Authors note: Hi look i've done it again actually updated, I really like to know what you think of this one, remember this is an AU this Sam made a choice that meant her future was different from in the series, let me know what you think good or bad.

Chapter 13

The infirmary was very still and silent for a moment then Sam looked up straight at Janet and asked

"Do you think I'm manipulative" her eyes still glinted with tears but her voice had found it's strength.

Janet didn't break the gaze, answering honestly

"No. You're not perfect, people aren't but you've never been manipulative around me. Is that what he said to you?"

"No, that's what I did with Jonas. We weren't loves sweet dream, that went wrong. Jan, I asked him out, I used him, because at the time it suited me, now he uses me, so please don't think I'm innocent in this mess"

"Sam whatever you did you don't deserve Jonas's violence. Tell me what's got you so bothered that you even consider you might, I'm your friend Sam I want to understand." Sam paused, then looking at Janet's open caring expression she took a deep breath finally prepared to explain.

"I was in a relationship before Jonas, at the Academy, I needed to distract people from it, so I asked Jonas out. It was over with the other guy but if the military had taken an interest, my career would have been over, and Jonas was charming and sweet, I thought I could learn to love him for a while. I honestly didn't think it mattered"

"Sam it was a long time ago we all make mistakes" Janet said reassuringly

"I was so selfish Janet," Sam's face was almost pleading with her to understand "He thought I loved him, I made him believe that, I wanted him around, wanted a obvious new relationship to stick in everyones face, the consequences were just a little more long term than I had in mind. And having Jonas was easier than not, staying always cost less than leaving short term, I didn't mean to hurt him."

"He knows?" Janet was naïve, she understood the circumstances but that Jonas knew shocked her.

"Yea, he knows" she showed no sighs of expanding on how, it was history, how didn't matter anymore.

"Sam, listen to me, so you're not innocent, relationships have started for worse reasons, it doesn't mean you deserve what he does, we all have skeletons, we've all done things we're not proud of, no one deserves the way he treats you"

"I just can't cope with everyone acting like I'm a saint in all this, if they knew they'd see it differently"

"No, they'd still see you need to get out. Not being honest with your partner is a reason to break up, maybe a reason to write them an angry letter, maybe even a reason to throw their stuff out onto the street, but it is not a reason no matter what the lie, to tie them up and leave them on the floor, to kick them till their ribs crack, it is not a reason to land them in hospital! But if you're right and for some reason you do deserve this, which is ridiculous and you know it, it is not a reason to even think about breaking the confidentiality of this base"

"Yea, I know I need to stop him" She said resignedly

"No 'we will' stop him" Janet said forcefully

Sam smiled a little at her determination "Okay 'we'," she considered "Look Jan, thanks Okay" She said sincerely

"No problem, I meant it"

"So which consequence did your x-husband get?"

"Ah well I've always been a bit of a relationship coward when it comes to the big stuff, he got a note on the kitchen table and no one had done the washing up"

"Why?"

"He was cheating on me, admitted it before then gave me all this BS about how the military had changed me. He'd never wanted me to join, said he didn't know me anymore and was sure I was shagging the whole platoon anyway" She smiled to herself "Then he said he wanted to make it work and we should get therapy" She smiled again "Took me a week to realise he just didn't want to lose someone who was willing to wash his dirty socks and had no intention of changing just wanted me to change into someone who wouldn't mind"

"I don't really see that ever being your style"

"Me neither, so I left. Then got the divorce and for the first time in my life I was grateful I didn't have kids. Well enough of my mistakes, we'd better go and see if the guys have heard anything"

"Sure lets hope they find him"

Authors note: OK, i will write more as soon as poss, please review no matter what you thought, they always make me write faster! thanks for all the reviews I recieved so far :)