Chapter Fifteen - Londinium
******
A/N - We regret to inform you that due to technical difficulties, there will be no
badger parade. Parade cancelled!
Therefore, could all owls (barn or tawny) please make their way to the stage door.
I would also like to remind any bats here this evening that the electronic equipment
used may interfere with your sophisticated radar system.
Also a big thank you to :
Mari - Well, I don't like to be predictable but it was necessary in this instance.
queen of all the tarts - Eek! Please don't eat me! Hee hee! That was a good one.
Thanks for adding me to your favourites list.
Now on with the story!
******
In the shadows of the castle throne room, two figures watched the scene unfold inside
a glowing crystal that seemed to defy all laws of gravity. Inside it was the distorted
image of the girl and the dwarf cautiously stepping through a dark, swirling portal.
"Gods! What is she DOING!!!" cried Jareth, his tone unwittingly giving away his
anger, fear and confusion in equal measure.
"Well my guess would be that she just made a portal to the Aboveworld." said
Erestine happily. "Aren't you proud?"
"But she's just a child! It's too dangerous. I'm bringing her back, right now!"
"Jareth!" said the Queen Mother and grabbed his arm. "Did it ever occur to you that
this is supposed to happen? That this might be what the prophecy talked about."
"Screw the stupid prophecy! That's my little girl out there!" he shouted and was met
with a triumphant grin from his mother.
"So you do care." she said "I knew it! And for the last time, don't worry. She was
wished to you, so technically you can bring her back whenever you want. Let her have
her little adventure, and if it gets too dangerous then you can interfere."
******
Terry Jones was sitting idly at the top of Primrose Hill with a thermos full of tea and a
Waitrose egg and cress sandwich. He flicked through his script for his new
programme on medieval Britain. It was a beautiful day in London. Ducks were
swimming along the pond and some children were flying a kite nearby. The every day
cacophony of traffic seemed so distant today that they might as well be on another
planet. He was struck quite rudely out of this reverie when a big black whirly thing
appeared out of nowhere a few yards away from where he was sitting and out stepped
a very short and ugly little man followed by a teenage girl in a dirty 18th century
Venetian ballgown! The whirly thing then disappeared and the strange duo began
sprinting to towards the park's exit and out of sight.
He looked down at his thermos. Maybe that tea Michael had brought him back from
Egypt wasn't tea after all.
******
"So! What do we do now?" said Arian as she and Hoggle finally stopped on an
abandoned shady path along the river bank.
"Search me!" said the dwarf.
"But I thought you'd been here before!" she cried with horror.
"Well I thought you'd been here before!" said Hoggle.
"I was eighteen months old, Hogbrain!!" she shouted.
"It's HOGGLE!"
"Oh God! This is bad. I swear, after this, I'll never act on an impulse ever again." said
Arian angrily "Oh well. There's no point in arguing. We'll just have to think of
something."
"Well, for a start, I think ya should use that magic book of yours and get us some
decent disguises." said Hoggle.
"Why's that?"
"In case ya haven't noticed, missy. There ain't no dwarf peasants here, and there ain't
no Goblin princesses in party frocks neither."
Arian scowled. The little sneak had a point but she wasn't going to let him get off that
easily. She pulled out her note pad and pencil and wrote something down. In the blink
of an eye she was dressed like the kids she had seen in the park when they first arrived
with tight blue jeans and a black T-shirt. However her hair stayed as it was and the
pendant her father had given her the night before remained around her neck.
Hoggle looked down and noticed that he was wearing blue shorts, rainbow stripy
T-shirt, black trainers and a sun hat. This was forgotten instantly when he noticed his
hands. What he was used to as being tanned and leathery were now white and pudgy
with youth and for the first time in centuries he had hair!
"What the hell did ya do to me!?!" he cried with panic.
"I couldn't have you arousing suspicion now, could I?" said Arian giving him a look
that
was disturbingly like Jareth's "If anyone asks, you're my five year old brother ...er ...
Freddie."
"This is so humiliating." mumbled the dwarf.
"Would you rather I turned you into a dog? Then at least I wouldn't have to listen to
your complaining."
"No ma'am." said Hoggle sulkily.
******
They wondered the city for hours, exploring mile upon mile of identical streets full of
identical houses line with rows and rows of identical cherry trees. Occasionally they
would come to a bustling high street filled with all kinds of people and shops and
restaurants. Giant mechanical carriages whizzed along the infinite roads or parked in
long queues. Hundreds of tiny greens where men dressed in white tried to hit a leather
ball with a wooden plank. The homeless sold magazines on street corners and gangs
of youths haunted the many derelict housing estates. Arian tried to memorise all the
place names but they were just too confusing. Hammersmith, Twickenham,
Blackfriars, Chiswick, Watford, Kingston, Staines, Richmond...the list went
on forever and none of them were that much different from each other.
"Bloody hell! This place makes the Labyrinth look like a dawdle!" she said to herself.
For the first time in her life she felt lost. That was strange for someone who had been
brought up in a giant maze, but in truth she had always known that nothing bad would
happen to her and that she was never more than twenty miles away from the castle.
Now she felt truly lost and anonymous, which both scared and thrilled her at the same
time. This place was truly fascinating, with its culture and technology.
She had found some money in the street and had instantly set about making some
magic copies of the little pound coin. Things were always easier with currency.
"Do you have any idea where we're going?" said Hoggle who, unlike Arian was
feeling rather uneasy about the whole situation and was not happy when his new
friend began admiring phone booths and parking metres. He had very little to worry
about though, as no one pays attention to anything in London.
"No. Isn't it great!" she replied happily as they reached a set of traffic lights.
"So we're lost?" said Hoggle he familiar cowardice bubbling to the surface.
"I never said we were lost, I just don't know where we're going." she said coolly
"Oooh! Brixton Underground! I wonder what that is." and rushed off in the direction
of the train station.
Arian eyed the grotty little subway station with wonder and almost squealed with
excitement when the 11:15 trundled past.
"Oh Haggle! Let's go on one!" she cried gleefully as the long metal dragon stopped for
its usual exchange for passengers then continued it's long journey through the dark
tunnels on each end of the platform.
"No way! I've looked at too many machines for a lifetime, let alone a mornin'." said
the dwarf.
"Come on! We'll be able to cover more ground." she persisted.
"If we have to, then. But I wants something to eat first. We've been walking for five
hours now!"
Again the dwarf had a point as Arian noticed her own grumbling stomach. They made
their way to a grimy cafe nearby for lunch and to start planning their best course of
action...
******
A/N - We regret to inform you that due to technical difficulties, there will be no
badger parade. Parade cancelled!
Therefore, could all owls (barn or tawny) please make their way to the stage door.
I would also like to remind any bats here this evening that the electronic equipment
used may interfere with your sophisticated radar system.
Also a big thank you to :
Mari - Well, I don't like to be predictable but it was necessary in this instance.
queen of all the tarts - Eek! Please don't eat me! Hee hee! That was a good one.
Thanks for adding me to your favourites list.
Now on with the story!
******
In the shadows of the castle throne room, two figures watched the scene unfold inside
a glowing crystal that seemed to defy all laws of gravity. Inside it was the distorted
image of the girl and the dwarf cautiously stepping through a dark, swirling portal.
"Gods! What is she DOING!!!" cried Jareth, his tone unwittingly giving away his
anger, fear and confusion in equal measure.
"Well my guess would be that she just made a portal to the Aboveworld." said
Erestine happily. "Aren't you proud?"
"But she's just a child! It's too dangerous. I'm bringing her back, right now!"
"Jareth!" said the Queen Mother and grabbed his arm. "Did it ever occur to you that
this is supposed to happen? That this might be what the prophecy talked about."
"Screw the stupid prophecy! That's my little girl out there!" he shouted and was met
with a triumphant grin from his mother.
"So you do care." she said "I knew it! And for the last time, don't worry. She was
wished to you, so technically you can bring her back whenever you want. Let her have
her little adventure, and if it gets too dangerous then you can interfere."
******
Terry Jones was sitting idly at the top of Primrose Hill with a thermos full of tea and a
Waitrose egg and cress sandwich. He flicked through his script for his new
programme on medieval Britain. It was a beautiful day in London. Ducks were
swimming along the pond and some children were flying a kite nearby. The every day
cacophony of traffic seemed so distant today that they might as well be on another
planet. He was struck quite rudely out of this reverie when a big black whirly thing
appeared out of nowhere a few yards away from where he was sitting and out stepped
a very short and ugly little man followed by a teenage girl in a dirty 18th century
Venetian ballgown! The whirly thing then disappeared and the strange duo began
sprinting to towards the park's exit and out of sight.
He looked down at his thermos. Maybe that tea Michael had brought him back from
Egypt wasn't tea after all.
******
"So! What do we do now?" said Arian as she and Hoggle finally stopped on an
abandoned shady path along the river bank.
"Search me!" said the dwarf.
"But I thought you'd been here before!" she cried with horror.
"Well I thought you'd been here before!" said Hoggle.
"I was eighteen months old, Hogbrain!!" she shouted.
"It's HOGGLE!"
"Oh God! This is bad. I swear, after this, I'll never act on an impulse ever again." said
Arian angrily "Oh well. There's no point in arguing. We'll just have to think of
something."
"Well, for a start, I think ya should use that magic book of yours and get us some
decent disguises." said Hoggle.
"Why's that?"
"In case ya haven't noticed, missy. There ain't no dwarf peasants here, and there ain't
no Goblin princesses in party frocks neither."
Arian scowled. The little sneak had a point but she wasn't going to let him get off that
easily. She pulled out her note pad and pencil and wrote something down. In the blink
of an eye she was dressed like the kids she had seen in the park when they first arrived
with tight blue jeans and a black T-shirt. However her hair stayed as it was and the
pendant her father had given her the night before remained around her neck.
Hoggle looked down and noticed that he was wearing blue shorts, rainbow stripy
T-shirt, black trainers and a sun hat. This was forgotten instantly when he noticed his
hands. What he was used to as being tanned and leathery were now white and pudgy
with youth and for the first time in centuries he had hair!
"What the hell did ya do to me!?!" he cried with panic.
"I couldn't have you arousing suspicion now, could I?" said Arian giving him a look
that
was disturbingly like Jareth's "If anyone asks, you're my five year old brother ...er ...
Freddie."
"This is so humiliating." mumbled the dwarf.
"Would you rather I turned you into a dog? Then at least I wouldn't have to listen to
your complaining."
"No ma'am." said Hoggle sulkily.
******
They wondered the city for hours, exploring mile upon mile of identical streets full of
identical houses line with rows and rows of identical cherry trees. Occasionally they
would come to a bustling high street filled with all kinds of people and shops and
restaurants. Giant mechanical carriages whizzed along the infinite roads or parked in
long queues. Hundreds of tiny greens where men dressed in white tried to hit a leather
ball with a wooden plank. The homeless sold magazines on street corners and gangs
of youths haunted the many derelict housing estates. Arian tried to memorise all the
place names but they were just too confusing. Hammersmith, Twickenham,
Blackfriars, Chiswick, Watford, Kingston, Staines, Richmond...the list went
on forever and none of them were that much different from each other.
"Bloody hell! This place makes the Labyrinth look like a dawdle!" she said to herself.
For the first time in her life she felt lost. That was strange for someone who had been
brought up in a giant maze, but in truth she had always known that nothing bad would
happen to her and that she was never more than twenty miles away from the castle.
Now she felt truly lost and anonymous, which both scared and thrilled her at the same
time. This place was truly fascinating, with its culture and technology.
She had found some money in the street and had instantly set about making some
magic copies of the little pound coin. Things were always easier with currency.
"Do you have any idea where we're going?" said Hoggle who, unlike Arian was
feeling rather uneasy about the whole situation and was not happy when his new
friend began admiring phone booths and parking metres. He had very little to worry
about though, as no one pays attention to anything in London.
"No. Isn't it great!" she replied happily as they reached a set of traffic lights.
"So we're lost?" said Hoggle he familiar cowardice bubbling to the surface.
"I never said we were lost, I just don't know where we're going." she said coolly
"Oooh! Brixton Underground! I wonder what that is." and rushed off in the direction
of the train station.
Arian eyed the grotty little subway station with wonder and almost squealed with
excitement when the 11:15 trundled past.
"Oh Haggle! Let's go on one!" she cried gleefully as the long metal dragon stopped for
its usual exchange for passengers then continued it's long journey through the dark
tunnels on each end of the platform.
"No way! I've looked at too many machines for a lifetime, let alone a mornin'." said
the dwarf.
"Come on! We'll be able to cover more ground." she persisted.
"If we have to, then. But I wants something to eat first. We've been walking for five
hours now!"
Again the dwarf had a point as Arian noticed her own grumbling stomach. They made
their way to a grimy cafe nearby for lunch and to start planning their best course of
action...