Ryan, sitting in the hospital waiting room, folds his hands in prayer. God,
please, You took the baby. Please, make Theresa okay.
"You know, its better like this," she said, trying to smile. "Can you imagine us as parents? You and me? We wouldn't know who was causing more trouble, the parents or the kids."
Ryan chuckled softly, touching Theresa's cheek. "And all three of us would be going to school at the same time." he added.
"And imagine the chocolate bills!"
"And the overload of Barney songs."
"Oh man, not Barney songs."
"What then? Beyonce?"
"She does nursery rhymes now?"
"Not funny."
"We'd make our own nursery rhymes." she added enthusiastically. Blinking slowly, she realized the implactions that came with her last statement. Making their own nursery rhymes would mean having their own baby. She looked over at the newly formed from on his face. "Ryan." Again, two syllables meant a thousand things.
"You know," his voice was soft but yet rough. "the idea was just beginning to settle with me. I'd have a tough little kid to play soccer with. A gorgeous little doll who looked just like you. Something all ours- we didnt have to borrow it or take it or beg for it. It wasn't given by charity or anything. Its just you and me and..." He swallowed and looked away. Not wanting to finish his sentence, not wanting to finish his thought.
"I named her you know." Theresa began where Ryan left off. "You know how I wanted a girl. I expected a little girlie girl to dress up in fancy ruffled skirts and lots and lots of pink. I wanted her to be pefect. Not like brilliant or super talented or drop dead beautiful or anything. But perfect with the very best of me... and the very best of you..." Theresa pressed her head against the pillow. Biting her lip, she hoped that the tears that were forming in her eyes would not fall. But they did and Ryan's hand was there to wipe them away. He leaned his face closer and closer to hers, until finally they met in a soft kiss. The kissing became more and more intense, as though they poured all their emotion, their anger and grief into that one kiss.
When they finally pulled apart, they smiled. Breathing deeply, Theresa looked over at Ryan and wondered if this- their relationship- would continue, even without the baby. He rested his weight against the bed, wondering the same thing. His love for her was ever present.
"What was her name?" He finally asked, breaking the silence. Theresa closed her eyes for a moment, as if searching herself for the strength to say this name out loud. She touched the pendant at her throat- the silver lily Ryan had given her long ago to adorn her silver chain. He gave it to her as a Christmas gift, roughly shoving it into her hands while eagerly smiling to see her open it. That was two- three- it was years ago. Theresa knew that it wasn't just a pendant. It was as close to Ryan would ever come to admiting he wanted to give her his heart. Theresa's eyes opened and a sad smile formed upon her mouth. She found the answer for Ryan.
Touching the pendant once more, she spoke, "Lily."
"You know, its better like this," she said, trying to smile. "Can you imagine us as parents? You and me? We wouldn't know who was causing more trouble, the parents or the kids."
Ryan chuckled softly, touching Theresa's cheek. "And all three of us would be going to school at the same time." he added.
"And imagine the chocolate bills!"
"And the overload of Barney songs."
"Oh man, not Barney songs."
"What then? Beyonce?"
"She does nursery rhymes now?"
"Not funny."
"We'd make our own nursery rhymes." she added enthusiastically. Blinking slowly, she realized the implactions that came with her last statement. Making their own nursery rhymes would mean having their own baby. She looked over at the newly formed from on his face. "Ryan." Again, two syllables meant a thousand things.
"You know," his voice was soft but yet rough. "the idea was just beginning to settle with me. I'd have a tough little kid to play soccer with. A gorgeous little doll who looked just like you. Something all ours- we didnt have to borrow it or take it or beg for it. It wasn't given by charity or anything. Its just you and me and..." He swallowed and looked away. Not wanting to finish his sentence, not wanting to finish his thought.
"I named her you know." Theresa began where Ryan left off. "You know how I wanted a girl. I expected a little girlie girl to dress up in fancy ruffled skirts and lots and lots of pink. I wanted her to be pefect. Not like brilliant or super talented or drop dead beautiful or anything. But perfect with the very best of me... and the very best of you..." Theresa pressed her head against the pillow. Biting her lip, she hoped that the tears that were forming in her eyes would not fall. But they did and Ryan's hand was there to wipe them away. He leaned his face closer and closer to hers, until finally they met in a soft kiss. The kissing became more and more intense, as though they poured all their emotion, their anger and grief into that one kiss.
When they finally pulled apart, they smiled. Breathing deeply, Theresa looked over at Ryan and wondered if this- their relationship- would continue, even without the baby. He rested his weight against the bed, wondering the same thing. His love for her was ever present.
"What was her name?" He finally asked, breaking the silence. Theresa closed her eyes for a moment, as if searching herself for the strength to say this name out loud. She touched the pendant at her throat- the silver lily Ryan had given her long ago to adorn her silver chain. He gave it to her as a Christmas gift, roughly shoving it into her hands while eagerly smiling to see her open it. That was two- three- it was years ago. Theresa knew that it wasn't just a pendant. It was as close to Ryan would ever come to admiting he wanted to give her his heart. Theresa's eyes opened and a sad smile formed upon her mouth. She found the answer for Ryan.
Touching the pendant once more, she spoke, "Lily."