Title: Twilight

Author: T'eyla

AN: Thanks to Andrea (thank you! btw, sprichst du Deutsch - wegen gmx.de?), WhtevrHpnd2Mary (you like the first-timers? Well, hope you'll like this one ;) ), Phaser Lady (here's more...), KaliedescopeCat (holidays start in the end of July over here :( - but during school year we have more holidays than students in America; where, I assume, you come from?), Gabi2305 (ja, obwohl das ja eigentlich TOS ist - in Enterprise ist der Transporter ja noch viel zu unsicher... -hust- ;) ) and lieutenants-lady (thanks for the compliment) for reviewing. Well, if this was a German site, I'd say jetzt geht's ans Eingemachte, but I don't know what's that in English - my dictionary claims I should say we're really scraping the barrel now :). Anyway, here's the next part, enjoy (and review!).

Bridge

And the more I try

Leads to the same old lie

You made me slip into the grind

Now I can't get you off

Trip almost couldn't believe it, but that tune was still running through his head. He was sitting on the ground next to Malcolm and was hugging his knees to his chest in a grip whose tightness was only partly due to the cold. They'd been waiting for only about fourty-five minutes - at least that was what Trip's wrist watch claimed. It seemed a lot longer.

After giving Malcolm the hypo, he'd waited for a few minutes for the painkiller to take full effect, then began to remove the debris that covered Malcolm's legs. The upper layers had posed no problem for they only contained rocks no bigger than fist-size. When he'd removed those, he discovered the actual problem; a middle-sized boulder that had pinned Malcolm to the ground, smashing his right knee in the process. He tried to remove it as carefully as he could, but already when he'd done no more than touch the rock, Malcolm gave a strangled cry of pain.

Trip had wanted to leave it like that, wait for Phlox to come and give Malcolm something that would knock him out and leave him oblivious to any pain the removal of that boulder was going to cause him, but Malcolm had not agreed. He told Trip to clear away that rock anyway, not naming any particular reason though. Trip guessed that having roughly three kilos of rock pinning you down on a broken leg wasn't exactly painless, and that Malcolm had figured it would be better to remove the boulder as long as the painkiller was still working.

He was reluctant to do something that so obviously was going to cause Malcolm pain, but all the same he hadn't argued but simply gotten rid of the boulder as quickly and carefully as he could. Malcolm hadn't made a sound, but when Trip had checked on him, he'd noticed that the Lieutenant had lost consciousness. He'd been shocked at first, but then had realized that this gave him a chance to take care of Malcolm's leg without putting the Lieutenant through unnecessary pain. He'd done all he could with the limited resources he had - a small standard first aid kit - then had gotten Malcolm settled on the ground in what he hoped to be a slightly more comfortable position. Going through the contents of their packs, he'd noticed with slight irritation that they had not taken a blanket along. He'd taken off his jacket and had spread it over Malcolm, hoping it would protect the Lieutenant from the worst of the cold. Then he had sat down next to Reed to wait for him to wake up.

Another look at his watch told him that now it had been fifty minutes. He rubbed a hand over his face and it came away covered in grime. Sighing, he shifted a little and his gaze involuntarily came to rest on Malcolm's face. The Lieutenant had his eyes closed, but his features weren't relaxed like those of a sleeping person. There were hard lines around his mouth and eyes, pain lines, even though he was unconscious. With a touch of bitterness Trip thought that he'd seen these lines more often than some of Malcolm's smiles - a lot more often than for example the beaming Cheshire grin. There must be something wrong with that, he thought, feeling a well-known sensation build somewhere below his breastbone. A sensation that included hurt, longing, fear, sadness and resignation and that he'd vainly been trying to ignore for so long already.

It wasn't like he'd never considered making some kind of move. He had, many times, but he'd always come to the same conclusion; sooner or later any action on his part would lead to both of them being a lot more unhappy than before. He simply couldn't imagine Malcolm feeling similar things as he did. True, they got along wonderfully, and Malcolm had declared himself Trip's friend, a thing that both flattered Trip and made him feel happy, for he knew Malcolm didn't make friends easily. But Malcolm had never done anything that indicated he might be feeling anything that went beyond simple friendship, and Trip knew that if he voiced his own feelings and found they weren't mutual, that friendship would be irreversibly damaged. Or over altogether.

That Trip knew, but if it had been all, he might have tried anyway. But there was more to it. Suppose Malcolm did feel just like he did. Suppose the big revelation would end in them getting involved in a relationship. It would inevitably lead to a catastrophe. Trip knew that he himself wasn't exactly good at keeping a relationship stable, and if the things Malcolm had told him aboard shuttlepod one that one time were any indication, the Lieutenant wasn't either. Then it would be something completely new, at least for him, for they were both men. Then there was the problem of the fraternization rules. And there was the fact that they both didn't exactly lead a life without danger. Trip found it hard enough to be worrying about Malcolm all the time without them being involved in anything intimate. He didn't know if he'd be able to stand that worry in an actual relationship for a longer time.

Trip wasn't a person to calculate his every move by carefully weighing advantages and risks, usually he acted mostly on intuition. But he wasn't stupid, either. He knew the times when he couldn't just follow his heart and do whatever his feelings told him. On these occasions, he needed all his willpower to keep his impulsiveness in check and make his rational mind keep the upper hand. And it always hurt. Badly.

Off the cloud we was on, now it's off gone,

Tell me why, why, why

Ain't I getting through

Ain't no lie

A low groan made Trip raise his head. Malcolm had opened his eyes and was blinking like he was disorientated. Trip quickly moved over to kneel beside him and put a hand on Malcolm's back.

"It's okay," he said. "Don't move. How d'you feel?"

Malcolm was silent at first, obviously taking stock of his situation. Then he slightly squinted his eyes shut. "Hurts," he said, his voice slurry. Trip winced in sympathy.

"I can believe that. I'm afraid we've run out of painkiller, though."

Malcolm nodded. "... fine."

Trip only caught the end of it but could easily imagine what Malcolm had said. He didn't comment on it, though, but simply settled down next to Malcolm on the hard rocky ground and began to slowly massage the tense muscles in Reed's neck. First, his moves were tentative, but when Malcolm neither protested nor tensed up at the touch they became a little more confident.

For some time neither of them said anything, and Trip unseeingly stared into the dark at the back of the cavern, listening to Malcolm's harsh breathing, trying not to count the minutes in his head. He knew it would take Jon and the team at least another two hours to reach them. The cave system must be rather widespread, he thought. Briefly, he wondered how they were going to get Malcolm to the shuttle without hurting him even more, then remembered that as soon as they were out of the cave, Enterprise would be able to pick up their bio signs again. They'd just beam him up.

Beam him, once again. Of all crew-members he's probably the one that used the transporter the most often.

Trip had only once or twice used the transporter, and he hadn't liked it at all. He knew that transporter technology was based on brilliant thinking and on more-than-capable engineers working on and improving hardware and software for years, and he was also aware that if the transporter was authorized for bio transport, the error rate must range from very low to almost non-existent, but all the same the part of his mind that wasn't controlled by his rational thoughts didn't trust the device at all. The thought of himself being dissected, encoded in EM-wave-patterns and sent through space gave him a bad case of the creeps. To allow any machinery to do that to you seemed highly suicidal.

"Why is it that every away mission we're on ends in complete disaster?"

The voice made him jump, even though Malcolm had spoken in a low, almost inaudible tone. Trip looked down at the back of Malcolm's head. "I dunno," he said. "Bad vibes."

A low chuckle. "Guess you're right. Bad vibes." Malcolm fell silent. A shudder ran through him, and Trip saw him wince as the movement reached his broken leg.

"Are you cold?" he asked.

"It's alright," Malcolm said but couldn't suppress another shiver. Trip cursed silently, continuing to carefully knead the tense muscles in Reed's back. He knew that Malcolm probably was in shock, but there was nothing he could do. He didn't have a blanket to keep him warm, and he'd already done everything he could about Malcolm's leg. Why the med kit didn't at least contain an emergency blanket was beyond him, but as soon as they were back on Enterprise he was going to check whether that was standard or if Malcolm and he just had had luck on their side once again and had gotten a faulty one.

"What caused the cave-in?"

"Seismic activity." Trip remembered last night's meeting, when T'Pol had told them that this area of the planet had been formed in a tectonic folding about fifty million Earth-years ago. 'Tectonics are still active, but chances that there will be any seismic activity during your stay on the planet are minuscule.' Those had been her words.

"Seismic activity?" Malcolm repeated, sounding a little detached as if he were trying to grasp the meaning of the words. Trip nodded, even though he knew Malcolm couldn't see it for the Lieutenant was lying with his head turned the other way.

"T'Pol picked somethin' up."

"An earthquake?"

"Dunno. Probably."

Malcolm was silent for a moment, and Trip could feel him tense under his fingers. "There could be aftershocks."

"They're already over, if there were any," Trip said, trying to sound certain of what he was saying. Which he was. Pretty much.

"There might be more earthquakes," Malcolm said, now sounding a lot more alert than before. "The small ones mostly occur in clusters." He turned his head to look at Trip even though the movement obviously caused him pain. "You need to get out of here."

"Nonsense," Trip said, dismissing his own resurfacing worries about more earthquakes. "It's been over an hour. If there were gonna be any earthquakes, they'd already happened. It was a single one."

Malcolm however was not to be convinced by his assurances. "No, Trip," he said, and Trip realized in alarm that he was trying to prop himself up on one elbow. Quickly, he put a placating hand on the Lieutenant's shoulder, but before he could say anything, Malcolm continued. "There might be another cave-in, it's not safe in here. And you can wait outside just as well as in he-." He broke off, drawing in a sharp breath as his movements caused his leg to shift. Trip tightened his grip on Malcolm's shoulder.

"Don't move, Malcolm. An' don't worry. I'll be alright. Nothin' happened over the last hour, an' nothin' will happen in the next two hours. I'm not leavin' you alone in here."

Malcolm, who was now propped up on his right elbow, drew in a shuddering breath and shook his head. "No, Trip. It's not safe. You have to get out of here." He looked up and Trip saw something akin to desperation glimmer in his eyes that were glazed over with pain. "Don't stay in here. I'll be-"

"Malcolm. The chance for seismic activity to occur once while we're down here was, according to T'Pol, next to nothin'. What're the odds of it happenin' twice?"

But Malcolm wouldn't budge. He shook his head, and Trip wished he wouldn't do it. He knew that any movement, however small, was causing him pain. "You mustn't stay in here. It's not safe. I don't want anything to happen to you."

"Nothing will happen to me, Malcolm." Trip tried to put as much confidence in his tone as he could muster. "Now just lie back down and stop moving-"

"Trip!" Malcolm grabbed his left wrist, his grip almost painfully tight. "Get out of this bloody cave. You don't need to stay with me. There's nothing you can do anyway. It's not safe in here, and I don't want anything to happen to you just because I'm stupid enough to screw up every and any away mission I'm on-"

"Now wait just a minute," Trip interrupted Reed's increasingly agitated flood of words. Malcolm fell silent, breathing heavily, and closed his eyes for a moment. Trip watched him, then briefly shook his head. "I don't know why you're so eager to have me outta here, Malcolm. I told you, if there were going to be any aftershocks or additional earthquakes, they'd already be over. And if against all odds there's really going to be more seismic activity, and I'm outside, on top of an unstable cave system, I'm in just as much danger as in here. I'm staying right here, Malcolm. Now please lie back down before you make yourself pass out again."

Malcolm let out a deep breath, hanging his head. "I... I just don't want anything to happen to you, Trip. I..." He raised his eyes again, and when Trip saw the look in them, he immediately ceased to pay attention to what Reed was saying.

Malcolm's gaze was slightly clouded up, pain-filled, but that wasn't what had attracted Trip's attention, nor were it the worry-lines around Reed's eyes. The thing that had caught Trip so completely off-guard was the expression that lay beneath the pain and worry. There was something that he'd seen on only two persons in his life; once in the eyes of an old girlfriend when he'd told her he wanted to break up, and countless times in his own.

He cleared his throat. "Malcolm..."

Malcolm, who'd still been talking, closed his mouth. "What?" he asked, his tone almost weary. A couple of times Trip tried to speak but found neither words nor his voice. He saw Malcolm study him. "What is it?" Reed asked, a little more alert, and when another look in the Lieutenant's blue-grey eyes confirmed Trip that he hadn't imagined what he'd seen before, Trip let himself be overwhelmed by himself and bend down, placing a gentle kiss on Malcolm's lips.

He'd fully expected Reed to pull back, maybe to push him away. Instead, Trip only felt him freeze under the touch. Then, when Trip was already about to break away, to his utter astonishment he felt Malcolm respond the kiss. For a moment, neither of them moved, both staying as they were, lips touching. Then Trip, his rational mind finally catching up, pulled back quickly, a gasp escaping his mouth.

"Oh God, I'm sorry," he said breathlessly, hastily retreating, putting a safe distance between them. "I didn't mean to-"

"Trip-" Malcolm was staring at him, eyes wide. Then he blinked a few times, shaking his head a little. "What just happened?"

"I-" Trip took a deep breath. He could have kicked himself. Just a few minutes ago, he'd been sitting there, contemplating on the futility of giving Malcolm any indication of how he felt, and now he'd kissed the guy. You're such an idiot, Trip Tucker. "I'm sorry, Malcolm. I shouldn't've-"

"Did you just kiss me?"

Trip closed his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Malcolm. It was-"

"Did you?"

"Yes." Trip opened his eyes again, and when he saw the grin spread on Malcolm's face, he briefly wondered if he might he hallucinating.

"I knew this away mission wasn't a complete waste of time," Reed said and let himself sink back down onto the floor, wincing at the movement. For once, Trip almost didn't notice it.

"What?"

"You just kissed me. That makes it safe to assume that you're at least a little bit attracted to me. For that knowledge I'd go through more than just a broken leg."

For a long moment, Trip was rendered speechless. This isn't happening, he thought. I fell asleep or something. But that wasn't the case. He knew that much, if nothing else. Carefully, he sat back down next to Malcolm and hesitantly put his hand on the Lieutenant's back again.

"Do you... so..." Again, he cleared his throat. "You're happy to hear that?"

"Very."

"So... so you're attracted to me... as well?" Inwardly, Trip winced at how extraordinarily stupid he must be sounding.

"Have been for a long time."

At these words, in Trip a knot that had been sitting just below his breastbone loosened, and he briefly closed his eyes. "Same here," he said quietly.

Tell me was it good for you,

Tell me what you want

TBC...

Please let me know what you think!