Legolas materialized in a forest. Wow, big change there. He wandered around a bit, and after a few minutes, he got very bored. And after a few more minutes, he started to get irritable. And after even more minutes, he started to get what I like to call really freaking p.o-ed. Trees, trees everywhere. He was about to climb up another tree and sing the song and fall out of it when he noticed that he was standing on a hard, black, smooth sort of road. He stomped on it. Still solid. He kicked it. He winced and said a few religious words.
Legolas stared up the road and saw that it sloped upward and curved. Against better judgement, he decided to traverse it. As he came to the crest of the hill, he gave a cry as a gigantic, gray stone building came into view. It was surrounded by strange vehicles with rubber wheels on them. There were white ones, black ones, tan ones, red ones (this reminds me of the Armor hot dog song), and several other colors. He went up to a particularly sleek one and touched its surface with his hand. It suddenly went of with a loud "beep beep". "Spawn of Sauron!" he shouted. "What is this new devilry!"
"Um, excuse me?" said a voice behind him. "I believe that's my car you're touching."
Legolas wheeled around to face a strangely clad man with wiry spectacles and black box in his hand. The man simply looked at him without much surprise. "Pardon me, sir, but may I please get to my car?"
Legolas slid, startled, out of the man's way. The man stuck a small, jagged key into the door of the "new devilry" and pulled the handle. Legolas was frightened as it opened. The man put down the box and turned to Legolas, extending what he assumed to be the hand of friendship. Legolas warily extended his as well, and the man gave it a sharp, quick shake. "Professor Milo Stumpf, professor of music at Saint Louis University. Renown Tolkien scholar as well. And who might you be?"
Legolas stared, rather taken aback. "Uh..."
"Uh? That's a strange name."
"Uh, no. That-that is not my name. My name is-my name is Legolas."
Milo's eyes widened skeptically and his forehead creased in a frown. "Legolas? Well, I must say, you do portray him well, but we can't go around actually believing that we are him, can we? It's unhealthy, obsessive behavior."
Legolas became slightly defensive at this. "Now wait just a minute. I am Legolas. You know, Prince of Mirkwood, son of Thranduil? Representative of the Elves in the Fellowship?"
Milo gave him a thoughtful look. "Hmmm," he pondered. "If you are the real Legolas, who played Legolas in the movie?"
"What?" Legolas said with an authentically blank look.
"Who played you in the screen adaptation of The Lord of the Rings?"
"Huh?"
Milo gave him a scrutinizing look. "Well, you don't seem to know, so I may just have to take your word for it." Milo went around to the other side of his car and opened the door. "Come on," he said, going back around and gesturing for Legolas to get in. "You're coming with me."
Legolas just stood there.
"Well, come on, get in."
Legolas just stood there.
"I said get in."
Legolas just stood there.
"Would you get in?"
Legolas just stood there.
"Now, please?" said Milo threateningly.
Legolas quickly got in. He really hoped this guy wasn't a rapist.
Legolas stared up the road and saw that it sloped upward and curved. Against better judgement, he decided to traverse it. As he came to the crest of the hill, he gave a cry as a gigantic, gray stone building came into view. It was surrounded by strange vehicles with rubber wheels on them. There were white ones, black ones, tan ones, red ones (this reminds me of the Armor hot dog song), and several other colors. He went up to a particularly sleek one and touched its surface with his hand. It suddenly went of with a loud "beep beep". "Spawn of Sauron!" he shouted. "What is this new devilry!"
"Um, excuse me?" said a voice behind him. "I believe that's my car you're touching."
Legolas wheeled around to face a strangely clad man with wiry spectacles and black box in his hand. The man simply looked at him without much surprise. "Pardon me, sir, but may I please get to my car?"
Legolas slid, startled, out of the man's way. The man stuck a small, jagged key into the door of the "new devilry" and pulled the handle. Legolas was frightened as it opened. The man put down the box and turned to Legolas, extending what he assumed to be the hand of friendship. Legolas warily extended his as well, and the man gave it a sharp, quick shake. "Professor Milo Stumpf, professor of music at Saint Louis University. Renown Tolkien scholar as well. And who might you be?"
Legolas stared, rather taken aback. "Uh..."
"Uh? That's a strange name."
"Uh, no. That-that is not my name. My name is-my name is Legolas."
Milo's eyes widened skeptically and his forehead creased in a frown. "Legolas? Well, I must say, you do portray him well, but we can't go around actually believing that we are him, can we? It's unhealthy, obsessive behavior."
Legolas became slightly defensive at this. "Now wait just a minute. I am Legolas. You know, Prince of Mirkwood, son of Thranduil? Representative of the Elves in the Fellowship?"
Milo gave him a thoughtful look. "Hmmm," he pondered. "If you are the real Legolas, who played Legolas in the movie?"
"What?" Legolas said with an authentically blank look.
"Who played you in the screen adaptation of The Lord of the Rings?"
"Huh?"
Milo gave him a scrutinizing look. "Well, you don't seem to know, so I may just have to take your word for it." Milo went around to the other side of his car and opened the door. "Come on," he said, going back around and gesturing for Legolas to get in. "You're coming with me."
Legolas just stood there.
"Well, come on, get in."
Legolas just stood there.
"I said get in."
Legolas just stood there.
"Would you get in?"
Legolas just stood there.
"Now, please?" said Milo threateningly.
Legolas quickly got in. He really hoped this guy wasn't a rapist.