Disclaimer: We do not own any of the characters, they are J.K. Rowling's. We also don't own the little excerpt from the book at the beginning, that's hers too.

Author's note: We are proud to present this bit of utter nonsense for you viewing pleasure. But you need to find out what really happened that night, after all. Hehe! Please review!

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Excerpt from OOtP:

Snape threw Harry from him with all his might. Harry fell hard onto the dungeon floor.

"You will not repeat what you saw to anybody!" Snape bellowed. "No," said Harry, getting to his feet as far away from Snape as he could. "No, of course I –"

"Get out, get out, I don't want to see you in this office ever again!"

End of Excerpt

As Harry hurtled towards the door, while trying to dodge the many jars that were flying at him, a jar of dead cockroaches hit him square in the head knocking him out cold. Snape stopped midway through throwing another jar at Harry as he watched one of them hit him right in the forehead and he felt the boy drop with a loud thud to the carpeted floor of his office, covered in cockroach juice. 'Uh oh' Snape thought, lowering the glass jar he had been about to throw. He took one tentative step toward Harry. "Harry..." he asked anxiously. "Er...I mean, Potter." He said, jabbing Harry's side with his finger. "Wake up Potter!" Snape took one step back from the unconscious boy. 'Holy Shit, I'm in trouble.' he thought, running a hand through his greasy hair nervously. 'Good going Severus. You killed the boy who lived!'

"Harry," he said, slapping him in the face. "Get up!" Still nothing. 'I should take him to Poppy....but then she'll want to know what happened to him...How am I going to explain this?' 'Well Poppy, Mr. Potter here stumbled onto some of my more painful memories, and I, in an angry rage because he knew, whacked him in the head with a twenty pound jar, probably giving him severe brain damage, at the very least.' Snape snorted to himself as he pictured it, somehow laughing at a time like this. Then his anxiety returned as he heard footsteps drawing closer to his room.

Snape looked around quickly. 'Gotta hide him somewhere....where?' Snape glanced at the small black silk rug that adorned his already carpeted floor. It was risky, but it was the only place that even remotely large enough to hide a fifteen year old wizard's body. Snape quickly stuffed Harry under the rug, seconds before he heard a knock on his door. "Er...come in..." Snape managed, straightening his slightly rumpled robes, trying his best to appear calm, glancing at the enormous budge under the rug, that was about two feet tall.

Dumbledore causally opened the door, and waltzed in, humming slightly to himself. "Hello Severus," he said happily. He stood there with his hands folded behind his back with his face turned upwards and looking around innocently. There was a long silence. Professor Snape was growing more nervous by the minute. 'Did he not notice the great big bulge under the rug?' he thought. Severus's eyes flickered to it unwillingly every other second. Every minute or so, it twitched slightly.

"Oh! Is that an issue of Playgoat Magazine?" Dumbledore asked, walking across the room. Dumbledore stopped right on top of Harry. Snape grew pale (if that's even possible) as he heard several loud crunches as the Headmaster thumbed through the magazine, still standing a top the lump. "Amazing little creatures, and sexy too!" Dumbledore said with a growl, still blissfully unaware.

Snape coughed. "Is there something I can do for you Headmaster?" he asked finally.

"Oh you know me" he says, "I just like taking random visits into the teachers' offices to watch them get all nervous, like you are right now" Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling. "That's about all then, goodbye Severus." Snape breathed a sigh of relief. Before leaving, Dumbledore turned to him again. "By the way Severus, your rug is most comfortable." he said with a small smile before leaving.

Snape looked at the lump. 'What am I going to do now...?' Snape thought nervously.

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And now you know what REALLY happened the night Professor Snape caught Harry looking into his Pensieve...

A private joke brought to you by KeithUrbanFan and she-who-must-not-be-named666...