Malfoy entered the room, closely followed by a couple.
"...and this is the drawing room," Malfoy informed the potential buyers.
"Ooh, dear," Mrs Weasly said as she was observing the room.
"But I have to tell you, Mr. Weasly, that I've had an extremely encouraging nibble from another client, and I think you know me well enough to know that I'm not the sort of man to ignore a nibble for long," Malfoy said
"I noticed some dry rot in the bedrooms, Arthur," Mrs Weasly remarked.
"Well, Mrs. Weasley, dry rot is what dry rot does," Malfoy sneered.
He turned to Mr. Weasly and said; "Stop me if I'm getting too technical."
"And the floor are perhaps a little uneven," Mrs Weasly said.
"Indeed yes, Madam, and at no extra cost!" Malfoy said.
"Strange smell," Mrs Weasly said as she pulled up her nose.
"Yes, that's the servant; he'll be gone," Malfoy replied.
"You've really worked out your banter, haven't you?" Mr. Weasly said.
"No, not really. This is a different thing. It's spontaneous and it's called wit'." Malfoy sneered.
"What about the privies," Mrs. Weasly asked.
"When the master wizard who created this home was looking at the sewage, he said to himself, "Romeo," -- for 'twas his name -- "Romeo, let's make them functional, comfortable and exquisite," Malfoy informed the couple.
"Oh, well, that seems nice, doesn't it, dear?" Mr. Weasly cheered.
"I think we understand each other, sir. So it's sold, then," Malfoy said as he poured out two drinks, "Drink?"
"What about the privies?" Mrs. Weasly insisted.
"Well, what we're talking about in, erm, privy terms is the very latest in wide, expensive lavatory bowls with fresh-air orifices, combined with a soft seat below,"
"You mean you crap in golden pots," Mrs. Weasly said.
"Yes!" Malfoy growled.
"Well! In that case, we'll definitely take it! I can't stand those dirty porcelain things," Mrs. Weasly roared.
An hour later, Lucius Malfoy was sitting at his desk, counting all the gold. Macnair, sat at the other side of the desk, observing his master.
"There, that's the lot. He only wanted to pay a thousand, but I managed to beat him up to eleven hundred," Malfoy smirked.
"Oh, Lucius, you wily old trickster, you!" Macnair said.
"Oh, credit where credit's due -- I just named the price; it was Wormtail who actually beat him up," Malfoy said smiling.
As Macnair nodded, Malfoy looked up from his gold.
"Macnair, what is that on the front of your tunic?" Malfoy asked with an arched eyebrow.
"Ah! 'tis a brooch, Master -- a brooch cunningly fashioned from pure green," Macnair replied beaming.
"It looks like you've sneezed," Malfoy sneered.
"It is with trinkets such as this brooch, and here, a ring, that I intend to revive your fortunes and buy back your house!" said Macnair, still rather proud of his achievements.
"You think there's a big market for jewellery that looks like snot, then?" Malfoy sighed.
"Master!" Macnair said upset.
"The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr. Brain has long since departed, hasn't he, Macnair," Malfoy sneered.
At this point, another messenger enters. He takes off his hat and bows.
"Ah, messenger, thank Merlin you came. Macnair and I could not have waited another second without you," Malfoy hissed.
Malfoy sprinted up the corridors and burst through the doors off his Master's accommodation. Voldemort, Bellatrix and Fudge were hunched over a large desk in the far corner. "My Lord," Malfoy said taking a bow once more.
"Thank Merlin you've arrived -- terrible news Lucius," Voldemort said.
"What?" Malfoy asked stunned.
"The Muggles intend to invade, Malfoy," Fudge said.
"By Merlin," Malfoy said in shock.
"So I need some money," Voldemort said.
Malfoy feared the worst and fell onto his Master's throne.
"Yes, every pureblood must pay 500 pounds towards the upkeep of the troops," Fugde explained.
"But we've decided to make you a special case," Voldemort said.
"Oh thank you my Lord," Malfoy said as he straightened up in the throne.
"Fudgie here hasn't got a bean, so we thought, as you're so fabulously wealthy, you could pay for both!" Voldemort cheered.
"It would be awfully sweet of you," Fudge said.
"Yes, well, unfortunately, my Lord, I'm in the middle of a cash-flow crisis and I just haven't got any money on me!" Malfoy said as he shifted uncomfortable in his chair.
"But, Lucius," Voldemort said looking down on him.
Malfoy realized that he was sitting in the throne. He thought that this was what he was addressing him about. He stood up and moved across to his proper place.
"... what's that in your robes?" Voldemort said. He pointed his long finger at Malfoy's groin.
"Oh, by Merlin," Malfoy replied as he took out a pouch from his robes. "It looks like... just over a thousand Galleons!" Voldemort cheered.
"So it is," Malfoy replied, in an attempt to look casually.
"I thought you said you didn't have any," Voldemort said suspiciously.
"Oh, I thought you meant real money. This is just a bit of loose change. I must have left it in my robes when I sent these to the house-elves," Malfoy replied.
"Gosh, a thousand Galleons just loose in your robes... OK, hand it over," Voldemort said as he reached out his hand. Malfoy handed him the pouch of gold.
"Thanks, bye," Voldemort said before he returned to the table.
"Well, goodbye indeed. 'bye, my Lord. Goodbye, Fudge. Goodbye, Bellatrix. Byeee...,"
Malfoy said melancholic as he left the room and shut the doors. As soon as Malfoy had left, Fudge ran over to the doors, peeked between them to make sure that he was gone. He turned around and fell on the floor roaring with laughter. Voldemort started to cackle and Bellatrix followed.
"Silly old Lucius! He was completely fooled! That was a brilliant joke, Fudgie!" Voldemort laughed.
"Brilliant my Lord," Fudge stated.
"And now I'm going to curse you," Voldemort said in a serious tone.
"M – M – My Lord?" Fudge stammered.
"It's for taking the mickey out of my faithful Lucius so cruelly. I'm gonna blast your block off," Voldemort hissed.
"But, Master, I only intended to please! Oh, please! I so want to live!!!" Fudge begged.
Voldemort slowly broke out into laughter. Fudge understood that it was a joke and started to laugh forcedly.
"Praise Merlin for the gift of laughter!" Fudge said slightly uncomfortable.