Fifteen minutes later, the Eds were still seated at the booth, still without customers.  Edd glanced at Eddy, but he was frozen in place, the fixed grin on his face a clear sign that it hadn't even occurred to him that Nazz might never arrive.  There was no point trying to convince him otherwise, Edd knew; some lessons could only be learned firsthand. 

And so, they waited. A few lonely crickets chirped.

"Hey guys, listen to this!  HALLO!"

"HALLO!…Hallo!…Hallo…hallo…"

"Cool echo, huh!"

"Shut up, Ed."

They continued to wait.  The sun went down.

"Oh, let's just go home, Eddy, it must be ten o'clock at least!"

"No way, this is perfect – don't you see, Double-D?  Nazz was just waiting for it to get dark out – you know, so it'll be more romantic!"

"…of course, Eddy…"

The waiting dragged on.  New crickets arrived to relieve the first shift.

"Boy, she must be really going all out to get herself ready for me!"

"Ooh, maybe she is teaching her canary to say your name!"

"Shut up, Ed."

"Listen!  There is that echo again!"

Still they waited.  The sun came back up and reached its noontime position once more.

"Ed, are you sure you put the sign on right?  Maybe it's backwards or – "

"Oh, for crying out loud, Eddy!"  Edd jumped to his feet.  "Heed the clichéd cartoon devices and face up to the fact that Nazz simply isn't coming!" He paused as chirping filled the air once more; reaching up, he gently removed a cricket from his hat and set it on the ground.  "I mean, really, what will it take for you to see the truth?!  Would perhaps a tumblew—aigh!"  He was cut off as a well-timed tumbleweed suddenly bowled him over.

"Ed-boy!"  Rolf followed closely behind the tumbleweed, stomping over to snatch it off of Edd.  "Why do you dampen the fruits of Rolf's hullabaloo with your soggy buffoonery?"  He seized Edd by the hat and thrust the tumbleweed in his face.  "The Tossing of the Hairball has just begun and already you have dented the honored Sphere of Facial Tweezings!"

"Forgive me, Rolf, I certainly hadn't meant – "  Edd paused, horror slowly dawning on him as he eyed the…thing…held inches away from his face.  "Did you say…f-facial tweezings?"

"All from Nana's flabby second chin!  Impressive, yes?"  Rolf proudly spun the 'tumbleweed' on one finger.  "Tell Rolf, can the elders of the How-Smart-Am-I Ed-boy produce such a fine harvest?"  He nodded smugly at Edd's expression.  "Rolf can see that you are shamed by your ancestors' inadequacies – but do not weep over spilled eels!"   He dumped him back on the ground and cast a good-natured look around at all three Eds.  "Come, you and your sad-sack playfellows may join in the – "

"Yo, Rolf, you comin' back or what?"  At that point Kevin strode over, the rest of the cul-de-sac kids trailing behind.  "My team's only down by two, get the 'ball' and – Oh."  His eyes narrowed as he caught sight of the Eds.  "I should've known you dorks were holding things up."  He flicked a glance over the sign on Eddy's booth and gave a snorting laugh.  "Eddy's House of Good Kissin'?  Man, just when I thought you couldn't get any lamer!"

"Laugh it up, Chuckles – you'll see just how lame we can get when Nazz gets here!"

Edd pulled his hat down over his reddening face.  "Dishearteningly well-put, Eddy..."

But neither Eddy nor Kevin was listening, for at that moment a new distraction had arrived.  "HEY!"  Knocking the other kids out of the way, Sarah stormed over to Rolf with Jimmy clinging to her sleeve.  "Jimmy says this heat's bad for his pores!  Are we gonna finish this stupid game soon or – what the heck is that?"  She glared at the sign on Eddy's booth.  "ED!!!  What're you and your stupid friends doing now?"

But Ed had already jumped into his own jacket pocket, from which a muffled "It wasn't me, Sarah!" could now be heard.  Edd cleared his throat and stepped forward.

"Well, Sarah, our ploy du-jour is – "  His eyes ringed up as he realized who he was talking to.  "Uh-hh…"  He glanced back at the sign above the booth and gulped.  "H-heh, that is – you see, what w-we've – oof!"  He suddenly went flying as Eddy shoved him aside.

"Outta the way, Sock-head, you're screwing up the pitch!"  Batting away the pained stars that rose from Edd's general direction, Eddy jumped onto the counter, slid across on one knee, then hopped down to land squarely in front of his audience in his favorite 'sales pitch' pose.  "Ladies and – uh – ladies!  Get ready for the chance of a lifetime!  Step right up and kiss an Ed – and not just any Ed, you're getting the best of the bunch!"  He favored Nazz with his widest grin.  "These lips won't wait around forever, so who wants to be first?"  In an undertone still loud enough for the other kids to hear, he added, "As if we didn't know!"

But nobody responded, other than to glance at each other, or, in Nazz's case, to take a sudden and intent interest in making sure her shoes were tied.  Eddy's grin slipped slightly.  "I said, who wants a kiss?"  He sidled closer to Nazz.  "There's a discount if you buy more than ten at a time, you know!"

Kevin barked a laugh.  "You think Nazz is gonna pay to kiss you?  Stick to kissin' yourself in the mirror, dork, no girl's gonna fall for your stupid scam!"  He elbowed Rolf and snickered.  "Maybe Eddy can use some of your hairball to make himself a pretty wig, huh Rolf?"

Rolf had been echoing Kevin's grin, but at the reference to his erstwhile 'tumbleweed' he frowned.  "Must Rolf warn you yet again?  Do not offend the honored facial tweezings, for you risk the vengeance of a thousand onions!"  Kevin ignored him, still laughing at Eddy.

"Forget the peanut gallery, Nazz, we've got important business to discuss."  Eddy's growl soon gave way to his wheedling 'salesman' tone once more.  "It's only a quarter a kiss, priced just right for you money-minded romantics!"  He somehow managed to raise his eyebrows and wink at the same time.  "And did I mention the frequent buyer discount?"

Nazz was already backing away.  "Um, that's great Eddy, but I'm – uh – all out of change right now."  She smiled apologetically and pretended not to hear the jingling in her pockets.  "Maybe another time, oka – "

"Don't worry about it, Nazz, I'll spot ya!"  Kevin dug in his pockets while Eddy and Nazz both shot him dirty looks.  "We wouldn't want a little thing like money to get in the way of true love, would we?"  The quarter clinked down onto the table; Eddy's eyes strayed to it, but for once he let it remain where it lay.  "Go ahead, Nazz, your "good kissin'" awaits!"

"Gee…thanks Kevin."  By the time Nazz had turned back to Eddy, her face had been carefully composed into a look of polite anticipation.  "Okay, Eddy, I'm ready..."  With a barely perceptible shrug, she closed her eyes and leaned in, her lips puckered.

Eddy found himself staring at Nazz in horror.  Nazz was right there, waiting for him to kiss her!  But wasn't that what he'd wanted?  Of course it was!  He could do this!  It was just distracting having all those people watch him, that's all.  What the heck was everyone doing here, anyway?  Couldn't a guy get a little privacy?

With a baleful glare at his audience, Eddy wiped his forehead and looked at Nazz again.  He could do this.

She's just a girl, Eddy...no need to be scared...just a girl...even though it IS Nazz.  It's just a girl and just a kiss...and…don't worry about it just do it.  Don't worry...don't worry...don't worry don't worry don't panic...

And with that, Eddy puckered up and kissed...a pillow he'd been hugging for the past 5 minutes as he sat rocking back and forth in the fetal position.

"What? When did I get here?" Eddy said angrily as he realized he was back in his room. Ed was practicing kissing with a chicken he had brought with him and Edd was perusing a large stack of books.

Edd looked up.  "Well, Eddy, let's just say you fell short of – ah, that is to say, you didn't quite deliver on – "

"You were frozen like the Abominable Snow-Monkey fresh from the bathtub!" Ed chuckled.

Eddy growled at Ed.  He got up and looked at the books Edd was flipping through. "Oh geez, not that psychology junk again!  You don't think you're gonna try any of that stuff on me, do you?"

"Eddy, you're currently the laughing stock of the cul-de-sac, I hardly think you want that, do you?"  Edd sighed as Eddy glared even more forcefully at the books.  "And lest you've forgotten, there's also the small matter of Kevin's quarter, still on your person..."

"What're you talking about, Sock-head, I never touched – " waving an irritated hand at Edd, he was surprised to discover his fist had been clenched tightly around... " – Kevin's quarter?"

"You grabbed it as you passed out, Eddy.  Not even Kevin and Rolf together could pry it away from you."

"You held it tighter than…uh…" Ed scratched his head, then looked back up.  "Something that holds things really tight, Eddy!"

Edd sighed.  "Eloquent as ever, Ed…But the point is that that's Kevin's quarter, Eddy – if you don't deliver as promised, you'll have to offer him a refund..."

Eddy's glare slipped a little as he glanced from Double-D, to the books, to the quarter in his hand.  A bead of sweat grew on his forehead.  "All right, fine!"  He threw himself down on his bed, glowering at the ceiling.  "Do your Cyclops-ology junk on me, see if I care!"  He sat up and scowled at Edd.  "But it better have nothing to do with that hypnotizamathingy because everyone knows my will's too strong for that."

"…if you say so, Eddy..."

"Can you feel the mashed potatoes tonight?"  Ed retrieved his notebook and wrote:

"Soft like an onion and bright as a gumball

Tomatoes are neat

And you smell like one too!"