Every time I close my eyes
A/N: Well, this chapter's kinda longer than the others cause i just got carried away... anyways i'm kinda sick right now so not sure if i can update everyday but i'll try, also i've got to go to work and i really dont want to but you gotta keep the dosh rollin'. Enjoy!
Also, thanks to the many who've reviewed... you know who you are!
Disclaimer: JK Rowling = Owner
'Harry, you've got to understand, the um... the Vertaserum Potion's effect wore off and... um... and I just said the first name that popped into my head... just happened to be Hermione...' Ron explained after they finished their horrible potions class and were walking upstairs towards Gryffindor Tower.
'Yes Ron, and I think Nearly Headless Nick's head has finally fallen off', Harry laughed. 'No need to hide it from me you know, you've already confessed. Just don't worry about that now, worry about our tryouts on Saturday and hope that we've got a fair bit of talent left in Gryffindor,' he added. However clueless Harry was, he'd always seem to think of the brighter side of things... kind of...
'Yeah... well... I guess. Hey so Ginny's definitely in right?' Ron asked now slightly forgetting about the incident.
'Yup. But she's got to pretend to tryout anyway. The others might think its favouritism', Harry replied.
'Well, it is isn't it?' Ron said laughing slightly at the thought.
Harry frowned, eyed him for a bit, then smiled, 'Yes, well... no need for anyone to find out is there'.
'Hey Ron!' Seamus called over Ron and Harry's laughter. 'Hermione just wanted me to tell you that she's waiting for you by the lake... I think she needs some cheering up!' he laughed slapping Dean who was standing beside him a high five.
'Shut it Seamus', Ron yelled crumpling up a piece of parchment from his pocket and chucking it at him.
'Ron what are you doing?' he heard a voice say from behind him. He turned around so quickly he felt like burping slugs all over again.
'Why are you chucking rubbish at Seamus, you're a prefect. That's setting a bad example', Hermione went on.
'Yeah... well he deserved it', Ron replied thoroughly avoiding Hermione's gaze. Luckily they were by the courtyard and he pretended to be busy watching a pair of owls pecking each other over what seemed to be a dead mouse.
'And what did he do that was so deserving of that?' Hermione asked her hands suddenly crossed.
'Come on guys, lets leave the lovebirds to fight. I really don't want to get in the middle of this', Harry called out to Dean and Seamus slyly grinning at Ron all the while.
"I should have saved that parchment for Harry", Ron thought eyeing his seemingly best friend as he and the two Gryffindor boys climbed the staircase still smiling.
He turned his attention back to Hermione who was eyeing him tensely.
'Hey 'Mione so... where'd you come from?' Ron asked equally apprehensive as if he'd just seen her.
'Ron... if you didn't notice I was at potions', Hermione replied eyeing him suspiciously.
'Yeah course I did... point being?' he said pretending he didn't understand... its so hard being him.
'Fine Ron. Why do you have to be such a... such a git!' and with that she turned around and followed the Gryffindor boys upstairs.
'Mione!' Ron called out, but to no avail.
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Ron's point of view
Well, I've managed to avoid Hermione throughout the remaining days of this week, which was not easy I can tell you. She seemed to pop up everywhere I go. Which was not bad, at least I get to see her even if she is angry with me.
Anyway, it's a Saturday and I've somehow steered clear of her again by going to the Gryffindor quidditch tryouts that our dear 'ol captain had organised. Everything went well I can say and Harry and myself were quite pleased with the results.
It was nearly dusk when we decided to retreat back to the common room and get cleaned up before dinner (me and Harry were in the locker room trying to decided between Benjamin Stirk and Joshua Lambert). We approached the fat lady and gave her the password after much hassle (flubberworm) then stepped down into the warm common room. Ah... how I wanted to just grab my robes head down to the prefect's bathroom and take a long hot bath...
Before I could even head up to the dormitories, I saw Ginny sitting on the couch in front of the fire, comforting someone... someone who seems to be sobbing... Hermione?!
Ginny looked up at us as we walked in. Harry and myself stood motionless, sweat still dripping from our brows, our robes covered with dirt.
'Krum', she mouthed and looked me straight in the eye.
Steadily, I walked over to them.
'Her... Hermione are you alright?' I didn't really know what to say. I mean, I've been ignoring her for the past few days but now that she's in tears I couldn't possibly just leave her... especially if it's that bloody Krum's fault that she is.
Suddenly she looked up at me, I had to retreat a wee bit. Her tears were falling ever so softly down from her deep dark brown eyes. I wanted to wipe them away, but thought better of it. The look she gave me well... convinced me otherwise.
'So, now you ask what's wrong! Why do you care now after what you did and if that wasn't enough avoiding me for a week! Is it because you want to 'prove' you're a good friend, or maybe because this has something to do with Viktor? Come off it Ron, I don't need your sympathy, nor do I want it!' she shouted.
OUCH! Well I guess I deserved that...
Looking around the Gryffindor common room I was relieved to find it quite empty due to it being dinnertime because this scene would be highly embarrassing, not that it mattered. I saw Ginny slowly stand up and gestured for me to go on and talk to Hermione... yeah, like that little outburst didn't discourage me one bit.
'No Ginny, you stay', Hermione cried turning towards Ginny.
Ginny gave her a sort of feeble smile looked at me and widened her eyes as if telling me to try again.
I backed up and shook my head, too scared to say anything... it might prompt Hermione to yell at me... again.
Then, Hermione started sobbing again, both her hands covering her face. Ginny gestured to a wet and crumpled piece of parchment sitting on the centre table. I gazed over at it and suddenly I felt my blood boil. That damn Krum had no right to do this to her...
Dear Hermione,
How are you there at Hogwarts? I hope you are fine.
Well, there is really no easier way to say this so here goes... I do not think our relationship is turning out for the best. We are so far from each other and I feel like I'm being tied down because of it. I had no intention of ending it this way but I had no other choice. You have got to know that I'm doing this for the betterment of both of us. I hope you understand, and hope we can still keep in touch.
Good bye Hermione, remember that I'll always love you.
Yours truly,
Viktor
Swiftly, I directed my gaze back to Hermione who was still sitting on the couch weeping, the hesitant feeling I had before left me in an instant. Standing there looking down at her crying figure, I just wanted to grab her body and hold it forever... or until she stops crying anyway.
I sat down in the vacant seat on the other side of the couch. Outside, the heavens opened in an outburst of rain. Each drop fell heavily upon the tower windows which, (along with the warm fire and the comfy couches) made for a comfortable romantic setting... well, of course I wasn't thinking about that, just happened to cross my mind.
'Hermione...' I started again, slowly moving towards the sobbing figure.
'Ron, please, just... just go. Apart from Viktor you're really the last person I'd like to talk to right now', she sniffed.
Again with the heart breaking words!
I looked to Ginny for support and she nodded.
Standing up she exclaimed, 'Hermione sorry I have to do this but... I just have to... um... Harry said he's starving. Lets go Harry', she added. He ran over to him grabbed hold of his sleeve and pulled him towards the fat lady. Poor Harry, didn't even get to have a say in the whole situation.
Anyway, back to the crisis at hand.
At first there was silence between us, apart from Hermione's sobbing and the pounding rain outside.
'Look Hermione, can you just listen to what I have to say?' I said, finally plucking up the courage to talk to her.
'What makes you think that I'd listen to you?' her voice was soft but she looked at me with tears streaming down her cheeks.
'Because I know you're not really as angry at me as you're fronting', I really had no idea if this was true, but it was the only idea I had.
'And... even if your not going to listen... I just want to say... well... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I did... for... for ignoring you and I'm... I'm sorry for what Krum... for what Krum did...' great! I blurted everything out... might as well have said I loved her and get it over with... like the chance of Snape at a wedding... it'll never happen.
I waited for a reply and when I didn't get any (which was what I had expected anyway) I gradually stood up and headed for the stairs to the dormitory. But before I could even take one step forward she grabbed my hand and whispered 'no, Ron, please... I... I'm sorry... don't... don't leave'.
I was speechless, didn't know what to say really. Girls are so confusing, first they tell you to go away and when you do finally start to leave; they don't want you to go. Really, I wish I hadn't realized Hermione was a girl in fourth year so we didn't need to have this conversation (just kidding, do you think I hadn't realized Hermione was a girl before fourth year?), but who's complaining, she's holding on to my hand right?
I turned back round and came face to face with those dark brown eyes and this big heavy load just lifted off me, then I realized that she just asked me to say! Oh no! This is not a good time for those hormones to act up...
For the first time since the end of last year, she gave me a warm smile, her tears reflecting the fireplace light. She just looked... unexplainable. Again I fought off the urge of kissing her right then and there. What would anybody coming through the portrait hole think of me snogging one of my best friends... not that I cared, but think of the torture!
'Ron, your right...' wait did she just say I was right?!
'Hermione...'
'No Ron, look... this whole Viktor thing just went out of proportion and it's kind of like... like I was taking out my anger on you. You know? I'm sorry'
Oh hell! What am I suppose to say to that?
'It's... alright 'Mione. There's... there's no need to apologise. I guess I deserved some of the things thrown my way, anyways'.
Again, an awkward silence surrounded both of us. I tried to look busy and looked towards the fireplace. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her looking at me. Oh... think up a conversation quick!
'Um... so what did Krum say?' oops wrong question...
She wiped away a stray tear and answered 'he... he broke up with me. Said that he felt our long distance relationship was going nowhere and he was being tied down. I guess that means he found someone else', pause. Then '... Ron... what is wrong with me? I mean... what do guys want in a girl? Am I not intelligent enough? Or maybe I'm just not pretty enough for him...'
'Um...'
She turned to look at me, the expression on her face told me that her heart was slowly breaking into little pieces. Her eyes were downcast and the smile she had before had vanished. I had to mend it somehow... even if it was just temporarily.
As much as it would turn my face beetroot red to say this... I had to. 'Hermione... I may not be an expert at this sort of stuff but just to let you know, there's nothing wrong with you! Although, I'm sure there's something wrong with that git. I mean he dumped you didn't he? He must have been hit with one too many bludgers'
She laughed at this.
'... and... and of course your beautiful... and, and intelligent and I'm sure Krum's now in his hotel room going 'vy did I lif hermioniny'... I know I would... I mean if I had you that is... not that I would want to... oh... not that I won't want to, but the point is...' I let out a deep sigh 'there are plenty more stars out there... just have to wait for the one that can make your dreams come true' Wow! That was a mouthful!
She smiled 'but you know what... I love him... well I thought I did...'
'Hermione, trust me... sometimes love means... having to sacrifice your happiness for the one you love,' yeah... so true. I looked towards the ground to avoid her gaze just in case she catches on.
'That was beautiful Ron. Where did you learn all that stuff? And you said you weren't an expert', she beamed.
She punched me playfully on the stomach and I felt my insides lurch. Her gaze was on me again and she was still smiling, looking up at me through her lashes... wow! Did somebody put a heating charm in the common room or something cause its getting kinda hot in here.
I laughed nervously. The room swirled in a blur of colours, my stomach felt like it was going to withdraw some of the snacks I had earlier on. Maybe I was sick.
'Ron are you alright?' Hermione asked still with that cute grin. She came closer and placed her hand on my forehead. 'You're looking a bit... red'.
If I looked edgy beforehand you should see me now. She was so close I didn't know what to do. I sat on both my hands in order to avoid doing something I'd regret later on...
After scanning the room widely for help, I finally looked towards Hermione again. She still had that smile on her lips, the slowly burning light from the embers of the fireplace dancing like a silhouette on her face. Geez, I wished I had taken that shower in advance.
As she came even closer, I felt a lump form at the back of my throat. This is so not the time... she's vulnerable. I don't want to take advantage of this moment...
'Um... you know what Hermione yeah... I kinda feel sick. Maybe I should see Madam Pomfrey, like now... cause you know, don't really want you to catch on... I mean catch it...' I cried in a high-pitched voice as I shot up from the couch and stood there uncomfortably.
She looked up at me, one eyebrow raised in confusion.
'Ron', she exclaimed.
I backed up towards the portrait hole still looking at her uneasily.
'Um... yeah, Hermione, I'll see you later alright?' I said almost tripping over some stray Transfiguration books scattered on the floor.
'Ron!' I heard her shout as I exited the tower and headed for... I have no idea where.
Well, as you guys can see, I'm not good with confrontations, especially relating to Hermione, mushy stuff or Hermione and mushy stuff. I've kinda realised that I'm continuously running away from my problems... great! Give me a big hairy spider over confronting Hermione with my feelings any day.
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I know Ron isn't really being brave about his whole thing but i'm kinda making way for some dramatics comming up... Oh, next chappie... someone's getting married!
One more note, sorry if there are any mistakes in this chappie, its just been a long day :).
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