Things Change
Chapter Ten

Buffy stared at the scene on her couch.

Chrissy was snuggled against Spike, her legs drawn up onto the couch beside her. Spike's head was titled back, his eyes closed peacefully. Todd was on Spike's other side and his head cushioned on the arm of the couch. The TV blared and Buffy guessed what had happened. She turned the TV off and twitched the curtains more tightly closed and smiled to herself as she walked into the kitchen. She briefly wondered why Edward hadn't called and when he would be back, but her mind was too full of the events of the last few days.

She always knew he would come back, even when he left the previous morning she knew he'd come back. She just never expected Chrissy to be snuggled up with him on the couch.

It was something she had often imagined. She and Spike holding the baby twins with Dawn skirting them cheerfully.

Buffy and Spike with the two-year-old twins at Dawn's after Graduation party.

Spike and Buffy getting their children ready for their first day at school….

It was all a blur of memories that weren't and wishes that they had been.

That had been her life for so long. She always knew she wanted him to come home. She remembered times when Chrissy was being particularly stubborn or Todd was asking questions she had no answers to. Then she would press her hand to her forehead, close her eyes and mutter his name, as if he would magically appear to set things right. He would roll his eyes at Chrissy's pout and use that strange charm of his to persuade her to put her shoes on or brush her hair. Then he would sit his son down and talk to him seriously, answer each question as best he could.

And when the twins and Dawn were safely tucked up in bed, he would take her hand, pull her out of the kitchen - where she always imagined she would be - and guide her to the couch. There they would snuggle and murmur soft words to each other. There would be no fights, no sex. No more sex, but the lovemaking would come later and they would no longer live in the shadow of the violent, unfeeling experiences of the past. And the only thing in those early hours would be them, the two of them, the couple, the parents.

"Penny for 'em."

She started and the mug she had absent-mindedly pulled from the cupboard dropped to the floor, shattering. She turned slowly and looked at the man who spoke. He fidgeted uncomfortably and the look on her face made his chest constrict.

"Let it go… Let yourself love me…"

"Stop it… please… stop…"

"Buffy," he started. "I didn't mean…" he suddenly realised his words echoed those uttered on the last night he saw her, sixteen years ago.

"Spike," she croaked. "I didn't hear you…"

"I, uh…" his voice tailed off and he came forward slowly to crouch at her feet and pick up the pieces of the shattered mug.

She wondered why she had looked at him so strangely. She had forgiven him a long time ago for what had happened between them; she had forgiven him when she admitted she wanted him around. She understood his discomfort and crouched in front of him. Her hands covered his and he stopped and sighed.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Sssh," she answered. "It doesn't matter. None of it matters… not now."

"I - I didn't mean… I never meant…"

"Spike," she snapped. "Stop it. Be the Spike I knew."

He looked up at her.

"The Spike you knew hurt you," he answered quietly.

"Not the Spike I knew before I died. That Spike tried to save my sister and looked after her all summer because of a promise he had made to a dead woman. I liked that Spike. That Spike was… Spike."

He looked away and shook his head. Losing patience, she grabbed his chin and pulled it around to face her.

"Don't you get it?" she asked. "What I'm trying to say is I loved that Spike!" His eyes widened and his lips twisted into a small smile as she continued. "And when I came back, I loved you. I didn't love what we did to each other. I lost all that love. Then when you left, I imagined how it could have been if I hadn't been so wrapped up in my friends' opinions and if I hadn't kept denying it. In some ways, it was my fault, in some ways it was your fault, but it was always our fault. All this time you've been gone, I loved you and now you're here, I don't want you to leave, I want my kids to have a family."

"I -" he didn't get to finish because she had pressed her lips to his in a strong, but tender kiss.

"See," Chrissy remarked to her brother as they watched through their fingers from the doorway. "This is why I reckon the sooner we move out, the better."

"And that's what happened?" Todd asked.

"Uh huh," Buffy said, squeezing Spike's hand.

As one, Buffy, Spike, Dawn and Todd turned to look at a scowling Chrissy. Spike and Buffy had just related what had happened between them. They had decided that the twins deserved to know what happened. They had left out the attempted rape and had watered down the rest, but it was all there. Willow and Xander had been sworn into the agreement and even Xander agreed not to blab about the incident in the bathroom.

"Chrissy?" Dawn asked. "What's wrong?"

"How could you?" Chrissy asked. "How could you?"

"How could we what?" Buffy asked warily.

"Not 'we,' Mom, you. How could you?"

"Chrissy, what the hell are you talking about?" Todd demanded.

"How could you make out that Angel was the big love of your life when it's soooo obvious that Dad is? I mean, sure you hurt each other, but you always hurt the one you love, you told me that."

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief and looked at a shocked Spike.

"You told her that?" he asked.

"I passed the message along," she answered with a warm smile that made Dawn, Todd and Chrissy roll their eyes.

"But that's the way they were," Dawn added. "Now they're… what are you?"

Buffy looked at Spike and he smiled and kissed her cheek.

"Parents," he said proudly.

"Oh, great," Chrissy muttered.

"Double the authority," Todd added. "Twice as much yelling. Twice as much grounding."

"You two are obsessed with grounding!" Spike said good-naturedly.

"That's 'cause they're a couple of trouble-makers," Buffy teased.

Chrissy threw a cushion at her and a pillow fight ensued. The bell rang and Dawn gave an excited squeal and ran to answer it. Spike watched as everyone ran after them to the door, he watched from the floor as two people entered the house, hidden by hugs.

"Spike."

Spike stared up at Anya who was frowning down at him.

"Anya," he said, glad he couldn't blush. "How are you?"

"Totally over the sex thing. And you? Nice soul, by the way."

"Uh, thanks. And over it too."

"Spike," Dawn said, dragging the dark haired, laughing man forward. "This is Josh."

"Hi," he said. "I've heard so much about you."

"Wish I could say the same," Spike answered, standing to shake his hand.

"I just hope you don't beat me into a bloody pulp," Josh laughed uncomfortably.

"He doesn't do that anymore, Josh," Chrissy said.

"What are they doing here?" Spike hissed as he handed Buffy a plate.

"Where have you been, Spike?" she asked. "Hello, wedding, ring any bells?"

"And she invited Anya?"

"They're roomies."

"Oh, yeah, I remember she told me."

Buffy glanced at him and wiped her hands on the seat of her jeans.

She understood his discomfort. She wasn't entirely comfortable with the ''us'' thing either. She didn't even know how it had happened. All she could remember was knowing she missed him more than she had ever missed anyone, wanting to have the confidant, smirking Spike back and wanting to feel his lips again.

Next thing she knew, she was living her dream. She didn't know when she made the decision to approach him, although she hadn't yet said, "I love you," she had said she had loved him. Things were progressing nicely, family unit with kids and loving parents. Parents who not only loved their children, but each other too. She admitted she loved him, that he loved her. Now she slipped her arms around his waist, aware he was startled by this unfamiliar gesture of affection.

"You're coming?" she asked.

"To the wedding? If I'm invited."

"Of course you are. It's in a couple of weeks and Giles'll be here in two days."

He kissed her nose and she giggled, hearing the groans from the living room concerning their behaviour.

Buffy Summers was truly happy.

She was in the arms of the man she loved; there was no big bad to mar the preparation for the wedding; her children were well and liked their dad; her surrogate father was coming to visit.

And finally she had a date who would appreciate how damned sexy she looked in the dress she had picked for the wedding.