Jacob
1
18 Years after Breaking Dawn
On Saturday's, I kept the shop open later than normal so that people who work during the week can come in to have their cars looked at. Carlisle had bought the shop for me after the battle with the Volturi as a thank you. I wasn't sure what for, we didn't do much. I was thankful for not dying that day. I was also thankful for the shop. He even agreed to keep it running as long as I wanted to work.
They had stuck around in Forks, just weren't seen out in public. Of course for them it was easy, they would send me to get food for Nessie when needed but she mostly hunted. She had become a beautiful, very well educated woman. She was incredibly smart. I was thankful that they had stuck around. Our friendship had grown incredibly close but I was forbidden to tell her that we were imprints. Edward had claimed that he wanted to give her a regular life-including letting her decide who she wanted to be with, without the imprint getting in the way. He threatened to kill me, so I never told her.
Even now, 18 years after her birth, we were still just friends. I had asked to take her on a date and Edward allowed it, but nothing else ever happened after that. But usually on Saturday's after my shift, we would go hunting and then head back to the Main house to watch movies. Today was no different.
After work I rushed home to check on dad. Rachel had married Paul 13 years ago and they had three kids. Twins, Noah and Grace, who were 12. They also had another little boy, William who was 9. They were living down the street and usually gave dad dinner on the nights that I was with Ness.
"Heading to the Cullens?" He asked as I was grabbing a shirt and tying it on my ankle.
"Yeah. So call Bella if you need me okay?" I answered.
"Will do." I quickly headed out the back door and into the woods to phase. I ran to the Cullen's house as fast as I could. I hid behind a tree so I could get dressed. I quickly knocked on Bella and Edward's door. I heard some whispering before the door swung open. Bella was standing behind Edward biting her nail.
"Good evening, Jacob." Edward greeted me. It was weird that they were both standing at the door. Usually Ness or Bella answered.
"Hi. Is Ness ready to go?" I asked. Bella frowned at me. "What?" I asked.
"She isn't here." Edward said. "She's on a date with Nahuel." Nahuel was the other half vampire half human that we met. "He's in town for a few weeks."
"Oh." I rubbed the back of my neck. "Wish she had told me." I commented.
"She doesn't owe you an explanation." Edward barked.
"I know that." I rolled my eyes. "But we usually hang out on Saturday's. A heads up would have been nice." I tried to keep my thoughts together while standing in front of Edward. I felt like I was going to puke.
"You can come in and wait for her." Bella offered.
"No. That's okay." I commented, stepping off the step. I really didn't want to be there when she got home from said date. And I certainly did not want to be there if he showed up with her.
"I'll tell her you stopped by." As if she had no idea I would be stopping by today. We've done this every single Saturday for as long as I could remember. I nodded to Bella before heading back into the woods to phase. I ran slower home. And then decided to go to the beach instead. Usually some of the pack were down there. Sam had stopped phasing years ago so he could start aging with Emily and their two kids. I took over alpha. I knew that Jared would eventually stop phasing too. Kim had been asking him for years. She was pregnant with their fourth baby but wanted Jared to continue aging again. Quil was still phasing along with Seth, Embry, Leah, Colin and Brady. None of them really needed to phase, we didn't have any enemies around besides the Cullen's.
Seth was just starting a fire for everyone when I was entering the parking lot in human form. Usually the entire pack came and brought their families. It was fun seeing all the kids running around and getting a sugar high. Sometimes I would bring Ness with me to these little gatherings but she always seemed uncomfortable so it didn't last long. I sat beside Leah and grabbed a beer.
"You alright?" She asked. I shrugged. Of course it was a simple explanation, Renesmee was on a date with some other dude. "How come you're not with Nessie?"
"She's on a date." I answered, staring at the fire.
"What?" I nodded. I don't know why it was so painful. She had never shown interest in me like that. I of course was head over heels in love with her.
"I don't even know why I'm upset over it." I sighed chugging from my beer. I ran my free hand through my hair. "Is there something wrong with me?" I asked. "Actually, don't answer that." I groaned. There had to be something wrong with me if the only two women I've ever loved, felt nothing back at me. I had never even been with someone else, afraid that it would hurt Nessie.
"I mean you only took her on that one date." Sam commented.
"Yeah and she looked like she hated her life." I had taken her to dinner and although we were great friends and conversation flowed easily, I could tell she would have rather been anywhere else. I had asked her on a few more dates after that but she always claimed she was busy. Eventually I stopped asking. But still, we always continued our Saturday's.
I didn't stay at the fire for long. I headed home so early that Dad was still awake and watching tv when I came in. He looked at the clock then back at me.
"What happened?"
"She was on a date." I commented heading to the kitchen to raid the fridge. I should have prepared myself for this. I guess I just assumed that she would have feelings for me and we would be together because of the imprint. It kinda hurt like hell. I was confused. All of the other imprints were together. I mean that was how it always worked. I guess I never thought that we would just stay friends.
"She's on a date?" Dad asked, wheeling himself into the kitchen.
"Yeah." I whispered. I felt a pain in my chest that I have never felt before. It was nearly suffocating me. It made me wonder if she was feeling it too or if she was doing something that was hurting her.
"Always the bridesmaid, never the bride, huh?" He said. I nodded, biting into a cold piece of pizza. I rubbed my chest as I ate hoping the ache would go away. When it didn't I went outside to sit on the back step. I wanted to disappear.
Mom said you stopped by. Sorry I missed you.
I didn't want to respond to her text. I didn't want to upset her knowing that I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut.
It's Saturday.
Was all I said hoping that she would get it. That I didn't mind her canceling on me, but she didn't even tell me. I knew that she had other friends and could go see them whenever she wished.
I know.
Her not even saying anything about it made it hurt worse. I was her best friend. Or at least I thought I was. We did most things together unless she was doing it with her aunts. Hunting, shopping, video games, movies, eating dinner. Hell she even came to the shop sometimes to work on cars with me.
I laid in bed all night staring at the ceiling. It was no use even bothering trying to sleep. On Sunday's the shop was closed. Sometimes I would spend the day with dad and sometimes I would head over to the Cullen's. I wasn't going to go there again without an invite. I had learned my lesson.
Dad was up and dressed early before knocking on my door asking for a ride to Charlie's. They wanted to go to the diner for breakfast and I decided to join them. That was a big mistake. Nessie and the new guy were sitting together at a table in the middle of the room. Charlie of course greeted her right away. I made eye contact with Ness before looking at Nuhuel. I sat at Charlie's usual table with my back to them.
"That the guy?" Dad asked.
"Yeah." I ran my hand through my hair before rubbing my chest.
"You okay?" He nodded towards my hand on my chest.
"Just some heartburn." Literally. I wanted to drown myself in the sink in the kitchen.
Halfway through my shift on Monday, Ness walked into the shop and stood next to the car I was working on.
"You were pretty rude yesterday at the diner." I wiped my hand on a towel looking at her.
"You were pretty rude on Saturday not telling me that you had a date."
"I don't have to tell you anything." She crossed her arms.
"No, you don't. But a "hey I'm not gonna be home tonight to hang out" would have been nice." I didn't want to fight with her. Not about this. We had never gotten into a fight before. Yeah we used to bicker but there was never a time that I was mad at her.
"Grow up, Jacob." I was confused. I don't know how she could possibly be mad at me. I didn't even do anything. I nodded, looking down. I had no idea what to say to her. My chest hurts. I had a feeling that it was always going to hurt.
"How are you even mad at me right now? I didn't even do anything." I should have known that no matter what, I would be blamed. I had always followed the rules but somehow could never do anything right. Of course her family just assumed that it was my doing anytime she was upset. I got blamed for most things even if they didn't know the whole story. She had them all wrapped around her finger.
"God!" She threw her hands up in the air. "I'm so glad Naheul is a lot more mature than you." I was still confused. I closed my eyes and breathed. I never wanted to be compared to him. Bella had done that enough to me with Edward.
"So what, you like him?" I asked. I shouldn't have asked.
"Yeah. I do." She had her chin up in the air. It was almost like she knew it was hurting me. Maybe she was right, I needed to grow up. I never tried to hide my feelings for her. I wore my heart on my sleeve and pretty much gave it to whoever was around to see it. My feelings were pretty obvious. Things hadn't worked out with Bella and now things weren't working out with Ness. "My mom told me about the whole assaulting thing."
"What?" I asked.
"When you kissed her without permission. That was messed up."
"That was so long ago. I was like 16." I knew right then that she would make any excuse to not be with me. I knew she didn't want to be. I would never force her to be. I swallowed hard looking at her. I would never get over my feelings for her. I was in for a lifetime of torture.
"It's disgusting." Her words were sending knives into my chest. "How could you do that?"
"I was 16, Ness! I was young and dumb!" I shouted, getting frustrated.
"You assaulted my mom!" She shouted back. I couldn't get a hold of my emotions and tears sprang in my eyes making it hard to see. I tried to wipe them away before she could see them. "You're not actually crying right now." I felt like a loser. "You don't get to be the one crying right now." I got myself together enough so that we could finish this conversation. I tried to never show emotion in front of anyone and the fact that it was happening in front of her made me feel ten times worse. "I thought we were friends."
"We are."
"My entire family hates you. They only tolerate you because of me." I knew that was true. But I was also tolerating them for her.
"Yeah, I know." My eyes became blurry again but I blinked away the tears. "It's obvious you don't want me around anymore. I'll stay away." And as much as everything she was saying was hurting me, I knew if it came down to it and she called me saying she needed me, I would be there for her.
She turned on her heel and headed for the open garage door.
"Your stench is also repulsive. Stay away from me." The command ruined me. Anything the imprint wanted, she got. My body would have to stay away. I wasn't sure where any of this was coming from. We had always looked past what the other was. We never mentioned how the other smelled. But I knew it wasn't just my smell that she thought was repulsive. It was me. All of me.
I never thought that things that I did when I was a teenager would come back to bite me in the ass. And for the second time in my life I felt heartbreak. I was staring at the ground when Seth came in. I had hired him years ago to help me out.
"So that's it?" He said.
"Yeah. I guess." I had no idea what I was going to do. Imprints were just supposed to be together. Or at least that's what I thought was supposed to happen. But at the end of the day the imprint wasn't just about being in a relationship. I would be anything she needed me to be. And right now, I'm an ex-best friend.
I walked out of the garage just in time to throw up into a bush. Everything that was in my stomach came up until there was nothing left. I wiped my eyes from the tears that slipped out and wiped my mouth. Then the phone rang. I don't know why it almost sent me over the edge but I swear I was going to break something.
Seth answered it before he carried it out to me.
"It's Bella." I sighed as I took the phone from him.
"Hello." I simply said pinching my nose between my thumb and pointer finger. I'm sure she was just going to bitch at me for something I didn't even do.
"Renesmee came home crying." She said.
"Yeah. She told me to leave her alone. I'm sure the imprint is causing problems." I wished it had never happened. I wish that we could both be living separate lives. I wish I wasn't the one causing her pain right now. "With time it should go away." Just talking about it made me want to throw up again. "Why did you tell her when I kissed you?"
"I didn't. Rosalie did. I just confirmed it for her." I wonder what else they told her. "So what now, Jacob?"
"What do you mean what now?" I asked. I was getting annoyed. It was like she wanted to hurt me even more. "It's over. She told me to stay away."
"So you're just going to? That easy?"
"No. It's not easy. But it's what she wants. She told me to stay away from her. So I will. She commanded it. My body has to obey her no matter what."
"Things should have been different."
"Yeah, well." I shrugged. "Your family doesn't exactly like me."
"Emmett likes you."
"Not enough in Ness' eyes. She told me she liked Nahuel anyway so." I trailed off. "I promise to leave you all alone." Easier said than done.
"I'm sorry, Jacob."
"Yeah, me too." I hung up after that. I rested my head against the wall, taking deep breaths. 18 years of friendship going down the drain. The situation would have been messed up no matter what happened. But still, I couldn't help being completely broken.
I would live out the rest of my life alone. I would never be able to find someone who I loved as much as I loved her. I would never find someone who made me as happy as she did. Even if I did, I would compare them to her all the time. If I had known, maybe I would have tried to move on years ago. My biological clock is running out to have kids. I wasn't even sure if I wanted any. It was never something we really talked about. Everything just seemed like a dream that I made up in my head. Man do I wish it was all just a dream.