The Trials of Seven
By: ChocolateEclar
Disclaimer: I do not own, nor am I receiving any profit from, the story this fanfic is based on. The Great Diana Wynne Jones has the pleasure of owning Archer's Goon.
Claimer: I simply own the plot and my personification of Archer, Shine, Dillian, Hathaway, Torquil, Erskine, and Venturus's parents, Matri and Agustivo Destinatus, and their home planet, Caliga.
To Kagome Sengoku: That twist took quite awhile to be written properly. (laughs) Thanks for reviewing! Time to find out what happens next…
To ArtemisObscure: You should definitely read Archer's Goon. It's excellent and full of DWJ's usual great twists. There's a huge twist at the end… Hehe. But I won't say. Reading this fanfic might've given it away though. Thanks for reviewing! I can understand why you got so lost. Read AG!
Chapter 5: Going Back
"What are you doing?" Erskine asked Venturus a year after they had been exiled to Earth.
"I'm finishing a small model of the spaceship I'm going to make someday," Venturus replied, holding a little slender model of a shiny blue color on the palm of his hand. He opened it up to display the little controls on the inside. "I just press this button here and…" The mini spaceship closed and launched out of his hands. Laughing, Venturus continued, "And it flies."
The model spaceship whizzed past Erskine's head and landed back down on the table. "I programmed it," Venturus explained proudly. "The real thing will have even more features. Stored gold bullion, red carpet on all sides, furnishings, et cetera."
"What do you think?" he asked Erskine, picking up the model and pressing it in between his palm so that it compacted into roughly the shape of a sardine can.
"Not bad. What you always wanted since you were little," said Erskine.
Venturus nodded as he slipped the mini spaceship into the pocket of his baggy denim coat. "Now what are you doing here?" he asked, peering levelly at his brother.
"Archer wants us," Erskine answered.
"For what?" Venturus casually asked.
"Don't know," replied Erskine, shrugging. They walked side-by-side, hands in their pockets.
Venturus shifted his head to glower at Erskine. "You just let him push you around. What if he wants us to deal with Shine and Dillian's quarrelling over robbing and protecting his banks again? You remember that, don't you? Shine almost shot me, and you were tricked by Dillian to stay too long to help me!"
"Dillian doesn't like you much."
"No? Really? Sometimes I wonder about that brain of yours, Erskine…"
"Now," proclaimed Torquil in the present, waving his crozier about, "the meeting of the Younger Four shall come to order." To Howard's amusement, Torquil was adorned in a long-sleeved navy blue Japanese kimono.
Erskine, Torquil, and Howard were crammed around the cupboard in the vestry of the cathedral where Hathaway could be seen in his study. "You know," Torquil continued, "we need a proper name."
"We've always been the Younger Four whenever Archer, Dillian, and Shine weren't around," pointed out Hathaway amusedly. "With them, we were, of course, The Seven."
"Get on with it," grumbled Erskine, His sunburnt nose and neck were peeling, giving him a smarting pain.
Howard nodded. Awful had wanted to see Hathaway so badly she had tried to convince them to take her by being good. When that didn't work, she became violently sick over the kitchen floor to spite them. Quentin made her help them clean it up when he arrived home from the Poly, and, in the end, Awful didn't want to go.
"Well," Hathaway said. "We all know the facts. Now, we need to decide what to do about this."
"Do you think our parents are watching us themselves though?" asked Howard.
"It's unlikely," agreed Torquil. "They must have someone doing it. Perhaps someone else's exiled child?"
"Hmm," mumbled Hathaway thoughtfully. There came a knock on the door of his study, so he said, "One moment," and disappeared from view.
Howard could hear Hathaway talking with Anne in the heavy accent of the past that Howard couldn't understand. Hathaway reappeared in a few moments though with a slight smile. "My William seems to have gotten his head stuck in between the railing of a staircase," he explained with a laugh.
"Didn't you do that once?" Torquil asked Erskine.
"Couldn't've. Head too big," pointed out Erskine. "Was Venturus."
"Of course," Torquil said, grinning. He sobered immediately though and grumbled, "Back to business, gentlemen. What are we going to do?"
"We could try looking for the person whose watching us," remarked Howard.
"Yes, let's look for every suspicious person in this town," mocked Torquil sardonically.
"It's better than sitting here and waiting," said Howard.
"I –" began Torquil.
"Enough," snapped Erskine. "Need to act as normal as possible. If we don't, Archer, Dillian, and Shine are going to fry us."
Sighing, Hathaway said, "You know you're welcome here if things go amiss."
Torquil nodded wearily, running a hand through his hair. Howard rested his chin on his knuckle, pondering. If they failed, the Sykes would have to come with them to the past too or Archer, Shine, and Dillian would be after them as well.
Or they could make a plea with their parents on Caliga?
"That would really go against our exile," muttered Torquil.
"Not if you three didn't go," Howard pointed out.
"What?" Erskine asked.
"I get it!" Hathaway exclaimed. "Howard and the Sykes could go!"
"But they'll know Howard's Venturus," Erskine said.
"Not unless the limpet makes it obvious," said Torquil, banging his crozier on the cupboard enthusiastically.
"Might have defenses against that deception," Erskine noted.
"Might not," stated Hathaway with a smile.
"They would have to state our case before the High Union," Torquil realized.
"Do you think you can do that, Howard?" Hathaway asked earnestly. He was leaning towards them on his desk so that his nose was nearly pressed to the window in the wall.
"We will help you, of course, dear limpet," Torquil added grandly.
"Do it, Howard?" asked Erskine.
Sighing, Howard nodded. "I have to. It's the only chance we have."
As a result, as the other three packed, Awful was seen bouncing around the house on Upper Park Street the following day. Torquil and Erskine were in the kitchen meanwhile; the former was sipping tea anxiously, while the latter picked at his fingernails with his knife.
When Awful accidentally knocked a plastic picture frame off the piano in the living room, it landed on the keys with a clang! Torquil jumped, spilling half his cup of tea on his King Arthur get-up. He dabbed at the chain mail with a napkin, while rearranging the gold crown on his head.
Howard was in his bedroom, collecting anything he thought they might need – pencil and a notepad to keep him amused in the calm moments, a book on spaceships, his toothbrush and toothpaste, clothes…
Howard had to sit on his suitcase to shut it and clamp the latches down. He then dragged it out of his room and down the stairs. With each thump on every other step, Torquil tipped out more tea, until he was mopping it off the table. "This place is stifling me!" he announced dramatically. Erskine gave him a dry look and returned to his fingernails.
"Now," said Quentin an hour later, "I have prepared a speech. Tell me what you alien wizards and women think."
All but Quentin sat at the kitchen table. Quentin stood beside them. He took a deep breath and began, "Mr. Supreme Councilman, Madam Supreme Councilwoman, Council, we have come from Earth as representatives of the exiled there. We must reassure you that the removal of Archer, Shine, and Dillian was better for the planet and it's inhabitants…"
Not bad, thought Howard towards the end of the speech. It had been a good idea to have Quentin write what they would say. He knew about people. Hopefully, it would be enough.
"Well done, Mr. Sykes," called a voice from the plughole of the sink.
"Hathaway!" shrieked Awful, hopping to her feet and leaning over the opening.
"Argh. Good to hear you too, little madam," came Hathaway's voice. "Are all of you ready?"
"As ready as we'll ever be," replied Howard.
"Good luck to all of you tomorrow," Hathaway said.
"I think I may go mad with the wait for you all to return," grumbled Torquil.
"Hear the whole thing through Howard though," Erskine pointed out. Torquil groaned in response.
"Will they kill us if they find out Howard is Venturus?" Awful queried, grinning.
"Awful," groaned Catriona.
Torquil looked up at Awful with a strange mixture of amusement and disgust. "My dear girl, must you be so morbid?"
"Just asking. Answer my question," insisted Awful.
It was Howard who responded. "No. They'll send us back and vote in Archer, Dillian, and Shine's favor."
"Then, we'll die if those three return," grumbled Torquil. "Cheery thoughts, anyone?"
A/N: I know the wait was long and this chapter is a bit short, but I thought that would be the best place to end this chapter. Please review! Bye.