Plans afoot

Predictably, Pippin found his cousin in the stables. Whenever he was at home, Merry seemed to spend hours with the ponies, training them and even just grooming them although there were many hobbits employed by the Master of Buckland for that very purpose. Merry was brushing one of his ponies with furious concentration, and did not even look up at Pippin's greeting, merely grunting his acknowledgement.

"There's a letter for you," Pippin proffered the small parchment packet, "looks like Frodo's seal."

Slowly, Merry's rhythmical movements ceased, and he set aside the brush and took the letter, turning it over to examine the direction: Frodo's hand, right enough. A mixture of excitement and dread began to churn his innards, but instead of opening the letter, he slipped it into his coat pocket and turned back to the pony.

Pippin frowned. "Aren't you going to read it?" There was an inquisitive rise in his voice.

"No," Merry replied with exaggerated patience, and much more quietly, although he was giving way to irritation with his younger cousin, "not here, not now. Later, empty head." He inclined his head in the direction of the stable doors, where one of the grooms, Madoc was mucking out a stall.

Pippin followed the direction of his nod; only to see Madoc down tools, wipe his hands on his clothes and walk away whistling. They were now alone, and he raised self-satisfied eyebrows and smiled. "Nothing to stop you now."

A tired headshake was almost more than Merry could manage. "Here's the curry comb, break the habit of a lifetime and make yourself useful while I read."

Regarding Merry with injured green eyes, Pippin nevertheless accepted the task and set to, whilst Merry brought forth the packet and broke the wax closure. The offer to groom one of Merry's prize ponies had to be viewed in the light of an honour, and was probably intended to be conciliatory, Pippin mused, however dreary it might seem to be. He heard Merry sigh and smiled to himself. "You were talking in your sleep something terrible last night..."

"Will you let me read?"

Momentarily silenced, Pippin made a few more desultory passes of the comb over Fortinbras' already shining coat. He patted the beast's neck, addressing himself to it, "Groaning and tossing and turning, he was. All night. I thought he was going to start practicing his kissing on the pillows at one stage...ouch!" He had ducked, but not quickly enough to avoid the cuff Merry aimed at him. Despite his protest of pain, however, Pippin was quaking with laughter. "It's too easy, Merry, you've got to grow a thicker skin..."

Merry held up the letter, his face betraying no amusement. "It's time. Frodo wants us to help him move over to Crickhollow in the next few weeks."

That quieted Pippin's laughter. He nodded slowly. Crickhollow was the Buckland house Merry had helped Frodo find for his so-called retirement. "Oh. Right then." Merry was looking worried, folding and re-folding the letter, chewing the inside of his mouth and staring into the distance. "Does that mean we're still going with him?"

Merry came out of his abstraction immediately, his sharply intelligent blue eyes darting about the stable as if seeking eavesdroppers, and put the packet away, this time into the inner pocket of his waistcoat. He was always like this whenever the subject of Frodo leaving the Shire came up; Pippin had noticed it many a time and had tried to follow his lead and be equally secretive. "We cannot let him go alone, or even just with Sam. All we've got to do is convince him of that."

"Well dear cousin," Pippin gave Fortinbras a parting pat and started out of the stall, "the sooner we leave, the sooner we'll return, and while I don't relish the idea of our little trip I'd rather begin than be forever hanging back," he bent to scratch the ears of the old tomcat who policed the Brandybuck stables along with his legion of offspring, "though it would be nice to know exactly where were going. Who's a lovely old puss, then?"

"I don't know that even Frodo understands that yet, Pip, so we can hardly find it out..." Merry broke off, shaking his head a little as if to exclude intrusive thoughts, "So – we'll ride out to Hobbiton tomorrow, two wagons should be enough, and we'll call in for Fatty on the way..."

"I'm sorry to deprive you of a reason to call on Estella again, but Fatty has already gone to Hobbiton, he told me before we left Budgeford that he meant to go in and catch up with Folco Boffin – I expect they'll run into Frodo or visit him anyway..."Pippin broke off as Merry kicked at the straw, the movement sending the tabby cat into an acrobatic spin and hissing retreat. Rising from his haunches, Pippin eyed his cousin with bemused sympathy; "Oh, Merry, now I know why you've been in such a temper...I thought you made it up with her before we left..."

There was along silence in which Merry tried and failed to master his irritation with his younger cousin. "You don't understand. We're not just 'going away' – it's perfectly possible we'll never come back, do you even realize that?" Merry stared angrily at Pippin, and went on, conscious of heaping hurt upon hurt but unable to stop himself, "Have you ever loved anyone? I'm not talking about wanting to lie with a girl, although, so help me...it's more than just that..."He began to walk away.

"I love you," Pippin said softly, "and I understand you, better than you give me credit for."

"Oh Pip," Merry shook his head, "that's...that's different..."

"You're going away without really telling her how you feel, keeping a secret from her that you know is going to break her heart..." Pippin put his head down and studied the floor with desperate concentration.

"Pip..."tears sprang into Merry's eyes, "I'm sorry," he walked back to Pippin and put an arm about his shoulders, touching his brow to Pippin's, "you aren't such an idiot, are you?"

"Thank you, I think." Pippin gave Merry's curls a companionable tug, broke away from him and began to walk towards the door.

"I've made a dreadful mistake in not telling her...she'd never betray us..." Merry spoke so softly that Pippin almost couldn't hear him, and he paused but did not turn back to look at Merry, closing his eyes as Merry went on, "I should have told her everything...I love her."

"Then we'd better drop in at Budgeford after all, hadn't we?" Pippin replied, somehow managing to sound cheerful. "Come on Merry, I think I heard the bell for supper a while ago..."