Disclaimer: I own nothing. You hear me? NOTHING, Not Pirates of the Caribbean, not Sir Mix-A-Lot, NOTHING
Author's Note: Hey everyone! I am starting this chapter right away because my writer's block is gone and I already know what I want to do for the next two chapters. Woooo! Go me! Remember flame's are OK. But all reviews are great.
FireValkyrie: Once again your review made me laugh. My mom always thinks I am weird when I read your reviews because it's like I am laughing to myself, actually I don't think she likes any joy coming from me until AFTER I've practiced the cello. Anyways moving on, I am glad you liked my chapter but that is definitely not one of my favorites but I have a good feeling about this one.
LotRFreak144: Dictionary.com defines a eunuch as a "man or boy whose testes are nonfunctioning or have been removed" OR "An ineffectual, powerless, or unmasculine man" I couldn't have said it better myself. I plan on using savvy whenever it seems like a "Jack Time" to say it, not actually when understand would be used. Is that OK by you, savvy?
Chapter 6 – The Secret revealed
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Scene opens to Narrator on deck… just like last time.
Narrator: *humming Baby Got Back*
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up tough
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, baby I wanna get with ya….
*stops short at site of Norrington*
Norrington: Why look it's the narrator, the cruel heartless women who hates all of us.
Narrator: That's not true. I like Jack! He's a lot of fun
Norrington: Fine whatever
Narrator: Why are you so grumpy? (NOTE: I mean the mood! I did not mean the dwarf! *screams as she is attacked by Disney lawyers*)
Norrington: Because, no one here likes me
Narrator: Why that's not true. I am sure they would like you… if I wasn't writing it so that they don't.
Norrington: Oh please, Jack wouldn't like me anyways. Neither would any of the other crew.
Narrator: Well that's because you people are natural born enemies. Why don't you wait until you go back home to Port Royal where you have friends?
Norrington: Yes, but that's awhile away. In any case, Elizabeth and I aren't natural born enemies. Yet she refused my proposal.
Narrator: Have you ever thought that it's because she loves Will and always has? And it's really nothing against you. She would have picked Will over the King of England! Besides, can you see why it might bother her that you are twenty years older than her?
Norrington: Not really… after all this is the 17th century.
Narrator: True
Norrington: Well I better be going. Elizabeth and Will want to discuss our "situation"
Narrator: Have fun! *Turns into a fish and jumps into the ocean*
Norrington: That lass is a strange one
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(A/N: Don't worry, I am only letting Norrington have one brief moment of sanity.)
Norrington walked over to the part of deck where Elizabeth and Will were. "So what do you want to discuss?"
Elizabeth was the one to start, "we think that my choosing Will over you and everything might have left some hard feelings between the two of you, so I am going to have you two shake hands right here."
Norrington glanced at Will, "you want this?"
Will opened his mouth to speak but was stopped short by Elizabeth elbowing him, "yes he wants it very much."
"Let's do it for Elizabeth, Will. No hard feelings?"
"Uh yeah… are you sure you are OK with this?"
"yes, sadly it is been shown to me that you and Elizabeth are truly meant to be together."
Elizabeth and Will watched dumbstruck as Norrington walked out of the room
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Narrator: *appearing out of nowhere* Well I am most proud of you Norrington. You proved yourself mature and responsible.
Norrington: thank you
Narrator: I thought of a question I wanted to ask you while I was swimming in the ocean
Norrington: Oh? And what would that be?
Narrator: What's your first name?
Norrington: First… name?
Narrator: You know the one your friends call you by
Norrington: Oh, you mean commodore!
Narrator: uh, no
Norrington: But I am a Commodore!
Narrator: I know you are but…
Norrington: In fact! I am a commodore! Elizabeth should be with me not that scoundrel, Will. He doesn't even have a career! Is he a pirate? Is he a blacksmith? Is he a blacksmithing pirate?
Narrator: What happened to the nice, sane you?
Norrington: He's back! All thanks to you Narry! I guess I was just acting so strange because I was so hurt that I Elizabeth picked Will and I thought I couldn't get her back, but now I know I can and will.
*thunder clashes and lightening strikes*
Narrator: I've told you not to call me Narry!
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And with one great strike Norrington was forced back with a bolt of lightening. He left his scorch mark on the wall as he slid down onto the deck of the ship. He stood and saw that the lightening had not destroyed the boat, it had instead left a shape. He walked over to see what it was and to his immense surprise a young, teenage girl stood before him.
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FireValkyrie: Hey I am in the fic! Cool!
Narrator: I called you here in hopes that you might be able to take care of him. *points towards Norrington*
FireValkyrie: Well as much as I love annoying Norry and everything I think I am going to need some collateral.
Narrator: Well you'd be spending a lot of time on the ship meaning you'd get to spend a lot of time with Jack
FireValkyrie: Deal! Now You, *turns to Norry* I think we had better get to work.
Narrator: Ah that's a load off of my back. Bye Norrington! I hope you like your special surprise!!!... I suppose I shall go find Jack.
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FireValkyrie: C'mon Norry! Let's play a game!
Norry: Number one; I am a commodore, I do not play games. Number two; Stop calling me Norry!
FireValkyrie: The narrator left you in my hands so now I can call you whatever I want. Besides, you calling the narrator, "Narry" is what brought me here in the first place.
Norry: That's different!
FireValKyrie: How?
Norry: Because; I am a Commodore, I demand and deserve respect. I am man of stature, people should look up to me and admire me.
FireValkyrie: You can't demand respect. You earn respect. You know for a commodore, you certainly don't have too many manners.
Norry: What??!!? I have plenty of manners! I am…
FireValkyrie: blah, blah, blah… Everything you say is repetitive and dull. I think you need speech lessons. In fact, *light bulb overhead brightens* come on Norry.
Norry: Where are you taking me?
FireValkyrie: To see the narrator, I want to ask her if she can write in you going to boarding school.
Norry: Wait right there, I do not need to go to boarding school. I have impeccable manners, am wonderfully groomed, and eat healthy foods. I am perfect. Also, I thought she was the narrator… isn't it the author that writes the story?
FireValkyrie: You idiot, haven't you figured out yet that she IS the author/narrator. She just prefers to go by Narrator.
Norry: No, I did not know that.
FireValkyrie: Now you do, you idiot.
Norry: You know I am a commodore, there's no need to be calling me an idiot.
FireValkyrie: I see plenty of need
Norry: But then you would be a liar giving me plenty of reason to sing: Liar, Liar Pants on fire over and over and over again until my voice is all you can ever hear. Even when you are trying to get to sleep at night, all you can think of is my voice.
FireValkyrie: OR, I could do this *snaps fingers*
Norry: *mouth has a giant zipper across it which happens to be zipped*
FireValkyrie: *looks at Norry like an artist surveying her work* Yes… yes this will do nicely.
Norry: mmmmph!!
FireValkyrie: *back turned* What's that Norry? I can't hear you.
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Narrator: C'mon Jack, why don't you let Anna-Maria take over for a little bit? You need a break
Jack: I don't need a break. What I do need is me rum
Narrator: Well then come with me to get some.
Jack: No, but if you could get me some that would be great
Narrator: C'mon Jack, why not?
Jack: You are a strange lass. Writing this story and all and not knowin' why I wouldn't want to take a break.
Narrator: Clarify it, for the readers
Jack: The last time I took a break that happened, *points to Will*, and then he and his bonnie lass cause Norrington to happen. Do you see why I might be a little hesitant to take a break?
Narrator: Ah yes but I control everything and as long as you don't piss me off I won't cause anything to happen.
Jack: Well you got a point there. All right perhaps a little rum will do me good.
Narrator: That's the spirit
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FireValkyrie: You know Norry, you aren't so bad when you can't speak
Norry: mmmph
FireValkyrie: Well you have a point there, your voice is critical to the plot. *snaps fingers*
Norry: ah much better.
FireValkyrie: yeah, yeah, whatever you say.
Norry: *looks at heading* Stop Calling me Norry!!!
FireValkyrie: no I don't think I will
Norry: why not?
FireValkyrie: because it bugs you and teaches you a lesson in humility, one which will be invaluable at boarding school
Norry: You know, they won't accept a 43 year old man at boarding school
FireValKyrie: hmmmm, I suppose you are right. *snaps fingers*
Norry: *high voice* What???!!!?? *looks down at body* AAAAA I am ten years old again
FireValkyrie: ten years old in body, your mind remains the same
Norry: Oh well that's good
FireValkyrie: C'mon, chop chop, we need to go find the Narrator
Norry: Yeah, we do, maybe she will send you away
FireValkyrie: Only after I've sufficiently bugged you.
Norry: mmmph
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Narrator: So Jack
Jack: RUM! I NEED MORE RUM!
Narrator: *waves hand* there more rum. Now, we need to talk.
Jack: About what?
Narrator: About your conversation with Norrington
Jack: What about it?
Narrator: What were you going to say?
Jack: I dunno; some stuff about not speaking, staying in his cabin all day, him being a bloody git.
Narrator: So basically you were just seeking him out to insult him?
Jack: Yeah, pretty much.
Narrator: Oh OK, so then it won't damage the plot if I don't include it despite earlier attempts?
Jack: No not really, besides I am over it by now
Narrator: Oh well that's good
Jack: Is that all you wanted to talk about?
Narrator: *thinks* hmmm yeah I suppose that's it
Jack: Very good savvy!
Narrator: Well I will be seeing you then, *turns into Harry Potter*
Jack: *falls out of chair laughing* HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Narrator: Crap! I said "Portal" NOT "Potter"
Jack: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Narrator: It's not funny Jack, *disappears with a small pop*
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Will looked at Elizabeth and uttered four little words, the four little words that could change everything, the four little words that could turn everything around, the four words that can separate the men from the boys. "No queens, go fish" (A/N: 20 bucks says you were thinking he was going to say "Will you marry me?")
"You know Will," Elizabeth as she stroked his hands, "We could make this game more interesting."
Will just smiled and laughed, "You are only mad that you are losing, besides you can't play strip, go fish."
"Oh can't we?" Elizabeth smirked and picked up a top card of the deck, "Well it looks like my luck is changing!" she said as she placed down four cards. She gracefully brushed her hair off her shoulder and smiled gently at Will.
"OK! OK! If you really want to play the 'interesting' version that bad then we will do so"
"I thought you might change your mind" Won't we have to start another game then?"
Will suddenly stood up shocked, "So that was you plan all along, start a new game and make me look like the idiot when I am sitting here in my shorts and you have all the cards!" He glared at her and continued, "That was you plan all along wasn't it? WASN'T IT?"
Elizabeth only looked mildly taken aback however, "What to win Go Fish and get you to take your clothes off in the process? Yes that was my plan. Is that so wrong?" she said.
Will sat back down, "no, just so long as we're clear."
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FireValkyrie: Anna-Maria, would you happen to know where Jack is?
Anna-Maria: I think he went somewhere with the narrator.
FireValkyrie: *grumble snap*
Random Pirate: They went into the galley
FireValkyrie: Oh, thanks.
Random Pirate: No problem
FireValkyrie: C'mon Norry
Norry: *sigh*
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Narrator: *turns upon hearing name* Oh hey FireValkyrie! Hey Norrington!
Norrington: See! She calls me Norrington!
FireValkyrie: *kicks Norry in the shin* Happy, Norrington?
Norrington: *whimpers* no
Jack: *laughs* that was great! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Narrator: Quiet Jack
Jack: I see you got that little "Potter" problem fixed
Narrator: Quiet Jack
FireValkyrie: I wanted to ask you something
Narrator: OK
FireValkyrie: What do you think about sending Norrington to boarding school?
Jack: Oh that's rich! You hear that Norry? You are going to boarding school!
Norrington: *girlish scream* Why are you people so mean to me???
Narrator: *ignores him* Well despite the fact that he now looks young enough to be sent to boarding school, he can't miss Tortuga.
FireValkyrie: It would provide an interesting plot twist
Narrator: Hmm I suppose you are right… I'll think about it later on in the story I suppose
FireValkyrie: OK, cool
Narrator: Oh by the way! Jack this is FireValkyrie, FireValkyrie this is Jack
Jack: Perhaps I could get to know you better later on, say in my cabin.
Narrator: *slaps Jack upside the head* JACK! You don't need to hit on every woman on the ship!
Jack: I haven't… Have you seen me flirting with Norry over there?
Norrington: HEY!
Narrator: I suppose that's true
FireValkyrie: I am sorry Jack but as I am only 17…
Jack: *whistles* International waters *whistles*
Narrator: I will have to keep an eye on you Jack. Dear Lord! What'll I do when the fangirls start to come??!!??
Jack: Well I will be having a wonderful time meself
Norrington: I as well, will be enjoying the company of the fangirls.
Narrator: If anyone wants to be your fangirl Norrington, then they can have you
Norrington: WoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoT!!!!!!!!!!
Narrator: Well we'll see how much fun you'll have in Tortuga.
Norrington: *whimpers*
Narrator: *turns to leave* OH! Before I go! *snaps fingers*
Norrington: My body! My real body! *glares at FireValkyrie*
Narrator: Whatever, you people are twisted enough, besides I have to go narrate Will and Elizabeth's scene. *a portal appears* *jumps through*
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"This is rather remarkable Elizabeth, you keep losing." Will said to Elizabeth as she removed another stocking. (How could she? Scandalous!)
"Oh you just wait Will Turner, you just wait."
"Until what?"
"Tortuga, my sweet, Tortuga."
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Author's Note: Wow! That was my longest chapter ever. I will probably post in a few days after having reviewed a few times. I have a few apologies to make. First of all, I apologize for the shoddy writing on previous chapters. Seventh grade killed a lot of things for me. I used to love to write and I was damn good at it to, if I do say so myself. Then in seventh grade we never did anything but essays so I never really got any practice. The same thing happened with reading, I suppose seventh grade just screwed me over. Anyways, I feel that these chapter are gradually improving (except for Chapter 5, there was a lot I didn't like about that one) Thanks for reading and reviewing, you guys are the greatest!
Wanted: Fangirls! Pick a character, any character! Also, I need someone who is willing to annoy Elizabeth
Confession: I LOVE LEGOLAS MARY-SUE'S! OK, well I take that back I only like one of them, but in any case it's a total Mary-Sue but I like it anyways. Woo, I am glad I got that off of my chest!