Yes, you heard right. It's a Pirates of the Caribbean/Scarlet Pimpernel
fic.
Yes, it's weird. Hopefully, it will be original and funny. However, this
is my second fanfic, and my first attempt at comedy.
I don't think you have to be familiar with Pimpernel to like this fic, but it'll be funnier if you are. Also, I doubt you will regret familiarizing yourself with it.
Disclaimer: I wanna own the Pimpernel! Sadly, I don't own him. Or any of the Pirates, or anything you may happen to see in this fic.
That said, ON WITH THE SHOW!!!! ----------------------------
The sun beat on the island. No, I don't know what it beat the island with. A crowd had gathered in the town square. In the center of the square was a gallows. Not just any gallows, though. This one was painted magenta. Turbulent music was coming from the sky, for some reason.
The crowd was made up of very well-dressed people. Shinning from their eyes was the light of insanity. Further analysis has lead to the belief that the obvious craziness was caused mainly by the candy store that was located near the square. In various corners, particular nuts and hyper people were leading the mob in song.
Suddenly, and without warning, Commodore Norrington (it's a POTC fanfic -- someone has to be there) leapt up onto a conveniently placed soapbox, and began to sing (The crowd was, at this point, too hyper and distracted to realize that a singing Commodore was a very bad thing).
Norrington: iI know the gutter
And I know the stink of the street.
Kicked like a dog,
I have spat out the bile of defeat.
All you beauties who towered above me
You who gave me the smack of your --- /i
[No!!!!!!! Stop!!!! Bad Norrington, bad! This is not in character! You were never poor! And you were never smacked by beauties!!]
Norrington's face spread itself into a pitiful pout. "You mean I don't get my cool song?" [You'll get more, you're Chauvelin in this parody! Besides, this is an anti-pirate riot, not anti-bourgeois! If you've noticed, your audience is bourgeois.]
"Oh. Okay."
Meanwhile, the mob, undeterred by the scolding the Commodore was experiencing, had begun belting:
iSing! Swing! Savor the sting
As she severs you - Madame Guillotine/i
[STOP! Where do you see the guillotine? There is no guillotine! All I see is a magenta gallows.]
"A very pretty magenta gallows," cut in Norrington. "I painted it myself!"
[Nice.]
The crowd, however, was growing restless.
"Can we sing about Madame Gallows, then?" asked one man.
"Yeah!" said the crowd. (Which brings to mind the question of why "crowd" is singular, when it seems as though it should be plural)
[Can you think up a song for it?]
Silence.
[Why don't we not sing. Norrington, why don't you give us some narration.]
Norrington: Eh?
[Tell the nice reviewers what's going on.]
"Oh," said Norrington, as he turned to face you. "Well, the pirates are bad. We hate them. Nasty, dirty, people. They stole my wig. So We, the People of the Caribbean States, have decided to rise against them. Down with the dirty pirates!"
Here, our little friend burst into a long, maniacal laugh.
And the author decided to end the chapter.
------------------------------------------------
So, um, review? Please? All reviewers get free buttons! Also, I won't continue if you don't. Norrington will never get his special songs.
I know, typically you only get reviews if you review other people's stories, and I haven't reviewed your story.
Still, you see the button. You can push the button. Please? Criticism is okay, but please no profanity.
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V Look at the pretty Review Button! Push the pretty Review Button.
I don't think you have to be familiar with Pimpernel to like this fic, but it'll be funnier if you are. Also, I doubt you will regret familiarizing yourself with it.
Disclaimer: I wanna own the Pimpernel! Sadly, I don't own him. Or any of the Pirates, or anything you may happen to see in this fic.
That said, ON WITH THE SHOW!!!! ----------------------------
The sun beat on the island. No, I don't know what it beat the island with. A crowd had gathered in the town square. In the center of the square was a gallows. Not just any gallows, though. This one was painted magenta. Turbulent music was coming from the sky, for some reason.
The crowd was made up of very well-dressed people. Shinning from their eyes was the light of insanity. Further analysis has lead to the belief that the obvious craziness was caused mainly by the candy store that was located near the square. In various corners, particular nuts and hyper people were leading the mob in song.
Suddenly, and without warning, Commodore Norrington (it's a POTC fanfic -- someone has to be there) leapt up onto a conveniently placed soapbox, and began to sing (The crowd was, at this point, too hyper and distracted to realize that a singing Commodore was a very bad thing).
Norrington: iI know the gutter
And I know the stink of the street.
Kicked like a dog,
I have spat out the bile of defeat.
All you beauties who towered above me
You who gave me the smack of your --- /i
[No!!!!!!! Stop!!!! Bad Norrington, bad! This is not in character! You were never poor! And you were never smacked by beauties!!]
Norrington's face spread itself into a pitiful pout. "You mean I don't get my cool song?" [You'll get more, you're Chauvelin in this parody! Besides, this is an anti-pirate riot, not anti-bourgeois! If you've noticed, your audience is bourgeois.]
"Oh. Okay."
Meanwhile, the mob, undeterred by the scolding the Commodore was experiencing, had begun belting:
iSing! Swing! Savor the sting
As she severs you - Madame Guillotine/i
[STOP! Where do you see the guillotine? There is no guillotine! All I see is a magenta gallows.]
"A very pretty magenta gallows," cut in Norrington. "I painted it myself!"
[Nice.]
The crowd, however, was growing restless.
"Can we sing about Madame Gallows, then?" asked one man.
"Yeah!" said the crowd. (Which brings to mind the question of why "crowd" is singular, when it seems as though it should be plural)
[Can you think up a song for it?]
Silence.
[Why don't we not sing. Norrington, why don't you give us some narration.]
Norrington: Eh?
[Tell the nice reviewers what's going on.]
"Oh," said Norrington, as he turned to face you. "Well, the pirates are bad. We hate them. Nasty, dirty, people. They stole my wig. So We, the People of the Caribbean States, have decided to rise against them. Down with the dirty pirates!"
Here, our little friend burst into a long, maniacal laugh.
And the author decided to end the chapter.
------------------------------------------------
So, um, review? Please? All reviewers get free buttons! Also, I won't continue if you don't. Norrington will never get his special songs.
I know, typically you only get reviews if you review other people's stories, and I haven't reviewed your story.
Still, you see the button. You can push the button. Please? Criticism is okay, but please no profanity.
|
|
|
|
V Look at the pretty Review Button! Push the pretty Review Button.