Chapter Three
Ray and Robbie had known Lily most of their lives and in all of those years they had never, ever, seen Lily like this. "Hey Lily. Hey Travis." Ray calls trying to keep an edge of normalcy in his voice while he feels like he is in some freakish alternate reality where Lily is falling apart, Travis is skipping classes, and every part of him wishes that he and Robbie had been right and they were just secretly dating.
"Let's get going." Travis and Lily had gotten to the station with just enough time to start the show so Lily could avoid and emotional work-up before having to do a show. Travis takes his seat, adjusts a few things and then begins, "three...two...one..."
An uncomfortable silence follows the mediocre shows - no one's hearts had been in it and when five minutes has passed and everyone had shifted as uncomfortably as possible Lily finally speaks. "You are probably wondering what's wrong with me."
"Lily you don't have to talk about it if you don't want." Robbie insists.
Lily shakes her head and Travis emerges behind the switchboard as if having him in closer proximity will led Lily the support she needs and it seems to have the proper effect. Lily clears her throat before actually speaking, "my Mom's sick and the doctors are saying she's probably only got a month or so left. There's nothing they can do for her."
"Lily..." Ray begins.
Lily holds up her hand, "let me finish, please. I don't want you to treat me differently, my life at home is far from normal so the days I do come to school and can do RFR I need you guys to treat me normally. I don't want to be coddled, I don't think I could handle it. All right?"
Ray and Robbie nod, "all right."
"Travis?" Lily focuses on the only one who hadn't agreed.
Travis seems more reluctant to do so but finally he nods, "fine."
Lily nods, "good. I should get home though, my mom should be getting back from the doctors soon, I guess I'll see you guys later." With her words Lily makes a quick exit.
Ray and Robbie turn to face Travis once she is gone and Ray asks, "is she going to be all right?"
Travis shrugs, "I'm not sure."
Ray runs a hand through his hair, "I promised Kylie I would meet her at Mickey's."
"Okay, cya Ray." Robbie calls and once he's gone Robbie addresses, "her mom's been sick for awhile, hasn't she?"
Travis nods, "Lily said two years."
"We should have known something was off, all this time and we couldn't see anything was up. That makes us terrible friends, doesn't it?"
Travis walks toward his house, Robbie's question has been running through his head the whole walk home. How could they've been so blind to miss Lily's obvious pain? Lily was obviously a much better actor than anyone knew, her smiles and cheerful jingles all seemed hollow now.
"Hello?" Travis calls out to an empty house. Travis sighs as a crash of thunder is heard, "great," things only seem to get words when the light flickers out, "it figures."
Through the dark Travis reaches the drawer where he knows are matches and candles for these exact instances carrying one of the candles into the kitchen he looks around for a note, which he easily finds in its normal spot.
Travis,
Dad and I both have late meetings today, there's money here for you to order pizza in - why don't you have friends over? Anyway we'll be late, but Dad left a book he thought you'd be interested in. I love you,
Mom
Travis sighs then spots the money and book, pocketing the money, he wasn't going to call anyone, so that left him with whatever book his father had left him. Passing the answering machine he listens to and then deletes the message from the school saying he had missed classes that day.
Several hours later Travis was falling asleep while reading the book his father had left him - another boring book on something Travis didn't care about. He'd finally slumped in his chair asleep just in time to be woken by the doorbell ringing. Closing the book Travis stands up and stretches and then walks down the hallway to open the door.
"Lily." Travis stares at a soaking wet Lily, her soaking hair blowing in her face. "Come in." Travis quickly moves out of the way, "what are you doing here?"
Lily shrugs, "I couldn't stay home. I'm just kind of in the way there, it's my Dad who takes care of her and I just kind of sit. I couldn't just sit anymore and I didn't have anywhere else to go..."
"It's all right," Travis assures Lily leading her past the chair he had just vacated and grabs the blanket off of it, wrapping it around her shoulders. "Stay here, I'll fine you a change of clothes."
"You don't..."
"It's not a problem, stay here, I'll be back." Travis leaves Lily in the chair with the candles an he fumbles towards the laundry room, which is closer than his room. Blindly grabbing in the dark Travis grabs what he assumes is a pair of his sweat pants and sweat but when Lily comes back into the living room a couple minutes later after having changed it's obvious that the pants belong to his taller, heavier father. The pants, despite the fact that the strings are pulled tightly, still hang low on her hips and pool around her feet and the sweater covers her hands and hangs to her knees.
"I'll find you something else." Travis offers standing.
Lily shakes her head, "this is fine, really, they're warm and that's enough."
Travis sits back down on the couch and is slightly surprised when Lily pulls the blanket tightly around her and sits down next to him. "This blanket smells like you," Lily holds the blanket close to her nose.
"Yeah, I brought it out from my room earlier." Travis responds surprised that Lily would recognize his smell.
"Travis," Travis can see that Lily is watching him in the candlelight.
"Don't apologize for showing up here." Travis cautions, knowing the words that are about to come out of Lily's mouth. "I don't want you to apologize."
"I didn't have anywhere else to go. Ray would make lame jokes to try to make me feel better and Robbie would want me to talk about it. I'd appreciate the effort but..."
"You don't want either of those," Travis surmises.
Lily nods, "I just don't want to think about any of it. Today when I fell asleep...it was..."
"It was?" Travis coaxes.
"It was the first time I've slept, well comfortably, in a long time. There's just something about you Travis, I know we've avoided talking about everything but there's always been something between us."
Travis faces Lily his eyes searching her face, unsure of what she wants him to say. "Lily..." Travis realizes once again just how close they are.
Your kiss might kill me
Lily's breath has slowed, she knew she and Travis were going to kiss again but she wasn't sure if she could handle kissing Travis again, and yet every part of her wanted it.
So won't you kill me, so I die happy
Lily leans in closer, her lips gently brushing Travis' and once again she is caught off guard by how kissing Travis takes her breath away. Their kiss lengthens and sweetens, Travis toys with a lock of her long, soft, hair as they kiss and when they finally pull apart to take a long breath staring at each other in the candlelight Travis watches as Lily's glowing eyes glimmer with tears.
"Lily I didn't..." Travis isn't sure what else to say.
And one of these days I won't be afraid of staying with you
"I have to go." Lily breathes shallowly as she jumps up.
"Lily..." Travis grabs her hand.
"I can't. Travis don't ask me to stay, because I can't, it's to hard and I don't know if I know how to deal with this right now."
Travis nods then feeling guilty for even attempting to push her, "alright, there is an umbrellas you can take with you, it's still raining."
"I'm sorry Travis." Lily murmurs.
Once Lily has gone the silence of the house seems to move in around and Travis suddenly feels claustrophobic despite the open room around him and walks toward the entrance way and opens the door. Lily had taken the last umbrella, his parents must have the other two, but it doesn't really matter because the rain has slower to a drizzle. Randomly walking Travis makes his way to the station without intending to, once there Travis is suddenly reminded of Robbie's question. If they were bad friends for not noticing Lily's pain then he was the worst because he had kissed her and only made her feel words. He had wanted to make her feel better and he had failed miserably.
Ray and Robbie had known Lily most of their lives and in all of those years they had never, ever, seen Lily like this. "Hey Lily. Hey Travis." Ray calls trying to keep an edge of normalcy in his voice while he feels like he is in some freakish alternate reality where Lily is falling apart, Travis is skipping classes, and every part of him wishes that he and Robbie had been right and they were just secretly dating.
"Let's get going." Travis and Lily had gotten to the station with just enough time to start the show so Lily could avoid and emotional work-up before having to do a show. Travis takes his seat, adjusts a few things and then begins, "three...two...one..."
An uncomfortable silence follows the mediocre shows - no one's hearts had been in it and when five minutes has passed and everyone had shifted as uncomfortably as possible Lily finally speaks. "You are probably wondering what's wrong with me."
"Lily you don't have to talk about it if you don't want." Robbie insists.
Lily shakes her head and Travis emerges behind the switchboard as if having him in closer proximity will led Lily the support she needs and it seems to have the proper effect. Lily clears her throat before actually speaking, "my Mom's sick and the doctors are saying she's probably only got a month or so left. There's nothing they can do for her."
"Lily..." Ray begins.
Lily holds up her hand, "let me finish, please. I don't want you to treat me differently, my life at home is far from normal so the days I do come to school and can do RFR I need you guys to treat me normally. I don't want to be coddled, I don't think I could handle it. All right?"
Ray and Robbie nod, "all right."
"Travis?" Lily focuses on the only one who hadn't agreed.
Travis seems more reluctant to do so but finally he nods, "fine."
Lily nods, "good. I should get home though, my mom should be getting back from the doctors soon, I guess I'll see you guys later." With her words Lily makes a quick exit.
Ray and Robbie turn to face Travis once she is gone and Ray asks, "is she going to be all right?"
Travis shrugs, "I'm not sure."
Ray runs a hand through his hair, "I promised Kylie I would meet her at Mickey's."
"Okay, cya Ray." Robbie calls and once he's gone Robbie addresses, "her mom's been sick for awhile, hasn't she?"
Travis nods, "Lily said two years."
"We should have known something was off, all this time and we couldn't see anything was up. That makes us terrible friends, doesn't it?"
Travis walks toward his house, Robbie's question has been running through his head the whole walk home. How could they've been so blind to miss Lily's obvious pain? Lily was obviously a much better actor than anyone knew, her smiles and cheerful jingles all seemed hollow now.
"Hello?" Travis calls out to an empty house. Travis sighs as a crash of thunder is heard, "great," things only seem to get words when the light flickers out, "it figures."
Through the dark Travis reaches the drawer where he knows are matches and candles for these exact instances carrying one of the candles into the kitchen he looks around for a note, which he easily finds in its normal spot.
Travis,
Dad and I both have late meetings today, there's money here for you to order pizza in - why don't you have friends over? Anyway we'll be late, but Dad left a book he thought you'd be interested in. I love you,
Mom
Travis sighs then spots the money and book, pocketing the money, he wasn't going to call anyone, so that left him with whatever book his father had left him. Passing the answering machine he listens to and then deletes the message from the school saying he had missed classes that day.
Several hours later Travis was falling asleep while reading the book his father had left him - another boring book on something Travis didn't care about. He'd finally slumped in his chair asleep just in time to be woken by the doorbell ringing. Closing the book Travis stands up and stretches and then walks down the hallway to open the door.
"Lily." Travis stares at a soaking wet Lily, her soaking hair blowing in her face. "Come in." Travis quickly moves out of the way, "what are you doing here?"
Lily shrugs, "I couldn't stay home. I'm just kind of in the way there, it's my Dad who takes care of her and I just kind of sit. I couldn't just sit anymore and I didn't have anywhere else to go..."
"It's all right," Travis assures Lily leading her past the chair he had just vacated and grabs the blanket off of it, wrapping it around her shoulders. "Stay here, I'll fine you a change of clothes."
"You don't..."
"It's not a problem, stay here, I'll be back." Travis leaves Lily in the chair with the candles an he fumbles towards the laundry room, which is closer than his room. Blindly grabbing in the dark Travis grabs what he assumes is a pair of his sweat pants and sweat but when Lily comes back into the living room a couple minutes later after having changed it's obvious that the pants belong to his taller, heavier father. The pants, despite the fact that the strings are pulled tightly, still hang low on her hips and pool around her feet and the sweater covers her hands and hangs to her knees.
"I'll find you something else." Travis offers standing.
Lily shakes her head, "this is fine, really, they're warm and that's enough."
Travis sits back down on the couch and is slightly surprised when Lily pulls the blanket tightly around her and sits down next to him. "This blanket smells like you," Lily holds the blanket close to her nose.
"Yeah, I brought it out from my room earlier." Travis responds surprised that Lily would recognize his smell.
"Travis," Travis can see that Lily is watching him in the candlelight.
"Don't apologize for showing up here." Travis cautions, knowing the words that are about to come out of Lily's mouth. "I don't want you to apologize."
"I didn't have anywhere else to go. Ray would make lame jokes to try to make me feel better and Robbie would want me to talk about it. I'd appreciate the effort but..."
"You don't want either of those," Travis surmises.
Lily nods, "I just don't want to think about any of it. Today when I fell asleep...it was..."
"It was?" Travis coaxes.
"It was the first time I've slept, well comfortably, in a long time. There's just something about you Travis, I know we've avoided talking about everything but there's always been something between us."
Travis faces Lily his eyes searching her face, unsure of what she wants him to say. "Lily..." Travis realizes once again just how close they are.
Your kiss might kill me
Lily's breath has slowed, she knew she and Travis were going to kiss again but she wasn't sure if she could handle kissing Travis again, and yet every part of her wanted it.
So won't you kill me, so I die happy
Lily leans in closer, her lips gently brushing Travis' and once again she is caught off guard by how kissing Travis takes her breath away. Their kiss lengthens and sweetens, Travis toys with a lock of her long, soft, hair as they kiss and when they finally pull apart to take a long breath staring at each other in the candlelight Travis watches as Lily's glowing eyes glimmer with tears.
"Lily I didn't..." Travis isn't sure what else to say.
And one of these days I won't be afraid of staying with you
"I have to go." Lily breathes shallowly as she jumps up.
"Lily..." Travis grabs her hand.
"I can't. Travis don't ask me to stay, because I can't, it's to hard and I don't know if I know how to deal with this right now."
Travis nods then feeling guilty for even attempting to push her, "alright, there is an umbrellas you can take with you, it's still raining."
"I'm sorry Travis." Lily murmurs.
Once Lily has gone the silence of the house seems to move in around and Travis suddenly feels claustrophobic despite the open room around him and walks toward the entrance way and opens the door. Lily had taken the last umbrella, his parents must have the other two, but it doesn't really matter because the rain has slower to a drizzle. Randomly walking Travis makes his way to the station without intending to, once there Travis is suddenly reminded of Robbie's question. If they were bad friends for not noticing Lily's pain then he was the worst because he had kissed her and only made her feel words. He had wanted to make her feel better and he had failed miserably.