Lost and Afraid
By: Angedelamorte
Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.... (Damn)
Random Quote: "What we do in life; echoes in eternity" - Maximus, Gladiator
Author's Note: ...Should I make this a Harry/Draco slash? Or should I bring in a new character or something? Thanks for the reviews guys. They make me feel special. ________________________________________________________________________
Just minutes after Harry left the Great Hall; Draco left, taking the same path as Harry.
Draco was silently following Harry down the hallway. Harry was veering left and right as if trying to loose some unseen stalker. ________________________________________________________________________
Harry was concentrating on one thing only; escape. His mind was racing. He needed to stop. He needed to breathe. He needed to live; or die.
Harry stopped right outside Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. No one would be in there he would have some peace. He walked into the bathroom; no one there; peace; quiet. Harry pulled out his knife and rolled up the sleeve of his shirt. Now was the time. Now was his chance for some peace.
He stopped and he thought. 'What would Dumbledore say? What would Snape say? What would his friends say?'
"No. They don't care. I've got no one left," Harry said, listening to the sound reverberate off the wall.
A voice came from the shadows, "If you kill yourself, Potter, what would happen to the rest of the world?"
Harry thought before answering. The shadows were talking to him. Maybe he was crazy. He was the freak his uncle told him he was. Shadows spoke to him, dead people spoke to him. "Why do I care what happens to the rest of the world?" Harry asked the shadows, "It's not like they give a shit about me," Harry said with finality as he brought the knife closer to his wrist. "I'm just a freak," Harry muttered, "No one cares," he said as he slashed the knife deeply into his wrist.
He watched with fascination as the blood flowed freely from his wrist. Draco ran from the shadows. "Potter! What are you doing?" Draco yelled as he tried to grab Harry to drag him to the Hospital Wing.
Some hidden force pushed Draco back. 'Shit!' Draco thought as he shakily got to his feet. He looked over at Harry. The blood was pooling around him.
Harry fell back, unconscious; the barriers that were protecting him fell. After quickly check over Harry, Draco ran to the Great Hall to get Severus. ________________________________________________________________________
Severus was eating his breakfast; when Draco came running into the Great Hall. "Professor," he panted, "Potter, in the bathroom; suicide."
"What?" Severus hissed, already getting up from his seat.
"Harry was in the bathroom and he said that no one cared and-and he cut himself, I tried to stop him but I got thrown back," Draco hastily replied, his aristocratic air gone.
Severus rushed down to the bathroom and found Harry on the floor. In a pool of blood. "Harry," Severus said softly while picking up the frail boy, "Wake up Harry, please. Wake up." The unconscious body of Harry seemed to flinch at Severus's touch. "Come on Harry," he continued, "You have to wake up."
Harry moaned; Severus got up and rushed down to the Hospital Wing completely oblivious to the fact that most of the student population was staring at him and the bloody body of Harry Potter. ________________________________________________________________________
Severus flew down to the Hospital Wing. "Poppy! Poppy get over here! Quick!" he yelled incapable of hiding the panic in his voice.
Madame Pomphrey rushed into the Hospital Wing from her office, "Yes Se-" she began before immediately snapping into nurse mode. "Put him on the bed and give me some room." She began administering several different potions. After a few minutes she turned to Severus, "What happened?" she whispered.
"I don't know...."Severus started, "Draco said he tried to kill himself."
"Well, that's rather obvious," she started, "He lost a lot of blood, he was hardly living when you brought him in. Why would he try to kill himself?" she asked.
Albus stepped out of the shadows, "Poppy," he started, "This will all be discussed after Mr. Potter wakes. About how long would that be?"
"It all depends, he could wake in a couple hours; but he will probably wake sometime tomorrow," she answered.
"Very well, we shall speak with Mr. Potter tomorrow then," Albus said the ever present twinkle in his eye gone. ________________________________________________________________________
The next afternoon, Harry woke. 'Well,' he thought, 'this is a surprise.' Slowly he sat up to get his glasses. "Lay down," a voice said from above him, "Unless, of course, you would like to receive your punishment earlier."
Harry shook, "Y-yes, sir," Harry replied, he found out that the way to receive punishment was with respect.
A few hours or minutes later; Harry did not know; he was being shook. "Get up Harry," A gentle yet harsh voice said, "We have things to discuss."
Harry sat up; slowly, as glasses were put on his face. The world swam into focus. Dumbledore, Pomphrey. And, surprisingly, Snape were there.
Dumbledore continued, "Harry, why did you try to commit suicide?" he asked.
Silence.
"Harry why did you try to commit suicide?" he repeated.
Silence.
"Ok, then. Harry, did you even think of your friends or your family?"
Again, silence.
"Dammit boy, answer the questions!" Severus ordered.
A soft voice answered, "My friends are far too naïve to ever understand what goes on in my head and I have no family."
Albus, a bit shocked at Harry's answers, asked, "What about Severus, your father?"
A dead, monotone voice answered, "He is my father but not my family."
"Well, Mr. Potter, we will be back later," Albus said as he stepped away from the bed. ________________________________________________________________________
Albus stopped walking right out of Harry's earshot. "Severus, I believe Harry may have lost his mind. His answers are monotone; lifeless. It seems as if he died on the inside and his heart doesn't know his mind wants it to end."
"Albus, that is preposterous. The boy is lying. I say we should slip him some veritaserum, it will explain every thing." Severus said.
"We shall attempt that...If he finds out he will never trust us again." Albus replied and walked out of the room.
Severus muttered, "Like the boy had out trust in the first place." ________________________________________________________________________
A few hours later; Harry was already attempting to walk around the Hospital Wing, but Madam Pomphrey kept making him lay back down.
Albus walked into the room. "Ah, Poppy do you mind if I treat Mr. Potter to some tea in my office?'
"No, just make sure he doesn't over exert himself," Madame Pomphrey replied.
The walk to Albus's office was silent. Albus tried several times to engage in conversation with Harry, but Harry wouldn't speak.
Albus whispered the password to the gargoyle (Scrumdidliumptious) and entered the office. The tea was already sitting on his desk.
"Here, enjoy yourself," Albus said. Harry sipped his tea cautiously. A blank expression appeared on his face. "Is your name Harry James Potter?" Albus asked.
"Yes."
"Very well. Why did you attempt to commit suicide the other day?"
"Because I was sick of it all. Sick of being the savior of the Wizarding World. Sick of be the Boy-Who-Lived. Sick of being a murderous freak."
"Ok, what happened at the house of Mr. Vernon Dursley this summer?"
"He hurt me. He hit me. He did a lot of stuff." Harry's answers were becoming rough, he was fighting the veritaserum.
"Were you raped by Vernon Dursley many times this summer?"
There was one word until all hell broke loose in that office, "Yes." A look of dawning appeared on Harry's eyes. "W-what did you make me say?" he asked, "What did I say? What did you do?"
"You said several things but now we have to discuss a more important matter. You can no longer stay in the Griffindor Tower. You are going to stay with Professor Snape."
The words seemed to reverberate off the walls, "What?" Harry asked.
"You are going to stay with your father. You stayed with him all summer. Did you not?"
"Yes...but...I..." Harry was at a loss for words Dumbledore betrayed him.
"Ah, I understand, let's just call him down," Albus threw some sand like stuff into the fireplace and yelled, Severus Snape. Snape's head appeared in the fireplace.
"Yes Albus?" Severus asked.
"Hate to bother you but Mr. Potter here would like you to-" The office door slammed shut, "Never mind, he should be don there in a couple of minutes."
Albus leaned back in his chair. He lost Harry's trust, possibly for forever.
____________________________________________________________________________ ____
Albus was right, just minutes after Severus left the fireplace Harry walked into the room. He mumbled a quiet, "I'm going," and went into his room. He came back out a minute later and headed for the door. It was locked. He looked Severus in the eye, "Let me out."
Severus paused and examined the boy, the boy looked exhausted, "No."
"Fine," Harry said, "I'll just unlock it myself," he reached into his pocket and found...air. "Where's my wand?" he asked.
"Somewhere where a spoiled little boy can't find," Severus sneered. Harry flinched. "Albus had me confiscate it until I believe you are ready to get it back. Besides you won't want to go out there anyway. The school knows."
"Knows what?" Harry asked.
"Of your parentage. Mr. Weasley brought down your belongings and said something about 'lying dark wizards' that could live in the Slytherin rooms for all he cared," Severus sneered excitedly looking for the look of loss on Harry's face.
He saw a look like that but it was a thousand times worst. It looked as if Harry's entire world was falling down. The strict shields Harry put between him and his emotions were gone. His face showed all of his emotions. The dominant emotion was despair. Harry began muttering to himself, "See they all do hate you. They do. You freak." Harry walked into his room and sat on his bed. Repeating over and over, "They all hate you. You freak." He was so stuck in his mind; Harry didn't hear the door open and shut. ____________________________________________________________________________ ____
Severus was disturbed, he was hoping to get Harry to yell and vent out surpressed emotions but the only thing he got was proof that his child was most likely crazy. H
He stopped in front of the Slytherin Common Room. He gave the password (Potter sucks) and entered. He found who he was looking for. Draco was hidden in the shadows of the room. "Draco," Severus said, "Come with me." Without question Draco got up and followed Severus out of the room.
Severus stopped in front of the entrance to his rooms. "Draco, I need you to do something very important. This is of the up most importance, but it is absolutely confidential. Got it?"
"Yeah, but what exactly am I supposed to do?"
"I want you to convice my son that he isn't a freak and that he is sane." ____________________________________________________________________________ ____
Author's Note: .... Did you guys enjoy it? Review and tell me if I should make this a Harry/Draco slash?
By: Angedelamorte
Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.... (Damn)
Random Quote: "What we do in life; echoes in eternity" - Maximus, Gladiator
Author's Note: ...Should I make this a Harry/Draco slash? Or should I bring in a new character or something? Thanks for the reviews guys. They make me feel special. ________________________________________________________________________
Just minutes after Harry left the Great Hall; Draco left, taking the same path as Harry.
Draco was silently following Harry down the hallway. Harry was veering left and right as if trying to loose some unseen stalker. ________________________________________________________________________
Harry was concentrating on one thing only; escape. His mind was racing. He needed to stop. He needed to breathe. He needed to live; or die.
Harry stopped right outside Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. No one would be in there he would have some peace. He walked into the bathroom; no one there; peace; quiet. Harry pulled out his knife and rolled up the sleeve of his shirt. Now was the time. Now was his chance for some peace.
He stopped and he thought. 'What would Dumbledore say? What would Snape say? What would his friends say?'
"No. They don't care. I've got no one left," Harry said, listening to the sound reverberate off the wall.
A voice came from the shadows, "If you kill yourself, Potter, what would happen to the rest of the world?"
Harry thought before answering. The shadows were talking to him. Maybe he was crazy. He was the freak his uncle told him he was. Shadows spoke to him, dead people spoke to him. "Why do I care what happens to the rest of the world?" Harry asked the shadows, "It's not like they give a shit about me," Harry said with finality as he brought the knife closer to his wrist. "I'm just a freak," Harry muttered, "No one cares," he said as he slashed the knife deeply into his wrist.
He watched with fascination as the blood flowed freely from his wrist. Draco ran from the shadows. "Potter! What are you doing?" Draco yelled as he tried to grab Harry to drag him to the Hospital Wing.
Some hidden force pushed Draco back. 'Shit!' Draco thought as he shakily got to his feet. He looked over at Harry. The blood was pooling around him.
Harry fell back, unconscious; the barriers that were protecting him fell. After quickly check over Harry, Draco ran to the Great Hall to get Severus. ________________________________________________________________________
Severus was eating his breakfast; when Draco came running into the Great Hall. "Professor," he panted, "Potter, in the bathroom; suicide."
"What?" Severus hissed, already getting up from his seat.
"Harry was in the bathroom and he said that no one cared and-and he cut himself, I tried to stop him but I got thrown back," Draco hastily replied, his aristocratic air gone.
Severus rushed down to the bathroom and found Harry on the floor. In a pool of blood. "Harry," Severus said softly while picking up the frail boy, "Wake up Harry, please. Wake up." The unconscious body of Harry seemed to flinch at Severus's touch. "Come on Harry," he continued, "You have to wake up."
Harry moaned; Severus got up and rushed down to the Hospital Wing completely oblivious to the fact that most of the student population was staring at him and the bloody body of Harry Potter. ________________________________________________________________________
Severus flew down to the Hospital Wing. "Poppy! Poppy get over here! Quick!" he yelled incapable of hiding the panic in his voice.
Madame Pomphrey rushed into the Hospital Wing from her office, "Yes Se-" she began before immediately snapping into nurse mode. "Put him on the bed and give me some room." She began administering several different potions. After a few minutes she turned to Severus, "What happened?" she whispered.
"I don't know...."Severus started, "Draco said he tried to kill himself."
"Well, that's rather obvious," she started, "He lost a lot of blood, he was hardly living when you brought him in. Why would he try to kill himself?" she asked.
Albus stepped out of the shadows, "Poppy," he started, "This will all be discussed after Mr. Potter wakes. About how long would that be?"
"It all depends, he could wake in a couple hours; but he will probably wake sometime tomorrow," she answered.
"Very well, we shall speak with Mr. Potter tomorrow then," Albus said the ever present twinkle in his eye gone. ________________________________________________________________________
The next afternoon, Harry woke. 'Well,' he thought, 'this is a surprise.' Slowly he sat up to get his glasses. "Lay down," a voice said from above him, "Unless, of course, you would like to receive your punishment earlier."
Harry shook, "Y-yes, sir," Harry replied, he found out that the way to receive punishment was with respect.
A few hours or minutes later; Harry did not know; he was being shook. "Get up Harry," A gentle yet harsh voice said, "We have things to discuss."
Harry sat up; slowly, as glasses were put on his face. The world swam into focus. Dumbledore, Pomphrey. And, surprisingly, Snape were there.
Dumbledore continued, "Harry, why did you try to commit suicide?" he asked.
Silence.
"Harry why did you try to commit suicide?" he repeated.
Silence.
"Ok, then. Harry, did you even think of your friends or your family?"
Again, silence.
"Dammit boy, answer the questions!" Severus ordered.
A soft voice answered, "My friends are far too naïve to ever understand what goes on in my head and I have no family."
Albus, a bit shocked at Harry's answers, asked, "What about Severus, your father?"
A dead, monotone voice answered, "He is my father but not my family."
"Well, Mr. Potter, we will be back later," Albus said as he stepped away from the bed. ________________________________________________________________________
Albus stopped walking right out of Harry's earshot. "Severus, I believe Harry may have lost his mind. His answers are monotone; lifeless. It seems as if he died on the inside and his heart doesn't know his mind wants it to end."
"Albus, that is preposterous. The boy is lying. I say we should slip him some veritaserum, it will explain every thing." Severus said.
"We shall attempt that...If he finds out he will never trust us again." Albus replied and walked out of the room.
Severus muttered, "Like the boy had out trust in the first place." ________________________________________________________________________
A few hours later; Harry was already attempting to walk around the Hospital Wing, but Madam Pomphrey kept making him lay back down.
Albus walked into the room. "Ah, Poppy do you mind if I treat Mr. Potter to some tea in my office?'
"No, just make sure he doesn't over exert himself," Madame Pomphrey replied.
The walk to Albus's office was silent. Albus tried several times to engage in conversation with Harry, but Harry wouldn't speak.
Albus whispered the password to the gargoyle (Scrumdidliumptious) and entered the office. The tea was already sitting on his desk.
"Here, enjoy yourself," Albus said. Harry sipped his tea cautiously. A blank expression appeared on his face. "Is your name Harry James Potter?" Albus asked.
"Yes."
"Very well. Why did you attempt to commit suicide the other day?"
"Because I was sick of it all. Sick of being the savior of the Wizarding World. Sick of be the Boy-Who-Lived. Sick of being a murderous freak."
"Ok, what happened at the house of Mr. Vernon Dursley this summer?"
"He hurt me. He hit me. He did a lot of stuff." Harry's answers were becoming rough, he was fighting the veritaserum.
"Were you raped by Vernon Dursley many times this summer?"
There was one word until all hell broke loose in that office, "Yes." A look of dawning appeared on Harry's eyes. "W-what did you make me say?" he asked, "What did I say? What did you do?"
"You said several things but now we have to discuss a more important matter. You can no longer stay in the Griffindor Tower. You are going to stay with Professor Snape."
The words seemed to reverberate off the walls, "What?" Harry asked.
"You are going to stay with your father. You stayed with him all summer. Did you not?"
"Yes...but...I..." Harry was at a loss for words Dumbledore betrayed him.
"Ah, I understand, let's just call him down," Albus threw some sand like stuff into the fireplace and yelled, Severus Snape. Snape's head appeared in the fireplace.
"Yes Albus?" Severus asked.
"Hate to bother you but Mr. Potter here would like you to-" The office door slammed shut, "Never mind, he should be don there in a couple of minutes."
Albus leaned back in his chair. He lost Harry's trust, possibly for forever.
____________________________________________________________________________ ____
Albus was right, just minutes after Severus left the fireplace Harry walked into the room. He mumbled a quiet, "I'm going," and went into his room. He came back out a minute later and headed for the door. It was locked. He looked Severus in the eye, "Let me out."
Severus paused and examined the boy, the boy looked exhausted, "No."
"Fine," Harry said, "I'll just unlock it myself," he reached into his pocket and found...air. "Where's my wand?" he asked.
"Somewhere where a spoiled little boy can't find," Severus sneered. Harry flinched. "Albus had me confiscate it until I believe you are ready to get it back. Besides you won't want to go out there anyway. The school knows."
"Knows what?" Harry asked.
"Of your parentage. Mr. Weasley brought down your belongings and said something about 'lying dark wizards' that could live in the Slytherin rooms for all he cared," Severus sneered excitedly looking for the look of loss on Harry's face.
He saw a look like that but it was a thousand times worst. It looked as if Harry's entire world was falling down. The strict shields Harry put between him and his emotions were gone. His face showed all of his emotions. The dominant emotion was despair. Harry began muttering to himself, "See they all do hate you. They do. You freak." Harry walked into his room and sat on his bed. Repeating over and over, "They all hate you. You freak." He was so stuck in his mind; Harry didn't hear the door open and shut. ____________________________________________________________________________ ____
Severus was disturbed, he was hoping to get Harry to yell and vent out surpressed emotions but the only thing he got was proof that his child was most likely crazy. H
He stopped in front of the Slytherin Common Room. He gave the password (Potter sucks) and entered. He found who he was looking for. Draco was hidden in the shadows of the room. "Draco," Severus said, "Come with me." Without question Draco got up and followed Severus out of the room.
Severus stopped in front of the entrance to his rooms. "Draco, I need you to do something very important. This is of the up most importance, but it is absolutely confidential. Got it?"
"Yeah, but what exactly am I supposed to do?"
"I want you to convice my son that he isn't a freak and that he is sane." ____________________________________________________________________________ ____
Author's Note: .... Did you guys enjoy it? Review and tell me if I should make this a Harry/Draco slash?