Title: Sex Triangle

Pairing: HP/NT/SS + HP/others + R/H

Summary: It's Harry's sixth year, and when it begins, Harry thinks it will just be another year of fighting evil and bad things happening. However, when Harry's self-confidence gets a boost (with the help of the Weasley twins), he starts to see life in a whole new light. Of course, being overly confident can land you in a lot of trouble, as Harry learns the hard way. So can accepting help from Fred and George...

For Harry, things seemed to go in slow motion. He heard the tell tale informal greeting by Tonks, in that London slang that he didn't understand. Tonks had caught him! It was the worst thing that could have possibly happened! Now she would tease him, blackmail him, and constantly remind him that she'd caught him doing the bad thing. He shot his gaze in the direction of the voice, and his heart all but stopped. He felt like bursting into tears. He entertained the possibility that his mind might be playing tricks on him; That Tonks was there, but that she looked like Serverus Snape. After all, he was intoxicated. But deep down, he knew it was over. He'd been caught red handed (and almost naked) by his least favourite person in the world. The look he gave Snape and Tonks was one of pure, unadulterated terror.

"Harry!!!!!! So sorry!!! Yep, we'll just be going now, didn't see a thing. Not a thing. Nope. Never. Bye!" Tonks made a dash for the door, but Snape caught her by her cloak and hauled her back.

"Not so fast, Professor Tonks," he said calmly, all the while staring Harry in the eye, a malicious gleam obvious. "Now, you two. Get dressed. I'll see you both in my office tomorrow morning at ten for detention. And fifty points each will be taken from Gryffindor. Furthermore, I shall be informing the headmaster that you were in a locked classroom without supervision, and the broom you used to fly here will be confiscated until further notice. Have a good day." At this, Snape whirled around, summoned Harry's firebolt and stalked off, his cape billowing behind him. Tonks looked back and forth between the two teenagers and Snape, torn between whether to go or stay. In the end, she wordlessly ran after Snape.

Some hours later in the Gryffindor common room, Harry and Parvati were both raving to each other about what had happened. It was fairly late now, and everybody else was either too tired from the day to remain awake, or they were still somewhere in the castle having fun, not getting caught.

"What bothers me the most isn't the punishment, but the fact that that greasy bastard saw my breasts! Maybe more!"

"I don't know...he was staring at me pretty hard. I doubt he looked at you much." Parvati gave Harry a disgusted look.

"He doesn't...like you, does he?" she asked, horrified at the thought. Harry laughed out loud bitterly.

"Like me? He hates me. He was glaring at me. In fact, I'd be amazed if he ever had a relationship with anyone. I don't see how anybody could stand him!" Parvati giggled despite herself.

"Hey Harry, do you think Snape's a virgin?" Harry shuddered.

"Please, don't even ask me that again. Answering would mean picturing him having...gah! Hideous!"

"And what about Tonks?" she asked seriously. Harry screwed up his face.

"What? No, I wouldn't say so, but why are we talking about this?" Parvati rolled her eyes.

"Get your mind outta the gutter. I meant what do you think she was like?"

"When she caught us? I dunno. I think she was as shocked as the rest of us. Can you believe she said hi to me before she realised what was going on?" Parvati laughed.

"She's amazing. I wonder what she was doing with Snape?"

"Actually, I'd say he was trying to convince her to give him her job." The two laughed. As the laughter died down the pair gazed into each other's eyes. They each leaned in for a tender kiss. When they broke apart Parvati spoke.

"I had fun tonight, considering the circumstances. I wish it didn't have to end." Before she had even finished the last syllable, a truly wicked though crossed Harry's mind. A grin tugged on his lips. Parvati gave him a look.

"What is it?" Harry didn't answer immediately.

"Oh no, it nothing," he said, shaking his head. "Just an idea. It's crazy, and it's extremely risky."

"Try me." Harry deliberated for several seconds.

"Well, you're not to tell anybody this, but I have an invisibility cloak, and I know a secret passage way that leads to the basement in Honeydukes." Parvati grinned wickedly.

"You're not suggesting that we sneak back into Hogsmaede, are you?"

"And get plastered!"

"And finish what we started! Oh Harry it's brilliant! Let's do it! I've always wanted to go on an adventure like the ones you seem to have every month!" Harry moved to go to his bedroom to get his cloak.

"Well, to tell you the truth, I've never gone on an adventure quite like this one! But there's a first time for everything! You wait here a second. I just have a few things to get." Harry ran to his room. He got his cloak, some warm clothes, several galleons, and he took three pills. He took three because he knew he'd need a lot of daring to pull this stunt off. He raced back to the common room and met up with Parvati.

"Wow! Cool...can I see the cloak? Waow! These are really rare! Where'd you get it?" Harry smiled. He sometimes forgot how much of a treat it was for others to see a real invisibility cloak.

"My dad gave it to me. That is to say, it belonged to him when he was alive. Dumbledore gave it to me."

"Dumbledore!? Surely he must have known what you'd use it for!" Harry just nodded benignly. "Wow. Cool. Can we both fit under it?"

"Of course. It's easiest if we put our arms around each other's waists. Stealth is important. But the passage isn't far, so we don't have much to worry about." They got under the cloak and held each other. Harry led the way to the secret passage.

It took them about a half hour to reach Honey Dukes. The shop was closed, but the door wasn't locked, so they just went out that way. Parvati walked one way, but Harry pulled her back.

"No, we can't go into that pub. Someone there is bound to report us. We'll go to the Hogs Head. Less chance of being spotted." Parvati agreed and together they set off. As it turned out, the bar tender had no problem serving them firewhisky, which they both drank quite a lot of.

Meanwhile, over in the three broomsticks, Tonks and Snape had gone out for the drinks. The place as full of the normal Saturday night crowd. Snape had gotten a snug on the ground floor. It was clean, save for the circles of old beer on the table.

"So, Servy, 'nother round?" Snape didn't seem to mind being call such a name, as the only sign that showed he had heard her at all was him re- filling their shot glasses with bourbon.

"I must say Miss Tonks, I'm impressed. All of the other female members of staff would be out cold after eight shots. Except of course for McGonagall." Snape swayed from side to side as he said this.

"You ain't seen nuffin yet." Tonks knocked back her ninth shot, shuddering as the burning liquid scorched her throat. She sank back into he seat and lolled her head to one side. She sighed happily. "This is fun. We should make a habit of this." Snape knocked back his shot and poured another, which he promptly knocked back too, and smiled.

"Looks like I'm one ahead of you now. Care for one more?" Tonks thought hard for several seconds before declining.

"Nah. I've reached me limit. One more I won't be up for it." Snape raised his eyebrows.

"Up for what?" Tonks lolled her head around to face Snape.

"Up for this." She cupped Snape's cheek and kissed him on the mouth. It didn't take long for him to kiss back. Tonks deepened the kiss. They went on like this for several minutes before Tonks broke away. "Let's go back you your room. I've had enough to drink." Snape said nothing, only took her hand and left with her.

Unfortunately for both Harry and Parvati, they didn't stop when they'd had enough. They didn't stop until they'd had too much.

"I don't feel too well Harry," admitted Parvati, with a slur to her words. "I'm a bit dizzy." Harry squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"We're almost back to the castle, I think. That is the cashle, right?" he asked, pointing at Hogwarts. He fell over, and Parvati had to help him up, but she fell over too. It took them a grand total of forty seconds to get back on their feet.

"How mush did you have Harry?" Harry scrunched up his face trying to remember.

"Not too mush. You had more than me. But I can't seem to walk straight and the worldsh spinning." Eventually they got back to the great hall. It was dark and deserted.

"Shit. Harry, I'm gonna pass out. And you can't carry me upstairs. I'm gonna pass out. I'm gonna pass out." She continued her mantra while taking tiny steps in aimless directions. Harry put her arm around his should and vice-versa, and helped her to walk. They wandered around aimlessly for a bit, before going down to the dungeon. About halfway down, Parvati went limp and he had to carry her. He had no idea why he was down here, but why was the farthest thing from his mind. Harry's world was spinning violently now. He knew he was about to pass out too, and the only thing he could think of was to find a room to do it in so that he wouldn't be stumbled upon during the night by Filch, who never seemed to sleep.

He found a door that was slightly ajar. Without a second thought he pushed it open (or rather tried; the first two times he missed and hit the doorframe) and staggered into the room. He set Parvati down none too gently on the cold stone floor, not having consciousness enough to care, or even to truly notice. He saw a bed. He didn't think at all about why the bed was there, but he took off all his clothes, as was habit, and hopped in. He passed out literally a second later.

Little did he suspect that in that very bed was a sleeping Snape and Tonks.