Link Becomes a
Pirate
PsychoSinner:WAZ UP!? me not much enjoy the story. Disclamer:This game is owned by nintendo bla bla bla mutter mutter mutter you know the drill. * *means thoughts during speech. [ ]means actions during speech.
Link woke up to the usual sounds. His grandmother making soup, his sister outside playing with those stupid birds and that motherfucking idot trying to get people into his boat so they could buy some stupid bait(although link had heard somewhere that he invite ceartain people to his back room to discuse a private deals about some drug or another) Link got up and then he got dressed in his green clothes which for some reason he had become rather attached to them and as he put them on he remembered that today marked the day that peace had ruled over the seas since the defeat of Ganondorf. He went and got his sword and sheild and went off into fairy woods to think. As he walked past that stupid fairies place he chuked a few bombs down the hole to her fountain oh well idiotic bitch was always trying to rape him in his sleep so she deserved it. He finaly came to the tree that he had saved Tetra from and sat down in the shade and closed his eyes with his hand on the hilt of his sword just incase that bitch of a fairy tried to come after him.
He awoke about three hours later and the first thing he did was check to see if his pants were still on. After making sure that the fairy hadn't tired to rape him he stood up and streached then he went back home. When he left the forest he saw that Tetra's ship had just arrived and she was talking to Link's grandmother. Link used the dekuleaf to float down to Tetra and he smiled at her. Tetra looked at him grinned.
Link:Hi Tetra long time no see how are you?
Tetra:I'm ok but you see I came here on bussiness.
Link:Realy like what.
Tetra:You see every year I go and hunt for new pirates to replace those lost in battle and things like that and since I know that you've already been through training I thought that you would make the perfect person to replace poor Niko.
Link:Yhea sure why not I've been iching to do some adventuring lately*and get away from this shit hole of an island*but uh one question what happened to Niko?
Tetra:He was eaten.
Link:Ah he fell into the water and was eaten by sharks.
Tetra:Acutaly no we ate him because we were stranded on an island and had no more food so we ate him.
Link:I see.
Tetra:Ok get on the ship.
Link:Uh ok just on question when do we leave?
Tetra:Now.
After Link boarded the ship it went and took off as the ship left Link saw that fairy come out of the forest and give him the finger so he went got his bow and shoot her in the head until she fell down blue blood pouring from the wound and landed on a bush crushing it only to reveal Links sister using her telescope as a dildo.
Link: ?_? !_! WHAT THE HELL SON OF BITCH I'LL KILL HER MY GRANDMOTHER SAID SHE ISN'T ALOWED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT KINDA STUFF UNTIL SHE WAS SIXTEEN OTHERWISE WHEN MY GRANDMOTHER DIES NIETHER OF US INHERIT NOTHING!!!
Tetra:What the fuck!?Whats going on up there.
Link turned to see Tetra come up from her room with a towel wrapped around her. Evendently she had been in the shower. Link grinned evily and used his dekuleaf to blow the towel off her and laughed as she screamed standing naked on her ship with a cold brezze blowing. A bunch of the pirates whistled and cheered Link and they stared at their captian standing there in the nude.
Tetra:Link do that again and i'll be forced to kill you and anyone mention this ever and I will personaly go fishing with your nuts.
All of the crew turned around and whistled as Tetra went down to her room stomping the whole way while Link laughed his ass off until he got up and went to the mess hall to get something to eat. When Link got to the mess hall he saw that Medli was being tied to a spit and the pirates were getting ready to eat her.Link went and told the pirates to get off of her and he picked her up and carried her kingkong style to his room where he raped her then he went and gave her back to the pirates who know had a nice hot spit ready for her. After he finished eating his former friends leg he went and decided he should see what he had to do so he went to MissTetra's room to see what he was supposed to do on this floating piece of crap.
Link:Tetra hi um yhea I was wondering exactly what...
Tetra:ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZz...
Link:*Wow is she alseep hey whats that**HOLY SHIT!!! It's me*
Link then noticed that Tetra was sleeping on her bed naked with her hand between her legs, so Link crept slowly outside of her room closed the door to her room and knocked.
Tetra:Hm what oh um just one minute[rustling sounds are heard and someone opening then closing a drawer]o.k. you can come in now.
Link:Hi Tetra um yhea I was wondering exactly just what am I supposed to be doing on this ship.
Tetra:Oh well you can either be my personal servent and bodygaurd, clean the ship and cook for the men, or you can dress up like a woman and let the men have their way with you until they get bored.
Link:Im gonna stick to option number one thank you very much.
Tetra:O.k. good now could you please go and get me something to drink.
Link:[Grins evily]ok[closes the door and starts to take off his pants]
Tetra:Link not funny get me water now.
Link:[puts his pants back on]do you want ice with that and will you have salt or fresh water
Tetra:[tapping foot annoyed as all hell]fresh with ice please.
Link:You're no fun ya know that.
Tetra:[has a small vein popping out of her forhead]SHUT UP AND GET ME THE WATER!!!
Link:Fine excuse me miss p.m.s. should I get you a tampon while i'm out.
Tetra:[kicks him in the nuts until he bleeds]WATER NOW!!! NO MORE JOKES!!!
Link in squeky voice:[is holding his nuts]yes mam
Link went and got the water mumbling something about always doing the grunt work while everyone else got to kill and steal and all of those other evil thing that he wasn't supposed to do but wanted to anyways. After delivering the water he went to the mess hall for supper and had himself some buffalo wings(well a part of one anyways)and then had himself a couple of tankerds of beer complaning about Tetra and the ship until he passed out.
Pirate
PsychoSinner:WAZ UP!? me not much enjoy the story. Disclamer:This game is owned by nintendo bla bla bla mutter mutter mutter you know the drill. * *means thoughts during speech. [ ]means actions during speech.
Link woke up to the usual sounds. His grandmother making soup, his sister outside playing with those stupid birds and that motherfucking idot trying to get people into his boat so they could buy some stupid bait(although link had heard somewhere that he invite ceartain people to his back room to discuse a private deals about some drug or another) Link got up and then he got dressed in his green clothes which for some reason he had become rather attached to them and as he put them on he remembered that today marked the day that peace had ruled over the seas since the defeat of Ganondorf. He went and got his sword and sheild and went off into fairy woods to think. As he walked past that stupid fairies place he chuked a few bombs down the hole to her fountain oh well idiotic bitch was always trying to rape him in his sleep so she deserved it. He finaly came to the tree that he had saved Tetra from and sat down in the shade and closed his eyes with his hand on the hilt of his sword just incase that bitch of a fairy tried to come after him.
He awoke about three hours later and the first thing he did was check to see if his pants were still on. After making sure that the fairy hadn't tired to rape him he stood up and streached then he went back home. When he left the forest he saw that Tetra's ship had just arrived and she was talking to Link's grandmother. Link used the dekuleaf to float down to Tetra and he smiled at her. Tetra looked at him grinned.
Link:Hi Tetra long time no see how are you?
Tetra:I'm ok but you see I came here on bussiness.
Link:Realy like what.
Tetra:You see every year I go and hunt for new pirates to replace those lost in battle and things like that and since I know that you've already been through training I thought that you would make the perfect person to replace poor Niko.
Link:Yhea sure why not I've been iching to do some adventuring lately*and get away from this shit hole of an island*but uh one question what happened to Niko?
Tetra:He was eaten.
Link:Ah he fell into the water and was eaten by sharks.
Tetra:Acutaly no we ate him because we were stranded on an island and had no more food so we ate him.
Link:I see.
Tetra:Ok get on the ship.
Link:Uh ok just on question when do we leave?
Tetra:Now.
After Link boarded the ship it went and took off as the ship left Link saw that fairy come out of the forest and give him the finger so he went got his bow and shoot her in the head until she fell down blue blood pouring from the wound and landed on a bush crushing it only to reveal Links sister using her telescope as a dildo.
Link: ?_? !_! WHAT THE HELL SON OF BITCH I'LL KILL HER MY GRANDMOTHER SAID SHE ISN'T ALOWED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT KINDA STUFF UNTIL SHE WAS SIXTEEN OTHERWISE WHEN MY GRANDMOTHER DIES NIETHER OF US INHERIT NOTHING!!!
Tetra:What the fuck!?Whats going on up there.
Link turned to see Tetra come up from her room with a towel wrapped around her. Evendently she had been in the shower. Link grinned evily and used his dekuleaf to blow the towel off her and laughed as she screamed standing naked on her ship with a cold brezze blowing. A bunch of the pirates whistled and cheered Link and they stared at their captian standing there in the nude.
Tetra:Link do that again and i'll be forced to kill you and anyone mention this ever and I will personaly go fishing with your nuts.
All of the crew turned around and whistled as Tetra went down to her room stomping the whole way while Link laughed his ass off until he got up and went to the mess hall to get something to eat. When Link got to the mess hall he saw that Medli was being tied to a spit and the pirates were getting ready to eat her.Link went and told the pirates to get off of her and he picked her up and carried her kingkong style to his room where he raped her then he went and gave her back to the pirates who know had a nice hot spit ready for her. After he finished eating his former friends leg he went and decided he should see what he had to do so he went to MissTetra's room to see what he was supposed to do on this floating piece of crap.
Link:Tetra hi um yhea I was wondering exactly what...
Tetra:ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZz...
Link:*Wow is she alseep hey whats that**HOLY SHIT!!! It's me*
Link then noticed that Tetra was sleeping on her bed naked with her hand between her legs, so Link crept slowly outside of her room closed the door to her room and knocked.
Tetra:Hm what oh um just one minute[rustling sounds are heard and someone opening then closing a drawer]o.k. you can come in now.
Link:Hi Tetra um yhea I was wondering exactly just what am I supposed to be doing on this ship.
Tetra:Oh well you can either be my personal servent and bodygaurd, clean the ship and cook for the men, or you can dress up like a woman and let the men have their way with you until they get bored.
Link:Im gonna stick to option number one thank you very much.
Tetra:O.k. good now could you please go and get me something to drink.
Link:[Grins evily]ok[closes the door and starts to take off his pants]
Tetra:Link not funny get me water now.
Link:[puts his pants back on]do you want ice with that and will you have salt or fresh water
Tetra:[tapping foot annoyed as all hell]fresh with ice please.
Link:You're no fun ya know that.
Tetra:[has a small vein popping out of her forhead]SHUT UP AND GET ME THE WATER!!!
Link:Fine excuse me miss p.m.s. should I get you a tampon while i'm out.
Tetra:[kicks him in the nuts until he bleeds]WATER NOW!!! NO MORE JOKES!!!
Link in squeky voice:[is holding his nuts]yes mam
Link went and got the water mumbling something about always doing the grunt work while everyone else got to kill and steal and all of those other evil thing that he wasn't supposed to do but wanted to anyways. After delivering the water he went to the mess hall for supper and had himself some buffalo wings(well a part of one anyways)and then had himself a couple of tankerds of beer complaning about Tetra and the ship until he passed out.