonder?" She continued to look for a knife. Robin stepped closer to her and reached out to put a hand on her shoulder. She turned her head to look at him and slammed the drawer closed.
"Leave me alone. I don't want anyone's help."
"But we want to help you. You're hurting yourself."
"That's the point."
"Why do you really cut?"
"I told you."
"No. Really."
-------
And I'm sure the view from heaven
Beats the hell out of mine here
And if we all believe in heaven
Maybe we'll make it through one more year
Down here
-------
"I...I guess it's just the only way that I can bring all the pain that's inside up to the surface. I hurt the thing on the outside to kill the thing on the inside." Robin caught her in a hesitant embrace as she leaned forward and rested her head on his shoulder, arms limp at her sides. More tears dotted his uniform as she cried.
"I miss him."
"We're all going to miss him, Raven. But you can't let that make you cut."
"But I want to die. I really do."
"You think that now."
"I know that. I want to die so I can see Beast Boy again." She picked her head up from his shoulder and looked at him. "I'm miserable here."
---
Feel your fire
When it's cold in my heart
And things sort of start
Reminding me of my last night with you
-----
.
.
.
The four remaining Titans sat together on the couch in the living room in the dark that night, doing nothing. Starfire hadn't spoken since the incident occurred and Cyborg was sort of on the verge of a breakdown.
"Now what do we do?" asked Starfire quietly. Nobody said anything for a second or two. Raven spoke up.
"There's always Round Table..." she suggested. Robin snorted.
"No. I'm going to bed. I'm tired." He got up and started walking in the general direction of his room. Starfire also retired soon after. Raven and Cyborg were the only ones left awake.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"For what?"
"For being such an idiot."
"I guess I can forgive you. It's not really your fault, and now we're both minus a friend."
-----
I only need one more day
Just one more chance to say
I wish that I had gone on with you too
-----
They sat in silence for a few more minutes before Raven went to bed. But not before she levitated a knife out of the knife drawer and had it follow her down the hall to her room...
.
.
.
Raven lay on her back on her bed, telekinetically making the knife do tricks in the air above her bed. She carved words in the air, poems, songs, names. Every now and then, she let it fall into her hand so she could cut, but mostly she just watched the blade flash in the dim light.
------
And I'm sure the view from heaven
Beats the hell out of mine here
And if we all believe in heaven
Maybe we'll make it through one more year
Down here
You won't be coming back and I didn't get to say goodbye
I really wish I'd got to say goodbye
-------
What would the knife feel like slipping into her heart? It would hurt, but only for a second. Then pure blackness. It must be nice, Raven thought, to be dead. Nothing to worry about, nothing to fear, nothing to feel.
------
And I'm sure the view from heaven
Beats the hell out of mine here
And if we all believe in heaven
Maybe we'll make it through one more year
I hope that all is well in heaven
Cause it's all shot to hell down here
(we need you)
I hope that I find you in heaven
Cause I'm so lost without you down here
----
But she didn't kill herself, not then at least. She just put the knife on the floor and curled up on top of the covers to try to sleep.
[A/N: Wooo...another chapter. That song almost makes me wish I was a Christian so I could believe in the heaven they talk about.
BEAST BOY: And I'm still dead.
Your point is?
BEAST BOY: Well can I come back to life?
I don't intend on it.
BEAST BOY: Dammit.
Gothica13: BB won't come alive again, Terra will go to the deepest circle of Hell, and the remote will be found after you need to change the channel.
killallfags (2): You flunked Stupid College, didn't you?
KILLALLFAGS (3): Yeah...whatever. fucking idiot. go drown in your own vomit.
Eva (12): Here ya go. Peppermint tea rocks.
Eva(11): Awww...
purplemusicgoddess: ::smile:: you sound like my kind of person.
Rusty Marshmellows: You are most welcome.
UrufuKiba22: Thank you.
raven1332: Thank you.
Raven-Vegeta: Ah yes...the men in the white coats...I know them well. "They're coming to take me away, ha-ha! To the funny farm, whith those nice, nice men in their big white coats..." from Napoleon XIV's "They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-Ha!" I love that song.
EndlessDeviltry: I'm sorry.
TsukasaSIGN: ::smile:: Thank you.
HyperShadow666: Thank you lots!!
xgirl66: Thanks.
You did.
BEAST BOY: So then how can I be here?
Magic. Ooh.
[Disclaimer: I own neither Teen Titans nor the song "View From Heaven" by Yellowcard. I know some of you have been clamoring for an Evanescence songfic chapter, but I like this song better. Don't hurt me! Ow! Who threw that?!? Oh. It's you. Stupid College Scholarship winner. Prepare for a beating, clown...]
-----
I'm just so tired
Won't you sing me to sleep
And fly through my dreams
So I can hitch a ride with you tonight
----
Raven left Harry's and walked down the street in the fading light. She was heading towards the park without realizing it. The rain had slowed to a fine mist in the gray twilight.
She stood on the edge of the cliff that ended the far side of the park, leaning on the guard rail. She looked out over the ocean and breathed in deeply. A tear rolled off her cheek and splashed on the rocks far below.
-------
And get away from this place
Have a new name and face
I just ain't the same without you in my life
----
The wind blew across the bay and ruffled Raven's cloak. She looked down from the top of the cliff and wondered what exactly would happen if she jumped. Would she die for sure? Or was there a chance she would survive?
People had survived falling off buildings before. People survived hanging themselves. Drowning themselves. Shooting themselves. Electrocuting themselves. One guy even survived shooting himself in the head, jumping off a cliff, suffocating himself, and drowning himself all at once.
--------
Late-night drives
All alone in my car
I can't help but start
Singing lines from all our favorite songs
-------
She stepped back from the edge a bit and started to fly back to the Tower. She looked down at the water as she flew and thought what it must be like to drown. The water filling your lungs and sinking to the bottom...closing your eyes for the last time.
Raven landed on the roof and took one look at the bay before going inside. The Tower was dark, and she sighed heavily as she entered the kitchen and started rummaging around for nothing in particular. She wasn't hungry, but the others would talk if she didn't eat.
Let them talk. She didn't care anymore. She didn't care about anything anymore. Herself, her friends, the city...anything. She would care, if Beast Boy was still alive. Not really thinking, she began to roll her sleeve back and rummage for a knife.
--------
And melodies in the air
Singing life just ain't fair
Sometimes I still just can't believe you're gone
-------
"Raven, what are you—" Robin stopped when he saw her with her hand in the knife drawer. "...doing. You weren't going to cut yourself again, were you?" Good evening, Captain Obvious.
"What gave you that idea, Boy Wonder?" She continued to look for a knife. Robin stepped closer to her and reached out to put a hand on her shoulder. She turned her head to look at him and slammed the drawer closed.
"Leave me alone. I don't want anyone's help."
"But we want to help you. You're hurting yourself."
"That's the point."
"Why do you really cut?"
"I told you."
"No. Really."
-------
And I'm sure the view from heaven
Beats the hell out of mine here
And if we all believe in heaven
Maybe we'll make it through one more year
Down here
-------
"I...I guess it's just the only way that I can bring all the pain that's inside up to the surface. I hurt the thing on the outside to kill the thing on the inside." Robin caught her in a hesitant embrace as she leaned forward and rested her head on his shoulder, arms limp at her sides. More tears dotted his uniform as she cried.
"I miss him."
"We're all going to miss him, Raven. But you can't let that make you cut."
"But I want to die. I really do."
"You think that now."
"I know that. I want to die so I can see Beast Boy again." She picked her head up from his shoulder and looked at him. "I'm miserable here."
---
Feel your fire
When it's cold in my heart
And things sort of start
Reminding me of my last night with you
-----
.
.
.
The four remaining Titans sat together on the couch in the living room in the dark that night, doing nothing. Starfire hadn't spoken since the incident occurred and Cyborg was sort of on the verge of a breakdown.
"Now what do we do?" asked Starfire quietly. Nobody said anything for a second or two. Raven spoke up.
"There's always Round Table..." she suggested. Robin snorted.
"No. I'm going to bed. I'm tired." He got up and started walking in the general direction of his room. Starfire also retired soon after. Raven and Cyborg were the only ones left awake.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"For what?"
"For being such an idiot."
"I guess I can forgive you. It's not really your fault, and now we're both minus a friend."
-----
I only need one more day
Just one more chance to say
I wish that I had gone on with you too
-----
They sat in silence for a few more minutes before Raven went to bed. But not before she levitated a knife out of the knife drawer and had it follow her down the hall to her room...
.
.
.
Raven lay on her back on her bed, telekinetically making the knife do tricks in the air above her bed. She carved words in the air, poems, songs, names. Every now and then, she let it fall into her hand so she could cut, but mostly she just watched the blade flash in the dim light.
------
And I'm sure the view from heaven
Beats the hell out of mine here
And if we all believe in heaven
Maybe we'll make it through one more year
Down here
You won't be coming back and I didn't get to say goodbye
I really wish I'd got to say goodbye
-------
What would the knife feel like slipping into her heart? It would hurt, but only for a second. Then pure blackness. It must be nice, Raven thought, to be dead. Nothing to worry about, nothing to fear, nothing to feel.
------
And I'm sure the view from heaven
Beats the hell out of mine here
And if we all believe in heaven
Maybe we'll make it through one more year
I hope that all is well in heaven
Cause it's all shot to hell down here
(we need you)
I hope that I find you in heaven
Cause I'm so lost without you down here
----
But she didn't kill herself, not then at least. She just put the knife on the floor and curled up on top of the covers to try to sleep.
[A/N: Wooo...another chapter. That song almost makes me wish I was a Christian so I could believe in the heaven they talk about.
BEAST BOY: And I'm still dead.
Your point is?
BEAST BOY: Well can I come back to life?
I don't intend on it.
BEAST BOY: Dammit.
Gothica13: BB won't come alive again, Terra will go to the deepest circle of Hell, and the remote will be found after you need to change the channel.
killallfags (2): You flunked Stupid College, didn't you?
KILLALLFAGS (3): Yeah...whatever. fucking idiot. go drown in your own vomit.
Eva (12): Here ya go. Peppermint tea rocks.
Eva(11): Awww...
purplemusicgoddess: ::smile:: you sound like my kind of person.
Rusty Marshmellows: You are most welcome.
UrufuKiba22: Thank you.
raven1332: Thank you.
Raven-Vegeta: Ah yes...the men in the white coats...I know them well. "They're coming to take me away, ha-ha! To the funny farm, whith those nice, nice men in their big white coats..." from Napoleon XIV's "They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-Ha!" I love that song.
EndlessDeviltry: I'm sorry.
TsukasaSIGN: ::smile:: Thank you.
HyperShadow666: Thank you lots!!
xgirl66: Thanks.