Chapter 2: Discussions
Hermione's POV:
Hermione would have liked to be the bigger person, and not ruin Malfoy's reputation, but he had really gone too far. He'd dressed her like a slut!
"I can't believe Ron and Harry! Those two morons didn't bloody notice it wasn't me!" she muttered sulkily, spraying poor Myrtle with Malfoy's piss for the second time that day. "I hate this bloody thing!" This time she was screaming. Hermione didn't understand how guys were able to handle such an impractical instrument, although....no. She would never let herself admit (even in her mind) that she rather enjoyed being able to stare freely at Malfoy (as long as there was a mirror nearby).
"Handle an instrument? That sounded wrong even in my head. Myrtle, where are you, I'm sick of bloody talking to myself!"
The ghost floated over, sniffling constantly.
"You sniffle expect poor sniff Myrtle to keep you company when sniff sniffle you have no business even sniffle being in here! What's a boy sniff even doing here? Haven't you sob got anything sob sob better to do than bother poor, pathetic, defenseless little Myrtle!" She began to moan, once more proving "Moaning Myrtle" a very fitting name.
"Myrtle don't be so thick!"
"Besides, how can you sniffle sob mock me when you can't even use your dick?" Myrtle perked up once she'd gotten a good insult out there. Her sobs started to turn into giggles. Needless to say, Hermione was furious.
"Myrtle its me! Hermione!" This just added more fuel to the fire. Myrtle fell through the sink laughing. After about five minutes she came back to taunt Hermione some more.
"Ooh, really? You're supposed to be the clever one! This is worse than the time you turned yourself into a cat! At least then you stayed the same gender!" Myrtle flew off cackling. "Wait till I tell Peeves!"
"MYRTLE COME BACK HERE, YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT TELL PEEVES!" Hermione, in a burst of inspiration threatened to tell Harry about Myrtle's obsessive crush on him if she dared breathe one word to anyone.
"He already knows," Myrtle said, pouting.
"Ah, but he doesn't know about the erotica you've been writing about the two of you." Hermione grinned triumphantly, holding up a damp notebook with "Myrtle's Diary, Keep Out!" scrawled on it.
"I'll bet you got off on it. Fine, I won't tell. Its perfectly miserable having to keep secrets!"
"That's right up your alley, isn't it? Well I've got to get to the library." If Malfoy was going to give Hermione a bad girl image, then she was going to make him the biggest nerd Hogwarts had ever seen.
Draco's POV:
Draco thought he'd been lucky when he found Granger's class list, of course he hadn't counted on Arithmancy being the most boring class in history. Rather than pay attention, he started making a list of how to ruin Granger's life (apart from completely sabotaging her good girl reputation).
1) Constantly bring up Weasley's economic status
Draco was proud of that one. It could potentially ruin Granger's friendship with both Weasley and his sister, as well as making the annoying red heads feel extremely self conscious.
He paused from making his list for a second, glancing at Granger's reflection in a compact he had taken from her makeup bag (he had been shocked to find that Granger actually owned beauty products). For the second time that day, Draco found himself thinking her rather sexy.
"Hmm, you know..." he said to himself, then added a second thing to his list.
2) Go around saying "Malfoy is sexy"
That one would get the Gryffindors riled up. He suspected that he was number two on their hate list, right under Snape. Draco shuddered, making a mental note never to think of himself "under" Snape ever again.
"Hermione, are you okay?" asked Ginny Weasley. What was she doing in the class? Wasn't it a sixth year course?
"Er...yeah, why? Of course I'm okay!"
"You aren't paying attention and this is your favourite class, plus I caught you talking to yourself, and you shuddered just a second ago."
"Oh, PMS."
"Oh, of course. It can make anyone act weird. You'd think we'd have come up with a magical cure for it by now!" Ginny whispered, earning a glare from the Professor. "Sorry Professor," said Ginny sheepishly, and the class went on. Draco breathed a sigh of relief. Another close call.
After Aritmancy Granger had Transfiguration. On the way there Draco stopped in the library to see if he could spot his body.
"Have you seen Draco Malfoy?" He asked a nerdy looking blonde Slytherin, who was wearing robes that were two short for him and thick horn rimmed reading glasses. Draco did a double take when he realized it was him, or Granger rather.
"You're looking at him." said Granger. Draco thought his voice was quite sexy, but was too outraged to dwell much on it.
"What the Hell do you think you are doing Granger? You're turning me into....you!"
"Well, that would make sense, considering I am in your rather ugly body."
"I'm sure you've enjoyed it."
Hermione's POV:
"Not as much as you've enjoyed your new breasts," Hermione replied, noting the too tight shirt.
"Look Granger, these clothes are doing nothing if not benefiting you. Hell, maybe now someone will actually notice you're a girl. I certainly didn't before. On the other hand, I don't see how your hanging around the library, making me look like a complete loser, is helping either of us."
Hermione went silent for awhile. Did he really think she was only there to make him look bad? That was half the reason, but she wouldn't sink as low as to make it her life purpose. Knowing Malfoy he'd probably made an organized list of how to destroy her social career.
"Malfoy, please tell me that's a joke," she said finally.
"Oh. Right. You're trying to figure out how to un-do this, aren't you?"
"No, I'm reading up on easy ways to decorate a dungeon," she snapped.
"Clever Granger. You'd better hurry up or you're going to get more than you bargained for."
"What are you talking about?"
"You're little body switching hex," he said slowly, as if she were a small child who needed everything explained to her.
"First of all, the switch was not my fault. I am not sure how it happened. Tell me what hex you tried to put on me. That may give me something to work with. Secondly, what exactly are you planning Malfoy?"
"Oh, well, you know, there are lots of pretty girls in Gryffindor...." he pretended to be more interested in his nails....well Hermione guessed they were technically her nails...he began biting them.
"Get your dirty mouth off of my nails!"
Malfoy raised an eyebrow, something Hermione herself had never managed.
"Technically Granger, it is your mouth. Actually, your lips are surprisingly warm for someone so frigid."
"And you have a surprisingly small dick for someone --"
"Ah, so you've met Eddie?"
"You named your wang! Oh, that's low Malfoy. Even for you."
"Like you haven't named your tits."
"I haven't!"
"Granger, you're making me blush. Literally." Malfoy handed Hermione a compact. She gazed into the mirror and saw that the face staring back at her, Malfoy's, had turned beet red.
"Fine....it was just....Ginny dared me to!" Malfoy raised Hermione's eyebrow again. "I am going to casturate you if you do that one more time. I mean it. I've got your balls right here," she said, glancing down and smirking slightly.
"Just figure out how to undo this," Draco answered, fed up. Without another word he left, sashaying Hermione's hips as he exited.
"God he makes me look like a tart!"
Draco's POV:
Granger could be quite scathing when she wanted to. He liked that in a woman. It was rare that any female questioned him, even his mother. Not that she hadn't pissed him off. As he sat down in her desk for Charms, Draco took out his notebook and added three more things to his list.
3) Always have a nasty comment about Weasley's family/Dumbledore/Hagrid
4) Agree with Snape whenever he corrects Potter/Potter's stupid friends
5) Fuck up her friendship with Potter and Weasley
If he didn't at least breakup her friendship with Potter and Weasley this whole thing would be a waste.
"Malfoy!" He turned out of habit, forgetting for a second that he was supposed to be Granger. Luckily, the one who had called him actually was Granger, though very out of breath.
"What now Granger?"
"Um...I have something very important to ask you."
"I haven't got all day, make it quick."
"Its kind of embarassing."
"Well?" he sounded impatient.
..................
"Granger!"
"Sorry! Its just.....well you've had to pee twice, and both times I've missed the toilet bowl....I even tried to aim, but..."
Draco began to chuckle.
"I knew you couldn't keep your hands off me."
A/N: More comedy in the next chapter, this one was still exposition
Thank you for all your encouraging reviews!! Much Love! -Tigraine
Hermione's POV:
Hermione would have liked to be the bigger person, and not ruin Malfoy's reputation, but he had really gone too far. He'd dressed her like a slut!
"I can't believe Ron and Harry! Those two morons didn't bloody notice it wasn't me!" she muttered sulkily, spraying poor Myrtle with Malfoy's piss for the second time that day. "I hate this bloody thing!" This time she was screaming. Hermione didn't understand how guys were able to handle such an impractical instrument, although....no. She would never let herself admit (even in her mind) that she rather enjoyed being able to stare freely at Malfoy (as long as there was a mirror nearby).
"Handle an instrument? That sounded wrong even in my head. Myrtle, where are you, I'm sick of bloody talking to myself!"
The ghost floated over, sniffling constantly.
"You sniffle expect poor sniff Myrtle to keep you company when sniff sniffle you have no business even sniffle being in here! What's a boy sniff even doing here? Haven't you sob got anything sob sob better to do than bother poor, pathetic, defenseless little Myrtle!" She began to moan, once more proving "Moaning Myrtle" a very fitting name.
"Myrtle don't be so thick!"
"Besides, how can you sniffle sob mock me when you can't even use your dick?" Myrtle perked up once she'd gotten a good insult out there. Her sobs started to turn into giggles. Needless to say, Hermione was furious.
"Myrtle its me! Hermione!" This just added more fuel to the fire. Myrtle fell through the sink laughing. After about five minutes she came back to taunt Hermione some more.
"Ooh, really? You're supposed to be the clever one! This is worse than the time you turned yourself into a cat! At least then you stayed the same gender!" Myrtle flew off cackling. "Wait till I tell Peeves!"
"MYRTLE COME BACK HERE, YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT TELL PEEVES!" Hermione, in a burst of inspiration threatened to tell Harry about Myrtle's obsessive crush on him if she dared breathe one word to anyone.
"He already knows," Myrtle said, pouting.
"Ah, but he doesn't know about the erotica you've been writing about the two of you." Hermione grinned triumphantly, holding up a damp notebook with "Myrtle's Diary, Keep Out!" scrawled on it.
"I'll bet you got off on it. Fine, I won't tell. Its perfectly miserable having to keep secrets!"
"That's right up your alley, isn't it? Well I've got to get to the library." If Malfoy was going to give Hermione a bad girl image, then she was going to make him the biggest nerd Hogwarts had ever seen.
Draco's POV:
Draco thought he'd been lucky when he found Granger's class list, of course he hadn't counted on Arithmancy being the most boring class in history. Rather than pay attention, he started making a list of how to ruin Granger's life (apart from completely sabotaging her good girl reputation).
1) Constantly bring up Weasley's economic status
Draco was proud of that one. It could potentially ruin Granger's friendship with both Weasley and his sister, as well as making the annoying red heads feel extremely self conscious.
He paused from making his list for a second, glancing at Granger's reflection in a compact he had taken from her makeup bag (he had been shocked to find that Granger actually owned beauty products). For the second time that day, Draco found himself thinking her rather sexy.
"Hmm, you know..." he said to himself, then added a second thing to his list.
2) Go around saying "Malfoy is sexy"
That one would get the Gryffindors riled up. He suspected that he was number two on their hate list, right under Snape. Draco shuddered, making a mental note never to think of himself "under" Snape ever again.
"Hermione, are you okay?" asked Ginny Weasley. What was she doing in the class? Wasn't it a sixth year course?
"Er...yeah, why? Of course I'm okay!"
"You aren't paying attention and this is your favourite class, plus I caught you talking to yourself, and you shuddered just a second ago."
"Oh, PMS."
"Oh, of course. It can make anyone act weird. You'd think we'd have come up with a magical cure for it by now!" Ginny whispered, earning a glare from the Professor. "Sorry Professor," said Ginny sheepishly, and the class went on. Draco breathed a sigh of relief. Another close call.
After Aritmancy Granger had Transfiguration. On the way there Draco stopped in the library to see if he could spot his body.
"Have you seen Draco Malfoy?" He asked a nerdy looking blonde Slytherin, who was wearing robes that were two short for him and thick horn rimmed reading glasses. Draco did a double take when he realized it was him, or Granger rather.
"You're looking at him." said Granger. Draco thought his voice was quite sexy, but was too outraged to dwell much on it.
"What the Hell do you think you are doing Granger? You're turning me into....you!"
"Well, that would make sense, considering I am in your rather ugly body."
"I'm sure you've enjoyed it."
Hermione's POV:
"Not as much as you've enjoyed your new breasts," Hermione replied, noting the too tight shirt.
"Look Granger, these clothes are doing nothing if not benefiting you. Hell, maybe now someone will actually notice you're a girl. I certainly didn't before. On the other hand, I don't see how your hanging around the library, making me look like a complete loser, is helping either of us."
Hermione went silent for awhile. Did he really think she was only there to make him look bad? That was half the reason, but she wouldn't sink as low as to make it her life purpose. Knowing Malfoy he'd probably made an organized list of how to destroy her social career.
"Malfoy, please tell me that's a joke," she said finally.
"Oh. Right. You're trying to figure out how to un-do this, aren't you?"
"No, I'm reading up on easy ways to decorate a dungeon," she snapped.
"Clever Granger. You'd better hurry up or you're going to get more than you bargained for."
"What are you talking about?"
"You're little body switching hex," he said slowly, as if she were a small child who needed everything explained to her.
"First of all, the switch was not my fault. I am not sure how it happened. Tell me what hex you tried to put on me. That may give me something to work with. Secondly, what exactly are you planning Malfoy?"
"Oh, well, you know, there are lots of pretty girls in Gryffindor...." he pretended to be more interested in his nails....well Hermione guessed they were technically her nails...he began biting them.
"Get your dirty mouth off of my nails!"
Malfoy raised an eyebrow, something Hermione herself had never managed.
"Technically Granger, it is your mouth. Actually, your lips are surprisingly warm for someone so frigid."
"And you have a surprisingly small dick for someone --"
"Ah, so you've met Eddie?"
"You named your wang! Oh, that's low Malfoy. Even for you."
"Like you haven't named your tits."
"I haven't!"
"Granger, you're making me blush. Literally." Malfoy handed Hermione a compact. She gazed into the mirror and saw that the face staring back at her, Malfoy's, had turned beet red.
"Fine....it was just....Ginny dared me to!" Malfoy raised Hermione's eyebrow again. "I am going to casturate you if you do that one more time. I mean it. I've got your balls right here," she said, glancing down and smirking slightly.
"Just figure out how to undo this," Draco answered, fed up. Without another word he left, sashaying Hermione's hips as he exited.
"God he makes me look like a tart!"
Draco's POV:
Granger could be quite scathing when she wanted to. He liked that in a woman. It was rare that any female questioned him, even his mother. Not that she hadn't pissed him off. As he sat down in her desk for Charms, Draco took out his notebook and added three more things to his list.
3) Always have a nasty comment about Weasley's family/Dumbledore/Hagrid
4) Agree with Snape whenever he corrects Potter/Potter's stupid friends
5) Fuck up her friendship with Potter and Weasley
If he didn't at least breakup her friendship with Potter and Weasley this whole thing would be a waste.
"Malfoy!" He turned out of habit, forgetting for a second that he was supposed to be Granger. Luckily, the one who had called him actually was Granger, though very out of breath.
"What now Granger?"
"Um...I have something very important to ask you."
"I haven't got all day, make it quick."
"Its kind of embarassing."
"Well?" he sounded impatient.
..................
"Granger!"
"Sorry! Its just.....well you've had to pee twice, and both times I've missed the toilet bowl....I even tried to aim, but..."
Draco began to chuckle.
"I knew you couldn't keep your hands off me."
A/N: More comedy in the next chapter, this one was still exposition
Thank you for all your encouraging reviews!! Much Love! -Tigraine