Chapter 4
Malfoy charged into the corridor of his Mansion. Peter was waiting outside the drawing room.
"I cannot believe this. He drags me all the way up there to play about the weakest practical joke since Dobby the house-elf stood in a pot with his arms up pretending to be a pot-plant," Malfoy growled.
Macnair emerged from the drawing room and embraced Malfoy emotionally.
"Lucius, oh Lucius, I have awaited your return," Macnair said nearly sobbing.
"And thank Merlin you did, for I was just thinking, 'By Merlin, I die in twelve hours. What I really need now is a hug from a complete prat'," Malfoy hissed.
Malfoy pushed Macnair away, went into the room and poured himself a glass of Firewhiskey.
"But fear not, for I have a plan to save the life of my dear, dear friend," Macnair said as he followed Malfoy in the room.
"Look, I'm not interested in your bloody friends. What about me?" Malfoy said.
Macnair was under the impression that Malfoy was joking and said, "Ha Ha, not bad, Lucius, that's a good one."
"Oh, all right then. What's your big plan, blockhead?" Malfoy sighed.
"I intend to discover, this very afternoon, the secret of alchemy, the hidden art of turning base things into ... gold," Macnair said.
"I see. And the fact that this secret has eluded the most intelligent wizards since the dawn of time doesn't dampen your spirits?" Malfoy sneered.
"Oh no. I like a challenge," Macnair said hopeful before he strode out.
"Wormtail, I lost the 85 Sickles. The grave opens up before me like a ... big hole in the ground," Malfoy said.
"I did have one idea, Master, but... no... it's stupid," Wormtail said and turned around.
"What is it?" Malfoy insisted.
"Well, I have heard there is good money to be made down the docks, doing favours for sailors," Wormtail explained.
"Favours. What do you mean? Mending bones, delivering messages, that kind of thing?" Malfoy asked confused.
"Not quite," Wormtail said.
"Wormtail?" Malfoy said menacingly as he began to understand things.
"Master?" Wormtail replied as he took a step back.
"Are you suggesting that I become... a rent boy?" Malfoy hissed.
"Well, a good-looking bloke like you; posh accent, fancy robes, stunning cane, could make a bomb. Just stick a pink carnation in your hair and make the old sign," Wormtail explained.
"I'd rather die," Malfoy growled.
"Oh, fair enough, that's all right then. I'll put the kettle on while we wait shall I?" Wormtail said casually.
Wormtail, turned around and made his way to the door when Malfoy reached out to stop him.
"With a slight alteration, your sick and sordid plan might... just... work," Malfoy smirked.
Wormtail was dressed up tartily. He was pretty nervous and leaned against the wall. He had a pink carnation in his hair and carried a big sign. 'Get it here' was written on the side and magically changed colours. A huge bearded sailor approached. Malfoy was hidden underneath an invisibility cloak.
"Give me a kiss, I'll give you a Knut," he said.
Malfoy pops out from underneath the cloak.
"One Knut?" Malfoy said.
"All right. A Sickle," the sailor said.
"All right, go on," Malfoy said and pulled the cloak up again.
"Nothing fancy, just a peck. I miss me mum, you see. When I was a little kid, my mother always used to..." the sailor continued.
Malfoy popped up again and sneered, "Get a move on, he's a prostitute, not an agony aunt."
"Oh, come on, please, just a peck on the cheek and say 'There, there Hagrid. Mummy kiss it better and you shall have a story," Hagrid said.
"Well, I don't know. Do you do requests, Wormtail?" Malfoy asked.
"What... kinky stuff? Yeah, I'm game," Wormtail said with a smile.
"Please, I miss my mother. I mean, she was like a mother to me..." Hagrid said, tears rolling down his beard.
"Oh, all right. Go on, Wormtail," Malfoy sighed and disappeared beneath the cloak again.
"I've forgotten what I'm supposed to say," Wormtail whispered and the direction where Malfoy stood.
Malfoy reappeared, took the sign from Wormtail and shoved him out of his way.
"Oh get out of the way, I'll do it. There, there, Hagrid," Malfoy said as he gave him a peck on the cheek, "Mummy kiss it better and you shall have a story."
"What kind of story?" Hagrid asked with a grin on his face.
"I don't know. One about a goblin, I suppose," Malfoy replied.
A little later, Hagrid stood with his arms around Malfoy and Wormtail.
"... and then Gary the Goblin went..." Malfoy said.
"Gnaw, gnaw, gnaw," Wormtail and Hagrid said together.
"And they all went home for tea," Malfoy finished.
"Oh thanks very much, me old shivering mateys. That was wonderful," Hagrid said as he put down his arms. He turned towards Malfoy, "Now then, what do you charge for a good, hard shag."
Malfoy paused for a few seconds then said, "A thousand Galleons."
"A thousand Galleons! You've got to be joking!" Hagrid roared.
"Well, I'm sure we could negotiate," Malfoy said as he threw the sign back at Wormtail. Hagrid winked at Wormtail.
Malfoy charged into the corridor of his Mansion. Peter was waiting outside the drawing room.
"I cannot believe this. He drags me all the way up there to play about the weakest practical joke since Dobby the house-elf stood in a pot with his arms up pretending to be a pot-plant," Malfoy growled.
Macnair emerged from the drawing room and embraced Malfoy emotionally.
"Lucius, oh Lucius, I have awaited your return," Macnair said nearly sobbing.
"And thank Merlin you did, for I was just thinking, 'By Merlin, I die in twelve hours. What I really need now is a hug from a complete prat'," Malfoy hissed.
Malfoy pushed Macnair away, went into the room and poured himself a glass of Firewhiskey.
"But fear not, for I have a plan to save the life of my dear, dear friend," Macnair said as he followed Malfoy in the room.
"Look, I'm not interested in your bloody friends. What about me?" Malfoy said.
Macnair was under the impression that Malfoy was joking and said, "Ha Ha, not bad, Lucius, that's a good one."
"Oh, all right then. What's your big plan, blockhead?" Malfoy sighed.
"I intend to discover, this very afternoon, the secret of alchemy, the hidden art of turning base things into ... gold," Macnair said.
"I see. And the fact that this secret has eluded the most intelligent wizards since the dawn of time doesn't dampen your spirits?" Malfoy sneered.
"Oh no. I like a challenge," Macnair said hopeful before he strode out.
"Wormtail, I lost the 85 Sickles. The grave opens up before me like a ... big hole in the ground," Malfoy said.
"I did have one idea, Master, but... no... it's stupid," Wormtail said and turned around.
"What is it?" Malfoy insisted.
"Well, I have heard there is good money to be made down the docks, doing favours for sailors," Wormtail explained.
"Favours. What do you mean? Mending bones, delivering messages, that kind of thing?" Malfoy asked confused.
"Not quite," Wormtail said.
"Wormtail?" Malfoy said menacingly as he began to understand things.
"Master?" Wormtail replied as he took a step back.
"Are you suggesting that I become... a rent boy?" Malfoy hissed.
"Well, a good-looking bloke like you; posh accent, fancy robes, stunning cane, could make a bomb. Just stick a pink carnation in your hair and make the old sign," Wormtail explained.
"I'd rather die," Malfoy growled.
"Oh, fair enough, that's all right then. I'll put the kettle on while we wait shall I?" Wormtail said casually.
Wormtail, turned around and made his way to the door when Malfoy reached out to stop him.
"With a slight alteration, your sick and sordid plan might... just... work," Malfoy smirked.
Wormtail was dressed up tartily. He was pretty nervous and leaned against the wall. He had a pink carnation in his hair and carried a big sign. 'Get it here' was written on the side and magically changed colours. A huge bearded sailor approached. Malfoy was hidden underneath an invisibility cloak.
"Give me a kiss, I'll give you a Knut," he said.
Malfoy pops out from underneath the cloak.
"One Knut?" Malfoy said.
"All right. A Sickle," the sailor said.
"All right, go on," Malfoy said and pulled the cloak up again.
"Nothing fancy, just a peck. I miss me mum, you see. When I was a little kid, my mother always used to..." the sailor continued.
Malfoy popped up again and sneered, "Get a move on, he's a prostitute, not an agony aunt."
"Oh, come on, please, just a peck on the cheek and say 'There, there Hagrid. Mummy kiss it better and you shall have a story," Hagrid said.
"Well, I don't know. Do you do requests, Wormtail?" Malfoy asked.
"What... kinky stuff? Yeah, I'm game," Wormtail said with a smile.
"Please, I miss my mother. I mean, she was like a mother to me..." Hagrid said, tears rolling down his beard.
"Oh, all right. Go on, Wormtail," Malfoy sighed and disappeared beneath the cloak again.
"I've forgotten what I'm supposed to say," Wormtail whispered and the direction where Malfoy stood.
Malfoy reappeared, took the sign from Wormtail and shoved him out of his way.
"Oh get out of the way, I'll do it. There, there, Hagrid," Malfoy said as he gave him a peck on the cheek, "Mummy kiss it better and you shall have a story."
"What kind of story?" Hagrid asked with a grin on his face.
"I don't know. One about a goblin, I suppose," Malfoy replied.
A little later, Hagrid stood with his arms around Malfoy and Wormtail.
"... and then Gary the Goblin went..." Malfoy said.
"Gnaw, gnaw, gnaw," Wormtail and Hagrid said together.
"And they all went home for tea," Malfoy finished.
"Oh thanks very much, me old shivering mateys. That was wonderful," Hagrid said as he put down his arms. He turned towards Malfoy, "Now then, what do you charge for a good, hard shag."
Malfoy paused for a few seconds then said, "A thousand Galleons."
"A thousand Galleons! You've got to be joking!" Hagrid roared.
"Well, I'm sure we could negotiate," Malfoy said as he threw the sign back at Wormtail. Hagrid winked at Wormtail.