Title: Reflections (2/?)

Author: Anna-Maria

Rating: PG-13

Summary: "Ken is gayer than Carson from Queer Eye For a Straight Guy"

A/N: This is Catherine's POV

Well, I don't know about you but I was absolutely devastated to hear about the break-up of Barbie and Ken, or, as I have come to know and love them, Ben.

Devastated, but not, it must be said, too surprised.

For goodness sake, how long was Barbie meant to wait before Ken got down on bended knee?

Granted, it is of course a physical impossibility for Ken to actually bend his knees, but after 43 years together, surely he could have figured out some way to propose?

I knew my Husband for over 15 years before he proposed. It was very sweet, just after I gave that good for nothing rat Chris Davies a piece of my mind at my high school reunion.

Instead, Ken dithered and so he lost her ­ not that I think he'd be too devastated.

No, while Barbie's publicist would have us believe Barbie and Ken broke up because they simply drifted apart, I think it's about time someone came out ­ a bit like Ken should really ­ and said it: Ken is gayer than Carson from Queer Eye For a Straight Guy.

Think about it.

His hair is perfect, he spends ridiculous amounts of money on personal grooming and his best friends are called GI Joe and Action Jackson.

Yes, I think the real story behind the break-up was that Barbie finally figured out the reason why Ken never wanted to marry her ­ or even have sex with her ­ was not just because he, unfortunately, has no genitals.

No, Ken is clearly gay and Barbie was clearly in denial about it and who could blame her?

Where on earth is she going to find another bloke who looks fabulous on her arm at all those glamorous parties she goes to and never, ever embarrasses her in public by saying stupid things, again largely because he can't actually speak a word.

Well, apparently she has found a replacement for Ken in a rather unseemly short length of time, which sadly proves the theory that some women, despite having it all, including their own Malibu Beach House not to mention a Fun in Acapulco pool set, make the same mistakes in love again and again and again.

Yes, Barbie may be gorgeous, a rocket scientist, an astronaut and an ambassador for the United Nations, but when it comes to men the girl is, quite frankly, as thick as a brick.

Having finally worked out that Ken would rather hang out with his friends GI and Action in a leather bar, Barbie has found a new boyfriend, an Australian boogie boarder called, wait for it, Blaine.

That's right, Blaine.

Now I don't know about you, but I have visited in Australia many times in my life and spent a lot of time on a lot of beaches and I have never, ever met a boogie boarder called Blaine.

Chook? Yes. Rooster? Certainly. Davo? Frequently. But Blaine?

I don't think so, because Blaine is not a boogie boarder's name.

Blaine is the name of your manicurist. Blaine is one of those men who sprays you in the perfume department and says "Have you tried our new scent Urban Violation, it's fabulous." Blaine is, in short, gay, gay, gay and Barbie, it seems, is about to make the same mistake again with Blaine who actually looks just like Ken, only with boardshorts.

What the hell is wrong with this girl?

Here she is, an award- winning scientist, a rock star, a NASCAR driver and yet, when it comes to love, she just never learns. What's the bet she's dragging out that Dream Barbie Wedding Dress again, as we speak?

I'll tell you what's wrong with Barbie ­ she's a woman and women, for reasons known only to themselves, often fall for the same wrong type again and again ­ don't we girls?

I went through a rather lengthy period when I would only go out with saxophonists who treated me badly, so I'd have to say I feel a certain amount of empathy for Barbie, who I hope will one day meet the man of her dreams. She deserves to after putting up with Ken for so long.

Apart from the fact that he was never going to commit to her, I always found him a bit plastic.

But have you tried to explain this to a ten year old? Gil didn't help much. He seemed to take the phrase "Barbie dumped Ken" to literally. I came home from work to find him standing over the garbage disposal unit, knife in hand, Lindsey next to him sobbing hysterically beside him. "What happened?" I asked a little apprehensively, dropping my bag onto the kitchen table. Lindsey ran up to me and threw her arms around my waist. "Oh Mommy its terrible," she said dramatically, "I told Daddy that Barbie dumped Ken, and he was so upset he dropped him down the Garbage disposal". I glanced at my husband, before turning to my daughter. "I'm sure Daddy will buy you a new Ken to make it up to you".

Lindsey was devastated to hear that the plumber had thrown out the remaining pieces of Ken, found at the bottom of the garbage disposal, into the bin. Her Ken had gone to the big toy box in the sky. Gil grudgingly bought her a new Ken, which keeps turning up in strange places such as the food processor, tarantula cage and in the dog's bowl. I've got the feeling that he doesn't like him much.

THE END!!!