A/N: Ok, at long last we have an update! Thnks to all those who have stuck
with us! Hope you enjoy it!
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For a moment everyone was silent, staring at Roger with hate in their eyes. Then Sacheral choked on his bean and Raoul laughed at him.
The assembley of Noble Gentlemen, Gentlewomen and Gentlechildren (ok, not so many gentlechildren) began to slowly file out of the Hall and into one of the many combat rooms. Alanna, Thom and their friends went to Alanna's room to prepare, while Roger's supporters went with him. They had 30 minutes to prepare.
Just after Alanna had finished her steam bath and facial, and begun her make-up routine, Gary (who had been absent from the feast) burst in, holding a large brown paper envelope with a question mark on it.
"Guys! I know whose trying to kill the Queen!" he yelled. Everyone looked at him.
"But Gary," said Alanna. "We've already worked it out, and I've challenged him to Trial by Combat."
"Oh," said Gary, disappointed. "But I went to all this trouble, what with the envelope with the question mark on it, and the evidence and all........." and he sat down on the bed, looking dejected.
"Well, that's ok Gary," said Alanna kindly. "Why don't we take a look at your evidence anyway?"
Everyone parked their bums on the bed around Gary, and he opened his giant novelty envelope, a much happier look on his face. "Ok, now this first piece of evidence just looks like a use band-aid, and it is, but the rest of the stuff don't make no sense without it. Now this next thing........." said Gary, pulling a live silverfish out of the bag.
"Um, Gary?" asked Jon, "How is this leading to Roger trying to kill the Queen?"
"Roger?" asked Gary. "Oh! Oh, I was going for Myles. Roger you say? Give me five minutes." And he left the room.
But by then Alanna was ready and everyone trooped down to the Combat Hall for the Trial By Combat.
Upon reaching the Hall, they found Roger conversing with the monarchs. The Queen's shrill nasal voice rang out across the Hall. "This is the worst thing you've ever done!" To which Roger replied, "You've said that so many times it's lost all meaning!"
After a minute, Alanna and Roger then moved to the centre of the Hall. "Let the Combat begin!" bellowed the King.
Alanna and Roger began to dual. The battle was swift. Both duellers were very good, Alanna because she was a knight, and Roger for some unknown reason. Then something happened that would later be described as "shockingly awful".
Alanna was slow to dodge one of Roger's swipes, and the length of sharp metal he was using as a weapon cut through her pants pocket. A signed copy of her soon-to-be-released autobiography "Yes, I am a girl!" by Alanna of Trebond, aka Alan of Trebond, fell out onto the floor.
"Halt!" boomed the King in a booming voice. Quieter, he said, "Give that book to me."
Roger picked up the book. His eyes widened as he gazed upon the cover, and he handed it to the King. The King opened the book, and started to read, muttering as he did. After an hour, he looked up at the twins, who were now standing together. "It says here," said the King, "That Alan of Trebond is really a girl named Alanna of Trebond. Is this true?" he asked her.
Alanna hung her head in shame. "It's true, your majesty."
The crowd of onlookers gasped, and a random lady not important enough to warrant a name fainted. Everyone looked at Alanna, shocked that she would dare to try something like this!
"Wait, there's more!" said the King. "It also says that Thomasina is really a boy named Thom!"
The women in the crowd looked shocked. The men in the crowd looked at each other, smiles slowly spreading across their faces. As one, they let out a mighty cheer!
"What? What are you all cheering about?" asked a female member of the crowd.
"Him," said her husband, wiping a tear from his eye. "He's managed to fulfil all of our dreams!"
The women in the crowd looked confused, but then comprehension dawned on many of their faces. "So that's why there's sometimes mud on my dress," another unimportant woman said. "You use them, don't you husband dear?"
"No-one's ever gone so long without being found out," commented another man, grinning.
Rowena cleared her throat. "#$%$# actually," she said. "There %# is one. Thomasina is !&&% certainly the first to become a court Lady, but %&$# someone had been a Lady for !$% longer than him."
Everyone looked at her, confused. "Who is that?" the asked.
Rowena replied, in a much deeper voice, "Hi, my name's Robert, and I'm a guy."
Everyone looked at her, then cheered again.
"Why'd you do it?" asked someone.
"We switched places when we were ten," said Alanna. "It was just what we wanted to do with our lives."
"I think Alanna had the easy part of the deal," Thom added. "She didn't have to lie to people she cared about all this time. Everyone she cared about already knew."
"Well, that sorts that out," said the King. "Well done to the both of you! Now, let's just forget that this ever happened."
"But what about Roger?" asked yet another random, nameless person. "He and Alan still have to finish fighting!"
But at that moment, Roger put down his sword. "Oh, who needs you," he said, annoyed. "I'll make my own kingdom, with blackjack, and hookers. In fact, forget the kingdom and the blackjack!" As he walked out of the room, a giant anvil dropped on his head, killing him instantly.
"Hmm. The God's must be angry crazy," observed an observer.
Everyone else began to leave as well. As Thom walked out, he tripped over his Secret Fairy Diary With Matching Padlock. "I don't know why I keep leaving this lying around, he said to himself.
Thanks to:
Hawk: Thankies!
Flaming Knight: Woof!
Alanna-of-Olau: :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Princess Cora: GIRLY is a very good thing when it comes to Thom. I think Nita drew a cover for the story. It's around here somewhere.........
Pyromage: Yeah, it's swearing. She swears a lot. :)
Sarai Ice-Elf: Wipes tear from eye poor DotG. Oh well, you get that. It's a shame it went when it did, cos Dr Snrubs was about to join with a girl called Ivy. Never mind. And I still think you have the best TP related name on the planet!
I won't write my name, so hah!: Very happy!
Lady Leah of Chaos: No! More is here, we swears it!
Moonglow13: :D Thankies!
Guenevere: No, not killing you? Oh no!
Antidisestablishmentarianism: The point entirely. Woohoo! :D
A/N: And, the best bit of good news, this may be the last chapter of the story cries but we have 2 more bonus chapters, coming your way within the next few weeks (yes, you heard me. Weeks, not months or years!) It's full of delightful delights and wonderful wonders. So stay tuned!
Googlepuss
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For a moment everyone was silent, staring at Roger with hate in their eyes. Then Sacheral choked on his bean and Raoul laughed at him.
The assembley of Noble Gentlemen, Gentlewomen and Gentlechildren (ok, not so many gentlechildren) began to slowly file out of the Hall and into one of the many combat rooms. Alanna, Thom and their friends went to Alanna's room to prepare, while Roger's supporters went with him. They had 30 minutes to prepare.
Just after Alanna had finished her steam bath and facial, and begun her make-up routine, Gary (who had been absent from the feast) burst in, holding a large brown paper envelope with a question mark on it.
"Guys! I know whose trying to kill the Queen!" he yelled. Everyone looked at him.
"But Gary," said Alanna. "We've already worked it out, and I've challenged him to Trial by Combat."
"Oh," said Gary, disappointed. "But I went to all this trouble, what with the envelope with the question mark on it, and the evidence and all........." and he sat down on the bed, looking dejected.
"Well, that's ok Gary," said Alanna kindly. "Why don't we take a look at your evidence anyway?"
Everyone parked their bums on the bed around Gary, and he opened his giant novelty envelope, a much happier look on his face. "Ok, now this first piece of evidence just looks like a use band-aid, and it is, but the rest of the stuff don't make no sense without it. Now this next thing........." said Gary, pulling a live silverfish out of the bag.
"Um, Gary?" asked Jon, "How is this leading to Roger trying to kill the Queen?"
"Roger?" asked Gary. "Oh! Oh, I was going for Myles. Roger you say? Give me five minutes." And he left the room.
But by then Alanna was ready and everyone trooped down to the Combat Hall for the Trial By Combat.
Upon reaching the Hall, they found Roger conversing with the monarchs. The Queen's shrill nasal voice rang out across the Hall. "This is the worst thing you've ever done!" To which Roger replied, "You've said that so many times it's lost all meaning!"
After a minute, Alanna and Roger then moved to the centre of the Hall. "Let the Combat begin!" bellowed the King.
Alanna and Roger began to dual. The battle was swift. Both duellers were very good, Alanna because she was a knight, and Roger for some unknown reason. Then something happened that would later be described as "shockingly awful".
Alanna was slow to dodge one of Roger's swipes, and the length of sharp metal he was using as a weapon cut through her pants pocket. A signed copy of her soon-to-be-released autobiography "Yes, I am a girl!" by Alanna of Trebond, aka Alan of Trebond, fell out onto the floor.
"Halt!" boomed the King in a booming voice. Quieter, he said, "Give that book to me."
Roger picked up the book. His eyes widened as he gazed upon the cover, and he handed it to the King. The King opened the book, and started to read, muttering as he did. After an hour, he looked up at the twins, who were now standing together. "It says here," said the King, "That Alan of Trebond is really a girl named Alanna of Trebond. Is this true?" he asked her.
Alanna hung her head in shame. "It's true, your majesty."
The crowd of onlookers gasped, and a random lady not important enough to warrant a name fainted. Everyone looked at Alanna, shocked that she would dare to try something like this!
"Wait, there's more!" said the King. "It also says that Thomasina is really a boy named Thom!"
The women in the crowd looked shocked. The men in the crowd looked at each other, smiles slowly spreading across their faces. As one, they let out a mighty cheer!
"What? What are you all cheering about?" asked a female member of the crowd.
"Him," said her husband, wiping a tear from his eye. "He's managed to fulfil all of our dreams!"
The women in the crowd looked confused, but then comprehension dawned on many of their faces. "So that's why there's sometimes mud on my dress," another unimportant woman said. "You use them, don't you husband dear?"
"No-one's ever gone so long without being found out," commented another man, grinning.
Rowena cleared her throat. "#$%$# actually," she said. "There %# is one. Thomasina is !&&% certainly the first to become a court Lady, but %&$# someone had been a Lady for !$% longer than him."
Everyone looked at her, confused. "Who is that?" the asked.
Rowena replied, in a much deeper voice, "Hi, my name's Robert, and I'm a guy."
Everyone looked at her, then cheered again.
"Why'd you do it?" asked someone.
"We switched places when we were ten," said Alanna. "It was just what we wanted to do with our lives."
"I think Alanna had the easy part of the deal," Thom added. "She didn't have to lie to people she cared about all this time. Everyone she cared about already knew."
"Well, that sorts that out," said the King. "Well done to the both of you! Now, let's just forget that this ever happened."
"But what about Roger?" asked yet another random, nameless person. "He and Alan still have to finish fighting!"
But at that moment, Roger put down his sword. "Oh, who needs you," he said, annoyed. "I'll make my own kingdom, with blackjack, and hookers. In fact, forget the kingdom and the blackjack!" As he walked out of the room, a giant anvil dropped on his head, killing him instantly.
"Hmm. The God's must be angry crazy," observed an observer.
Everyone else began to leave as well. As Thom walked out, he tripped over his Secret Fairy Diary With Matching Padlock. "I don't know why I keep leaving this lying around, he said to himself.
Thanks to:
Hawk: Thankies!
Flaming Knight: Woof!
Alanna-of-Olau: :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Princess Cora: GIRLY is a very good thing when it comes to Thom. I think Nita drew a cover for the story. It's around here somewhere.........
Pyromage: Yeah, it's swearing. She swears a lot. :)
Sarai Ice-Elf: Wipes tear from eye poor DotG. Oh well, you get that. It's a shame it went when it did, cos Dr Snrubs was about to join with a girl called Ivy. Never mind. And I still think you have the best TP related name on the planet!
I won't write my name, so hah!: Very happy!
Lady Leah of Chaos: No! More is here, we swears it!
Moonglow13: :D Thankies!
Guenevere: No, not killing you? Oh no!
Antidisestablishmentarianism: The point entirely. Woohoo! :D
A/N: And, the best bit of good news, this may be the last chapter of the story cries but we have 2 more bonus chapters, coming your way within the next few weeks (yes, you heard me. Weeks, not months or years!) It's full of delightful delights and wonderful wonders. So stay tuned!
Googlepuss