Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I dont own it.

--Ray's Extreme-ish Makeover-------------------------------------------------------------------------

She cleared her mind of all her guilt and decided to call Robbie. She needed someone she knew she could talk to without feeling bad or awkward or guilty. She dialed his number.
"Lily, my wonderful, wonderful friend! Have I told you how much you rock lately?" he chimed.
"No, but it's a start. Why are you so high on life today?"
"Lily, I'm skipping."
"Skipping? Skipping what?"
"Physically skipping, like prancing and galloping-'grancing', Ray would call it."
"You never skip, something awesome must have happened. Do tell."
"Marpessa."
"Oh." Lily said getting comfortable. It might be a while before she got her ear back.
"She's just-- I can't even begin to explain how amazing she is—and I owe it all to you."
"I knew you two had serious chemistry. I think it's written in the stars for you two, buddy."
"I hope so, I know that I'm like, still in one of those 'teenage-I-think-I- know-everything" phases, but she could very well be 'the one'."
"Robbie, don't you think you're rushing things just a tiny bit? You've only known her for like a day and a half. She's like your fifth girlfriend-not including Sadie, but we won't go into that. You two are exclusive I'm assuming?"
"Oh yeah. Very exclusive."
"Oh, 'very exclusive'huh..."
"I'm telling you, Lily, if I had to choose between her and Torpedo, I'd choose her."
Lily laughed. "You and that evil game...Ah! I hate it."
"You've never even played it before and that makes your little Torpedo song hypocritical."
"Yeah...so?" Lily retorted. She knew he was right, but she wasn't going to admit it. "Subject change! Um Today is day one of Ray's extreme-ish make over, or his 'straight eye for the weird guy' makeover. I don't think he would have appreciated being called 'queer', even though he is, in the non-homosexual way...but yeah, I'm way off track here. Any comments, tips?"
"Be gentle, Lily, and don't make him any more full of himself than he already is." Robbie replied.
"Hey have you been to the beach lately?"
'What the hell is with people and the freaking beach?!' "Ah, not lately, and by lately, I mean in the past 24 hours..."she said.
"Right." Robbie knew something was up, but he just shook the feeling off.
"You should go, it feels great out here today."
"Are you out there now?" she asked innocently.
"Yep. Oh, and it looks like there was a bit of a romantic happening here, someone left a candle..." he said as he picked it up. "hmmm, smells like...cinnamon..."
'Crap, crap, crap! That's my candle!' Lily though as she slapped her forehead and began to panic.
"Hey Lily, doesn't your mom have some like these? Or did I give some to you for your birthday?"
"I don't remember...I'm pretty sure that we don't have any candles like that though, or do we...let me check." She said as she set the phone down and began to pace. She counted to ten and picked up the phone again. 'What could he possibly infer from me claiming my own candle? It can't hurt...' "Oh, well I guess that candle is mine. Hmm...guess I must have left it there for, um, a while. Or something. No telling how long it's been there. Funny little buggers, candles are..." she rambled on.
"Do you want me to drop it by your house or something? I can if you need me to."
"Ah, no, tell you what. Just bring it to school on Monday. That would be great, Robbie, thanks."
"Okay, Monday it is then."
"Yes, Monday."
"Yeah, okay, listen, I've got to get going, I'll talk to you later. Oh and let me know how Ray's makeover thing goes. Tell Audrey I said hi."
"I will, see you later."
"Bye." Robbie said.
"Bye." Lily said.
She cocked her head to the side and tried to assess how completely insane she was acting. She checked the clock on her dresser. It displayed 1:15pm on its silent, black face. She closed her eyes and dozed off, for what seemed like five minutes. It was in fact closer to thirty.
"What is that buzzing sound?" Lily said drowsily. "The doorbell!"
She sprang up and ran for the door. Audrey was standing on Lily's porch with a small sketch pad. She was drawing the pansies on the windowsill. "How long have you been waiting out here? I'm sorry I was sleeping." Lily said apologetically.
"Oh," Audrey said checking her watch. "Close to eight minutes. Not that long." She said with a hint of laughter.
Lily was a very deep sleeper. She could sleep through the loudest action movie in a theater, complete with crying babies and surround sound.
"Let me get my purse and I'll be right there. Wait, did you want to walk or just drive?"
"Um, Lily, these are my best sandals. There's no way I'm walking in these." "Okay, princess, we'll drive. I'll get my keys." Ten seconds later, she and Audrey piled their bags of soon to be miracle-performing, love life saving mousses and astringents into the back seat of Lily's car.
In a record-and speed limit breaking-forty five seconds they arrived at Ray's. Grabbing everything they could carry they waked up Ray's stone walkway and up the four stairs that led to his door.
"How are we supposed to knock with all of this stuff in our hands?"
"Judging by the prints on the glass door here, I'd say you just use your face." Audrey replied. She tapped the door with her foot. A soft, "Raymond, get the door," sounded from the somewhere in the Brennan household.
"I'm on my way, girls! Crash." What sounded like the falling of some boxes resonated from a few feet away. The girls giggled at the sound of Ray's slowing footsteps towards the door. As he opened it, he tried to look as if nothing happened, regaining the "Rico Suave" attitude. He ushered them in with the tilted head nod towards some unintelligible place in the house.
"Okay, lesson one! Take a girl's bags if you want some extra points in her book." Ray's eyes opened wider at the realization of the point of Lily's mini-lesson.
"Oh! Okay then!" He said as he takes the bag Lily's carrying and pantomimes not being able to carry it into his room like the drama queen he is. "Geez what all is in here? Did you guys clean out the drug store or what?" He said looking through the collection of beauty products.
They turned the corner and entered the hallway. His mom had just left his room at the end of the hallway.
"Hello, Lily, and Lily's friend!" Ray's mother greeted the girls with a slight Indian accent. She was from India originally.
Ray had inherited her olive skin, thick obsidian hair and beautiful brown eyes from her. The rest, like his sense of humor, was undeniably his father's.
Lily elbowed Ray to introduce Audrey to his mother. "Oh, um, Audrey, this is my mom, Mom, this is Audrey, she's Travis's girlfriend."
Lily forced a smile at that. 'What, is 'Travis's girlfriend' like her title or something?'
"Nice to meet you Audrey. I've put out snacks in Raymond's room so help yourselves." She said with a smile. "Oh, and keep my son where I can recognize him. He needs a lot of work, but I'm sure you two can handle him."
"Ha ha, Mom, very funny."
"Yes, I know. Who did you think you got your sense of humor from?"
"Um, Dad?"
"Like I said girls, do what you can. I'm in the other room if you need me." She said with a wink.
"Thanks Mrs. Brennan." Lily said as she the three went into Ray's room.
"Well your room's clean, that's a start." Audrey said jokingly.
"Wow, it is. This is the cleanest I've ever seen it, nothing growing like usual."
"Well if I am going to be a girl magnet, I've got to keep 'the Inn' spick and span, right?" he said in a bad Austin Powers accent.
"I guess this won't be as bad as we thought." Audrey said as she pulled out her metal pointer. Actually it was an old radio antenna that she used to play school with, but no one had to know. "Okay, Mr. Brennan, before we get started, I want you to know that you are an attractive guy, and that you really shouldn't need our help, all you need is to be yourself. That is what is most important. Now," She said extending the pointer. "Let's see."
She walked around the chair he was sitting in, looking him over, nodding or saying "mmmmhmmm" every once in a while. She stood back at her place.
"Ha! Didn't find anything, did you!" Audrey lifted his arm and rolled up his sleeve.
"Aha! Dry skin. There is a remedy for this. It's called lotion."
"Well what if I don't want to smell like 'Love spell' or 'Sweet Pea'?"
"Use unscented, i.e. this." Lily said as she tossed him some Jergens lotion.
"Oh."
"And feel free to use it on your hands, girls love guys with soft hands. It's better than getting your skin scraped off by dead skin. Most guys don't have that problem, but it's good insurance, just in case."
"Next," Lily said rubbing her hands through his hair and giving it a quick sniff. "Okay, smell his hair. I know I'm not insane about the tar smell."
Audrey smelled Ray's hair and confirmed Lily's observation. "Okay, go and get me what you use on your hair." She said. Seconds later he returned with a three liter jug of shampoo. "'Good Grady's hair Gravy?'"
"My dad seems to like it, and it does everything shampoos do-it cleans and cures dandruff. What's wrong with it?"
"It dries your hair out and makes it really opaque looking. Here, try this. It'll make your hair really healthy looking and everything. Plus it smells great. Not too girly, either." She said as she handed him the bottle of shampoo/conditioner.
"Hey, what am I supposed to with the conditioner?" Ray said giving the shampoo a sniff. He gave it an approving nod.
"I've made it easy for you. I've given you the '2 in 1' shampoo and conditioner. That way you do both in one easy step." Audrey said cheerfully.
"Good, because I have issues with multi-tasking. Kind of like walking and chewing gum at the same time. The gum just gets everywhere. Did you ever think of doing a shampoo commercial? You'd be good at that." Ray joked.
The rest of the afternoon went on similarly to that. Rays' medicine cabinet in his bathroom was now cleared of cobwebs and dust and filled with skin care and hair products that would have made the boys from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy proud.