"Hey Sandy." Ryan sounded cheerful on the phone to his guardian. Sandy, who
had spent the better part of the past twelve hours constantly checking his
phone to see if Ryan had called, breathed a sigh of relief at hearing the
boy's voice. More than that, he was startled at the happy tone. Was this
the same boy that was almost in tears in the hospital?
"Sandy, are you there?"
"I'm here, kiddo. What's going on?" Sandy sounded like the calm and collected adult that he was supposed to be, but really, he clutched his cellphone so tightly with nervousness his knuckles were turning white.
"Can Theresa and I come for dinner?" Of all the things Sandy had expected Ryan to say, this was the last on his list. If Ryan asked for money to pay the hospital bill, or a recommendation for a better doctor, or... just not this. This was too normal. Far too normal for two kids who had just suffered a miscarriage.
"Are you sure?" Immediately Sandy regretted the question.
"Uh, if it's inconvenient for you than we-"
"Nonsense." the guardian interrupted. "Be at the house around seven, okay?"
"Okay." a smile spread across Ryan's lips. "Thanks. Bye." And the line went dead. Sandy sat, nestled in the soft pillows of his couch, wondering how and why Ryan seemed so okay in such a short amount of time. He stared off into space, his vision clouded as he sat fixated on the blank screen of the television in front of him. The sounds of his wife sipping an afternoon coffee in the kitchen seemed miles away and her voice was nothing but a blaring horn of sound.
"Dad, who was that?" Seth asks accusingly. "Dad?" Noticing his father's lack of attention, he stands up indignant. "I cant believe you." He says under his breath as he rushes out of the family room and into his room. There is a continued silence as Kirsten continues sippin her coffee and her husband continues staring into nowhere.
Finally, he turns to look at his obviously worried wife. "That was Ryan. Kirsten, he's bring Theresa here for dinner. Tonight."
XXX
Back at home, Ryan touches Theresa's face for the millionth time since they have been laying in bed. His skin is rough, but the way he touches her is so gentle, it's like a butterfly's wings brushing against Theresa's skin. She looks at him, her head has not moved from the safet of his chest since she left the hospital. They both know that they can't afford to miss work anymore, but she enjoys this too much. Playing hooky with Ryan. It's just like a year ago. A year before he left. When he left and didn't even call.
"You suck." she thought out loud. Her voice was an intrusion on the stillness of their bedroom. Ryan, who has been lying back resting against the pillows, now sits up rigidly causing Theresa's head to roll from his chest to his lap. She turns slowly to look up at his face, searching for his expression, piecing together an explanation in her mind.
"Sorry." he mumbles, touching her face yet again. "What did you just say?" He helps to pull her up, so she is sitting in front of him. His legs outside her legs, his chest pressed to her back, his chin on her shoulder, his lips by her neck. Tingles trickle down Theresa's back as his hot breath makes contact with her skin.
"Just thinking. About last year." she begins. "It was all so simple, remember? You and me and the nothing to do. Then you disappeared. And it was just me. Now, its you and me and things are so..."
"Different?" he supplied, noticing her loss for words.
"Exactly."
And an awkward hush takes over. Their bodies are pressed to one another, and still they are barely connecting. Ryan snakes his arm around her waist, and lands his palm gently on her abdomen. It is still slightly swollen- a sign of what was there only a day before. He feels her body move against her chest, her ribcage rises as she takes a sudden breath. She leans her face to the side, her cheek mashing against his face. His lips graze her skin and he begins to trail soft kisses along her jawline. Before long, he notices that she's crying.
"Shhh," he coos. "Theresa, don't. You said you were done crying."
Theresa turns to face him, looking straight into his eyes. His round face seemed to be without expression, eyes wide staring back at her. In her eyes, he sees only sadness. But it is not the harsh grief he had seen the day before, but instead lonely rings of brown.
"Ryan." The tone of her voice warns that unpleasant words are to come. He holds her closer to him, hoping to ease the unhappiness out of her. "I know you came here just cause of the baby. I could tell... you loved Marissa. And she seemed to love you too."
"Theresa. Don't." Ryan snaps. "Marissa and I a-"
"And I really appreciate that you came here but I know nothing will ever go back to the way it was." Her lip begins to tremble and more large glistening tears tumble of her face, staining tear drops unto Ryan's shirt. "I love you, Ryan. And-"She can't finish. He has tilted her chin upwards and kissed her forcefully on the mouth. He kisses her more and more, thinking of every sadness and unhappiness the two of them have faced together. So concentrated on his thoughts of her, Ryan doesn't even notice that she's not kissing back.
"I love you too." He mumbles into her lips. Looking at him, she notices that he is full of passion but it turns into discontentment and surprise as she softly shoves him off her.
"Ryan." She apologetically says. "I love you and I know you love me." She closes her eyes because she cannot bear to see his reaction to her next statement. "But we can't be together." Still refusing to look at him, she continues. "You have this great new life in Newport with that perfect family in that beautiful pool house and that great school. And you're going to do great things, Ryan. I know you. But I'm here and I've got Arturo and my mom to look out for. This is my life with my family, Ryan. You've got to go back to Newport to yours."
"My life is where I am. And I'm here. Now." He kisses her cheek softly. "With you."
"Life is where your family is. We were going to have one but now we're not. So I'm going to stay here with my family. And you're going to Newport to your new one." She explained.
"Family?" Ryan said.
"Yeah, Ryan. That's what the Cohens are to you."
"Sandy, are you there?"
"I'm here, kiddo. What's going on?" Sandy sounded like the calm and collected adult that he was supposed to be, but really, he clutched his cellphone so tightly with nervousness his knuckles were turning white.
"Can Theresa and I come for dinner?" Of all the things Sandy had expected Ryan to say, this was the last on his list. If Ryan asked for money to pay the hospital bill, or a recommendation for a better doctor, or... just not this. This was too normal. Far too normal for two kids who had just suffered a miscarriage.
"Are you sure?" Immediately Sandy regretted the question.
"Uh, if it's inconvenient for you than we-"
"Nonsense." the guardian interrupted. "Be at the house around seven, okay?"
"Okay." a smile spread across Ryan's lips. "Thanks. Bye." And the line went dead. Sandy sat, nestled in the soft pillows of his couch, wondering how and why Ryan seemed so okay in such a short amount of time. He stared off into space, his vision clouded as he sat fixated on the blank screen of the television in front of him. The sounds of his wife sipping an afternoon coffee in the kitchen seemed miles away and her voice was nothing but a blaring horn of sound.
"Dad, who was that?" Seth asks accusingly. "Dad?" Noticing his father's lack of attention, he stands up indignant. "I cant believe you." He says under his breath as he rushes out of the family room and into his room. There is a continued silence as Kirsten continues sippin her coffee and her husband continues staring into nowhere.
Finally, he turns to look at his obviously worried wife. "That was Ryan. Kirsten, he's bring Theresa here for dinner. Tonight."
XXX
Back at home, Ryan touches Theresa's face for the millionth time since they have been laying in bed. His skin is rough, but the way he touches her is so gentle, it's like a butterfly's wings brushing against Theresa's skin. She looks at him, her head has not moved from the safet of his chest since she left the hospital. They both know that they can't afford to miss work anymore, but she enjoys this too much. Playing hooky with Ryan. It's just like a year ago. A year before he left. When he left and didn't even call.
"You suck." she thought out loud. Her voice was an intrusion on the stillness of their bedroom. Ryan, who has been lying back resting against the pillows, now sits up rigidly causing Theresa's head to roll from his chest to his lap. She turns slowly to look up at his face, searching for his expression, piecing together an explanation in her mind.
"Sorry." he mumbles, touching her face yet again. "What did you just say?" He helps to pull her up, so she is sitting in front of him. His legs outside her legs, his chest pressed to her back, his chin on her shoulder, his lips by her neck. Tingles trickle down Theresa's back as his hot breath makes contact with her skin.
"Just thinking. About last year." she begins. "It was all so simple, remember? You and me and the nothing to do. Then you disappeared. And it was just me. Now, its you and me and things are so..."
"Different?" he supplied, noticing her loss for words.
"Exactly."
And an awkward hush takes over. Their bodies are pressed to one another, and still they are barely connecting. Ryan snakes his arm around her waist, and lands his palm gently on her abdomen. It is still slightly swollen- a sign of what was there only a day before. He feels her body move against her chest, her ribcage rises as she takes a sudden breath. She leans her face to the side, her cheek mashing against his face. His lips graze her skin and he begins to trail soft kisses along her jawline. Before long, he notices that she's crying.
"Shhh," he coos. "Theresa, don't. You said you were done crying."
Theresa turns to face him, looking straight into his eyes. His round face seemed to be without expression, eyes wide staring back at her. In her eyes, he sees only sadness. But it is not the harsh grief he had seen the day before, but instead lonely rings of brown.
"Ryan." The tone of her voice warns that unpleasant words are to come. He holds her closer to him, hoping to ease the unhappiness out of her. "I know you came here just cause of the baby. I could tell... you loved Marissa. And she seemed to love you too."
"Theresa. Don't." Ryan snaps. "Marissa and I a-"
"And I really appreciate that you came here but I know nothing will ever go back to the way it was." Her lip begins to tremble and more large glistening tears tumble of her face, staining tear drops unto Ryan's shirt. "I love you, Ryan. And-"She can't finish. He has tilted her chin upwards and kissed her forcefully on the mouth. He kisses her more and more, thinking of every sadness and unhappiness the two of them have faced together. So concentrated on his thoughts of her, Ryan doesn't even notice that she's not kissing back.
"I love you too." He mumbles into her lips. Looking at him, she notices that he is full of passion but it turns into discontentment and surprise as she softly shoves him off her.
"Ryan." She apologetically says. "I love you and I know you love me." She closes her eyes because she cannot bear to see his reaction to her next statement. "But we can't be together." Still refusing to look at him, she continues. "You have this great new life in Newport with that perfect family in that beautiful pool house and that great school. And you're going to do great things, Ryan. I know you. But I'm here and I've got Arturo and my mom to look out for. This is my life with my family, Ryan. You've got to go back to Newport to yours."
"My life is where I am. And I'm here. Now." He kisses her cheek softly. "With you."
"Life is where your family is. We were going to have one but now we're not. So I'm going to stay here with my family. And you're going to Newport to your new one." She explained.
"Family?" Ryan said.
"Yeah, Ryan. That's what the Cohens are to you."