Lost and Afraid
By: Angedelamorte
Disclaimer: I don't own any of it. And you can tell I'm not really getting paid for it, because if I was getting paid... why would I post it on a site where everyone else could see it?
Random Quotes: "I realize that everyone who lives will someday die and die alone." -Brand New
"I come to this place of my ancestors...and I remember... we're dying. In every breath we take, in every cup of tea we drink, in every life we take, we're dying." -Katsumoto, The Last Samurai
Author's Note: I decided to add some nice little random quotes. They probably won't have anything to do with the chapter but I think these are rather fitting for the story... So, back to the story, I like the longer chapters, so I'll probably stick with the longer ones. But...Good news! I've got Spring Break this week so... you might get some more chapters ________________________________________________________________________
Severus watched the retreating form of Draco Malfoy and was surprised at the fact that Draco hadn't cursed Harry into oblivion. He was too far to hear the conversation though, but he did see Harry's actions. Making sure Draco had returned to the school, Severus briskly walked toward his son.
"What the hell do you think you are doing?" Severus yelled causing Harry to jolt from his stupor.
"What?" Harry asked rather terrified. He then looked at his arm. "This, i- its nothing." He attempted to hide the rest of his scars by pulling down his sleeves. Severus noticed Harry trying to do this and grabbed his arms.
"What are these?" Severus roared. Not bothering for and answer he yelled, "How long has this been going on for?"
"N-not long. I swear. Harry managed to stutter as he cowered away from Severus.
"These scars are old." Severus replied and he was telling the truth. Many of them had the pinkish look of newly healed skin and some of them were already white and fading.
Severus jerked Harry from his seat by the lake and muttered, "We're going to see the Headmaster."
Harry was in shock. He was reliving every moment Vernon Dursley had with him. Harry was slowing down and Severus jerked his arm and tugged him forward. "Come on," Severus said his voice little more than a growl.
But Harry didn't hear him he was remembering one particularly bad incident with Vernon.
~~Flashback~~
It was this past summer. Right after Harry stopped writing the letters. Vernon Dursley was outraged. The boy couldn't write any letters. The stupid child just wasn't trying. "Come on, boy, up to your room. You're getting
punished."
Harry remembered himself crying. Begging for forgiveness, but his uncle
wouldn't listen. The only thing he'd reply was, "Freaks don't deserve forgiveness." He was dragged to his room and beaten severely. Harry could almost feel the blows from Vernon. Feel the knife cutting into his skin.
Then, the worst thing of all happened.
Severus stopped, Harry wouldn't keep walked he was visibly shaking. Severus didn't care it was probably just some stunt Harry was trying to pull in an attempt to get out of trouble. Severus lightly slapped Harry on the side of the face, "Snap out of it, Potter. It doesn't matter what you pull you are not getting out having to see Dumbledore."
It wasn't working at all. The only thing the slap did was make Harry cringe and hide his face. "Dammit boy! You are going to see the Headmaster NOW!" Severus bellowed. This did not make the boy snap into obedience as usual. It caused Harry to try and jerk his arm out of Severus's grasp and push his small body into the wall.
"Shit!" Severus said softly, "What am I going to do now?" He looked at the small boy before him. The boy looked so innocent, but his eyes held a haunted look. If the eyes were the door to the soul, there was something wrong with Harry. His eyes had the look of something broken beyond fixing.
"Potter, I'm going to go get the Headmaster, stay here." Severus said softly. Harry looked at him with unseeing eyes. Severus rushed down the hallway towards Dumbledore's office.
________________________________________________________________________
Draco Malfoy was worried. Har-Potter had returned to the school but he was being dragged by Professor Snape. Harry had such a terrified look in his. It reminded Draco of the way his father's eyes had looked after he broke out of Azkaban. The Dementors were very reluctant to leave the prison. They really weren't loyal to Fudge, but many of them probably remembered what it was like after Voldemort was defeated. It was hell for them.
Draco was slowly walking the hallways, looking for Potter. He really didn't know why he bothered, but the boy looked as if someone needed to talk to him. ________________________________________________________________________
Back in the hallway.....
Harry was slowly coming back to his surroundings. He was in a hallway. Hard to tell if that was either good or bad. He heard footsteps; this was bad, very bad. Footsteps never seemed to bring anyone good in Harry's life. The footsteps came closer; the footsteps were light, as if they were from someone who was used to sneaking around. Vernon Dursley had quiet footsteps, unless he was drunk. Harry huddled toward the wall as if trying to become part of it. The footsteps came closer still... Harry's heart was hammering. The owner of the footsteps turned the corner.
It was Malfoy.
Harry let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Malfoy shouldn't want to hurt him too much.
Draco found Harry huddled against a wall. "God, Potter, what the hell are you doing?" he asked. Harry looked like hell. He was beyond pale. He looked almost translucent. Harry didn't answer. "Well?" Draco asked.
"N-nothing." Harry replied quietly. He just wanted Draco to go away. He wanted to be left alone.
"You know what. I shouldn't even bother any more. I actually go out to figure out if you're being viciously murdered by some crazed Death Eater wannabe. I figured he was probably decapitating you. Voldemort would probably have a field day. He'd take your head mount it on a pike, put it in front of the Ministry of Magic or maybe right here in front of Hogwarts and let the world see their hero." Draco ranted.
Harry sat in silence waiting for Draco to finish. "I'm no hero," he said quietly, "I'm just a murderous freak. I end up killing everyone around me."
Draco was silent. Harry seemed to lose all of his self confidence as well as much of his sanity. He was about to turn around and leave when he heard two rather angry voices. "Draco Malfoy! What do you think you are doing out of your dormitory?" Severus yelled.
"Mr. Malfoy, I'm afraid I will have to-" Albus started.
"Give you detention with... me." Severus sneered.
"Don't give him detention," a soft voice said, "I distracted him; he was heading to his common room and I wouldn't let him pass." Harry lied.
"Very well, Mr. Malfoy, no detention for being out of your room." Severus said. Draco exhaled. He was out of detention. "Mr. Malfoy! Could you choose to breathe any louder? Detention for breathing too loud after curfew. Now get back to your room before I feel like taking away house points." Severus snapped. Malfoy silently walked down the hall toward the Slytherin common room.
"Now Mr. Potter, I do believe you have some explaining to do about a certain knife." Dumbledore said.
Harry silently got up and walked with Dumbledore and Snape to Dumbledore's office. Albus quietly whispered the password, "Beef Jerky." The office was much different from last year. Fawkes was looking much older. All the portraits were sleeping, as usual, except for Sirius's relative, Phineaus*. Harry didn't even have the heart to look at the painting. Dumbledore's desk was almost empty. Harry silently recalled the night of Sirius's death. Smashing all of Dumbledore's belongings trying to vent his anger and his pain.
Harry sat down in one of the numerous chairs around Dumbledore's desk. "Lemon Drop?" Dumbledore offered. Harry declined. "Now, Harry, what were you doing out by the lake tonight?"
Silence
"Dammit boy! The Headmaster asked you a question, you better answer it!" Severus yelled. Harry curled into a ball and attempted to become one with the chair.
"Now Severus," Dumbledore said in his usual calm demeanor, "That is no way to speak to your son. You should act like a father."
"He doesn't think I'm his son. I'm just the problem that he created with my mother, he probably figured she was just some mudblood, it doesn't matter what happens, she's just a mudblood." Harry said bitterly.
Severus slapped Harry, "Don't you dare talk about me and your mother that way," Severus said through gritted teeth. Harry looked at Severus in shock. Severus actually hit him. Harry touched the side of his mouth and his hand came away with blood.
The tears were pooling in Harry's eyes. He never did anything right. "Now, Harry, it's all right. We just need to talk about a few things and then you can go to bed. Now we know what you were doing with that knife. This is your free pass, if we see any more scars; you will be in major trouble. Got it?" Harry nodded. "Now give me the knife." Harry was rather reluctant to give up his knife, but he ended up giving it up. "Ok, now that's all for tonight, why don't we help you to your dormitory."
Albus helped Harry get up. When Severus went to help him Harry shrunk away. Severus just stood in the office, his eyes never leaving the little bit of blood in the corner of his lip.
Harry was silent all the way to the portrait of the fat lady. "The password is 'Carpe Diem.' Got it? Good. Sleep well, Harry."
The common room was exactly the same as it was last year. Harry walked up the staircase to the 6th year boy's dormitory. Everyone was asleep and soon Harry fell into a light slumber.
________________________________________________________________________
Harry woke early the next morning and cast the glamour charm on himself. Surprisingly, it wasn't painful. He got dressed and walked down to the Great Hall for breakfast.
Harry was lucky; there were hardly any students in the Great Hall at that time. He was the only Griffindor. There were probably about ten students total. When Harry sat down, Professor McGonagall gave Harry a schedule. It was basically the same classes as last year, only at a NEWT level.
Harry ate quickly and was lucky enough to avoid most of the students. He was on his way out when someone called his name. "OY! Harry over here." It was Ron he was motioning for Harry to sit by him and Hermione. Harry shook his head no and left the Great Hall.
He was in the hallway when someone grabbed his shoulder. Wand at the ready, Harry turned to face someone he figured he wouldn't have to face for a long time.
________________________________________________________________________
Author's Note: So... How was that chapter? Good? Bad? Horrendous? You know I would like to hear what you have to say. If anyone would like for me to tell them when I get the next chapter out, send me a review asking so with your email address in it. And then, when I have the next chapter out, I'll email you.
Oh yeah, and one strange request, anyone have any recommendations for a fanfic to read? I spend so much time reading them that I can't seem to find any good ones. I pretty much prefer Harry Potter, though.
By: Angedelamorte
Disclaimer: I don't own any of it. And you can tell I'm not really getting paid for it, because if I was getting paid... why would I post it on a site where everyone else could see it?
Random Quotes: "I realize that everyone who lives will someday die and die alone." -Brand New
"I come to this place of my ancestors...and I remember... we're dying. In every breath we take, in every cup of tea we drink, in every life we take, we're dying." -Katsumoto, The Last Samurai
Author's Note: I decided to add some nice little random quotes. They probably won't have anything to do with the chapter but I think these are rather fitting for the story... So, back to the story, I like the longer chapters, so I'll probably stick with the longer ones. But...Good news! I've got Spring Break this week so... you might get some more chapters ________________________________________________________________________
Severus watched the retreating form of Draco Malfoy and was surprised at the fact that Draco hadn't cursed Harry into oblivion. He was too far to hear the conversation though, but he did see Harry's actions. Making sure Draco had returned to the school, Severus briskly walked toward his son.
"What the hell do you think you are doing?" Severus yelled causing Harry to jolt from his stupor.
"What?" Harry asked rather terrified. He then looked at his arm. "This, i- its nothing." He attempted to hide the rest of his scars by pulling down his sleeves. Severus noticed Harry trying to do this and grabbed his arms.
"What are these?" Severus roared. Not bothering for and answer he yelled, "How long has this been going on for?"
"N-not long. I swear. Harry managed to stutter as he cowered away from Severus.
"These scars are old." Severus replied and he was telling the truth. Many of them had the pinkish look of newly healed skin and some of them were already white and fading.
Severus jerked Harry from his seat by the lake and muttered, "We're going to see the Headmaster."
Harry was in shock. He was reliving every moment Vernon Dursley had with him. Harry was slowing down and Severus jerked his arm and tugged him forward. "Come on," Severus said his voice little more than a growl.
But Harry didn't hear him he was remembering one particularly bad incident with Vernon.
~~Flashback~~
It was this past summer. Right after Harry stopped writing the letters. Vernon Dursley was outraged. The boy couldn't write any letters. The stupid child just wasn't trying. "Come on, boy, up to your room. You're getting
punished."
Harry remembered himself crying. Begging for forgiveness, but his uncle
wouldn't listen. The only thing he'd reply was, "Freaks don't deserve forgiveness." He was dragged to his room and beaten severely. Harry could almost feel the blows from Vernon. Feel the knife cutting into his skin.
Then, the worst thing of all happened.
Severus stopped, Harry wouldn't keep walked he was visibly shaking. Severus didn't care it was probably just some stunt Harry was trying to pull in an attempt to get out of trouble. Severus lightly slapped Harry on the side of the face, "Snap out of it, Potter. It doesn't matter what you pull you are not getting out having to see Dumbledore."
It wasn't working at all. The only thing the slap did was make Harry cringe and hide his face. "Dammit boy! You are going to see the Headmaster NOW!" Severus bellowed. This did not make the boy snap into obedience as usual. It caused Harry to try and jerk his arm out of Severus's grasp and push his small body into the wall.
"Shit!" Severus said softly, "What am I going to do now?" He looked at the small boy before him. The boy looked so innocent, but his eyes held a haunted look. If the eyes were the door to the soul, there was something wrong with Harry. His eyes had the look of something broken beyond fixing.
"Potter, I'm going to go get the Headmaster, stay here." Severus said softly. Harry looked at him with unseeing eyes. Severus rushed down the hallway towards Dumbledore's office.
________________________________________________________________________
Draco Malfoy was worried. Har-Potter had returned to the school but he was being dragged by Professor Snape. Harry had such a terrified look in his. It reminded Draco of the way his father's eyes had looked after he broke out of Azkaban. The Dementors were very reluctant to leave the prison. They really weren't loyal to Fudge, but many of them probably remembered what it was like after Voldemort was defeated. It was hell for them.
Draco was slowly walking the hallways, looking for Potter. He really didn't know why he bothered, but the boy looked as if someone needed to talk to him. ________________________________________________________________________
Back in the hallway.....
Harry was slowly coming back to his surroundings. He was in a hallway. Hard to tell if that was either good or bad. He heard footsteps; this was bad, very bad. Footsteps never seemed to bring anyone good in Harry's life. The footsteps came closer; the footsteps were light, as if they were from someone who was used to sneaking around. Vernon Dursley had quiet footsteps, unless he was drunk. Harry huddled toward the wall as if trying to become part of it. The footsteps came closer still... Harry's heart was hammering. The owner of the footsteps turned the corner.
It was Malfoy.
Harry let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Malfoy shouldn't want to hurt him too much.
Draco found Harry huddled against a wall. "God, Potter, what the hell are you doing?" he asked. Harry looked like hell. He was beyond pale. He looked almost translucent. Harry didn't answer. "Well?" Draco asked.
"N-nothing." Harry replied quietly. He just wanted Draco to go away. He wanted to be left alone.
"You know what. I shouldn't even bother any more. I actually go out to figure out if you're being viciously murdered by some crazed Death Eater wannabe. I figured he was probably decapitating you. Voldemort would probably have a field day. He'd take your head mount it on a pike, put it in front of the Ministry of Magic or maybe right here in front of Hogwarts and let the world see their hero." Draco ranted.
Harry sat in silence waiting for Draco to finish. "I'm no hero," he said quietly, "I'm just a murderous freak. I end up killing everyone around me."
Draco was silent. Harry seemed to lose all of his self confidence as well as much of his sanity. He was about to turn around and leave when he heard two rather angry voices. "Draco Malfoy! What do you think you are doing out of your dormitory?" Severus yelled.
"Mr. Malfoy, I'm afraid I will have to-" Albus started.
"Give you detention with... me." Severus sneered.
"Don't give him detention," a soft voice said, "I distracted him; he was heading to his common room and I wouldn't let him pass." Harry lied.
"Very well, Mr. Malfoy, no detention for being out of your room." Severus said. Draco exhaled. He was out of detention. "Mr. Malfoy! Could you choose to breathe any louder? Detention for breathing too loud after curfew. Now get back to your room before I feel like taking away house points." Severus snapped. Malfoy silently walked down the hall toward the Slytherin common room.
"Now Mr. Potter, I do believe you have some explaining to do about a certain knife." Dumbledore said.
Harry silently got up and walked with Dumbledore and Snape to Dumbledore's office. Albus quietly whispered the password, "Beef Jerky." The office was much different from last year. Fawkes was looking much older. All the portraits were sleeping, as usual, except for Sirius's relative, Phineaus*. Harry didn't even have the heart to look at the painting. Dumbledore's desk was almost empty. Harry silently recalled the night of Sirius's death. Smashing all of Dumbledore's belongings trying to vent his anger and his pain.
Harry sat down in one of the numerous chairs around Dumbledore's desk. "Lemon Drop?" Dumbledore offered. Harry declined. "Now, Harry, what were you doing out by the lake tonight?"
Silence
"Dammit boy! The Headmaster asked you a question, you better answer it!" Severus yelled. Harry curled into a ball and attempted to become one with the chair.
"Now Severus," Dumbledore said in his usual calm demeanor, "That is no way to speak to your son. You should act like a father."
"He doesn't think I'm his son. I'm just the problem that he created with my mother, he probably figured she was just some mudblood, it doesn't matter what happens, she's just a mudblood." Harry said bitterly.
Severus slapped Harry, "Don't you dare talk about me and your mother that way," Severus said through gritted teeth. Harry looked at Severus in shock. Severus actually hit him. Harry touched the side of his mouth and his hand came away with blood.
The tears were pooling in Harry's eyes. He never did anything right. "Now, Harry, it's all right. We just need to talk about a few things and then you can go to bed. Now we know what you were doing with that knife. This is your free pass, if we see any more scars; you will be in major trouble. Got it?" Harry nodded. "Now give me the knife." Harry was rather reluctant to give up his knife, but he ended up giving it up. "Ok, now that's all for tonight, why don't we help you to your dormitory."
Albus helped Harry get up. When Severus went to help him Harry shrunk away. Severus just stood in the office, his eyes never leaving the little bit of blood in the corner of his lip.
Harry was silent all the way to the portrait of the fat lady. "The password is 'Carpe Diem.' Got it? Good. Sleep well, Harry."
The common room was exactly the same as it was last year. Harry walked up the staircase to the 6th year boy's dormitory. Everyone was asleep and soon Harry fell into a light slumber.
________________________________________________________________________
Harry woke early the next morning and cast the glamour charm on himself. Surprisingly, it wasn't painful. He got dressed and walked down to the Great Hall for breakfast.
Harry was lucky; there were hardly any students in the Great Hall at that time. He was the only Griffindor. There were probably about ten students total. When Harry sat down, Professor McGonagall gave Harry a schedule. It was basically the same classes as last year, only at a NEWT level.
Harry ate quickly and was lucky enough to avoid most of the students. He was on his way out when someone called his name. "OY! Harry over here." It was Ron he was motioning for Harry to sit by him and Hermione. Harry shook his head no and left the Great Hall.
He was in the hallway when someone grabbed his shoulder. Wand at the ready, Harry turned to face someone he figured he wouldn't have to face for a long time.
________________________________________________________________________
Author's Note: So... How was that chapter? Good? Bad? Horrendous? You know I would like to hear what you have to say. If anyone would like for me to tell them when I get the next chapter out, send me a review asking so with your email address in it. And then, when I have the next chapter out, I'll email you.
Oh yeah, and one strange request, anyone have any recommendations for a fanfic to read? I spend so much time reading them that I can't seem to find any good ones. I pretty much prefer Harry Potter, though.