The Man Who Was His Father
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.
Chapter 9
Dan Scott had spent much of his life intimidating people, using his powerful stature to manipulate those around him. Lucas had grown up scared of his power and control, and his younger brother Nathan had grown up experiencing that power first-hand. Things were different now; Lucas was different.
Dan wasn't the same man either. His broad powerful shoulders and thick mop of brown hair were replaced by a weak thin frame of a body and a scalp left bald by months of intense chemotherapy. He was in obvious and constant pain, and Lucas was completely taken aback when he walked into the hospital room and saw the fragile man who lay before him.
The echo of the large hospital room door slamming shut brought Dan's attention to the door, and the figure looming in the doorway. An unsure pause passed between to the men as Lucas stepped entirely into the room. He was careful to maintain a certain distance between them, not wanting to get to close in any way to his father.
"Hello Lucas." The older Scott's voice was dry and raspy. Lucas couldn't help but look over all of the tubes and machines that were helping to keep Dan alive. It was a strange and sudden realization for Lucas, seeing this man in front of him barely hanging on. A man he never wanted to care about was now suddenly making him think twice about his decision. His thoughts were interrupted when Dan motioned for him to take the chair near his bed. Lucas could do nothing but oblige, as he moved towards the bed and sat in the uncomfortable steel chair.
"Nathan told me why you decided to coma and see me. You want to put this all behind you, and I accept that." Dan said as he winced in pain while coughs shook his body.
"I never asked you to accept anything Dan, I came here for myself." Lucas spat out bitterly.
"I understand, I know you probably have a hundred things to say to me. I'll just let you talk." Dan said.
"I don't want to sit here and relive my entire painful childhood with you because it was never that. I had a great mom growing up and she was there for me always, she made sure I had everything I needed. She was my mom and my dad and I loved her for that, but I never let her know that when I was little I used to wish you'd come home to us and want to be a family. I used to see you around the basketball courts with Nathan and I'd come home and ask my mom why you picked Nathan instead of me to be your kid. After my twelfth birthday I realized you'd never be coming to pick me up to go play ball, you were never going to be my dad. But as much as I hated to admit it, I needed a father." It was hard for him to say that, especially to Dan. There was a part of him that didn't want to give Dan the satisfaction of knowing that Lucas had missed having a relationship with him, but he was here to put the past behind him and the only way to do that was to be honest.
"I needed you to sit in the stands at my basketball games, I needed you to show me how to fix my tie on prom night, and play catch in the afternoons. I wanted you to be proud of me. But I don't need any of that anymore, I've grown up and moved past that all. I'm done with this whole 'holding on to old history'. I want to be more than all of this, I want to let go." He couldn't be angry anymore, he was ready to be done with it all.
" Lucas I wish I had more time to tell you how sorry I am. You never deserved to be treated as bad as I treated you. And to be entirely honest you were probably lucky you never had me as a father. Those times you saw me at the park with Nathan? I never took him there to spend the afternoon with him, he was there because I forced him to be. I made him practice for hours, he'd be out there until the lights turned off. And I'd be there on the sideline yelling at him to straighten out his elbow on his follow through. I was a bastard Lucas, I didn't deserve to be anyone's father. But you were just a boy and I was never there for you."
"I'm not a boy anymore, I'm a man who realizes that these things from his past are holding him back. And that's why I came, to resolve these issues. I put my feelings out there and you accepted what I had to say. That means a lot to me. You're not the same man you were years ago, I can see that and I respect that. I can forgive you for not being there, I want to forgive you." Lucas shifted his eyes from their position on the floor up to meet his fathers. The old man's eyes were soft and understanding. A simple nod was all the man could muster as his emotions had begun to overwhelm him.
"I don't know if I deserve your forgiveness Lucas. But I appreciate it more than you'll ever know. I just don't understand what changed your mind about coming." Dan said
"What do you mean?" Lucas asked.
"I talked to Nathan a few days ago. He told me you were in town. I asked him about you but he said you couldn't bring yourself to come down here. So what changed your mind?" Dan wondered.
"I found a few days ago that I'm going to become a father in seven months. Learning that just gave me this entirely new outlook on my life. I realized that in order to devote myself totally to my wife and son I had to get rid of this anger I've been carrying around for years. So I guess you have your unborn grandchild to thank for this semi-reunion." He glanced over at Dan wanting to gauge his reaction.
"My grandchild?" Dan said softly with the slightest hint of awe in his voice. His face fell quickly with the realization he would never see his first grandchild come into the world. He'd miss the same things he had with Nathan and Lucas. "I just wish I could be here to see him or her. I don't want to miss another Scott growing up."
"I'm sorry Dan, I didn't mean…" Lucas started, but Dan was quick to cut him off.
"Don't be sorry Lucas. Can you just promise me you won't tell my grandkids what an arrogant bastard I was to their father? I don't want them knowing about who I really was." There was a noticeable sadness to his voice that Lucas had not yet heard. The man who lay before him was completely unlike the man he knew when he was younger.
"You have my word Dan." Lucas promised.
"Thank you."
They shared an awkward silence for a few seconds before Dan suddenly thought of something to say. "Would it be alright if I asked you some stuff about your life? I don't know much about what you did after high school."
"Yeah ok, what do you want to know?" Lucas asked.
"Nathan's told me a few things, but I don't really know much more than you graduating from the University of North Carolina and moving away from Tree Hill."
"Well after high school I decided to follow this girl I was crazy in love with to UNC. I studied journalism and graduated with my degree. Peyton never did want to move back to Tree Hill and I realized that I just wanted to be with her. So we found a little house in Chapel Hill and started our own life there. I finally convinced her to marry me and we've been married for almost five years now. And that's the story so far." He shrugged his shoulders.
"You and Peyton are married huh? I always thought her and Nathan made an odd couple. I'm glad she has someone who really loves her. She's a good girl"
"I love her more than I've ever loved anyone." Lucas nodded.
"So what did you do with this degree in journalism?" Dan asked.
"I'm a writer for the Carolina Chronicle, I cover sports mainly college basketball. I'm trying to work my way up to Sports Editor, maybe in a few years. But I'm happy right now."
"You grew up into quite a man Lucas. Your mother should be very proud of the way she raised you." Dan said quietly.
Lucas had found himself growing more comfortable with Dan, the awkward pauses were less frequent and Dan had even managed to make Lucas laugh a time or two. Their attempted reunion was soon cut short by the static filled announcement that poured through the hospital speakers announcing the end of hospital visiting hours.
The young man stood from his chair, slowly allowing his cramped legs to stretch. "I should let you get your rest."
"I wish I had more time Lucas, more time to get to know my two boys and be a part of their lives." His unsteady voice was barely audible, above the humming of his machines.
"I know Dan." Lucas looked down as Dan grabbed his son's hand.
"I know how hard it was to come here and to face me. But thank you for coming, I know you came here for yourself, but it really does mean a great deal to me. You're an unbelievable man, and any father would be proud to call you his son. I just wish I had said that so many years ago. I'm proud of you Lucas.
Something in that brief moment propelled the young man to take a step he never thought he could. He leaned in towards his father and wrapped his arms around Dan's weak shoulders. And for a short-lived minute the two former strangers shared an unfamiliar embrace. As they broke Lucas pulled a piece of small black fabric from the pocket of his jeans. He held the material in his hands before placing the tattered square of black into the large hands of his father.
It took him a few minutes for the items familiarity to register. He'd seen the same piece of cloth fall to the gymnasium floor years ago.
"It's the nameplate from my old Ravens jersey. I took it off then because I hated the name, I was ashamed of being a Scott. That night I pulled it off my jersey I went back to the gym and found it under the bleachers. I kept it all this time to remind myself that I was supposed to hate you. I'm letting all that go now, and I want you to have It." He said as he curled Dan's fingers carefully around the cloth.
"Thank you." Dan whispered. Lucas merely nodded.
"I should get going." Lucas said.
"Goodbye Lucas." Dan said quietly.
"Bye Dan." He said as he turned and walked slowly out of the hospital room, the heavy door swung shut behind him.
There had been a million though racing through his mind before talking to Dan, but now he was overwhelmed by an incredible sense of calm. He rested the back of his head against the wooden door and looked over into the waiting room to see Peyton and Nathan resting uncomfortably in the stiff plastic chairs. She saw her husband standing outside the door and crossed the room to be with him. She wrapped her arms around him tight.
"Are you alright?" Peyton whispered.
"Yeah, better now that you're with me. It all turned out really well."
"I'm glad." She said as she pulled him a little closer. "Are you ready to go home?"
"Yeah just let me say goodbye to Nathan." The two brothers shared a hug, and Lucas thanked Nathan for giving him a gentle push in Dan's direction.
"I'll see you soon Nathan." He said as he walked away with Peyton's hand inside of his.
"I'll talk to you guys later." Nathan yelled after them, Lucas turned to wave over his shoulder at his little brother.
Alone in his hospital room, Dan ran his fingers over the large white letters of his last name… S-C-O-T-T. It was just a piece of black cloth to the casual observer, but to Dan it was some kind of a message. The one thing he'd wanted before he died was to have the chance to connect with his oldest son. He had done that and now realized there was nothing to stop him from finally giving in. He was ready to die. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. And he couldn't stop himself from burying his face into his hands, allowing his body to become wracked with heavy sobs. It was the only time in his life Dan Scott had ever cried, it would also be his last.
Authors note: This was definitely the hardest chapter I've written so far. I wanted to capture the feelings between the two men without really knowing what a meeting between the two of them would be like. I hope I did this chapter justice. I decided early on that their reconciliation wouldn't be entirely bitter. I wanted Lucas to have closure, that was the most important aspect to the story to me.
This is going to be the last official chapter for TMWWHF. I'm going to wrap it up with an epilogue. And I just want to sincerely thank all of you who took the time to read this story. All of the reviews inspired me to keep writing. I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I loved to write it.
My plan is to write a sequel right away. It will basically follow Lucas and Peyton and their journey into parenthood. I hope all of my great readers will follow me into this new story.
So let me know what you guys thought of this last official chapter, I need some reviews!
Thank you again!