Maelstrom by Karen
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I still don't own the characters!
Continuing on from where Storm Clouds left off. and Horatio is still not feeling himself!
Chapter One
Horatio had broken the kiss almost as suddenly as he'd allowed himself to be drawn into it. His mind confused and dazed by Calleigh's sudden and startling revelation. He felt like he was lost, everything that he believed in, everything that he was, had so suddenly changed and he couldn't shake the feeling from his marrow. He had totally given up; totally surrendered himself to what he had felt was his only escape from the misery coursing through his soul. Then out of the darkness he'd heard her voice so gentle and so tender in his ear. He had hesitated for a split second and in that instance he'd felt her hand slide the gun from his. He had let her; he didn't have any reason to fight her, no will left to argue. He'd felt her bury her head into his shoulders, felt her body shake against him as she held him. He had heard her words softly murmured, ever so slowly dragging him back from the storm that was about to sweep him away. Slowly he had clawed his way back reaching out to her through the clouds in his mind. He had vaguely registered the moan that had escaped her lips as he leaned against her desperate for her support. He had allowed her to lower them both to the wet sand. The concern in her voice, finally reaching past the blackness and allowing him to open his eyes and speak. He'd not been able to drag his eyes from the waves churning at his feet. He'd felt the rain slowly easing off as she touched his hair, his face. He knew he had spoken but he recalled no words, just the sudden shock of her lips touching his and he had pulled back not wanting to drag her into his despair. Not wanting her to feel his misery. More words followed he listened but he couldn't process them. They jumbled around in his mind not making any sense until she'd quietened him with another kiss. A kiss that he'd been unable to stop himself from responding to. Until the words, jumped into clear sentences through his confusion.
Calleigh held him as the waves started to recede, and the sun started to clear the clouds from the sky. The golden sunlight shining down fighting to ease the storm's grip on the sky, as she held tight to what was left of Horatio. The sand wet, beneath her seeped through the back of her trousers. She was now totally drenched but she didn't care, all she cared about was the shell of a man she cradled gently in her arms. Her ankle was killing her and she desperately wanted to remove her boot but she couldn't let go. The gun that she'd minutes before, eased from his grasp lay beside her in the sand. Cradling his head in her arms as she struggled to hold back the frustration, the anger and the helplessness. She stroked his hair, soothing him. Trying to soothe her own tormented mind, she shivered violently as the adrenaline started to ease from her now aching muscles and felt her stomach churn as the pain in her ankle doubled. The goose bumps rose on her cold wet skin as the sun fought to warm her. For a moment, she had felt like she had reached him; felt like she had made a connection through the torment that ravaged him but he'd broke away from her. Not wanting to push him, she allowed him to.
She felt him shiver as his body chilled in his wet clothes and decided it was time to try to move, before they both caught their death of cold. Removing one arm from around him, she felt him press closer to her seeking her suddenly withdrawn support. She reached over and picked up his gun, checking the safety she tucked it into her belt and tried to disengage her other arm from around his chest but he held on.
"Horatio, come on we have to get warm" she urged as she tried to stand; she wasn't sure she could manage to get him to his feet as well as herself. Slowly she felt his grip on her arm slacken and she eased her body away from him and tried to stand. Tentatively she tried her ankle and winced. She wasn't sure she could even make it to the car by herself let alone manage to get Horatio to his feet. She gently tugged at his jacket and somehow he registered Calleigh trying to encourage him to stand and he slowly climbed to his feet.
His conscious mind still a million miles away, his sub conscious kicked in and he instinctively kept his body as close to her as he could. Desperate just for contact with her, he held on as he struggled to stand, swaying as his legs turned to jelly under him. He grabbed her to steady himself and felt her weight shift. Watching as she bit her lip he saw the pain in her eyes.
"You're hurt" the words tumbled from his lips as the realisation crept into his head.
"I'm fine" she paused let's just get to the car and get warm" she smiled at him through the pain. Wrapping her arm around him for support she tried to turn around and struggled to hold herself upright. Somehow she managed to struggle to the car. With every step the pain seared up her leg and she hobbled dangerously at times but she could feel Horatio taking up some of her weight and leaning against each other they made it to the car.
Chapter Two
Calleigh's hands slid off the wet door handle as she struggled to open the car door. Trying to hold herself up against the car and bundle Horatio into it, was putting more pressure on her ankle and she bit her lip forcing back the tears of pain that threatened to pour down her face. Her mind rushed frantically thinking how she could get them both warm and dry. There were blankets in the hummer she knew, but she wasn't sure she could make it there and back and certainly couldn't negotiate the fallen tree. Her mind and her eyes flew back to Horatio, lying on the back seat his eyes closed she could see him shivering violently as his body chilled. She had to try, slowly and painfully she struggled to make the hundred yards to the hummer every step sending waves of pain up her leg. She could see the fallen tree, the hummer glistening in the sunlight a few more steps and she's be on solid ground. Then it hit her, she felt the excruciating pain rip through her as bone that had been tentatively balanced against it's broken edges gave way and shattered. She felt the wet sand as she crumpled into it, she heard the cry slide from her lips as the darkness sweep inwards from the edges of her vision, she yearned for it's release from the searing stomach churning pain and giving in to it, she passed out.
Horatio lay curled up on the back seat of the car, his arms locked around him struggling to stop his whole body shaking, his eyes closed firmly against the world his mind closed off from the onslaught of his own pain, he didn't hear her cry he felt it. Every nerve in his body jumped as the resonance carried down the beach and assailed his senses. His eyes flew open and he struggled upright. Every instinct he had screamed out to him. He had to reach her; he could make out her crumpled form on the edge of the beach. He forced his freezing cold body to move, climbing off the back seat he pulled his wet jacket tighter around him, as he made his way with an urgency he couldn't understand up the beach. His legs didn't seem to want to work properly and he felt himself stumble, he lost count of how many times his hands touched the sand for balance in his rush to reach her. Collapsing next to her in the sand he reached out and pulled her too him. Felt the comforting warmth of her spread though his aching body. He had registered her struggle to walk to his car and gently worked his hands down both her legs. He winced inwardly when finally his hand rested on her ankle and his fingers met raw bloody bone. Something far deeper than his conscious mind drove him onwards and using the warmth of her body, he found the strength to scoop her into his arms and stand up. Painfully slowly he reached the hummer Calleigh's unconscious form a dead weight in his arms. He managed to get her inside propping her up on the passenger seat; he grabbed the blankets from the back and wrapped them around her. Climbing into the drivers' seat he stared at the wheel. He did know how to drive but his hands were frozen on the wheel. His eyes fixed on the sticky clotting blood oozing between his fingers. His mind struggled to start the sequence that would get them moving. The low groan from next to him spurred his mind and he fumbled for the keys and started the ignition. Throwing the hummer into reverse he managed to execute a near perfect 5 point turn on the tiny road and ramming the huge machine into gear he set off back up the road he had never planned on travelling again. Every so often his tired eyes left the road to glance at her, she moaned softly as her body fought to regain consciousness. He knew she was better off not feeling the pain,
The tropical storm in all its majesty had brought havoc and destruction with it, trees lay scattered like dominoes, parts of the road ahead lay under water and in many places Horatio had to leave the road to negotiate debris scattered across his path. Thankfully the hummer coped with it's off road activities better than it's on road and slowly but surely he was closing down the gap between them and the nearest hospital. The worry he felt now for the woman lay next to him seeped into his conscious mind and functioning on the very edge of his comprehension Horatio battled to get her to safety.
Pulling the hummer almost into the doors of the emergency room Horatio ran round the front to reach Calleigh. Reaching in he gently lifted her into his arms and carried her inside. She moaned as the movement caused the darkness to shift, her body fighting to wake her. As suddenly as it did the pain seared and she relented, her mind not allowing it submitting back into the welcoming comfort of the arms holding her and the numbness it brought.
Chapter Three
Horatio sat in the weather lashed Hummer, small pieces of twigs and leaves still clinging defiantly to the hood and radiator. He had left Calleigh with the doctors; somehow he had managed to fill in the forms required for her surgery on her ankle, but he didn't remember doing it. He didn't remember shrugging the doctors off about their concern for him; he had just turned and left the building. He stared into the distance trying to focus on something, anything. But his eyes couldn't see what was there and so, he leaned forward to start the ignition. He felt the keys turn in his hand, the engine rumbled to life, as the cell phone on the passenger seat sprang into its tuneful melody. Reaching for it, he slowly looked at the display. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to anyone thus, without registering the caller's identity; he switched it off and pulled out of the hospital parking lot.
The clouds slowly flowed back out to sea as he drove back down the coastal road. The sun cutting its way across the sky was bringing the temperature up rapidly and the steam started to rise like spectres, from the fast drying tarmac. The battered branches of the roadside palms had started to stand their ground and wave proudly once more. His comprehension of his own situation was slipping desperately out of his grasp as the hypothermia started to set in. His clothes had started to dry and he started to feel warm again. Somewhere in the back of his mind, warning bells sounded and he knew he had to get dry and properly warm. The welcoming vacancy sign of a small beachside hotel beckoned and he pulled the hummer over onto the soft gravel of the driveway. Reaching into the back for the spare clothes he always carried, he climbed out and ventured up the smooth equally spaced pavers, to the white wooded front porch. The bright cerise Bougainvillaea framing it had been battered and buffeted by the storm and looked as bedraggled as he did. The cool fresh air overpowering after the rains, the scent of battered nature was all around him and he breathed deeply. Slowly breathing out steadying himself, he climbed the steps and knocked on the screen door.
Mrs Georgina Burghley was upstairs trying desperately to save her prized window box Begonias. When she heard the engine of the Hummer as it pulled onto her driveway. Looking out, she witnessed the dishevelled man with vivid red hair climb from the driver's seat. As the door closed she read the words painted on the side and gasped. Smoothing her grey hair back, she hurriedly walked down the stairs, pulling her apron off over her head as she reached the hallway, she tucked it behind the reception desk and straightened her dress. Glancing briefly in the old, gilt framed mirror that hung by the door, her reflection softened by the aged glass. Deciding she looked presentable enough, she opened the door to greet her visitor.
"Good Morning, can I help you?" She smiled genuinely. It wasn't often she got a visit from such a good looking, if not somewhat rumpled policeman. Horatio beckoned towards the vacancy's sign and in a voice still thick with emotion he managed to string a sentence together.
"Thank you, I would like a room, if that's possible" he queried. His eyes stayed low, and only briefly did they flash onto the wizened face before him. In that instant Georgina, her mind still quick for her age, caught a glimpse of the world of pain that dwelled within. Ushering him inside with her arm, she noted his half-dry clothes and the dried blood still on his hands and wondered what had happened.
"Come in my dear, that was an awful storm earlier, did you get caught up in it?" She asked him cheerily. Horatio just smiled quickly and ducked his eyes sharply to his hands.
"I'm Georgina, everyone calls me Gina." Her voice was cheery and bright as she prompted him for a response.
"Horatio Caine" his answer was abrupt very unlike him, his voice sounded alien to him, all he wanted was a hot bath and to sleep. The last thing he needed was to be dragged into a conversation. Realising her new guest wasn't in a talkative mood, Georgina hurriedly gathered up a key from the rack and swept her arm towards the stairs with a flourish. He followed her to the room she had allocated him.
Leaning backward against the closed door, he flipped the lock, securing it firmly. Looking around the room, the crisp chintz and lace glared at him and he slowly shook his head. Reaching for one of the fluffy white towels folded neatly on the edge of the dresser next to him, he pushed himself away from the door and headed for the bathroom. Sitting on the edge of the bath, he watched the water gush in a torrent from the old brass taps, filling the bathroom with warm comforting steam. Quickly he stripped his sodden clothes from his lean frame and climbed into the welcoming hot water and slid down until his chin rested on the surface.
Chapter Four
The sharp knock on the door stirred him from his stupor. The bath water had cooled around him, the steam had dispersed and he reluctantly pulled the plug, and climbed out. Wrapping the towel around his waist and firmly tucking it in, he exited the en-suite and, still dripping, made his way to the door. Unlocking and opening the door, he was greeted by Georgina. Her smiling face flushed from her walk up the stairs with the heavily laden tea tray.
"I thought you might like some tea and cake" She smiled pleasantly, ignoring his state of undress, as he stepped back to allow her into the room. The tray was almost spilling over with an assortment of cakes and biscuits and the china teapot lid rattled as Georgina stepped over the threshold. A light flicked on in Horatio's mind.
"Let me help you with that" he reached forward and took the tray from her, placing it on the table by the window. Georgina smiled glad for the help with the tray. Her ageing muscles weren't as strong as they used to be. She hesitated in the doorway unsure whether to speak again, she knew the troubled look in his eyes; she'd seen it before, a long time ago. Suddenly deciding she did not want to stir up memories from her own past, she left the room closing the door softly behind her.
Horatio dried himself quickly and pulled on his clean clothes. Hanging his jacket, over the back of the antique chair he sat down at the table, and poured himself a china teacup of hot sweet tea. Staring out through the swaged curtains, playing gently in the light breeze that danced through the barely open window, he hoped that the heat from the tea would help calm his flushed skin. He knew somehow, that it had been dangerous to warm himself so quickly in the hot bath, but hoped the warm liquid would drag his blood back inwards rather than it flooding his extremities. Teacup in hand, he assembled his thoughts. What did he need to do? Calleigh, he had to check on Calleigh. Picking up the telephone from the window ledge, he dialled the operator and waited to be connected to the local hospital. In truth, he didn't have a clue which hospital he had taken her to. First time lucky, the nurse on the end of the line confirmed her presence in the hospital nearest to his location. After the voice on the other end of the line had explained that Calleigh was still in surgery, he left a message to be passed on to Calleigh when she awoke. Replacing his teacup, he pulled his head down to meet his hands, rubbing his temples slowly in circles with the heels, he tried to rationalise the days events. Why had she followed him? For what earthly reason had she been so desperate to get to him, that she had walked on a broken leg to save him from himself?
The unconscious reaction to his thoughts brought one hand down from his temple as he touched a finger to his lips. The unbidden memory of a tender kiss stirred. He closed his eyes and the questions flooded his head. Images of events swum in and out of his minds eye, as he desperately sought out a voice of reason. Suddenly, he grasped at one and clung to it. The image he must have made stood out on the beach waiting for the tide to close around his feet. Waiting for the moment it would all be over, the pain, the anguish, and the loneliness. Waiting for the right moment for the sea to claim his lifeless body and sweep it into its majestic depths. Why had she stopped him, why had she taken the gun from his hand? What did it matter to her that he was alone? She couldn't have any understanding of what he held inside, the burden and the pain that never went away. Slowly he raised his head, why had she kissed him? Had she really kissed him or was that also all in his mind? He felt like the world was caving in around him but he knew one thing; he had to make sure that Calleigh was okay. The one thing he did know was that he cared and maybe sometimes, he cared too much. Maybe that was his problem. He allowed everyone else's problems to become his personal ones. That he knew was unhealthy, but how was he to change his lifetime habit?
Calleigh slowly came round from the anaesthetic, the room fading in and out of focus until she gained enough control over her eyes to survey her surroundings. Her first realisation was the absence of Horatio's presence.
Chapter Five
Calleigh's second realisation was that she was in hospital. She was not sure how she had arrived there but had a vague recollection of being, cradled in familiar strong arms. Horatio, where was Horatio? She knew without any doubt it was he, who had carried her from the beach she could feel it. She did not need to be told. She started to panic and reached for the buzzer at the side of the bed, IV tubes flying in all directions as she struggled to turn over and drag her legs over the side of the bed. Within seconds, the nurse was hovering over her trying to settle back down a reluctant and riled Calleigh.
"Where is the man who brought me in?" she demanded to know eyes wide in exasperation, as she gave up her struggle to climb out of the bed.
"He left you a message at the desk, I will bring it up for you shortly" puffed the nurse as she tucked the sheets back under the mattress. Ensuring Calleigh was moderately restrained by them, but not restricting her pinned ankle. She checked the IV and left the room.
Calleigh tried to calm her mind, her thoughts still on Horatio she needed to know he was safe. Her mind replayed the events on the beach and she shuddered. She had almost lost the most important person in her life, and now for the second time in twenty-four hours, she had no idea where he was. She also knew that only an idiot would try to leave the hospital, but something calmed her; somehow she knew he would be back. He cared for the people around him, to the extent that he would be more worried about her, than himself. Recollecting, how cold and wet, he had been when she found him the worry-increased tenfold and hitting the buzzer again she summoned the nurse.
Horatio dragged his world-weary soul out of the chair, and feeling nothing much more than tiredness. He collapsed on top of the bed and fell into a fitful slumber. His nightmares, weakened by the lack of sleep, flitted in and out of his dreams and he tossed and turned as he fought his own unenviable battle with his darkened reality. Slowly, but surely, the clouds that had clogged his mind and the shadows filling his heart dispersed like the storm earlier that day. Waking suddenly, he sprang up from the bed, sending the vase of flowers on the bedside cabinet, scattering in all directions. Racing across the room, he grabbed his jacket from the chair. Flinging the door open he rushed downstairs. Reaching the hallway, he leaned his head around the lounge doorway.
Georgina was sitting in the chair reading a book on gardening. She removed her reading glasses and placed the book down when she saw him. Making a sudden decision, she beckoned him into the room.
"Please sit down and join me for a few minutes" She had a look in her eyes, which told him he should and he relented. Doing as he was asked, he joined Georgina in the living room, sitting across from her. Fidgeting, he waited for her to speak.
"You seem, very troubled my dear" The straw; that broke the camels back.
He could not stop the words that spilt forth. That would have been like trying to stop the tides that surged across the bay outside. The heartbreak and the sorrow flowed from him. The loneliness he felt, the isolation. The guilt and the bitterness he felt over the deaths of his mother and brother, everything that he kept locked away and hidden inside. The cases, that he could not solve. The anger and the despair for the ones that he could not help. Then not understanding why, he told her the morning's events. How he had been ready to end it all, until Calleigh had found him and dragged him back from the brink. Georgina listened intently, nodding her head in understanding and acceptance of the depth of feeling and strength of will, the intensity and depth of character which cascaded like a river in full flood, from the relative stranger, seated before her. Her words, when she spoke, were words of comfort and of reason. Summoned from a knowledge and wisdom that came with age and the experience of her own loss, almost two decades previously. When the job and life itself had become too much, for her only child. He had not turned to her and she had been unable to save him. Leaving her to grow old, alone. Her heart went out to Horatio and she commended his bravery, in admitting his own feelings and allowing her to share the burden with him. Something that she had never been given the chance to do. The only person now that could truly save the man before her, was the one who loved him. Only when he could see that, would he realise that he had the whole world to live for.