Title: Sex Triangle
Pairing: HP/NT/SS + HP/others + R/H
Summary: It's Harry's sixth year, and when it begins, Harry thinks it will just be another year of fighting evil and bad things happening. However, when Harry's self-confidence gets a boost (with the help of the Weasley twins), he starts to see life in a whole new light. Of course, being overly confident can land you in a lot of trouble, as Harry learns the hard way. So can accepting help from Fred and George...
"Well, it's getting late Parvati. I think I'll go to bed. G'night." He bent over and kissed her chastely on the lips, then strutted to his own room and went to bed. Some time before he fell asleep he grew anxious over what he had done. He tried not the ruin the happy feeling he had and stopped thinking about it. Shortly after he drifted off.
The Burrow, mid June.
"Hermione? You in there?" called Ron as he knocked on the bathroom door. He could hear the shower running, and he wondered if she could hear him at all. He knocked again, louder, and the water was shut off. There was a shuffling. The door opened, and Ginny poked her head out. Her hair was plastered down her back and Ron could see the steam rising off her. Having grown up with each other, both were completely comfortable and not in the least bit self-conscious. "Oh, sorry Gin. I thought Hermione was in there. Do you know where she is?" Ginny shook her head.
"Nope. Sorry. Bye." She shut the door and moments later the shower went on again. Ron shrugged and walked off, but just as he was turning the corner he could have sworn he heard Ginny giggle. He paused, and hearing muffled sounds coming from the bathroom, returned to investigate. He pressed his ear to the door.
"Ohhhhh...like that. That feels so good. Oh. Oh. Ugh." He continued to hear noises like this. With no end in sight, he pulled away. Bloody hell!! She's got a guy in there! he thought. He walked down to the kitchen with his eyes wide open in shock and his mouth agape. He sat down at the kitchen table and thought over what he had heard. He had, until now, always thought of his sister as an innocent little girl with a crush on Harry. The revelation that she was up there (probably) shagging some guy came as a great surprise. Surprise quickly turned to jealously, as it would with most guys. He was still a virgin! And yet his younger sister was having the time of her life with someone! And who knew how long she'd been at it? Maybe months? Years even! He glared at the clock on the wall, and flinched when he saw that Ginny's hand was on shower. She was doing it with some guy in the shower! He brooded for several minutes, and resolved to find Hermione, as she was the only thing that might distract him.
His mother walked into the kitchen, said hello, and got on to cleaning. "Hey mam, have you seen Hermione?"
"She's in the shower, dear," she called over her shoulder. Ron rolled his eyes.
"No, Ginny's-" Ron broke off as realisation came over him. It took him several minutes to grasp the concept. He was shell shocked. "Holy fuck," he whispered.
"Language Ron Weasley!" scolded his mother crossly.
Ron spent the rest of the holidays spying on the two girls, trying to catch them in the act, but not once after the shower incident did he find any evidence to support his assumptions. Hermione even had her own room while she was staying with the Weasleys. By the time it was time to go back to school, he was actually sick and tired of trying to find out what had happened. He reasoned that perhaps it wasn't Hermione in with Ginny, and that his mother was simply mistaken. Or that maybe it was a one-time thing, and meant nothing.
If it had been any other girls he knew, he would have thought it cool beyond belief, but the fact that it was his sister and the girl that he thought he loved spoiled it. What if Hermione likes my sister more than me? Ron would constantly wonder...
...Just as he was wondering now, as he paced the Gryffindor common room. When he had rescued Hermione from falling to her death, he realised just how much he cared for her. The look she had given him was one of pure love. Or at least that's what he wanted to think. When they had landed on the thestral Hermione had her arms tightly around Ron, and her face buried in his hair. The look she had given him when he helped her down from the winged beast made him want to propose to her then and there.
And now that both his other friends, Neville and Harry, were seeing people, he felt that the time was right to tell Hermione how he felt about her.
Ron gathered his courage and made his way to the girl's dorms. He knew where Hermione's room was, as he had seen it once on the marauders map. He knocked, and the door opened a second later. Hermione looked surprised, but invited him in nonetheless. He sat down on the bed, but leapt up as soon as he did, thinking that such a gesture might be coming on too strong. He started to pace.
"Hey Hermione." His palms began to sweat.
"Hey Ron," she replied lightly. She tiled her head to the side. "Is there something the matter?" she asked, detecting his anxiety.
"No. Well, yeah But no too. First I want to ask you a question that I've been wondering for ages. Ever since you and Ginny were in the bathroom together," Ron managed to get out nervously. He was risking a lot on this gamble. If it turned out that Hermione really wasn't there, then he'd be written off as a pervert. On the other hand, if she really were, he'd be written off as a peeping tom, and a pervert. He scrutinised her expression very closely, and noticed her swallow nervously.
"How do you know about that?" she asked wearily. Ron could have jumped for joy. So she really had been in there! Ron told her how he had been looking for her, and of the noises he heard, and of all his suspicions.
Hermione was thinking about what Ron's inquiry could mean. In fact, she had been testing out a back rub charm on Ginny that she had invented herself. She was deeply amused at the conclusions that Ron had jumped to. And a little confused. At one point, she thought that Ron had liked her, but as time went on and the years passed without Ron asking her out, she had assumed that she had been mistaken. And here he was formulating theories that she was gay? Or at least bi. She didn't quite get it. Then a thought struck her.
"What if he wants me to be that way? But why? Maybe so that he can fool around with me and show off the his friends, while at the same time not having to commit...hmm, that actually sounds like fun. But what about the consequences? Well, there's no taboo about girl-girl relationships at Hogwarts. Everybody knows about Katie Bell and Angelina Johnson, and how they shared a bed ever since their fourth year, and about Pansy Parkinson and...well, everybody in Slytherin. But what about my dignity? Well, I wouldn't feel like I was degrading myself...isn't that what counts?
Hermione mentally laughed wickedly. She was going to play a game, and she was going to enjoy it. "Oh don't worry, Ron. What your sister and I did was a one-time thing. No strings attached. She was feeling a little lonely and I was feeling a little lonely, so we...well, you were listening." Rons jaw nearly hit the floor and he started coughing on a breath that he'd swallowed. He hadn't expected her to say that.
"How-how..." he sputtered.
"What, how long have I known that I liked girls?" Ron nodded meekly. "Let me think," she pondered while looking around the room in mock concentration. "I'd say ever since second year. Moaning Myrtle helped me to understand myself."
"But...you went out with Krum!" Hermione waved the thought away.
"That's because he was famous. Same with Lockheart. Sit down, Ron, your pacing is throwing me off." Ron carefully sat on the bed. Hermione sat next to him. Ron shifted uncomfortably.
"You're not bi, are you?" he asked hopefully, strongly hinting that he wanted her to be.
"Nope," Hermione said candidly.
"Not even a little?"
"Well...maybe a little. I'd still do stuff with guys if I wanted to make them happy. Why?" she asked innocently. Ron couldn't utter a word, he was so shocked. Though not as shocked as he'd soon be. If her appearance reflected her mood, she'd have red skin, horns and a forked tail, and she'd be cackling while chasing first years around the castle grounds with a pitchfork. "Oh!" she exclaimed, a look of realisation dawning on her. "You want me to...well, why didn't you say so?" She leaned over to Ron for what he expected to be a kiss, which was shocking enough, but there weren't words to describe what he felt when she went lower than his face and began to undo his trousers. She grabbed him down there, and he leapt right off the bed and out of her reach.
"Hermione! What are you doing!? This isn't like you!" Hermione looked slightly unsure of herself, but only for a second. She got up and pursued Ron until his back was against the wall. "I-I don't want to do anything with you that you don't want to do!" She quirked an eyebrow at him.
"And who says I don't want to do this?" Ron couldn't believe what was happening. He even considered that she might be under the imperius curse. She continued with her work on his trousers.
"Hermione, you may want to, but I don't want to use you for my own pleas- ahh...Ohh..." His protests quickly died away.
Harry woke up to the harsh glare of the early morning sun shining right in his eyes. He hated this time of year for only one reason, and that was that the sun was at an angle in the sky where it was intensely bright at this time of morning. And he also had the worst bed. Dean, Neville and Seamus didn't have his problem, as their beds were in the shade, never receiving direct sun light.
He rubbed his eyes and got up, wincing when his bare feet hit the cold stone floor. He went about doing the things he did every morning: Washing his teeth, showering, casting the shaving spell and getting his uniform on. And as always, he did it as if he were a zombie, sometimes stumbling and always yawning, his cold muscles aching as he forced them to move. Then he remembered that he had a girlfriend now, and remembering her in her towel, one of his muscles moved on it's own. He looked down at it and grinned.
"I have a girlfriend now," he thought. "Who is it again??? Parvati!" He whistled out loud. "And what a girlfriend! I mean she's-"
"Hot, outgoing, and pretty brainy as well!" Harry heard the rambunctious voices of Seamus and Dean as they walked into the bathroom. Harry scrambled make his manhood less noticeable beneath his towel. It was at half-mast and refused to go down. When the two best friends spotted Harry, they started cheering.
"Aw'right Harry! We heard about you an' Parvati! Well done mate!"
"Yeah! So what's the story? How'd yeh do it? Going out with her is the life long ambition of many, many people. We always figured you to be too quiet to land a girl at all! Except maybe Hermione, but everyone knows that Ron's fancied her for years. Too bad she turned out to be a carpet muncher, eh?"
"A what?" Harry asked, perplexed. Seamus was from Dublin, and Harry always had a hard time figuring out what his slang meant, but he'd never heard the term carpet muncher before. Somehow, he knew deep down what it meant, and he thought that it didn't suit Hermione.
"A lezzo. One who prefers sushi to sausage." Harry shook his head, trying to expel the bizarre mental image of Hermione covered in said foods.
"No. Not Hermione. She doesn't like girls." Seamus shrugged.
"That's not what Ron said."
"Oh he did, did he?" Harry inquired crossly. Harry didn't like Ron spreading such rumours. Something like that could really hurt Hermione if she found out.
"Yeah. He said that he had gone to ask her out, but she said that she didn't like lads. I don't see why it took a half-hour, though. He told us last night when we were going to bed. You were asleep by then."
Harry went from being thick at Ron to being angry with Hermione. How could she lie to Ron like that? Did she even know exactly how much he cared about her? He could only care more than ever after she spent the summer with him. Harry couldn't go, because he had to remain with the Dursleys. If he didn't, the magic protecting him from Voldemort when he wasn't at Hogwarts would fade. Harry began to wonder if they had some kind of falling out, and that maybe now they were having goes at one another. "Well," Harry thought, "I guess I'll have to get to the bottom of this. I can't stand their bickering! I should also do my best to put down those rumours about Hermione."
"Well you know what you guys?" Harry said speculatively. "I think Ron is just being a nasty prat, saying those things about Hermione. There isn't any evidence to go on except Ron's word." Dean and Seamus exchanged glances, each agreeing with Harry. "And as for me getting with Parvati, it's no big deal. I mean, it didn't seem like anything special when I went to the Yule Ball with Padma."
"Hoho! No big deal, he says Seamus!" Harry thought that Seamus looked like he was about to burst into a speech. He wasn't wrong. Seamus put his arm around Harry's shoulder, much to Harry's discontent. He was still...engorged, and if he was caught in such a state when a guys' arm was draped across his bare shoulder...well, lets just say it wouldn't be good.
"Harry, there are three reasons why going out with Parvati IS a big deal. One," he counted off on his fingers. "It's you." Harry made a face. "Now I don't mean dat in a bad way. But you're Harry Potter. With you, everyting is a big deal." Harry's spirits dropped. He hadn't thought of that, and it certainly did mean that it would be a big deal. "Two: Parvati is a prize. She has high cheekbones, long silky black hair, the most perfect face of anyone in the school, and she's bright. She's ethnic too, which is a plus in many ways. People have discussion groups about her and what she's doing. If she goes out wit anyone, everybody knows about it. And turdly, you went out with her sister!"
"Only for one night!" said Harry. Seamus chuckled. "We didn't even kiss!"
"It was enough. You see, whenever somebody goes out with somebody and their twin, they get a kind of staus'. Yeh know, 'look at how smooth I am. I've been wit both of them!' What it means is that people will now look on you as if you're dis ultra-cool fella whose only boundaries are your own preferences."
"Or for some people, you're this debauched, immoral person who thinks with his dick. Of course, there aren't many wizards who still think like that nowadays, but there are some."
It took Harry some time for this to sink in, as he'd never though of himself as even remotely cool. But then again maybe you don't need to be cool to attract ladies? He thought back to the stares of all the girls in the great hall. They liked him. But that was probably because they were fans. But Colin Creevey had told him about the conquests of Gene Simmons, front man of the muggle band Kiss. Hadn't Colin mentioned that Gene had slept with thousands of his fans? Harry flushed fiercely at the very thought of sleeping with that many women. But it also got him thinking. Could he actually turn out like that? Was it possible? Well, obviously not quite like that. But if Harry wanted, could he rock the worlds of the senior girls, as Fred and George had put it? The very though of it mollified him. He quivered at it.
Before lunch that day the news of himself and Parvati being a couple had spread throughout the school. Harry got more attention than ever before, if it was possible. In the corridors people whom he didn't even know would congratulate him on his "extraordinary accomplishment". Seamus and Dean even tried to organise a party in the Gryffindor common room, but they were unable to procure any firewhisky, so they called it off, saying it wouldn't be any fun without it.
Of course, not everybody was for it. More than a few people who Harry had gotten along with before started casting him dark looks and talking about him behind his back when they thought he wasn't within ear shot. Harry couldn't understand it at first, but Parvati soon explained that those who were giving him the cold shoulder were particularly strong admirers of hers, and that they did the exact same thing to whomever she was seeing. She assured him that it was nothing personal, and that it would stop after a few weeks.
Of course, the Slytherins gave Harry the hardest time of all. The guys would spread rumours that Harry liked members of the same sex (which Harry really hated, not because people really believed them, or because he thought it was sick, but simply because it struck a chord; he didn't like to recall the tension he'd felt last time he'd been accused of such a thing), while the girls would try to get him into a compromising position in public, claiming that they liked what Harry did to them last night or that they wanted to know when they could meet again. While Harry hated these tactics, Parvati didn't seem to mind them at all. She kept telling Harry to ignore them, and that she didn't believe he would ever cheat on her. One night when Harry was pondering this, he started to think that she said that because she didn't believe he could get another girl. Harry couldn't say weather this bothered him or not. His opinion seemed to vary with his mood, and nowadays, his mood varied with the number and frequency of pills he took.
The more pills he took, the surer of himself he became. When he was sure of himself, he felt like the world was at his disposal, and that while he was fortunate to have a girlfriend like Parvati, he knew that there were more fish in the sea. On the other hand, if he missed a pill, he'd start to get jittery, and he'd begin to think that it was a miracle that Parvati had chosen him. He usually took one pill every few hours, but he'd take two if he and Parvati arranged to meet in the common room for a snogging session. One time he took three, and he felt the oddest sensation come over him. He felt as if he could do anything. He felt that he was a stud. More than that, he felt like a sexual predator. The time he took three, he was alone, so he let his thoughts wander. And wander, they did. To places he had never gone before. Taboo areas that he would normally never think about. He didn't take three again, as he feared he'd over-step a boundary when with his friends, or worse-Parvati.
But the pills, which had brought him so much happiness, were not without their vices. He was caught in the midst of a moral debate. Taking the pills felt wrong, but when he tried to define what was wrong about them, he couldn't come up with anything. And even so, did the good outweigh the bad? Thanks to them he felt more confident. His social life was the better for it. Not to mention that they had gotten him further with a girl than he'd ever been (second base). In the end, he chose to be indecisive, resolving to take the pills for as long as he felt he needed them.
Classes went as well as they had ever gone. He had dropped Divination, Astronomy and Ancient Runes for his NEWTs, and had seriously considered dropping Care of Magical Creatures, but elected to keep it sheerly for Hagrids' company. He settled down seriously, studying with every last second of free time he had. Of course, with Parvati for a girlfriend, there wasn't much of it going around. She thought that it was amazing that he wanted to be an auror, and was very enthusiastic about it. So much so that there were times when she wouldn't stop talking about it.
"But you know, there's always the fact that you'd have to work with loads of Slytherins. That wouldn't be too pleasant, would it?" she pondered aloud in defence against the dark arts. Harry glanced over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of Draco. Tonks was lecturing on cutting spells, and demonstrating by slicing a cake. She then went on to demonstrate a more powerful version of the same spell. Unfortunately, as she cast it she tripped over her robes, and put too much power behind it. What was meant to leave a scratch on the floor ended up being a giant, ravine-like wound that stretched from the floor all the way up the back wall and onto the ceiling, making it seem as if someone had sliced the room with a giant axe.
"Err...are we all grand? No limbs severed? Good. Sorry about that. Well, now that we've got that covered, we'll learn how to block it. Only after we've learned to block it will we learn how to cast the spell itself." There was several seconds of shocked silence before the class got back to normal. Mishaps were becoming a normal occurrence in DADA, and Tonks was earning a reputation. It wasn't uncommon for Tonks to be a topic of discussion at night in the common room, or during meals in the great hall.
"No," Harry admitted, shaking his head. "Not too pleasant at all. But then again, maybe I'll work alone? Or with Gryffindors?" Parvati shrugged.
"Who knows? I think you should ask Tonks how she works."
"I think she sometimes shares assignments with Kingsley Shacklebolt...but not always. I wonder what house he was in?"
"Who's that? And how would you know who she works with?" Harry wasn't sure why she asked that for a few seconds before he realised that she'd never met Kingsley, and that to her Tonks was no more than the new DADA teacher.
"Never mind. Lets get try to get through this class without being sliced in two."
The week went on like all weeks. The classes were okay (except for potions, obviously). Harry joked with his friends, snogged with his girlfriend, sometimes did more than that, and sometimes less. On Thursday Snape approached him with the timetable for occulmency training. The lessons ran on only Sundays, and for just a half-hour. Snape said that he was very busy and didn't have time to do it on any other day. Harry didn't believe him, but wasn't about to complain.
On Friday night Professor McGonagall put up a notice in the Gryffindor common room saying that there'd be a Hogsmeade visit the next afternoon. Parvati instantly suggested that Harry go on a date with her. Harry was reluctant at first, mostly because he hadn't had much luck in the past with Hogsmeade dates, but after Parvati licked his ear and promised him he wouldn't regret it, he couldn't refuse.
Meanwhile, Harry had been keeping a very close eye on Ron and Hermione. Of course, it was now common knowledge that she liked girls. It seemed strange to Harry, and to all the muggleborns, but the people who had grown up in the wizarding world didn't even bat an eye. Even Malfoy hadn't said anything about it. Harry expected him to use it against her, but he didn't. In fact, Malfoy approved, saying that now she wouldn't risk polluting the blood of the wizarding race. Harry hardly thought this was better, of course, but Malfoy said it in a way that suggested that he truly believed it, and wasn't saying it just to be hurtful. Harry once asked him why he hated muggleborns so much. He thought he knew what the answer was, but wanted to hear it from Malfoys own mouth.
"I wouldn't have a problem with them if they kept to themselves, and only shagged other muggleborns or half bloods, but when they foul the line of a pureblood, the wizarding world looses a bit more of what makes it different from filth. Back in the days when my family were new, there were so many purebloods around you'd just assume that everyone else was a pureblood. Anything less was an abomination. Today, I could count all of the truly pure-blooded families on my fingers." Harry didn't expect anything else to be said.
When Harry asked Hermione if she was really gay, she pulled him into an empty classroom. "Right. Well, you see Harry, the thing about that is, I'm not."
"I don't get you," Harry replied quickly.
"It's all a joke." Harry blinked.
"A joke?" Harry asked.
"A joke," Hermione confirmed.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"So that I can do stuff with guy without commitment."
"Guy? Only one? Who?"
"None of your business."
"But what about Ron?" Hermione raised an eyebrow. She wasn't about to mention that Ron was said guy.
"What about Ron?" she fired back. Harry shook his head in disbelief and put his hands on her shoulders.
"Hermione, this isn't like you! You're not yourself lately. What's the matter?" She glanced at both his hands, gripping her by the shoulders, then scoffed.
"Neither are you, mister melodramatic." Harry suddenly felt very cliché, and he released her. "You've been very different recently. Ever since you started going out with Parvati." Harry looked like a child caught stealing sweets.
"You noticed, huh? I've just been trying to impress her." Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Yes I noticed. So did everybody else. Harry, if Parvati can't like you for who you are, then you shouldn't be with her. It isn't fair on either of you. Having a phoney relationship isn't worth it." Even as Hermione said this she felt like she was talking out her ass. She was such a hypocrite! She didn't even know why she said it. She certainly wasn't going to follow her own advice. Yet still she went on. "I mean, are you truly happy with her?" Harry look at her incredulously.
"Yes!"
"Truly happy?"
"...Yes!" Hermione looked dumbfounded. "And since when are you the expert on relationships anyway!? I mean, I'm not saying I love her, I don't, but I'm as happy as can be. When I get tired of her, I'll break up with her."
"That's disgusting!"
"But it's true! It's the same for her! Neither of us is under the illusion that we're gonna get married some day. It's just a fling!"
"Oh, so you don't really care about her?"
"Well, no. Not really. I care about her in so far as I'd care for someone I knew but wasn't really that close to. Not the way I care about Ron or you. I mean, did you really care for Krum?"
"Well I..." "Damn! He's got you there!" she thought angrily "Alright. I see what you mean. Sorry for being such a harpy." Harry smiled warmly at her.
"It's alright. Hug?" Hermione obliged. "Kiss? On the cheek?" Hermione gave him a funny look, but kissed him on the cheek. Harry gave her a tight- lipped look, as if he were holding something back.
"What?"
"Nothing." Hermione eyed him for a moment longer before suggesting they leave.
So far, Harry was really enjoying his visit to Hogsmeade. He had woken up that morning feeling giddy with excitement. He met Parvati in the library finishing off her homework for the weekend so that she'd be free. Harry had done most of his the previous night. Even though he was now doing NEWT level subjects, he didn't have much more homework than last year, thanks entirely to Snape being too busy to correct a half-mile of parchment every day. Harry suspected that he was on order business.
Even so, Parvati wasn't done until nearly three (she claimed she'd slept in until noon), and Hogsmeade visits ended at five this time of year. It took them another half-hour to actually get from the castle to the Three Broomsticks. When they went inside they were greeted with a jolly atmosphere. The place was packed with students and residents of the town. Some students had gotten hold of spirits and were quite obviously drunk, thought they tried to hide it for fear of a teacher seeing them. Harry smiled.
"Come on Parvati, let's go check out the snugs, see if anybody we know got one." Parvati nodded affirmatively. It wasn't a great task, as there were only four snugs in the pub. Harry walked over to one in the far corner and knocked on the frosted glass in the old wooden door, then opened it. Inside were a bunch of third years he didn't know. He excused himself and went to the next one, which was just to the side of the entrance. In that one, and the one directly across from it, were old people who were long time customers. The fourth and final snug was on the first floor, at the end of the balcony that overlooked the rest of the pub. Inside were Lavender, Padma, Susan, Dean and Seamus.
As soon as Harry opened the door he was keenly aware that the thick smoke wasn't from cigarettes. "Uhh...hey guys! What're you all doing?"
"Aw'right 'Arry, Parvati! What's the craic?" asked Seamus merrily. There were loads of empty butterbeer glasses all over the table in the centre of the tiny room. This snug was unlike the other three in that it had a closed roof. The others were just short walls that didn't even reach the ceiling.
"What on earth have you guys been smoking?" asked Harry with a slight grimace. As soon as he asked this all the others burst out into fits of giggles.
"Honestly Harry," began Dean between his laughs. "You're so naïve! Here, have some!" He handed Harry a pipe that was smoking slightly at the end. Harry took it nervously. "I thought you smoked it in a cigarette?"
"Yeah, but we didn't have any fags, and they only sell ever-lasting ones in this place, and they aren't much good for what we needed them for, so we just did it without them. Now go on, inhale!" Harry did so and began to cough uncontrollably. He quickly handed the pipe back.
"I'm good, thanks," he choked. He coughed some more. "In fact, I think I'll leave you guys to it. See you later. Unless you want to stay Parvati?"
"No, I'm okay. I don't really like smoking anyway. It burns my throat." Parvati left and Harry moved to follow her, but Dean called him back.
"Harry, take this!" he produced a bottle of fire whisky that was about half full and tossed it to Harry. "Maybe you can still have that party to celebrate, eh?"
"Dean!" Harry admonished, but with a grin on his face he couldn't hide. Left and went downstairs with Parvati and together they sat at the bar.
"Ohh!!!! Firewhisky! Where'd you get that?" Parvati inquired enthusiastically.
"Dean gave it to me. So that we could "party" together," answered Harry wryly. Parvati gave him a very coy look. She ordered two butterbeers and paid for them. She took the firewhisky from Harry and poured in about three thimbles into each glass. They drank deeply and they drank often.
At some point McGonagall came in and told everybody that it was time to go back to the castle. Harry and Parvati laughed when they saw McGonagall march the smokers in the upper room out the front door, admonishing them. "You know perfectly well that mind-altering substances other than butterbeer are allowed only to people aged seventeen or over!"
Harry and Parvati got up a bit shakily and left. "I didn't know butterbeer was alcoholic. I've never gotten drunk off it before," commented Harry. The world was very different now than it had been when they arrived. Even though it was getting cold, Harry felt perfectly warm. In fact, he was positively buzzing.
"Well, that's because it's very weak. Only one per cent. But we've drunk most of the firewhisky, and that stuff is seventy per cent, so it levelled out! It's all good! Now, onward!" she pointed dramatically at the castle, which was blocking out the sun, low on the horizon, but letting the deep orange rays past, making the place seem unimaginably beautiful. She swayed a bit then began to walk in exaggerated strides. "Come on Harry! Let's go home! Look, isn't it wonderful!"
"Yeah, it is. But not as wonderful as you, my sweet." She stared at him with a loving expression, though it quickly changed to once of mock distaste.
"You're starting to sound like Filch! My sweet? That what he says to his bloody awful cat!" Harry looked horrified.
"Oh my god, you're right!" He started doing a Filch impression that had Parvati nearly rolling on the grass in mirth. "Back in the day they used to chain students to the walls by their ankles, and by Merlin's beard, if I had my way, you'd be the first in fetters!" Harry then began to chase her with a pretend whip, saying how he was going to punish her.
When they reached the grassy courtyard Parvati stumbled and fell over. Harry dropped down on top of her. "Gotchya!" Parvati purred.
"So, mister Potter. Are you gonna tie me up now? Are you gonna punish me?" She raised her arms above her head, and Harry pinned them down with one of his hands. He was taken aback at first, but decided he liked this fantasy. He leaned over and pressed his lips against hers. He forced his tongue into her mouth and they shared a passionate kiss which lasted for some time.
"Yes miss Patil; I am going to punish you." He bent over and started to kiss her neck, biting every now and then, sometimes hard enough to elicit a gasp of pain.
"That hurts...do it harder! Oh, yes. That's nice. Harry, let's go somewhere else. Somewhere there's no risk of being seen." Harry looked up, thinking where they might go. Seeing the astronomy tower he had an idea.
"Accio firebolt!!" he cried. Several seconds later his broom came flying towards him. He grabbed it and mounted it. He held out his hand to Parvati and helped her on. She wrapped her arms around his waist and he shot into the air. Parvati screamed in excitement.
"Shit! I dropped the firewhisky!" Harry winked at her, then dove for it. She screamed at the top of her lungs as Harry plunged downward towards the lake. He caught the bottle when it was just inches from the water, then pulled up. He took a swig then handed it to Parvati, who drained it of its contents, then threw it into the lake, where it slowly filled with water and disappeared beneath the surface. Harry flew up to the astronomy tower and landed on the battlements. Parvati hopped off, and stumbled over as soon as she hit the ground. She started laughing.
"That was so much fun! I've never gone that fast on a broom before? I have a shooting star. It's utterly crap!"
"So you enjoyed riding with me then?" Harry asked offhandedly. Parvati stopped laughing. She stared at him seriously.
"I wouldn't know. I've never ridden you." Harry said nothing. It was dark already, and he was keenly aware of what she was thinking. She got up, stumbled over to him and kissed him passionately. She then whispered in his ear, "But we can change that, can't we?" The smell of alcohol was rather strong. A though of dread suddenly occurred in Harry's mind. What if she's too drunk!? He couldn't (and wouldn't) have sex with anyone who was hardly there.
"I'd like to, but I think you've had too much to drink." Damn! Damn damn damn damn damn damn!!!!! "Why do I always have to be the good guy?! Why can't I be Draco Malfoy for once? I can't believe I just said that. Yuck! But this is what I've dreamed of ever since I turned twelve! It was every boy wants! Nooooo!!!"
Parvati gave him a look that implied she was trying her best to process what he had just said. "Don't-don't-don't be ridiculous! Bah! Too much! What a thought! Why, I don't even...umm...what was I talking about again?"
"Umm..."
"And who are you anyway? Why am I up here?"
"What!?" She groaned with laughter.
"I'm only playing with you Harry. Honestly Harry, you've never drunk before, have you?" Harry shook his head. "Look, I may be drunk, but I'm not wasted. Look, I can even stand on one foot! Okay, not for long, but the point is I'm not out of my mind. See? I can make coherent sentences. Now, allow me to lead the way..."
"Now, allow me to lead the way..."
"Where are you taking us?" asked Tonks. "It was a Hogsmeade day today. You know how all the students somehow manage to get drink and drugs, and then come back to the castle to get off with each other. There'll hardly be a corner where you can teach me Legilimens, Serverus. You can't even use your office since you let the Slytherins play with your potions."
"They are not "playing" as you put it. They are doing my work for me. You know how overloaded I am. I see no harm in letting the seniors prepare my lessons. It will keep them sharp for their exams. And of course I know of the shinanigance that the students get up to on days like this. I was once a student here you know," Snape said to Tonks, who was walking briskly beside him, trying to keep up with him, for he was several inches taller than she was and had much longer legs.
"Yeah, but from what I hear, you spent most of your time brooding, not with girls," Tonks teased. Snape stopped abruptly and whirled around to face her.
"I'll thank you not to ridicule me, Nymphadora. I'll remind you that the only reason I'm helping you is because nobody else can." He resumed his speedy pace, taking the stairs quickly.
"Oh chill out Serverus. You know you were my favourite teacher. Of course, you haven't changed a bit, apart from the fact that you're narkier than ever." Tonks was having to take the steps two at a time to keep up with him.
"Just as you were my least favourite pupil. You haven't changed a bit either, other than the fact that you fall over more than ever," Snape said flatly, bit with a hidden grin that Tonks couldn't see.
"Do not! Ahh!!! Help!" Snape turned around to see that Tonks had fallen through once of the disappearing steps in her haste. Snape rolled his eyes and grasped her hand. He pulled her out with such strength that she nearly lost her balance. "I'm just rusty, I swear. That never happened to me before..."
"I'm sure." Snape continued on his path. There was a short silence, which was broken by Tonks.
"Nobody else can. Is that the only reason you're helping me?" Snape didn't reply. "Bloody 'ell! Wait for me!!!" cried Tonks, who was several seconds behind Snape. He stopped and waited for her. "Thanks. I'm surprised you actually stopped!"
"I didn't stop for you. I stopped because we're here."
"Pshh. Figures. I should've known you wouldn't stop for poor old Tonks." Snape ignored her and opened the door to the room of requirement. Unfortunately, it remained a broom closet. He closed it, closed his eyes, and then opened it again. It was still a broom closet.
"That isn't right. Here, you try." Tonks did so, envisioning a room to practice in. But when she opened the door, it was just a broom closet. "Blasted thing! Open!" Snape demanded furiously.
"It doesn't work anymore. Not since Umbridge de-enchanted it," came the grumpy voice of Filch, who was coming up the stairs to put his mop away.
"What!?"
"It was being used for rule-breaking. So I suggested she de-enchant it. Took a whole bunch of professionals to get it done. But it's done now." Snape grabbed Filch by the scruff of his neck and shoved him against the wall.
"You would DARE to destroy the ancient enchantments of this castle, which were laid down by the founders themselves!?" he spat in disgust. "Does Dumbledore know?"
"I don't think so," wheezed the caretaker. Snape released him.
"Well then, I would suggest that you find him, and tell him what you did, and have it reversed! It may seem like a small matter, but every enchantment in this castle is interdependent in some way or another! If too many are removed, it could even affect the disapperation barrier! Then the Dark Lord could come and go as he pleases! FOOL!" Filch was stunned.
"Of-of course! I had no idea! I'll go straight to him! So sorry Professor!" Snape smirked as Filch hobbled away.
"Serverus, is that true? Could the wards really fail?" asked Tonks, who was very concerned. Snape shrugged.
"I don't know. Only the headmaster knows the specifics of the enchantments on the school." Tonks was amazed.
"So you were just buzzin' offa 'is 'ead."
"If you wish to put it that way. And do try to sound respectable."
"Sorry. I fink, damn, I mean I think being in the company of friends brings out the eastender in me. I feel so fake when I put on my posh accent, you know what I'm sayin'? The only reason I do it is because your bloody Slytherins would get me booted out of here if they thought I was too low born. Even though I'm not."
"Yes, they would get you fired," he said in agreement. "Even your relation to the Blacks wouldn't help you. Although now that Lucious is off the board of Hogwarts governors, the aristocracy have lost a lot of power here. If he hadn't been caught, he may have been able to keep Dumbledore from returning. You consider me a friend?" Snape asked in a quick change of subject. He looked at Tonks piercingly as he said that. She winced under his gaze.
"Well, more like a friendly acquaintance. Occasional acquaintance. Cold acquaintance. How about archenemy? No, that's James and Sirius. Oh, I know!" She looked him dead in the eye. "I'm the one that got away," she said flirtatiously.
"Hardly." Snape started to fiddle with is wand. He coughed and looked slightly flustered (at least as much as Snape possibly could). "I'm about to suggest something very out of character, and regardless of your answer, you're never to speak of it to another person."
"Deal."
"I have a small bit of free time tonight. Would you care to accompany me to Hogsmeade for a drink, instead of tonight's lesson. I suppose I could teach you tomorrow at the same time as Potter." He spat the word Potter.
"Well, I think that is a fine idea. Remember the last time we went for a jar together?"
"No."
"Well I wouldn't expect you to remember that night. Somebody spiked your brandy with absinthe."
"I don't remember. Which calls into question whether the whole event actually happened."
"Hmm...Did it actually happen, or is just a product of my crazy brain?" pondered Tonks with a discreet tap of the chin. "I'd have to say a little bit of both."
"What year did this event supposedly take place?" Snape asked after a moment's deliberation.
"Nineteen eighty seven."
"Are you sure? I could swear I have some missing memories from eighty two." Tonks shrugged, then leaned against a wall.
"Time flies when you're-"
"Having fun?" Snape cut her off. "Hardly." Tonks just smiled and continued unabated.
"Glaring at the wall in your dungeon."
"I know exact how many cracks there are in the twenty second brick from the ground," Snape said distantly. Tonks chuckled half-heartedly.
"You really need to get a life." Snape didn't say anything. He just stood stock still, staring at the pictures and the moving staircases. Tonks hung her head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that..." She caught his eye. There was a long silence between the two. Tonks couldn't stand it. "So, you still up for those drinks?" she asked hopefully, though she had a nagging suspicion that he wasn't. Snape took a deep breath as if to clear his head.
"Yes. Many, many drinks."
"Well if you buy more than you can drink, I'll cover for you."
"How much money do you have with you?" Tonks checked her pockets and pulled out a small handful of change.
"Umm...one galleon, three sickles and five knuts."
"That won't be enough. It's okay, I'll just put everything on my tab." Tonks smiled cheekily at him and held out her arm.
"Lead the way." Snape shifted his gaze back and forth between her outstretched arm and her expectant expression, before reluctantly taking it. Even though Tonks had said lead the way, she started to drag Snape along he chosen path. They had hardly begun to move when Snape suddenly went ridged. Tonks was still latched onto his arm, and was jerked backwards. She tried to pull forwards, but he hardly budged. "What is it?"
"SHH!!!" Tonks repeated her question in a whisper. Snape said nothing, and kept listening fiercely for a noise that Tonks couldn't detect. He slowly started to move away from the stairs. He came to the t-bend in the hall. Tonks followed him as he made his way deeper into the corridor. "This way!" he whispered. He came to the bottom of a narrow spiral stairway which led up.
"The astronomy tower?" Snape nodded.
"I hear a noise. I'm going to investigate." He started up but Tonks held him back.
"It's probably just some students kissing. I know they shouldn't be up there unsupervised, but can't you just turn a blind eye for once?" Tonks pleaded.
"You're the auror for gods sake! Think! It could be a death eater trying to gain access to the castle," Snape chastised. Tonks looked mollified.
"You're right, I guess. Okay, lets check it out. Wands at the ready!" The pair of them sneaked up the stair until they came to the locked door which gave access to the battlements.
"Alohomora!" Snape hissed, pointing his wand at the brass knob. It clicked open quietly. Snape pushed the door softly and it creaked open. The two professors stepped out under the night sky. The western horizon was a deep purple, while the eastern was as black as coal. Snape could hear panting from just around the back of the doorway. He knew what was going on when he turned around the corner, and was fully prepared to see two students making love. He was not prepared, however, to see Harry Potter making love. He sucked in a breath. He hadn't been noticed. He could either slip away unnoticed, or make Harry regret ever being born. He milled over the second possibility, seriously considering it, but in the end decided discretion was the better part of valour. Besides, he could always blackmail Harry later. He was about to slip away when...
"Wotcher, Harryohmy-GOD!!!!!!"