Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Five

A Shoulder to Lean On

Harry felt like he'd jumped from the frying pan into the fire. The room looked like it hadn't been touched since that night. All of Sirius' things were still scattered about, right down to dirty clothes on the floor and his cloak lying haphazardly on a chair by the fire. There were several coins lying on the floor beneath the cloak, obviously having fallen from the pocket when the cloak had been tossed there. A hairbrush, some parchment and a quill lay on the bureau and even from here Harry could recognize Sirius' writing. A book lay open on the nightstand, it's cover creased nearly in half from lying open so long. Harry felt like the walls were closing in on him. He took deep, trembling breaths, trying to control the emotions threatening to overwhelm him.

"What are you doing in here?" he choked to Ginny, who sat straight up and unmoving staring at him.

"I wanted to be alone and this seemed like the best place. There isn't much space for isolation here, as I see you've noticed. What's going on Harry? What are you doing in here?

Harry was no longer listening but staring at the desk against a window. There, sitting right on the desk was the other half of the mirror Sirius had given Harry. It was right there! If only Harry had thought of it, none of this would have happened. Slowly, as if in a dream, Harry moved toward the desk and reached for the mirror, how could he have been so stupid? Picking the mirror up in his trembling hands, he slowly sank to his knees and gave in to the emotions he had kept at bay for so long.

Seeing his shoulders start to shudder as he went down, Ginny raced over to Harry's side and wrapped her arms around him, "It's okay Harry, just let it out. It'll get better if you let it out," she whispered as she rocked him back and forth. She wasn't sure what had upset him so, or the significance of the mirror, but it obviously meant something to Harry. He was shaking as she held him and his sobs were harsh, soul wrenching, and full of misery. Ginny felt her own eyes well up at the sound of it. Still she held him, and stroked his hair, whispering kind, gentle words that he wasn't really listening to. She heard the soft click of the door unlatching and looked up to see her mother peering in. Ginny shook her head negatively, warning her not to enter. Harry would close right back up if he realized he had an audience. Molly seemed to understand this and she closed the door just as quietly. Ginny had no idea how long they sat there like that, but eventually Harry's crying slowed and then ceased as his breathing returned to normal. Wiping his face, he took a deep breath and whispered, "Sorry," without looking at her.

"There's nothing to be sorry about Harry. I'm sorry I was in your alone spot when you needed it. We'll have to set up a schedule and time our bouts of misery accordingly," she said lightly, not sure how he would respond.

He snorted slightly and finally raised his teary eyes to look at her, "Thanks Gin."

"Not a problem. Have you seen Dumbledore?"

He reached up and used the pad of his thumb to wipe a tear from her face, staring at it in wonder for a moment, then replied, "Yeah. I think I just told off a whole room full of the Order. I don't remember all that much after Kreacher showed up. Snape was being a git."

"When isn't he? You certainly have a way with people, Harry. You're going to have to do something about that temper of yours."

Harry didn't respond, he knew she was right though, he did need to find a way to rein in his emotions. He'd been flying off the handle at the slightest provocation and he really wasn't even sure why? He suspected it had to do with losing Sirius, he hoped so anyway. The alternative. . that Voldemort was somehow tapping in to his emotions. . .that was something he definitely didn't want to contemplate. That possession at the Ministry scared him, it scared him more than he was ready to own up to yet.

"Kreacher was there? They've been keeping him locked up."

"Well he wasn't locked up tonight and I swear when I had my hands on that traitorous–"

"It's okay Harry, I understand. Kreacher betrayed all of us and I think we ought to mount him on the wall with the rest of his relatives."

"Okay by me."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really," he sighed, "I miss him. I can't believe I was so stupid."

"You weren't stupid Harry, you were tricked. Any one of us would have done the same thing in your place. Sirius would have done the same thing."

"It's my fault he's dead, I as good as killed him."

"Don't let me hear you talk like that again! Bellatrix Lestrange killed him, Voldemort organized it, and Kreacher plotted it! You were used as a pawn in all of it! I know how you feel Harry; I once had the same feelings. I felt responsible for what happened to Hermione, Penny, Colin, Justin and you! Merlin, I thought I had killed you! But I finally came to accept it was Tom, not me who did those things! He simply used me to suit his ends, the same way he did with you. You didn't kill Sirius Harry, he'd hate to hear you say that and know you were feeling this way! Don't let Voldemort win, don't let Sirius' death be for nothing!"

Harry was quiet as she spoke, but she knew he was listening. She didn't think he quite believed her yet, but at least he was listening.

"I had the other piece of this mirror," he whispered, holding up the glass in his hand, "It-It's a two way mirror Sirius gave me last Christmas to use if Snape was giving me a hard time. I didn't want to get Sirius in trouble so I stuffed it away and forgot about it. I-I didn't find it again until after Si— If I'd only used it that night. . .It was sitting right there!" the last word was ripped from his throat in agony.

Ginny's heart ached for him, how could one person hold up under so much guilt? "Harry, you were still trying to protect him. You can't change the past, but your heart was in the right place."

She watched him shift and knew he was ready for a change in subject. "How come you needed to be alone?"

Ginny was silent for a moment, not quite sure what she wanted to tell him, "Just feeling sorry for myself I guess."

"Er. . .I'm sorry about Dean. Ron told me."

Ginny sighed, "It's okay, I don't think it was really working anyway. I seem to chase them off at an alarmingly regular rate!"

Harry chuckled at this; he was surprised at how easy he found her to talk to, particularly after breaking down like that. He wondered what she really thought about that. She didn't seem to think any less of him, and it was easier sitting here on the floor with her than facing everyone on the other side of the door, so he stayed. Talking about nothing really, but relaxing and letting all the tension he'd carried with him for so long roll off him as he sat and listened to her ramble on.

Molly Weasley left Sirius' old room and made her way back to Ron and Hermione who were anxiously waiting in Ron and Harry's room.

"Did you find him?" Ron asked urgently.

"Is he okay? Did he say anything?" Hermione said at the same time.

Molly put both of her hands up to quiet them as the twins entered the room, the same questions in their identical eyes. "He's fine, he's in Sirius' room talking with Ginny. I think it best if you give them some time before going in though."

"Why?" Ron demanded. "There is something more going on between him and Dumbledore and I want to know what it is!"

"Ron's right, Mum," Fred joined in, "Harry's not okay and there was definitely something unsaid going on in that room."

"I know that," Molly answered, "but Dumbledore wasn't willing to elaborate further and he said Harry would talk when he's ready. We are all going to respect that," she said firmly, glaring particularly hard at Ron as she did. She looked at each of them in turn then continued more gently, "Look, losing Sirius was hard on all of you, but you've had time to talk with each other, share your grief, and begin to move on. The loss is even harder on Harry and he's been trapped in that awful house and I don't think he's even addressed the fact that Sirius is gone. Being back here at Grimmauld Place is hard for him. It's going to take some time and you're all going to have to give it to him. Be supportive, but you have to remain respectful of the space he seems to need."

"Bloody hell," Ron cursed.

"Language Ron!" both Hermione and Mrs. Weasley scolded.

"What was the deal with Snape," Fred asked, "Something was going on there as well."

"Professor Snape Fred," his mother corrected.

"He was talking about Harry's dad," Ron offered, "Harry never said what it was that happened during his last Occlumency lesson, but downstairs had to do with Harry's dad. Snape always criticizes him in front of Harry. You wouldn't believe some of the things he says to him."

"Nice," George spat.

"Yeah. Well, Professor Snape seems to take it as some sort of cosmic insult that Harry looks so much like his father."

"Git," responded both twins.

"Let's go upstairs then and just see how he is," Hermione urged.

"Give them a little time first, okay? He seemed to be reaching out to Ginny and if she can help, let her," Mrs. Weasley said.

"Why would he talk to Ginny and not us!" Ron demanded.

"I don't know Ron, but he is, so let them be."

"Come on," began George, "let's put together a plate of some sandwiches and drinks and we can all head up there after it's done. Harry never ate his dinner, he's probably hungry. I promise not a trick sandwich on the plate! Wizard's honor."

"Like you've ever had any honor to begin with," Ron snorted, but seemed to accept the idea as they made their way down to the kitchen.

Both Harry and Ginny's heads turned as the door opened and Hermione, Ron, Fred and George all piled in bearing a plate full of sandwiches and crisps along with a tray of drinks. Ginny glanced nervously at Harry, his eyes were still red rimmed and it was obvious he'd been crying. She prayed her fool brothers would keep their mouths shut and not embarrass him. Trying to set the tone, she began the conversation, "Ah, food, just what we needed! I was just telling Harry here how you lot used to tie my dolls by their necks from the tree fort and make me beg for their lives!"

All three Weasley brothers grinned at this as Fred spoke up, "Ahh, but did you tell him how you always managed to see your dolls up there when Mum was in hearing distance? You could walk by them fifteen times a day and care less but if Mum saw what we'd done, what a show you'd put on! You could have won awards, Gin Gin!"

Ginny grinned sheepishly, "Caught on to that one, did you?"

Harry laughed out loud, "You set them up!"

"I had to!" Ginny stated indignantly, "I had six older brothers to contend with! I learned fast how to play my cards!"

As the conversation continued, Ginny felt an upsurge of affection for all her brothers. She'd noticed the concerned looks they'd all given Harry, but not one mention was made of his blotchy face. They really were decent blokes, she thought proudly. It was Hermione who kept casting odd glances at Harry then Ginny that made Ginny nervous. She couldn't figure out what Hermione was trying to decipher, but wished she'd be less blatant about it. Harry, too, noticed the furtive glances Hermione kept sending his way, but was studiously ignoring her. He was also aware of all the other eyes in the room watching as he managed most of a sandwich. He knew they were merely concerned, but he also couldn't help that it was grating on his nerves. All in all, he was enjoying himself though, and the sounds of merry laughter rang from the room well into the night. Sirius would have been proud.

When Harry went to take a glass of pumpkin juice, George pushed one toward him, "Mum put a dreamless sleeping potion in that one, but she said to warn you this time. She thought you might need a peaceful night but it was your decision."

Harry hesitated for an instant, then took the glass, drinking it as he listened to the banter around him. His eyes began to get heavy and he felt Ron's arm tugging him up, "Come on Harry, let's get you to bed before the girls decide to give you a makeover or something while your sleeping. Ginny and Hermione might even join them!"

Hysterical laughter answered this but Harry was only vaguely aware as he allowed Ron to guide him back to their room. Ron pulled the covers back on Harry's bed and Harry lay down fully dressed as Ron tugged off his trainers for him.

"Are you all right, mate?" Ron asked quietly, "I'm here if you want to talk."

"Thanks, Ron. I'm getting there," he whispered as his eyes fluttered shut. As he lay in bed drifting off to a blissfully dreamless sleep his mind kept going back to Sirius' room and how nice and comforting it was to be in Ginny's arms. She was quite pretty actually and he didn't know why he hadn't noticed that before. He'd enjoyed her company and actually drew comfort from it when he needed it. He wasn't exactly sure what to make of that, but he'd think about it tomorrow.

A/N: Thank you ever so kindly to all of those who reviewed, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. I've tried to respond in person to everyone I could reach. To those of you who I couldn't contact — thank you!

Ok, you know the drill, please R/R and let me know! Today is my birthday so no flames allowed on my birthday, LOL! I like this chapter, I hope you do too. I went back and forth on the whole crying issue, since Harry never does, but decided he needed to. Sirius deserves that kind of momentous occasion and it was my way to honor Padfoot.