BEAST BOY: What's the point, if you're not going to let me come back alive?
That's one of the main driving points in the story.
BEAST BOY: But I like living.
Too bad.
[Disclaimer: Marv Wolfman owns Teen Titans. Or at least he created them. I wonder if he's still alive...Jhonen Vasquez owns Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. I know he's still alive because I have a picture of him on my desktop from the Comic-Con three years ago.]
The storm had picked up again by the next morning and the power was off again. Raven lay on her back, hands folded behind her head, and stared at her ceiling. She closed her eyes and sought out her inner consciousness.
Shadows floated in and out of the mist that hung everywhere. The weather from outside seemed to have weaseled its way in. A black-cloaked Raven sat on a rock, knees drawn up to her chest, chin resting on arms that were folded on top.
Raven walked over to the other Raven in her mind. Without looking up from watching the shadows float past, the black-clad Raven muttered something.
"What?"
"Just kill me. There's no point in living anymore, if he's not here." Raven (the regular one) sat down next to her sorrowful counterpart, and thought about what she was saying.
"I don't want to be alive anymore. I want to die, so I can see him again. Kill me." Raven thought of the knife on the floor by her bed. "He wants to see me. I want to see him. He can't be brought back to life. I can die. I want to die. Kill me. Let me die."
.
.
Raven opened her eyes and sat up. The room started spinning and she held her head. Her arms hurt from all the cuts from the night before that crisscrossed each other and played around dangerously close to her wrists. Her heart hurt from the loss of the one she loved. Her head hurt for no apparent reason at all.
But she got up anyway. The tower was deserted for the most part, and she decided to return the knife to the kitchen.
.
.
"Raven, what are you doing?" asked Starfire from behind. Raven froze with her hand on the handle of the knife drawer. Hiding the knife behind her back, Raven turned around.
"You were not going to cut yourself again, were you?" asked the young alien. Raven shook her head, and that was the truth—she had already done it. She put the knife on the counter and slipped past Starfire to go to her room. Star grabbed her arm before she could realize what was going on and pulled her sleeve back.
"Raven, what have you done to yourself?!" She turned loose of her friend's arm and let her go back to her room, where she stayed for the rest of the day.
Raven sat on her bed, the only sound breaking the silence being the soft wet pattering sound of rain outside. She looked at her arms every now and then. All of a sudden, she just started flipping out and scratching at the cuts that had not yet healed, making them break open again and bleed.
The blood got all over her bed, but she didn't care. Raven just kept scratching at her arms until they bled afresh. She couldn't breathe...she just kept choking back the tears and wishing she could die.
.
.
.
The ground looked far away from this high up, but that was all for the better. Taking a deep breath, Raven looked out at the bay, gray in the stormy light of a week-long torrent. The waves crashed on the beach below, hardly making any noise over the racket of the storm.
"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone. But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along," Raven said to no one anybody else could see. She closed her eyes for a moment as the cold wind blew around her, making her cloak whip around to one side.
Opening her eyes, Raven walked back to the middle of the roof. She turned. Swallowing her fear, she started running...
.
.
.
"Where's Raven?" asked Robin as he rummaged into he refrigerator for something to eat for supper. Starfire looked up from Raven's book of short stories that she had found on the coffee table and sighed softly.
"I have not seen her since this morning. She is most likely still in her bedroom. At least, I hope that is where she is."
"I'm gonna go look for her. She has to eat something, or she'll starve."
"Is that not her point?" the Tamaranian said to herself after he had left. She went back to reading "The Violet Car."
.
"Raven? Are you there?" Robin knocked on her door. No response, obviously. He knocked again and opened the door a little.
"Are you there?" He opened the door all the way to discover what else but an empty room. He walked in and looked around. The bed was made up, all the books were on their shelves, and nothing was out of place. There was a piece of paper on Raven's pillow. Robin picked it up.
"Sometimes...you can cry until there is nothing wet in you. You can scream and curse until your throat rebels and ruptures. You can pray all you want to whatever god you think will listen. And still, it makes no difference. It goes on, with no sign as to when it might release you. And you never know that if it ever did relent, it would not be because it cared."
Robin dropped the note and ran. He climbed the stairs three at a time and made it to the roof just in time to see Raven turn around and start to run.
"RAVEN!!!" He dashed to the edge of the roof after his friend and just caught her hand as she left the top of the tower. She glared up at him.
"Let me go!" He pulled her back up onto the roof with him and held on to her tightly as she tried to make a break for it. Tears started to roll down Raven's cheeks as she was dragged kicking and screaming away from the edge of the roof.
.
.
As soon as Robin set her down on the couch, Raven curled up and began to cry silently. She had almost done it. She had almost jumped to her death from the top of the tower, and she still wanted to do it.
[A/N: Well how's that for depression for ya? The story's getting good. Will Raven get her wish and commit suicide? Will she be stopped? Will killallfags ever stop reviewing for my story?
The suicide note Robin found is a quote from a comic by the phenomenally famous Jhonen Vasquez called Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. I love it.
BEAST BOY: I want to live.
Too bad. If you want to do something about that, go see Hades. I'm sure he'll be able to do something about that for you.
BEAST BOY: I don't have the money for that kind of trip.
Well neither do I. Hitchhike.
TsukasaSIGN: ::smile:: Thank you.
Big Mac: I'm sorry. Thank you!!!
killallfags (13): Fine then. Apparently, you sent the complements after I had already answered the reviews, but if you don't want me to dis you then just stay the fuck away from my story, okay?
steph4nie-ff: I'm sorry!! Thank you.
Weeble Wobble Chick: She's certainly trying to kill herself. I was going to update as soon as I got this review, but the damn computer wouldn't let me get on the ff.net site to see my reviews.
phoenix7929: Thank you lots! I'm a Witch.
UrufuKiba22: That's okay...deep thoughts. Wonderful. I shall.
Eva: Thanks.
killallfags (8): ::rolls up sleeves:: It's on now, clown. ::fights killallfags:: ::wins:: Yay!
killallfags (6): Fuck you to the moon and back.
Identity99 (13): I'm getting to it...I have a voice in my head too. His name is LittleVoice. LittleVoice thanks your little voices. So do I.
Identity99 (12): Thank you! Jack Off Jill is a band and Kurama is just a character from another show. He got a taxi back to his world. He won't be coming back to this story.
purplemusicgoddess: Thank you. Author Alert is where you can get an e-mail saying when a certain author has updated a story. I use it often. Is helpful. You can ban people from reviewing your stories, but not if they're posting anonymously, like that coward is.
raven1322: lol. Thank you.
Raven-Vegeta: I love that song. Thank you!
Da Mann: What do you mean, HAVE ENJOYED?!?! YOU BETTER KEEP ENJOYING. The story isn't over yet. I do believe in a heaven, but I know it's not the one in the song.
EndlessDeviltry: Thanks!
Bilious: Thank you.
Thank you reviewers! Good night, Cleveland!! Well...Arkadelphia...Arkado...Arkadonothing...whichever.
That's one of the main driving points in the story.
BEAST BOY: But I like living.
Too bad.
[Disclaimer: Marv Wolfman owns Teen Titans. Or at least he created them. I wonder if he's still alive...Jhonen Vasquez owns Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. I know he's still alive because I have a picture of him on my desktop from the Comic-Con three years ago.]
The storm had picked up again by the next morning and the power was off again. Raven lay on her back, hands folded behind her head, and stared at her ceiling. She closed her eyes and sought out her inner consciousness.
Shadows floated in and out of the mist that hung everywhere. The weather from outside seemed to have weaseled its way in. A black-cloaked Raven sat on a rock, knees drawn up to her chest, chin resting on arms that were folded on top.
Raven walked over to the other Raven in her mind. Without looking up from watching the shadows float past, the black-clad Raven muttered something.
"What?"
"Just kill me. There's no point in living anymore, if he's not here." Raven (the regular one) sat down next to her sorrowful counterpart, and thought about what she was saying.
"I don't want to be alive anymore. I want to die, so I can see him again. Kill me." Raven thought of the knife on the floor by her bed. "He wants to see me. I want to see him. He can't be brought back to life. I can die. I want to die. Kill me. Let me die."
.
.
Raven opened her eyes and sat up. The room started spinning and she held her head. Her arms hurt from all the cuts from the night before that crisscrossed each other and played around dangerously close to her wrists. Her heart hurt from the loss of the one she loved. Her head hurt for no apparent reason at all.
But she got up anyway. The tower was deserted for the most part, and she decided to return the knife to the kitchen.
.
.
"Raven, what are you doing?" asked Starfire from behind. Raven froze with her hand on the handle of the knife drawer. Hiding the knife behind her back, Raven turned around.
"You were not going to cut yourself again, were you?" asked the young alien. Raven shook her head, and that was the truth—she had already done it. She put the knife on the counter and slipped past Starfire to go to her room. Star grabbed her arm before she could realize what was going on and pulled her sleeve back.
"Raven, what have you done to yourself?!" She turned loose of her friend's arm and let her go back to her room, where she stayed for the rest of the day.
Raven sat on her bed, the only sound breaking the silence being the soft wet pattering sound of rain outside. She looked at her arms every now and then. All of a sudden, she just started flipping out and scratching at the cuts that had not yet healed, making them break open again and bleed.
The blood got all over her bed, but she didn't care. Raven just kept scratching at her arms until they bled afresh. She couldn't breathe...she just kept choking back the tears and wishing she could die.
.
.
.
The ground looked far away from this high up, but that was all for the better. Taking a deep breath, Raven looked out at the bay, gray in the stormy light of a week-long torrent. The waves crashed on the beach below, hardly making any noise over the racket of the storm.
"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone. But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along," Raven said to no one anybody else could see. She closed her eyes for a moment as the cold wind blew around her, making her cloak whip around to one side.
Opening her eyes, Raven walked back to the middle of the roof. She turned. Swallowing her fear, she started running...
.
.
.
"Where's Raven?" asked Robin as he rummaged into he refrigerator for something to eat for supper. Starfire looked up from Raven's book of short stories that she had found on the coffee table and sighed softly.
"I have not seen her since this morning. She is most likely still in her bedroom. At least, I hope that is where she is."
"I'm gonna go look for her. She has to eat something, or she'll starve."
"Is that not her point?" the Tamaranian said to herself after he had left. She went back to reading "The Violet Car."
.
"Raven? Are you there?" Robin knocked on her door. No response, obviously. He knocked again and opened the door a little.
"Are you there?" He opened the door all the way to discover what else but an empty room. He walked in and looked around. The bed was made up, all the books were on their shelves, and nothing was out of place. There was a piece of paper on Raven's pillow. Robin picked it up.
"Sometimes...you can cry until there is nothing wet in you. You can scream and curse until your throat rebels and ruptures. You can pray all you want to whatever god you think will listen. And still, it makes no difference. It goes on, with no sign as to when it might release you. And you never know that if it ever did relent, it would not be because it cared."
Robin dropped the note and ran. He climbed the stairs three at a time and made it to the roof just in time to see Raven turn around and start to run.
"RAVEN!!!" He dashed to the edge of the roof after his friend and just caught her hand as she left the top of the tower. She glared up at him.
"Let me go!" He pulled her back up onto the roof with him and held on to her tightly as she tried to make a break for it. Tears started to roll down Raven's cheeks as she was dragged kicking and screaming away from the edge of the roof.
.
.
As soon as Robin set her down on the couch, Raven curled up and began to cry silently. She had almost done it. She had almost jumped to her death from the top of the tower, and she still wanted to do it.
[A/N: Well how's that for depression for ya? The story's getting good. Will Raven get her wish and commit suicide? Will she be stopped? Will killallfags ever stop reviewing for my story?
The suicide note Robin found is a quote from a comic by the phenomenally famous Jhonen Vasquez called Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. I love it.
BEAST BOY: I want to live.
Too bad. If you want to do something about that, go see Hades. I'm sure he'll be able to do something about that for you.
BEAST BOY: I don't have the money for that kind of trip.
Well neither do I. Hitchhike.
TsukasaSIGN: ::smile:: Thank you.
Big Mac: I'm sorry. Thank you!!!
killallfags (13): Fine then. Apparently, you sent the complements after I had already answered the reviews, but if you don't want me to dis you then just stay the fuck away from my story, okay?
steph4nie-ff: I'm sorry!! Thank you.
Weeble Wobble Chick: She's certainly trying to kill herself. I was going to update as soon as I got this review, but the damn computer wouldn't let me get on the ff.net site to see my reviews.
phoenix7929: Thank you lots! I'm a Witch.
UrufuKiba22: That's okay...deep thoughts. Wonderful. I shall.
Eva: Thanks.
killallfags (8): ::rolls up sleeves:: It's on now, clown. ::fights killallfags:: ::wins:: Yay!
killallfags (6): Fuck you to the moon and back.
Identity99 (13): I'm getting to it...I have a voice in my head too. His name is LittleVoice. LittleVoice thanks your little voices. So do I.
Identity99 (12): Thank you! Jack Off Jill is a band and Kurama is just a character from another show. He got a taxi back to his world. He won't be coming back to this story.
purplemusicgoddess: Thank you. Author Alert is where you can get an e-mail saying when a certain author has updated a story. I use it often. Is helpful. You can ban people from reviewing your stories, but not if they're posting anonymously, like that coward is.
raven1322: lol. Thank you.
Raven-Vegeta: I love that song. Thank you!
Da Mann: What do you mean, HAVE ENJOYED?!?! YOU BETTER KEEP ENJOYING. The story isn't over yet. I do believe in a heaven, but I know it's not the one in the song.
EndlessDeviltry: Thanks!
Bilious: Thank you.
Thank you reviewers! Good night, Cleveland!! Well...Arkadelphia...Arkado...Arkadonothing...whichever.