HERES the last page! 13 pages worth of the insane finale! Enjoy!
[scene 17: the finale!]
Backstage, Kurt looks down on Sabertooth.
Kurt: Oh Lord, no!
Pyro looks at Dunken.
Dunken: somebody I know is doomed for a wedgie...
Pyro: oh poo
Backstage, Sabertooth moves to the wings.
Todd looks at Dunken, who seethes with repressed rage.
Dunken: make that two people...
Backstage, Kurt moves after Sabertooth in the rafters.
Kurt: It isn't easy to follow a guy all the way up here in this stupid costume!
Wolverine and Evan waddle on stage dressed up as two big tea pots
Logan: why is she torturing me? I thought she hated the porcupine here?
Evan: don't worry you get used to being hated, you get great leftover meals!
Abbie: actually I don't hate you Wolverine, I'm just getting revenge on you for not being the green fairy. When this is over I'll be nicer to you.
Wolverine: meh, green isn't my colour any way.
Onstage, Todd moves downstage and throws Wanda to the ground. Coughing, Wanda lays there.
Wanda: hey! Since when does he get to abuse me?!
Todd: sorry cuddle bu...
Wanda: don't even think about finishing the nick name sentence!!!
Todd addresses Duncan.
Todd: This woman is yours now. I've paid my whore... HEY! I THOUGHT I GET THE GIRL IN THE END!
Dolly: the play ain't finished stupid, this is for dramatic effect.
Todd: oh ummm...I don't think I understand
Abbie: you have to, otherwise the reviewers will be mad at me for spending half the fic explaining what this is about... so if you don't continue I will end it my way by typing THE END and all the readers will come after us all with their torch and pitch folks... is that what you want?!
Todd: nope! Theres no need to explain, understand everything!
Todd throws the money at Wanda's feet. The Audience gasps. Pyro looks shocked.
Warren: I SAY! Thats no way to treat a Lady!
Dolly: it is in this film fic.
Warren: how did you get from the stage to here all of a sudden?
Dolly: ask me no questions and I tell you no lies
Backstage, Sabertooth pauses, watching.
Sabertooth: sinff I wanna join in the play too
Onstage, Todd now addresses Wanda, who looks up at him from the floor.
Todd: I owe you nothing. And you are nothing to me.
Rahne, X23, Rogue, Kitty and Jubilee sits down and watches the show, while taking their break
Kitty: wow, this stuff is so sad.
Rahne: mmm...Popcorn?
Todd: GUYS! We're trying to show our angst and misery to the world and your treating us like a soap Oprea show!
Rogue: welcome to the real cruel world.
Backstage, Kurt looks down on Todd and Wanda from the rafters.
Kurt: GAH! Why am I looking down! whimpers
Onstage, Todd is now fighting back tears, and his voice catches when he speaks.
Todd: Thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with love.
Wanda: anytime... wait a minute! What am I saying?
Todd walks down the stairs and off the stage. Wanda watches him go, crying. Todd pauses in front of Duncan and stares at him for a moment as Duncan sticks his tongue out.
Backstage, Kurt puts his hand to his head.
Kurt: I can't remember my line.
Todd continues down the aisle. Wanda stares after him, crying. Pyro attempts to go on with the show. He moves towards Wanda.
Pyro-as-evil-Maharajah: This sitar player doesn't love you! See, he flees the kingdom!
Pyro kneels down beside Wanda and whispers to her.
Pyro: Pumpkin, it's for the best. You know it is. The show must go on.
Wanda shakes her head.
Wanda: screw the show, I want my Toddles!
Pyro-as-evil-Maharajah: And now, my bride. . .
Pyro pulls Wanda up. Todd is still walking down the aisle, and he hasn't looked back. He takes off the Penniless sitar Player's jacket. Sabertooth turns away, looking sad.
Sabertooth: awww! I wanted to do some killing sniff
Pyro-as-evil-Maharajah:... it is time for you to raise your voice to the heavens and say your wedding vows.
Wanda can barely stand.
Pyro-as-evil-Maharajah: Sing to our gods your...
Backstage, Kurt suddenly steps forward as he remembers his line.
Kurt: I've got it! I've got it! Christian!
Kurt falls from the platform
Kurt: that was stupid...
Kurt is hanging from it by his hands, yells out his line.
Kurt: The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return!!!!!
Wanda looks up, her back to Todd. Todd pauses. The Audience murmurs. Sabertooth looks at Todd, but he doesn't turn around. Wanda comes to a realisation. Slowly, she turns around.
Abbie: now for the best part of the film
Wanda Sings: Never knew I could feel like this...
With great pain, Todd slowly starts to walk forward again out of the theatre. As Wanda sings, her voice grows stronger.
Wanda sings:...It's like I've never seen the sky before. Want to vanish. . .
Todd pauses, in inner turmoil.
Wanda sings:...inside your kiss, Everyday I'm loving you more and more.
wanda walks forward across the stage, as Todd slowly turns around.
Wanda sings: Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing, Come back to me and forgive everything.
Wanda gasps for breath, but recovers.
Wanda: if he doesn't come back, he's either a cold blooded jerk or he's seeing some one else.
Lance cues the orchestra to accompany Wanda.
Lance: SNIFF I miss my hair
Dolly: oh don't be a cry baby, it'll grow back
Wanda sings: Seasons may change, winter to spring...
Duncan is seething with rage.
Duncan: I don't think the line 'urge to kill' will apply to the anger level I'm on now...
Wand sings: I love you, Till the end of time.
A pause.
Todd sings: Come what may...
The Audience turns around in surprise to look at Todd.
Caliban: sssso he'sss ssstill here?
Wanda smiles with relief and happiness.
Todd sings:...Come what may...
Wanda starts walking across the stage towards Todd and Todd begins to walk up the aisle towards Wanda.
Todd sings:...Come what may, Come what may, I will love you...
Wanda sings: I will love you...
Todd sings: ...Until my dying...
Todd and Wanda: ...day!
Todd reaches the stage.
Todd and Wanda sings: Come what may...
Todd and Wanda come together onstage.
Wanda: He came back! YAY!
Todd: the only chance I get to get close to you and I was about to blow it? NEVER!
Duncan signals to Sabertooth.
Todd sings: Come what may...
Wanda sings: Come what may...
Todd and Wanda sings: I will love you. . .
From the wings, Sabertooth points the gun at Todd. Duncan signals to Sabertooth to shoot.
Duncan whispers: shoot... anytime now
Sabertooth: shouts WHAT? You want me to shoot now?!
Duncan: gee, I hope no one notices the signals sarcasm
Todd and Wanda sings: ...until my dying...
Kurt: Christian! He's got a gun!
Kurt falls, grabbing onto a rope and swinging onto the stage.
Kurt: WAH! This is no way to live!!!
Everybody looks over at Kurt. As he falls, Kurt knocks over Sabertooth, sending the gun flying. Kurt and the gun slide across the stage.
Kurt: OWIE! MY TAIL!!
Colossus: have you ever thought about insuring that tail of yours?
The gun comes to rest at the feet of Kitty, who screams and hides behind an elephant statue.
Kitty: Guns are, like, SOOO not cool!
Kurt stands up.
Kurt: They're trying to kill you!
The Audience laughs.
Pyro: Shut up! This play was going angst city until you opened that big mouth of yours.
Kurt: you wanted it to end that way?
Pyro: not really, but we could have won the 'most saddest ending of the year award' for the theatre.
Kurt: vhatever...
Audience continues to laugh at Kurt
Kurt: Look, he's got a gun!
Kurt points at the gun.
Sabertooth: playing innocent Gun? What gun? I see no gun...
Pyro-as-evil-Maharajah: Guards, seize them!
Kurt: He's a madman!
The audience roars with laughter.
Kurt: now I know how that girl in Scary Movie felt when she was on stage....
Colossus runs to the centre of the stage and sets off an explosion.
Colossus: this should be Gambits part, oh well... Vive la vie de boheme!
Chaos ensues as Everyone on stage run around screaming.
Abbie: ahhh... this is my type of world.
Sabertooth tries to grab the gun as X23 tries to stop him by kicking him.
X23: HIIIIYAAAAH!!!
Sabertooth: Stop Kicking me Mini Wolverine...
X23: I've got a feeling that's going to be my new nick name from now on
Sabertooth gets the gun and points it at Todd, but right at that moment, Gambit throws open the doors behind Sabertooth, sending the gun flying again.
Gambit: Gambits BACK ladies!!!
Gambit fans: YAAAAAY!
Sabertooth: why me?
the gun slides across the stage and lands in front of Duncan
Gambit: All right! No problem, go back to work!
Dancers gather in the middle of the stage, behind Wanda and Todd. Kurt turns towards the audience.
Kurt: now its my turn to shine blue...
Mystique: with tears of happiness in her eyes make me proud son!
Kurt sings: No matter what you say...
Chorus: Na-na, na-na
Kurt sings:...The show is ending our way!
Roberto under the stage
Roberto: but not mine! sobs
Colossus hits Sabertooth with a sitar.
Colossus: and that's for getting fleas in my bed!
Lance runs on stage with a wig that looked like his original hair style
Pyro sings: The show must go on!
Sabertooth gets up and moves towards the gun.
Abbie: Come on readers! Sing with us!
Dolly: YEAH!
Everyone, Readers, Abbie Dolly: Come on and stand your ground For freedom, beauty. . .
Duncan catches Sabertooth's eye and points towards the gun.
Everyone, Readers, Abbie Dolly:...truth, and love!
Offstage, Sabertooth has the gun in sight. Rogue sees and moves offstage.
Wanda sings: I'll fly away!
Jamie and copies sing: You can't fool the children of the revolution...
Wanda sings: I'll fly away!
Everyone sings: No, you can't fool the children of the revolution...
Todd sings: My gift is my song!
Sabertooth is now among the Orchestra, shaking a tambourine as he tries to get to the gun. Duncan frantically gestures to him.
Duncan: GO FETCH!
Sabertooth: you know, I am THIS close to quitting and joining them lot on the stage.
Everyone sings: No, you won't fool the children of the revolution...
Wanda sings: I'll fly away!
Abbie, Readers and Dolly sings: No, you can't fool the children of the revolution!
Todd sings: My gift is my song!
As Sabertooth reaches for the gun, Rogue, above the stage now, raises a sandbag over her head. As Sabertooth gets ready to shoot, she drops the sandbag on his head.
Sabertooth: THATS IT! I quit! blacks out
The gun fires into the air, and a cloud of dust billows up. The gun flies though the air as Duncan stands up, an expression of pure rage on his face.
Duncan: only one thing can describe how I'm feeling: GRRR!
Onstage, Todd and Wanda face each other, holding hands.
Todd and Wanda sings: I will love you...
Duncan stands and walks up the aisle.
Everyone, Abbie and Dolly: Come what may...
Todd and Wanda sings: Yes, I will love you...
The gun lands and slides down the aisle towards Duncan. The dancers lift Todd and Wanda in the air.
Jamie and copies sings: Come what may...
Duncan turns and looks at the gun.
Todd and Wanda sings: I will love you...
Duncan picks up the gun, and runs down the aisle with it, pointing at Todd.
Abbie: okay folks, just to let you know, guns are not cool... maybe in the film Men In Black but in reality they ain't so we are using a water pistol.
Duncan: so... I can't really kill him.
Abbie: I suppose you could but aiming for his nose, he could possibly drown. But if you kill Todd you'll have to face me and the angry mob.
Duncan: ah your bluffing
Abbie: evil face we will see who is joking...
Onstage, the dancers circle with Todd and Wanda, who are holding hands.
Todd and Wanda sings:...until my...
Duncan: My way! My way! My way! OR THE HIGH WAY!
Abbie: I love that song!
Dolly: Abbie shut up!!!
As Duncan reaches the stage, Pyro punches him, knocking Duncan backwards onto the floor, and sending the gun flying out the window, through the sky, and hitting the Eiffel Tower with a clang.
Eiffel tower: OWCH!
Todd and Wanda sings: ...dying day!
As the song ends, Todd and Wanda embrace in the middle of the stage, surrounded by everyone on stage. The curtain falls. Duncan looks up, defeated. The Audience bursts into applause.
Cybelle: HURRAH! HURRAH!
Lucid: jolly good show!
Backstage, hundreds of red and white petals fall from the ceiling. Everyone look at each other in triumph.
Kitty: you know, even though it felt like torture, it was kinda, like, fun.
Danielle: I agree
X23: I think your mad, but then again so is everybody else
Rogue: I got to hurt somebody
Ray: I got the courage to ask X23 to go out with me
X23: and I got the answer for you too
Ray: REALLY!
X23: yes. And its NO!
Ray: ah well there always Amara
Amara: leave me alone
The Audience continues cheering, throwing their hats into the air. Duncan remains fallen on the floor.
Duncan: well... this sucks
Backstage, Pietro gathers everyone together.
Pietro: I can't believe we actually pulled through! Stand by for curtain call! Dancers, positions please.
Wanda and Todd kiss.
Everyone: AWWWW
Tonda fans: YAAAAAY! waves ToddWanda flags
from under the Moulin Rouge
Roberto: booo!
Todd leads Wanda by the hand.
Todd: oh yeah! I get the girl in the end its a very good day to be Todd.
Wanda starts to fall backward as a red petal falls on her face.
Wanda: UGH! Will some body stop throwing petals at my face while I'm dying please?!
cuts to Todd writing the story. He sits on the bed and looks through the pages.
Todd: AH! My hands ach from all this typing... must... continue...
Back to the Moulin Rouge. Wanda continues to fall backward. Todd turns back to her. Wanda starts gasping for breath.
Todd: oh crud! Satine! Satine, what's the matter?
Todd catches Wanda as she falls, coughing and gasping. Kurt and Pyro look over.
Todd: Are you all right? Darling, darling what's the matter?
Wanda can't get the breath to answer.
Todd: Darling, Satine, what's the matter? God. Oh, God.
Abbie: okay folks, this is the part where it gets very sad and depressing cause it made me cry.
Todd: Part? What sad part? Don't we get married and live in a big house living off the money from the show?
Kitty: aw, he was going to propose... that is like so SWEET!
Wanda's coughing intensifies. Some blood trickles out of the corner of her mouth. Todd puts his fingers to it in horror. He looks at Wanda, who is now barely conscious.
Todd: Somebody get some help!
Pyro turns to Pietro.
Pyro: Hold the curtain! Fetch the doctor! We can't let her die! Not until we get the people from Holly wood to make this in to a movie.
Wanda: I'm sorry Christian.
Pietro rushes off. Pyro, Kurt and Storm, and everyone else look grimly towards Wanda.
Wanda: I, I—I—I'm dying. I'm so sorry.
Todd: You'll be all right. You'll be all right. You'll be all right. Cause if you ain't all right then I'm going to kill Abbie
Abbie: oh sure blame ME, I didn't even write the script.
Wanda: Cold. I'm co—cold. Hold me. Hold me. sniffs do I really have to die? Can't it be Duncan?
Duncan: I heard that!
Todd presses Wanda to him. He starts to cry.
Todd: You're okay. I love you.
Wanda: You've got to go on, Christian.
Todd: Can't go on without you, though.
Wanda: You've got so much to give. Tell—tell our story, Christian.
Todd: No.
Wanda: Yes. Promise me. Promise me. Yes. Yes. That way I'll—I'll always be with you.
Colossus, Rogue and Gambit starts wailing loudly
Gambit: this is so sad WAHHH!
Colossus: curse the person who thought this ending was coolies!
Rogue: this is so unfair... do you have a tissue?
Wanda: uh... HELLO! I'm trying to die with a dramatic effect and you guys are ruining it!
Colossus, Gambit and Rogue: sorry
Wanda: good okay um... pretends to dies slowly then pretends to be dead
Todd looks at her blank eyes and starts crying harder
Pyro: well, so much for it being a good day to be Todd.
Kurt: Pyro, nows not the good time to say what you think.
Goes back to Todd writing the story. He is sitting on the bed, looking over the pages with tears in his eyes. He leans his head back and closes his eyes.
Backstage, everyone looks on as Todd holds Wanda, sobbing.
Todd: no... NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Why!? WHY GOD!? WHHHHHHHHYYY!!!???
Bobby: actually it should be 'WHY!? WHY SCRIPT WRITER! WHHHHYY!'
Scott: shut up Bobby
Bobby: but...
Pyro: If I can't say what I think, neither can you!
Pyro puts hand over Bobby's mouth as Bobby starts squirming
Bobby: MMhh! MEETH MOFF MEH!!!
As the Audience silently applauds, Duncan turns and leaves the Moulin Rouge.
Duncan: wait? Don't I own the deeds to the Moulin Rouge? Oh well... off to the Pub with me.
Backstage, Todd cries out as he sobs, pulling Wanda closer to him and sinking to the floor. The camera rises above Todd and Wanda, surrounded by the cast, with Pyro at the head of the circle, still covering Bobbys mouth. rises past as the sound of the audience applauding comes in.
Warren: WOWIE! Um I mean... Bravo! Bravo!
Scaleface: cool! I wanna get Satines autograph!
Callisto: Me too!
Caliban: me three!
the applause rises out through the roof of the Moulin Rouge as the sound of the applause fades; out across the garden, through the falling snow, where Duncan walks away alone and over towards the windmill where Kurt stands on the roof, dressed in his magical sitar costume.
Kurt: here I go again... sings There was a boy, A very strange enchanted boy...
As the windmill sweeps past, seasons change from winter to spring. Push towards Todd's garret, where Todd is visible through the window, typing. On the balcony is Wanda's bird, torpid dressed as a bird, in its cage.
Torpid: and SOMEBODY forgot to feed me... and no more birds seeds!
Todd: aren't you meant to tweat instead?
Torpid: SIGHS Fine! Tweet Tweet Tweaten Tweet now feed me Seymour!
Dolly: wrong musical bird brain!
Torpid: NO BIRD PUNS! TWEAT!
Todd typing: Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and then, one not so very special day, I went to my typewriter...
Push in through the window, and slowly track around Todd as he types.
Todd: wait a moe... didn't I sell my type writer?
Abbie: no you didn't, you sold that cat, now get on with it! We're almost done!
Todd: ...I sat down, and I wrote our story. A story about a time, a story about a place, a story about the people, but above all things...
Close up on the words as they are typed on the paper.
Todd: ...a story about love. A love that will live forever. The end.
Push in on the words 'The end' until they fill the screen, and hold. Slowly pull back as the red velvet curtain closes to reveal Lance conducting the orchestra.
Lance: And yeah, no worries, my hair grew back!
Todd: The greatest thing you'll ever learn Is just to love and be loved in return.
Fade to black, except for a spotlight on Lance conducting, which slowly fades too.
Abbie: ITS OVER FOLKS!
Todd: YOU SAID I'D GET THE GIRL! YOU LIED YOU LIAR!
Wanda: I died! How could I've died? I should have lived not died!
Kurt: at the begging you cut out my song! I don't care that you remembered it at the end the point is you forgot about it at the beginning!
X23: you made up the nick name 'Mini Wolverine' for me! And now you must die!
Duncan: I got a cold because of walking in d'uh snow
Logan: I can't get out of this teapot outfit! I'm panicking! I don't want to be a teapot! And I can't rip out cause my arms ar suck in the sleeves and I can't bend my arms!
Torpid: I CAN'T GET OUT MY COSTUME EITHER!!! begins to cry I DON'T WANNA BE A BIRD!
Spike: I'm a little teapot short and stout...
Dolly: well I hope your happy Abbie cause you've made a very insane parody that has probably traumatised everybody and caused loads of problems for you!
Abbie: Yeah but it was funny wasn't it?
Dolly:... I'm going to pretend you didn't say that and try to sort the problems out...
Abbie: okie dokie... oh Professor X!
Professor: yes...
Abbie: You've won a prize!
Professor: OH! REALLY! What did I win?
Abbie: You've won a day to experience a life of me. Starting now!
Abbie puts a wig on the professors head that looks like Abbies hair style, then put up a sign saying 'this is Abbie Soler Star and runs away as a crowd appears
Professor: oh fiddle sticks...
Its finished!
Dolly: that was cruel
yeah but it was funny too, ne?
Dolly: Abbie.... Your an idiot
I am what I am so shut up all ready!
Kurt: does this mean we get another vacation?
Don't get your hope up
Wanda: I think that mean yes
?
Dolly: why are you looking confused?
Gah! Forget it! The important thing is I did this story cause...
Wanda: please don't say it!
Kurt and Dolly run for cover
I...
Wanda: no! starts rocking back and forth
CAN CAN CAN! MUHAHAHAHAHA!
Wanda screams and bursts in to tears
Kurt: your evil
I know but I think its funny
Dolly: she ain't evil. Compare Abbie's insanity to evil makes evil look like a puppy
... shut up Dolly.
turns to Readers
please review by pressing the lil button... THANKS FOR BEING HERE FOLKS!!
[scene 17: the finale!]
Backstage, Kurt looks down on Sabertooth.
Kurt: Oh Lord, no!
Pyro looks at Dunken.
Dunken: somebody I know is doomed for a wedgie...
Pyro: oh poo
Backstage, Sabertooth moves to the wings.
Todd looks at Dunken, who seethes with repressed rage.
Dunken: make that two people...
Backstage, Kurt moves after Sabertooth in the rafters.
Kurt: It isn't easy to follow a guy all the way up here in this stupid costume!
Wolverine and Evan waddle on stage dressed up as two big tea pots
Logan: why is she torturing me? I thought she hated the porcupine here?
Evan: don't worry you get used to being hated, you get great leftover meals!
Abbie: actually I don't hate you Wolverine, I'm just getting revenge on you for not being the green fairy. When this is over I'll be nicer to you.
Wolverine: meh, green isn't my colour any way.
Onstage, Todd moves downstage and throws Wanda to the ground. Coughing, Wanda lays there.
Wanda: hey! Since when does he get to abuse me?!
Todd: sorry cuddle bu...
Wanda: don't even think about finishing the nick name sentence!!!
Todd addresses Duncan.
Todd: This woman is yours now. I've paid my whore... HEY! I THOUGHT I GET THE GIRL IN THE END!
Dolly: the play ain't finished stupid, this is for dramatic effect.
Todd: oh ummm...I don't think I understand
Abbie: you have to, otherwise the reviewers will be mad at me for spending half the fic explaining what this is about... so if you don't continue I will end it my way by typing THE END and all the readers will come after us all with their torch and pitch folks... is that what you want?!
Todd: nope! Theres no need to explain, understand everything!
Todd throws the money at Wanda's feet. The Audience gasps. Pyro looks shocked.
Warren: I SAY! Thats no way to treat a Lady!
Dolly: it is in this film fic.
Warren: how did you get from the stage to here all of a sudden?
Dolly: ask me no questions and I tell you no lies
Backstage, Sabertooth pauses, watching.
Sabertooth: sinff I wanna join in the play too
Onstage, Todd now addresses Wanda, who looks up at him from the floor.
Todd: I owe you nothing. And you are nothing to me.
Rahne, X23, Rogue, Kitty and Jubilee sits down and watches the show, while taking their break
Kitty: wow, this stuff is so sad.
Rahne: mmm...Popcorn?
Todd: GUYS! We're trying to show our angst and misery to the world and your treating us like a soap Oprea show!
Rogue: welcome to the real cruel world.
Backstage, Kurt looks down on Todd and Wanda from the rafters.
Kurt: GAH! Why am I looking down! whimpers
Onstage, Todd is now fighting back tears, and his voice catches when he speaks.
Todd: Thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with love.
Wanda: anytime... wait a minute! What am I saying?
Todd walks down the stairs and off the stage. Wanda watches him go, crying. Todd pauses in front of Duncan and stares at him for a moment as Duncan sticks his tongue out.
Backstage, Kurt puts his hand to his head.
Kurt: I can't remember my line.
Todd continues down the aisle. Wanda stares after him, crying. Pyro attempts to go on with the show. He moves towards Wanda.
Pyro-as-evil-Maharajah: This sitar player doesn't love you! See, he flees the kingdom!
Pyro kneels down beside Wanda and whispers to her.
Pyro: Pumpkin, it's for the best. You know it is. The show must go on.
Wanda shakes her head.
Wanda: screw the show, I want my Toddles!
Pyro-as-evil-Maharajah: And now, my bride. . .
Pyro pulls Wanda up. Todd is still walking down the aisle, and he hasn't looked back. He takes off the Penniless sitar Player's jacket. Sabertooth turns away, looking sad.
Sabertooth: awww! I wanted to do some killing sniff
Pyro-as-evil-Maharajah:... it is time for you to raise your voice to the heavens and say your wedding vows.
Wanda can barely stand.
Pyro-as-evil-Maharajah: Sing to our gods your...
Backstage, Kurt suddenly steps forward as he remembers his line.
Kurt: I've got it! I've got it! Christian!
Kurt falls from the platform
Kurt: that was stupid...
Kurt is hanging from it by his hands, yells out his line.
Kurt: The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return!!!!!
Wanda looks up, her back to Todd. Todd pauses. The Audience murmurs. Sabertooth looks at Todd, but he doesn't turn around. Wanda comes to a realisation. Slowly, she turns around.
Abbie: now for the best part of the film
Wanda Sings: Never knew I could feel like this...
With great pain, Todd slowly starts to walk forward again out of the theatre. As Wanda sings, her voice grows stronger.
Wanda sings:...It's like I've never seen the sky before. Want to vanish. . .
Todd pauses, in inner turmoil.
Wanda sings:...inside your kiss, Everyday I'm loving you more and more.
wanda walks forward across the stage, as Todd slowly turns around.
Wanda sings: Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing, Come back to me and forgive everything.
Wanda gasps for breath, but recovers.
Wanda: if he doesn't come back, he's either a cold blooded jerk or he's seeing some one else.
Lance cues the orchestra to accompany Wanda.
Lance: SNIFF I miss my hair
Dolly: oh don't be a cry baby, it'll grow back
Wanda sings: Seasons may change, winter to spring...
Duncan is seething with rage.
Duncan: I don't think the line 'urge to kill' will apply to the anger level I'm on now...
Wand sings: I love you, Till the end of time.
A pause.
Todd sings: Come what may...
The Audience turns around in surprise to look at Todd.
Caliban: sssso he'sss ssstill here?
Wanda smiles with relief and happiness.
Todd sings:...Come what may...
Wanda starts walking across the stage towards Todd and Todd begins to walk up the aisle towards Wanda.
Todd sings:...Come what may, Come what may, I will love you...
Wanda sings: I will love you...
Todd sings: ...Until my dying...
Todd and Wanda: ...day!
Todd reaches the stage.
Todd and Wanda sings: Come what may...
Todd and Wanda come together onstage.
Wanda: He came back! YAY!
Todd: the only chance I get to get close to you and I was about to blow it? NEVER!
Duncan signals to Sabertooth.
Todd sings: Come what may...
Wanda sings: Come what may...
Todd and Wanda sings: I will love you. . .
From the wings, Sabertooth points the gun at Todd. Duncan signals to Sabertooth to shoot.
Duncan whispers: shoot... anytime now
Sabertooth: shouts WHAT? You want me to shoot now?!
Duncan: gee, I hope no one notices the signals sarcasm
Todd and Wanda sings: ...until my dying...
Kurt: Christian! He's got a gun!
Kurt falls, grabbing onto a rope and swinging onto the stage.
Kurt: WAH! This is no way to live!!!
Everybody looks over at Kurt. As he falls, Kurt knocks over Sabertooth, sending the gun flying. Kurt and the gun slide across the stage.
Kurt: OWIE! MY TAIL!!
Colossus: have you ever thought about insuring that tail of yours?
The gun comes to rest at the feet of Kitty, who screams and hides behind an elephant statue.
Kitty: Guns are, like, SOOO not cool!
Kurt stands up.
Kurt: They're trying to kill you!
The Audience laughs.
Pyro: Shut up! This play was going angst city until you opened that big mouth of yours.
Kurt: you wanted it to end that way?
Pyro: not really, but we could have won the 'most saddest ending of the year award' for the theatre.
Kurt: vhatever...
Audience continues to laugh at Kurt
Kurt: Look, he's got a gun!
Kurt points at the gun.
Sabertooth: playing innocent Gun? What gun? I see no gun...
Pyro-as-evil-Maharajah: Guards, seize them!
Kurt: He's a madman!
The audience roars with laughter.
Kurt: now I know how that girl in Scary Movie felt when she was on stage....
Colossus runs to the centre of the stage and sets off an explosion.
Colossus: this should be Gambits part, oh well... Vive la vie de boheme!
Chaos ensues as Everyone on stage run around screaming.
Abbie: ahhh... this is my type of world.
Sabertooth tries to grab the gun as X23 tries to stop him by kicking him.
X23: HIIIIYAAAAH!!!
Sabertooth: Stop Kicking me Mini Wolverine...
X23: I've got a feeling that's going to be my new nick name from now on
Sabertooth gets the gun and points it at Todd, but right at that moment, Gambit throws open the doors behind Sabertooth, sending the gun flying again.
Gambit: Gambits BACK ladies!!!
Gambit fans: YAAAAAY!
Sabertooth: why me?
the gun slides across the stage and lands in front of Duncan
Gambit: All right! No problem, go back to work!
Dancers gather in the middle of the stage, behind Wanda and Todd. Kurt turns towards the audience.
Kurt: now its my turn to shine blue...
Mystique: with tears of happiness in her eyes make me proud son!
Kurt sings: No matter what you say...
Chorus: Na-na, na-na
Kurt sings:...The show is ending our way!
Roberto under the stage
Roberto: but not mine! sobs
Colossus hits Sabertooth with a sitar.
Colossus: and that's for getting fleas in my bed!
Lance runs on stage with a wig that looked like his original hair style
Pyro sings: The show must go on!
Sabertooth gets up and moves towards the gun.
Abbie: Come on readers! Sing with us!
Dolly: YEAH!
Everyone, Readers, Abbie Dolly: Come on and stand your ground For freedom, beauty. . .
Duncan catches Sabertooth's eye and points towards the gun.
Everyone, Readers, Abbie Dolly:...truth, and love!
Offstage, Sabertooth has the gun in sight. Rogue sees and moves offstage.
Wanda sings: I'll fly away!
Jamie and copies sing: You can't fool the children of the revolution...
Wanda sings: I'll fly away!
Everyone sings: No, you can't fool the children of the revolution...
Todd sings: My gift is my song!
Sabertooth is now among the Orchestra, shaking a tambourine as he tries to get to the gun. Duncan frantically gestures to him.
Duncan: GO FETCH!
Sabertooth: you know, I am THIS close to quitting and joining them lot on the stage.
Everyone sings: No, you won't fool the children of the revolution...
Wanda sings: I'll fly away!
Abbie, Readers and Dolly sings: No, you can't fool the children of the revolution!
Todd sings: My gift is my song!
As Sabertooth reaches for the gun, Rogue, above the stage now, raises a sandbag over her head. As Sabertooth gets ready to shoot, she drops the sandbag on his head.
Sabertooth: THATS IT! I quit! blacks out
The gun fires into the air, and a cloud of dust billows up. The gun flies though the air as Duncan stands up, an expression of pure rage on his face.
Duncan: only one thing can describe how I'm feeling: GRRR!
Onstage, Todd and Wanda face each other, holding hands.
Todd and Wanda sings: I will love you...
Duncan stands and walks up the aisle.
Everyone, Abbie and Dolly: Come what may...
Todd and Wanda sings: Yes, I will love you...
The gun lands and slides down the aisle towards Duncan. The dancers lift Todd and Wanda in the air.
Jamie and copies sings: Come what may...
Duncan turns and looks at the gun.
Todd and Wanda sings: I will love you...
Duncan picks up the gun, and runs down the aisle with it, pointing at Todd.
Abbie: okay folks, just to let you know, guns are not cool... maybe in the film Men In Black but in reality they ain't so we are using a water pistol.
Duncan: so... I can't really kill him.
Abbie: I suppose you could but aiming for his nose, he could possibly drown. But if you kill Todd you'll have to face me and the angry mob.
Duncan: ah your bluffing
Abbie: evil face we will see who is joking...
Onstage, the dancers circle with Todd and Wanda, who are holding hands.
Todd and Wanda sings:...until my...
Duncan: My way! My way! My way! OR THE HIGH WAY!
Abbie: I love that song!
Dolly: Abbie shut up!!!
As Duncan reaches the stage, Pyro punches him, knocking Duncan backwards onto the floor, and sending the gun flying out the window, through the sky, and hitting the Eiffel Tower with a clang.
Eiffel tower: OWCH!
Todd and Wanda sings: ...dying day!
As the song ends, Todd and Wanda embrace in the middle of the stage, surrounded by everyone on stage. The curtain falls. Duncan looks up, defeated. The Audience bursts into applause.
Cybelle: HURRAH! HURRAH!
Lucid: jolly good show!
Backstage, hundreds of red and white petals fall from the ceiling. Everyone look at each other in triumph.
Kitty: you know, even though it felt like torture, it was kinda, like, fun.
Danielle: I agree
X23: I think your mad, but then again so is everybody else
Rogue: I got to hurt somebody
Ray: I got the courage to ask X23 to go out with me
X23: and I got the answer for you too
Ray: REALLY!
X23: yes. And its NO!
Ray: ah well there always Amara
Amara: leave me alone
The Audience continues cheering, throwing their hats into the air. Duncan remains fallen on the floor.
Duncan: well... this sucks
Backstage, Pietro gathers everyone together.
Pietro: I can't believe we actually pulled through! Stand by for curtain call! Dancers, positions please.
Wanda and Todd kiss.
Everyone: AWWWW
Tonda fans: YAAAAAY! waves ToddWanda flags
from under the Moulin Rouge
Roberto: booo!
Todd leads Wanda by the hand.
Todd: oh yeah! I get the girl in the end its a very good day to be Todd.
Wanda starts to fall backward as a red petal falls on her face.
Wanda: UGH! Will some body stop throwing petals at my face while I'm dying please?!
cuts to Todd writing the story. He sits on the bed and looks through the pages.
Todd: AH! My hands ach from all this typing... must... continue...
Back to the Moulin Rouge. Wanda continues to fall backward. Todd turns back to her. Wanda starts gasping for breath.
Todd: oh crud! Satine! Satine, what's the matter?
Todd catches Wanda as she falls, coughing and gasping. Kurt and Pyro look over.
Todd: Are you all right? Darling, darling what's the matter?
Wanda can't get the breath to answer.
Todd: Darling, Satine, what's the matter? God. Oh, God.
Abbie: okay folks, this is the part where it gets very sad and depressing cause it made me cry.
Todd: Part? What sad part? Don't we get married and live in a big house living off the money from the show?
Kitty: aw, he was going to propose... that is like so SWEET!
Wanda's coughing intensifies. Some blood trickles out of the corner of her mouth. Todd puts his fingers to it in horror. He looks at Wanda, who is now barely conscious.
Todd: Somebody get some help!
Pyro turns to Pietro.
Pyro: Hold the curtain! Fetch the doctor! We can't let her die! Not until we get the people from Holly wood to make this in to a movie.
Wanda: I'm sorry Christian.
Pietro rushes off. Pyro, Kurt and Storm, and everyone else look grimly towards Wanda.
Wanda: I, I—I—I'm dying. I'm so sorry.
Todd: You'll be all right. You'll be all right. You'll be all right. Cause if you ain't all right then I'm going to kill Abbie
Abbie: oh sure blame ME, I didn't even write the script.
Wanda: Cold. I'm co—cold. Hold me. Hold me. sniffs do I really have to die? Can't it be Duncan?
Duncan: I heard that!
Todd presses Wanda to him. He starts to cry.
Todd: You're okay. I love you.
Wanda: You've got to go on, Christian.
Todd: Can't go on without you, though.
Wanda: You've got so much to give. Tell—tell our story, Christian.
Todd: No.
Wanda: Yes. Promise me. Promise me. Yes. Yes. That way I'll—I'll always be with you.
Colossus, Rogue and Gambit starts wailing loudly
Gambit: this is so sad WAHHH!
Colossus: curse the person who thought this ending was coolies!
Rogue: this is so unfair... do you have a tissue?
Wanda: uh... HELLO! I'm trying to die with a dramatic effect and you guys are ruining it!
Colossus, Gambit and Rogue: sorry
Wanda: good okay um... pretends to dies slowly then pretends to be dead
Todd looks at her blank eyes and starts crying harder
Pyro: well, so much for it being a good day to be Todd.
Kurt: Pyro, nows not the good time to say what you think.
Goes back to Todd writing the story. He is sitting on the bed, looking over the pages with tears in his eyes. He leans his head back and closes his eyes.
Backstage, everyone looks on as Todd holds Wanda, sobbing.
Todd: no... NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Why!? WHY GOD!? WHHHHHHHHYYY!!!???
Bobby: actually it should be 'WHY!? WHY SCRIPT WRITER! WHHHHYY!'
Scott: shut up Bobby
Bobby: but...
Pyro: If I can't say what I think, neither can you!
Pyro puts hand over Bobby's mouth as Bobby starts squirming
Bobby: MMhh! MEETH MOFF MEH!!!
As the Audience silently applauds, Duncan turns and leaves the Moulin Rouge.
Duncan: wait? Don't I own the deeds to the Moulin Rouge? Oh well... off to the Pub with me.
Backstage, Todd cries out as he sobs, pulling Wanda closer to him and sinking to the floor. The camera rises above Todd and Wanda, surrounded by the cast, with Pyro at the head of the circle, still covering Bobbys mouth. rises past as the sound of the audience applauding comes in.
Warren: WOWIE! Um I mean... Bravo! Bravo!
Scaleface: cool! I wanna get Satines autograph!
Callisto: Me too!
Caliban: me three!
the applause rises out through the roof of the Moulin Rouge as the sound of the applause fades; out across the garden, through the falling snow, where Duncan walks away alone and over towards the windmill where Kurt stands on the roof, dressed in his magical sitar costume.
Kurt: here I go again... sings There was a boy, A very strange enchanted boy...
As the windmill sweeps past, seasons change from winter to spring. Push towards Todd's garret, where Todd is visible through the window, typing. On the balcony is Wanda's bird, torpid dressed as a bird, in its cage.
Torpid: and SOMEBODY forgot to feed me... and no more birds seeds!
Todd: aren't you meant to tweat instead?
Torpid: SIGHS Fine! Tweet Tweet Tweaten Tweet now feed me Seymour!
Dolly: wrong musical bird brain!
Torpid: NO BIRD PUNS! TWEAT!
Todd typing: Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and then, one not so very special day, I went to my typewriter...
Push in through the window, and slowly track around Todd as he types.
Todd: wait a moe... didn't I sell my type writer?
Abbie: no you didn't, you sold that cat, now get on with it! We're almost done!
Todd: ...I sat down, and I wrote our story. A story about a time, a story about a place, a story about the people, but above all things...
Close up on the words as they are typed on the paper.
Todd: ...a story about love. A love that will live forever. The end.
Push in on the words 'The end' until they fill the screen, and hold. Slowly pull back as the red velvet curtain closes to reveal Lance conducting the orchestra.
Lance: And yeah, no worries, my hair grew back!
Todd: The greatest thing you'll ever learn Is just to love and be loved in return.
Fade to black, except for a spotlight on Lance conducting, which slowly fades too.
Abbie: ITS OVER FOLKS!
Todd: YOU SAID I'D GET THE GIRL! YOU LIED YOU LIAR!
Wanda: I died! How could I've died? I should have lived not died!
Kurt: at the begging you cut out my song! I don't care that you remembered it at the end the point is you forgot about it at the beginning!
X23: you made up the nick name 'Mini Wolverine' for me! And now you must die!
Duncan: I got a cold because of walking in d'uh snow
Logan: I can't get out of this teapot outfit! I'm panicking! I don't want to be a teapot! And I can't rip out cause my arms ar suck in the sleeves and I can't bend my arms!
Torpid: I CAN'T GET OUT MY COSTUME EITHER!!! begins to cry I DON'T WANNA BE A BIRD!
Spike: I'm a little teapot short and stout...
Dolly: well I hope your happy Abbie cause you've made a very insane parody that has probably traumatised everybody and caused loads of problems for you!
Abbie: Yeah but it was funny wasn't it?
Dolly:... I'm going to pretend you didn't say that and try to sort the problems out...
Abbie: okie dokie... oh Professor X!
Professor: yes...
Abbie: You've won a prize!
Professor: OH! REALLY! What did I win?
Abbie: You've won a day to experience a life of me. Starting now!
Abbie puts a wig on the professors head that looks like Abbies hair style, then put up a sign saying 'this is Abbie Soler Star and runs away as a crowd appears
Professor: oh fiddle sticks...
Its finished!
Dolly: that was cruel
yeah but it was funny too, ne?
Dolly: Abbie.... Your an idiot
I am what I am so shut up all ready!
Kurt: does this mean we get another vacation?
Don't get your hope up
Wanda: I think that mean yes
?
Dolly: why are you looking confused?
Gah! Forget it! The important thing is I did this story cause...
Wanda: please don't say it!
Kurt and Dolly run for cover
I...
Wanda: no! starts rocking back and forth
CAN CAN CAN! MUHAHAHAHAHA!
Wanda screams and bursts in to tears
Kurt: your evil
I know but I think its funny
Dolly: she ain't evil. Compare Abbie's insanity to evil makes evil look like a puppy
... shut up Dolly.
turns to Readers
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