Sarah: This is a song chapter and has pages right out of Seto Kaiba's diary! Enjoy!
Accessing…
Seto Kaiba's Personal Journal…
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Access Granted- Good Afternoon, Seto-sama.
06/05/04
I look out the window at Mokuba and Saya and I can't help but smile. They're in the pool, playing some sort of game- Mokuba has his eyes closed, trying to find Saya, who is swimming away from him. (A.N: Marco Polo!) Just when it seems like he's caught her, she darts away from him and he ends up with a face full of water. Saya laughs happily and they start the whole thing over again. But as I watch them, I can't help but think about the person I was… the person I still am.
I'm not a perfect person
There are many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you…
I used to be cold, cruel… heartless. Hell, at times I still am. I cared little about anyone but myself… Mokuba. I don't know how he puts up with me. God knows I'd do anything for him- I'd die for my little brother. I never told him that- I never showed him that. Not until Noa came around…
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know…
Noa. Technically, the little bastard was my brother too, but nothing short of brainwashing could ever make me think of him as such. Mokuba thought of him that way. Mokuba always tried to see the best in people. I never did- never really saw a reason too… not until now.
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
Mokuba, my little brother and Saya, my little sister. The two most important people in my life. The two people I would probably… that I would definitely die without. With Mokuba, it took me a while to figure that out… especially since I hated him for the first part of my life. Yes. You heard me right. I hated him. I hated him because he was alive and our mother wasn't. Even though it wasn't his fault, I hated him for that. When we were in the orphanage, the only reason I looked after him was because our real father had asked me to…but that changed.
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
I remember it so clearly. In the orphanage, Mokuba and I had beds right next to each other at the far end of the room (Now that I think about it, before I adopted her, Saya had been sleeping in the bed that had once been mine…). I woke up one night to hear him crying softly and asked him what was wrong. He told me about a dream he'd had, that I was mad at him because he made Mom and Dad go away.
"You kept saying it was all my fault," he said. "Mom and Dad told you it wasn't, but you kept saying it was! Niisama…" Mokuba took a deep breath, holding back his tears. "Don't hate me… please." I put my arms around him, hugging him tight.
"I don't hate you, Mokuba," I told him. And it was the truth- I didn't hate him. I couldn't hate him anymore.
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
The day Gozaburo died was the best day for both of us. I obtained control of Kaiba Corporations and regained control of my life. I made sure Mokuba and I had the best of everything… but it wasn't enough. I needed more. I thought what I needed was to be the best Duelist in the world. When Yugi took that away from me, I just tried harder… but that wasn't what I needed. What I needed… was Saya.
I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
Saya. Asayake. Morning glow. No matter how you say it, she is the light of the Kaiba Family. I don't know why, but I loved her instantly. I didn't show it. I never wanted to… I wanted it to look like I felt guilty for insulting her in our duel, for offering a draw. That wasn't it at all. When I saw those two jerks beating on her, I flipped- how DARE they hurt her. After that, one thing led to another… and now she's here. God, how I'd be lost without her… and to think I almost did.
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
Bakura. Tanaka. They almost took her away from me. I almost took her away from me. I never meant to. It was dumb really- she had gotten a hold of my cell phone and discovered that by pushing the buttons she could make little songs. By the time she was finished, she'd called some woman in Andover, New York, USA (A.N: ! My Home Town!), and ran up a 400,000-yen phone bill. I yelled at her, telling her that my phone wasn't a toy… and that sometimes I wished I hadn't adopted her and I should send her back. I swear to God, I heard her little heart break… shatter. But before I could do anything, say anything, she ran off. I didn't follow her.
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
An hour later I went to her room and knocked on her door. She didn't answer. I told her I was sorry, that I didn't mean what I'd said and I'd never send her back there. There was still no answer, which worried me. Saya was such a forgiving soul; she never held a grudge long. I pushed open the door- to my horror I found the room empty. Her dragon and bear were gone… SHE was gone. I ran around the house, calling her name, telling her this wasn't funny. I looked in the living room, the bathroom, the kitchen… all of her usual spots in hide and seek. She was nowhere to be found. Mokuba hadn't seen her either. I was scared- she could have run away… someone could have taken her… she could be hurt… then my limo driver, Kiogi called my name.
"Mr. Kaiba," he said. "I need you to come with me." I followed him out to the limo and opened the door to the back seat. Saya was lying there fast asleep, her head resting on her bear and her arms wrapped around her dragon. Kiogi explained that Saya had come to him about an hour ago, telling him that she wanted to go back to the Kame Orphanage. He tried to talk her out of it, but she refused. He ended up driving her around until she fell asleep. Once she had, Kiogi brought her home and came to look for me. I sighed, relieved, and picked her up. Saya woke up and looked at me like she was ready to tell me off. I hugged her tight.
"I'm sorry, Saya-imouto," I whispered. "I am so, so sorry."
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
Seto ended his journal entry and leaned back in his chair, grinning. Life was good. He didn't think it could get any better.
"BONZAI!" Seto felt a stream of cold water hit the back of his head and roll down his back. He jumped up in surprise and turned around. Saya was standing behind him, a Super Soaker in her hands. "Tag! You're it!"