"Maybe I'll finally get a chance to get out and have some fun while I'm away," Ratnena said aloud while she finished packing her bag for the trip to Denon. Ratnena was mostly babbling to herself as she moved around the small quarters picking up equipment, supplies and clothing that she would need while her and Little Brother worked on getting the rest of the information out of the Galactic Alliance Military computers that would give them enough synthetic-rope to hang a few more traitors. They were close, very close, to finally being done with this assignment. For almost a year now, they had been hiding and sneaking around the galaxy trying to find enough pieces that would allow the Wraiths to return for the dead and present their cases to the Chief of State. "Do you want me to pick up anything special while I am there? You know a blond or brown hair male?"
Ratnena glanced over at the other person in her room. Tahiri sat quietly on her bunk, legs crossed and eyes closed neither acknowledging Ratnena nor her comments. Letting out a mental sigh she continued to talk about anything that popped into her head as she finished packing. For three days now, Tahiri hasn't said a whole lot to anyone. She would do her duties, sit with Ratnena during meals and in their, alleged, off time but she never said anything. She would just sit there, with her eyes closed, and meditate. It didn't bother Ratnena, much, because she knew that when the kid was ready to talk she would and pushing her may not be the best idea in the world. Ratnena had figured that out by the reaction Tahiri had when she read that thingy she got from Fusty. Tahiri took it really hard when she found out that the Rogue Yuuzhan Vong had killed every one they called 'Shamed' outright without a benefit of a trail or hearing.
"Or I could bring you back a monkey lizard, they're not as cute as a guy but a lot smarter and easier to train," Ratnena said sitting down across from Tahiri after she finished packing and unwrapping one of her sweet sticks. Again, Tahiri said nothing nor did she seem to hear anything and again Ratnena didn't push the issue. As she started rambling on about anything, Ratnena was kind of surprise that she wasn't pushing it. Being warm and fuzzy was not something that she did a lot. Usually she was doing her best to dig and prod until she got want she wanted, no matter how much it may hurt the person. Must be the Vong's influence, she thought warily. That got a small reaction out of Tahiri; a hint of a smile crossed her face. Not missing a beat in her mindless drone, Ratnena stuck her tongue out at Tahiri and got a bigger smile. As Tahiri schooled her expression back to one of impassivity Ratnena was amazed how good it felt to win a smile from her friend.
Which in it self was a huge miracle since it has been years since she cared a millimeter about anyone outside her family. Even her gang that she ran with back home was not people that she cared about at all; they were just people she could use until she found something better. In addition, until she joined the Wraiths, her military career had pretty much been as it had been on the streets. Mostly fighting off men, sometimes literally, who, for reasons she never believed, thought she was the most desirable woman they had ever met. Receiving hostile stares or worst from jealous females who, for some reason, always thought she was going to 'steal their man', not that any of them were worth having anyways. She didn't like people and had very little use for them but they also never took her serious or respected her and she hated that feeling of being a trophy that some male would parade around to show up his friends. Moreover, no matter how hard she tried she could never get anyone to see her, as she really was not what they wanted. Is it any wonder I lashed out so much, Ratnena thought bitterly, is it any wonder I can't stand men, especially after He …
That thought got a huge reaction out of Tahiri, her greens eyes popped open for the first time in hours and a sad look raced across her face. Tahiri didn't say anything but her eyes held warmth and compassion in them, so much that it made Ratnena blush and look away. Ratnena started getting embarrassed by her blushing, which turn to shame then anger in a heartbeat.
"Don't look at me like that," she growled out not looking back. Even not looking at Tahiri, she felt the younger woman watching her, not pushing but letting Ratnena know she was there for her. It's been ten years, old girl, nothing to get upset about anyways HE … again anger spiked through her like a red-hot laser shot. She glanced at Tahiri and saw that she still watched her, not moving or saying anything, just being there letting Ratnena she was there for her. Ratnena thrust her face inches away from Tahiri's face and gave her a hard cold stare. "Look Jedi it is nothing, understand" she said in the coldest voice she could muster, "so just mind your own damn business, got it?" Ratnena felt ashamed for saying that, then she was angry at herself for being ashamed, angry at Tahiri for caring, ashamed for treating her only friend like that and angry at HIM. Angry at the whole universe that could careless about one young woman.
Moreover, Tahiri, who no doubt, could feel all this rolling out of Ratnena like a tide wave of despair sat there unmoving letting her friend know she was still there for her. Again, her emotions went on a roller coaster ride at light speed. Anger, despair, joy, fear and back again, on each dip anger was building. She'll hurt me just like the others, Ratnena thought which was quickly followed up by; she not going to hurt me, Tahiri is my friend! Like HE was? Friends don't exist, it's a rancor eat rancor world out there! Use them then lose them, safer that way, better that way! Up and down Ratnena's emotions went till self-anger was ready to boil out of her like some volcano ready to explode and the whole time Tahiri sat across from her, Ratnena's face so close to her she could almost touch Tahiri's nose with her own, not moving or saying a word. She was just there for Ratnena in her own silent way.
"Well, aren't you going to say anything? Come on I know you know what I'm thinking! Go ahead and say it, you think I'm a freak don't you?" Ratnena leaned in even closer to Tahiri, "I know what you're thinking Jedi, that I am not as good as you, that I am not good enough to be anything! Well, I have news for you I am as good as you are, in fact I am better then you … you FREAK! If anyone around her is a FREAK, it is you! Your sitting there boo-hooing over a bunch of worthless scar heads! Uh Jedi, you think that makes you better person! You and your damn smug self over there judging all us poor inferior mortals that need you and your poo-doo kind to care for us! Well if you think that you freak you can think again, I don't need YOU! I don't need anyone do you hear me? DO you hear me FREAK!" All through the yelling and screaming Tahiri never moved a muscle or blink an eye, which just infuriated Ratnena even more. With a wordless shrike, she launched herself at Tahiri.
Ratnena didn't know what happened next, all she knew is somehow Tahiri, small little Tahiri, had pinned her to her bunk face down with her arms beneath her. Tahiri wasn't fighting her, just keeping her wrapped in a tight embrace so she couldn't hurt herself. She kept screaming and trying to get lose but to no avail. That just made her fight harder, figuring Tahiri must be using the Force to hold her down. Ratnena had no idea how long she fought; all she knew was that the rage in her just kept building and building until … suddenly she was exhausted. And to her mortification, she started crying like a little girl. Ratnena tried to fight again, to get away, so no one could see her being so weak, so pathetic. Still, Tahiri refused to let her go she just embraced her more.
"I am not a freak," Ratnena whispered out, half hoping Tahiri wouldn't hear her.
"No, you are a hero," Tahiri whispered back. Ratnena shook her head to deny what Tahiri said but the Jedi just ignored her, "you've saved my life several times now. Without you, we would all be dead and the forces of evil we are trying to stop would have no one to oppose them. I pray to the gods every day in thanks that they allowed you to be here with me, to allow me to have a friend like you."
"No," Ratnena moaned out along with the tears, she was a nothing couldn't Tahiri see that.
"Not since Anakin have I been so blessed as to have a friend like you, it is I who don't deserve a friend like you."
That made Ratnena cry even harder although she didn't understand why; she also started to feel as if a great weight was slowly leaving her body. Moreover, she was tired, so bone wearily tired, that she could do nothing but lay there and cry. Therefore, that is what she did until she finally fell asleep.
Tahiri pulled a blanket over her friend as Rat finally fell asleep. Tahiri had always felt a burning ball of rage just beneath Ratnena's facade that she presented to the world but she never thought it was that deep or that strong. It had taking Ratnena about a half hour for her to burn herself out, although it felt like hours to Tahiri. Reaching down to pick up the sweet stick Ratnena had dropped earlier Tahiri had some dark thoughts of her own about who ever it was that hurt her friend like this. Who ever this 'he' is had better hope for two things, Tahiri thought getting up to dispose of the sweet stick, he better hope that he never crosses my path or he better have some fas good health plan. Tahiri looked back at her sleeping friend one last time before walking out of her room.
As Tahiri walked down the steps down to the ground floor, she saw all of the Wraiths and droids, except for Commander Loran, Major Tainer and Eyeball whom were out on a mission, waiting down below for her. Major SaBinring and Dr. Targon didn't look very happy with her, not that she really could blame them since she had hit them with a Force blast to keep them out of the room. The rest just gave her questioning looks, the general feeling she was getting that they were concern for Ratnena health not the suspicion she would have received when they first joined the Wraiths. That would please Ratnena to know when she woke up.
"Sir," Tahiri said when she reached the floor and coming to attention in front of Major SaBinring.
"How is she, Flight Officer Tahiri," Major SaBinring asked, Tahiri always had some trouble understanding the emotions he gave off and right now was no exception.
"Sir, she is sleeping right now," Tahiri said hoping she wouldn't have to give out too much information in front of everyone.
"Were either of you physical hurt," Dr. Targon asked, he was being a doctor now, and she could hear that much in his voice.
"No sir, I was able to keep her from doing any harm," Tahiri answered truthfully. Physically neither one of them was harmed, emotionally was a different story but he didn't ask about that. "She is just very tired right now and needs some sleep. When she wakes up she will be ready for her mission."
"I guess we could postpone the mission for a few hours," Master Sarkin said. Both majors shot her a look that suggested that she was speaking out of turn. Master Sarkin glared back unflinching, "don't give me that look Piggy. We need her on this mission."
"Are you sure you can trust her on this mission," Lt. Gillian asked from the back of the group, "what if she flips out while you guys are there."
"Ma'am she won't have another attack while they are there, this was just a isolated episode."
"Really Tahiri, did you get a medical degree when I wasn't looking?" Dr. Targon asked sarcastically. Shaking his head he continued, "I need to give her a full exam before I release her for any more missions."
"Mission is scrubbed then," Major SaBinring said, "until Face gets back and he can decided what to do."
"Sir, you can't do that!"
"Flight Officer Tahiri, we need to make sure she is fit for duty …"
"Rat is fit, sir!"
"Her screaming was heard all over this base, Tahiri!" Major SaBinring snapped back, "she was violent and out of control. Admit it you had to use the Force to keep her from hurting you!"
"Sir, if you take her off this mission you will destroy her," Tahiri responded, ignoring the last statement he made. She really didn't want to admit that he was right. "She just lost control for a moment, she has a lot of problems she is working through …"
"Then she can work on them here not on Denon," Major SaBinring said, "I can't risk the mission on someone who is not mentally together. How can I trust a person on a mission like this one who is unstable?"
"Lara," Master Sarkin said coming over to stand next to Tahiri. She saw both Dr. Targon and Major SaBinring both jerked as if she shot them.
"These are two different situations Jedi Girl," Runt said. Master Sarkin looked over at Runt, not saying a word. Runt, after a few minutes, shook his head and added, "Ok maybe a little but …"
"But nothing, Runt. Look there is no one else here who can make computers dance like Ratnena can and she is the only one who can pull this mission off." Master Sarkin said, "the girl, hell you all, have been under tremendous amount of pressure here for months. A lot more pressure then we were ever under as new Wraiths. At least at that time we had friendly bases we could count on for help or to relax on. We didn't have everyone in the galaxy out to get us. I say we still 'go' I trust her to complete the mission."
"Sir," Tahiri said in a soft gentle voice, "we have to ask the question that needs answering. It is not whether or not we trust her, it is how could we have gotten this far without trusting her."
"Tyria and Tahiri, maybe you are both right but I can't in good faith as a doctor release someone who is a danger to herself, let alone to others on her team." Dr. Targon said in a tone that was as strong as steel. Tahiri started to say more but was stopped by Master Sarkin placing her hand on her shoulder.
"Charm Boy if you can't trust the word of two Jedi, then who could you trust?"
"We don't have that much time to give you a complete list, Jedi Girl," Major SaBinring said with a sigh, "but if Charm Boy doesn't release her the mission is scrubbed, understand."
"Yes sir," both Tahiri and the older Jedi said together. Tahiri added, "thank you sir. If you don't mind sir I would like to stay with her until she is awake."
"Just makes sure Charm Boy sees her as soon as she wakes up, understand?"
"Yes sir," Tahiri saluted and headed back up the stairs with the feeling that of all the battles she has fought this was the biggest victory she has achieved.
"Well, it could be worst I guess," Face said while taking a sip from his drink. Kell and him were making their final approach to "Hawk-Base" after spending three days at Nova Station with Eyeball. They wanted to see what kind of reception would have been waiting for Tahiri if they had decided to let her show up. Nothing had jumped out at them that would make them suspect that the Yuuzhan Vong were ready to destroy the entire station if she had shown up. Eyeball had identified one freighter as being registered to a known Peace Brigade member docked at the station. Kell and he had seen one or two lowlifes hanging around the Big Boom watching the table that they had marked as the one the coordinates gave. It had almost gone completely routine until the appointed hour arrived and a problem walked in to the bar.
"Why do you supposed they were there anyways," Kell said for the 15th time.
"Beats me," Face said with a sigh, "but that was a Noghri disguised as a Jawa and he was watching everyone but Han and Leia." Face being who Face was could tell lot about a person by their body language, even what planet they were from or species they were. When the Noghri walked into the cantina, his or her body language was most definably not that of a Jawa. After watching him it was easy to see whom the Noghri was protecting, Han just made it easier since he wasn't in that of elaborate of a disguise. Leia, it had to be Leia since where one was the other wasn't that far behind, was more made up making it harder to recognize her. That only made sense since Leia, being a Jedi and more importantly, a formal Chief of State and long time Senator, would be easier for most beings to notice her. "Maybe they were just passing through."
"Maybe," Kell didn't sound all that convinced either. Jedi rarely just showed up were the action was by chance. "Well we have three weeks to decided if we want to make the Tatooine meeting or not."
"And set up security for her too," Face said as he sent the command to the environmental doors protecting the hanger to open. As he guided the shuttle through the opening, he asked Kell who their best sniper was.
"Peacekeeper," he said with a snort, "she is at the top of list for everything but computers and fixing things."
As he landed the shuttle, he saw Piggy and Tahiri walk out from the trench to meet them.
"Tyria's ship is missing," Kell said in what he tried to make sound like a off the cuff statement but Face knew his friend was going to worry about his family until they got back. "Prankster better behave herself while they are gone."
"I wouldn't worry about her, you did a good job of straighten her out." Face said as he shut down the ship. "Eyeball make sure all your files are downloaded in to the bases main computer. We want to check and make sure we id all the bad guys."
Eyeball beeped once, a code that meant yes, and head towards the landing ramp. Eyeball had done a excellent job while on their mission, not as proficient as Little Brother, but he did a good enough job to protect their backs from the shuttle.
"Well lets go see what has gone wrong since we been gone," Kell said getting up from the co-pilots seat.
As the three walked down the ramp, Face noticed that Tahiri was fidgeting a bit more then was her norm, probably wondering if she could go on her mission, Face thought. Piggy seemed to be nervous about something also, which surprise Face a bit.
"Welcome home, sirs," Piggy said as both he and Peacekeeper came to attention.
"What's gone wrong," Kell asked returning their salutes. Face saw them both look even more guilty, especially Tahiri.
"Sirs, Squeaky has made some dinner for you, if you will follow us you can eat while we brief you," Tahiri said.
"Trying to bribe us, Peacekeeper," Face asked after exchanging looks with Kell. The bigger man just shrugged his shoulders as if too say 'why not'. Letting out another sigh, Face waved the group out into the trench, "at least we will be well fed when we get what ever bad news you have for us."
The food they had was very good; Squeaky had really out done himself this time, Face thought as Piggy went through the routine news first. So far, the officials at Halmad, the system that they were located in, still seem to be clueless that the Wraiths were back. They had set up a series of satellites to beam news and senor returns to their base to keep an eye on their neighbors. One of the concern Face had was that someone would stumble across one of their flights in and out of 'Hawk Base' but their luck seems to be holding in that department. The next item was the need to get more supplies; Face knew that was coming up between the actions around Denon and Tahiri's appetite they would have to make a run soon.
"Have they fixed the Sunrise?" Face asked.
"Yes sir, new transponders and the works."
"Have Road Kill, Shalla, Sparks and Boom-boom head out in the morning. Just foodstuff, fuel and replacement parts, no weapons on this trip. We can get the extra torpedoes from the spear X-wings here."
"You want Squeak to head out with them?"
"No," Face said shaking his head, "nor any of the droids. I want them here working on the Sunset and Squeaky s going to be needed here with us as we plan out the trip to Tatooine."
"So we are going to Tatooine," Peacekeeper asked.
"Yep, which is why you're staying here also. You are from there and it will be your butt on the line I want you to have as much say as possible in what we do."
"The other kids can handle their part without much trouble," Kell said moving his plate out of his way and leaned forward, "now what are you guys hiding?"
"We had a incident with Prankster," Piggy said.
"It was no big deal sir," Tahiri jumping in ignoring the look Kell gave her.
"What sort of problem?"
"We aren't sure what caused it, sir. But Ratnena started yelling and tried to attack Tahiri."
"She didn't try to attack me sir," Tahiri shooting a look at Piggy, "she just was releasing some stress."
"The entire base heard her releasing 'some stress' Flight Officer Tahiri," Piggy said shooting her a look of his own. "If you hadn't been using the Force you would have been hurt."
"Rat wouldn't hurt me on propose sir," Tahiri said and by her tone she truly believed that statement.
"Where is she now," Kell asked sounding concern. Face had a good idea where he wanted her to be, in medical under observation but he knew what he wanted was not always the same as what he got.
"Elassar examined her and then released her to leave with the Denon team," Piggy said not looking at Kell.
"SHE DID WHAT!" Kell said half rising out of his seat.
"Easy Kell," Face said then looked over at Tahiri, whose mouth was half open to say something, "Flight Officer Tahiri, unless you want to spend the rest of your tour as the head lifeguard on Hoth you'll keep quiet!" Face then turned to Piggy, "Piggy, you know what kind of time bomb she is. Why did you let her go to Denon."
"I didn't have much choice Face," Piggy said looking very uncomfortable, "we need that information if we are going to complete this mission. Except for Ghent, I have never seen or heard of anyone who can make a computer dance like she can. If anyone can get the information we need, it would be her." Piggy then looked over at Kell, "Tyria didn't help any when she kept remind me of Lara and she was quite willing to take her along as was your son."
Kell sat back down mumbling something about crazy Jedi and then asked if Piggy had briefed Tyria about Ratnena's history.
"Yes, but that just made her want to take Ratnena along even more," Piggy said holding out his hands as if to say 'what else could I do'. "After I told her, she agreed with Tahiri that they had to take her along or it would cause more problems down the road. And she also remind Elassar and I about some of the more colorful members of the Wraith squadron and how Wedge would takes chances with us that no one else would have."
"She would have to bring that up wouldn't she," Kell said sounding a bit calmer then he had a few minutes ago.
Face had to admit that Tyria had a point, many of the first couple of years the Wraiths had more then their share of walking time bombs and if anyone knew how to deal with them it was Tyria. "What did Elassar say was her problem?"
"He thinks she was just stressed due to our mission," Piggy said, "and he has a point. These kids have been under a lot of pressure since joining without much off time to relax."
"Yea," Face answered without knowing what to do about that, "I don't suppose Runt has any ideas on what to do?"
"As a matter of fact sir he does," Piggy said with a secret smile, "he just wants to wait till everyone is back."
"Good," Face knew if anyone could throw a party that would help the kids relax it would be Runt. "Now then Flight Officer Tahiri, do you have anything to add?"
"Just this sir, Rat would rather cut off her own arm then disappoint either you or Major Tainer. She looks up to you two and believes you saved her life by letting her join the Wraiths. What happened was just a isolated event and won't happen again."
"What did happen anyways?"
"Sir, I … I don't really know."
"Then how do you know she won't go nuts again?"
"Because it wasn't directed at any of us," Tahiri said with a far away look in her eyes, "she has told me a lot about her past. Something happened to her when she was about 12 that traumatize her severely and started her down this path of self-destruction. She still won't tell me what it was and I haven't really pushed her much on it but when she was screaming, she kept yelling about 'him'."
"Him," Face and the other two all exchanged looks. Ratnena somewhat violent reactions to men just came a little clearer, "who is him?"
"I don't know sir, I had Little Brother do a quick check of her records. She had been in them and made hash of her personal records from the age 13 and back. All I was able to get was that she went to a private school from the time she was 3 till she left, no reason given, at 13."
"I don't suppose you made any hard copies from the last time you fixed her recorders," Face asked Kell.
"Nope, Nitro had a back up copy but well …" Nitro was Kell's personal droid that was destroyed when the Wraith base on Borleias was attacked.
"Yea, guess next time we need to make multiple copies," Face said.
"She had done this before?" Tahiri said looking at each of the superior officers in turn.
"Every chance she gets," Face answered, "ok there not much we can do except keep a extra eye on her when she gets back."
"Yes sir, I'll be glad to do that for you," Tahiri said eagerly. Face and Kell both exchanged looks, Face still wasn't sure if it was a good idea having the two most violent people in the squadron acting as relief vales for each other. "Don't worry about me sir, I can keep her in line. After all I did calm her down after she …"
"After she what, Flight Officer Tahiri," Face asked when she broke off and started blushing.
"Well sir, um … one night after we all got here she was um bored and sort of looked through all the files and sort of came across the plan you and Major Tainer had about keeping a eye on her and me." Tahiri said going crimson and started squirming in her seat. Face and Kell both had a hard time keeping their faces straight, they often wondered if those two would ever figure it out. "I was able to show her the bright side about receiving … you know … special training at the hands of two of the most experience …"
"Enough buttering us up, Flight Officer Tahiri. You are excused and before you go off shift tonight make sure a order is logged that we have a briefing right after morning meal." After she saluted and fled, Face turned to the other two with a questioning look on his face. "Whose bright idea was it to recruit a Jedi anyways?"
"Hey I wanted that nice little kitten but no you just had to be the first to get a Jedi," Kell said straight face, then turn to Piggy, "are you sure she was fit to leave."
"I hate to admit it but I think Tyria and Tahiri were right, she needed to go on this mission. Ratnena was very quiet after that happened as if she was afraid everyone here would want to get rid of her. No one gave her a hard time and that didn't have anything to do with her past, even Shalla was concern. However, she needed to prove to herself that she is still needed and wanted around here. Denon is supposed to be low stress, an easy in and out without much chance of detection. If there is any problem Tyria and Little Brother can handle it."
"Well guess we find out when they get back," Kell said getting up and heading to his quarters with Piggy following him out.
As Face stood up and cleaned up the table, he hoped that all the trust they had placed in Ratnena wouldn't come back to bite them at the wrong time.